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As mentioned before, I was not exactly familiar with the Middle Earth Franchise- either the movies or the books. I had seen The Fellowship of the Ring after much goading from my sister, but had fallen asleep around the time we got to the end of Bilbo's birthday party. So, contrary to what you may have been thinking, I did not open my eyes to the shire, shout 'oh yay', make my way to Bilbo's house, and find myself accepted into the company pronto, any questions asked immediately deflected by Gandalf.

No, it was a lot more trickier than that.

I opened my eyes to the view of a starry night sky. I was struck by the thought of how normal it seemed; for a second I thought maybe I was fine, was lying on a sidewalk in Stirling, that maybe I had passed out (I had the tendency to do that if I hadn't had enough breakfast). But then I rolled over, groaning softly, and was met with the first strange sight of the night.

I was lying on a dirt road, surrounded by rolling hills. There was a weird chirping ever so often; birds, though not any I recognized. It was chill, and I wished for a coat. But then I noticed something.

Built into the hills were... doors? Windows? Smoke poured from chimneys sticking out of the grass, and in the distance, I could hear the sound of laughing, children, or maybe a couple. Something about the place seemed disturbingly familiar, like deja vu, but I had certainly never been here before, so I pushed the thought away.

I had either found myself in a ground living cult, or I was hallucinating. Possibly both. Maybe I was in some sort of coma, before I died. I mean, I should be dead. A truck had come right at me.

There was a weird pounding sound, and I looked around, trying to find the source, until I realized it was the sound of blood in my ears. This was bad. I had the mad urge to turn and say "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore' to someone, but then it hit me.

Wherever I was, I was completely and utterly alone.

Now, this would be enough to send even the most calm minded soul into a panic attack, and I could feel one coming on. Breathe deeply, I told myself, imagining my breath coming in waves. But I should have been dead! I shouldn't have been able to breathe, let alone see! Starts were showing in front of my eyes, and not the type in the sky above me. Oh no. I was loosing it. Shit, shit, shit, shi-

"Excuse me, but are you alright there lassie?" A rough, grandfatherly voice questioned.

Slowly, I turned, almost dreading what I would see, and found myself face to face with the second strange sight of the night.

It was a man, or at least, a humanoid figure. He was short, with a long white beard, and a flop of silvery hair. It almost looked as though he was wearing... leathers? A tunic? Was that a handle of a weapon peaking from his belt? Despite his kindly eyes, I immediately pegged him as an enemy.

"Don't you-" I cringed at the way my voice shook. "Don't you take one step closer".

The humanoid looking midget took one step closer, looking concerned. I dug in my satchel, searching frantically for the pepper spray that Mom had given me when I turned 15. Ah! Here it was!

I whipped it out. "I said, don't you take one ste'', and then glanced down at my pepper spray, attempting to press the button.

Suffice to say, it wasn't pepper spray. As a wonderful display of my luck, even in this hallucination-coma-cult world, I had grabbed my tampon.

Torn between bursting into tears, and laughing hysterically, I shoved my tampon back into my bag, and put my hands in the air. "Okay. You got me. Take me to your prison or whatever".

The humanoid looking midget looked alarmed at this idea. "No, no, I wouldn't think of such a thing, miss. You just looked lost, and I was wondering if you might be in the need of some assistance." Either he hadn't recognized the tampon, or he was choosing to ignore it. Looking at his face, I realized three things.

A) He did seem to be telling the truth.

B) I was in fact in the need of some assistance.

C) It was time to lie.

"Oh, yes, sorry for the confusion, sir". I faked a laugh, stumbling to my feet. One of the heels had cracked, and I kicked the shoes off discretely, which is to say I stumbled out of them cursing under my breath. "It's been a very tiring journey, and I'm afraid I need a place to stay."

"Well." said the humanoid looking midget (I was not actually that much taller than him standing. Something was off) "I'm afraid we are at a dilemma here. I do not come from these parts, and have not a clue of a place to stay, Miss-?"

"Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn Moore."

"Miss Moore. I am Master Balin, at your service."

He bowed. I nodded my head and made a squeaky noise, the pinnacle of class. Definitely a hallucination. Who used titles like these?

"However, Miss Moore, I have a meeting with friends I need to attend tonight. I extend my deepest apologies, but I am late, and must be going."

He looked concerned. I didn't blame him. I wouldn't want to bring a creepy girl who had brandished a tampon at me to some party either. I decided I could save us some of the awkwardness. As the queen of awkward, I was good at that.

"It... It's okay. I understand completely." I tried to give him my most understanding smile. I'm sure I just looked constipated, but it was an effort nonetheless. "If you could just point me in the direction of the town square, I think I'll try to find a hotel to stay the night".

The humanoid looking mid- I mean Master Balin, aka the King of cosplay in hallucinations, looked relieved. I felt his relief as he said goodbye, wished me good luck on my travels, and then vanished into the distance. That's when I realized I'd just left the only person (albeit a weird one) who might have known something walk away.

So I did what any rational person would do.

I sat down by the side of the road and sobbed. Sobbed because I was alone. Sobbed because I wasn't waking up. Sobbed because the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I should be dead. Sobbed because something here was very, very wrong. Sobbed because I had no idea what to do, and I needed control.

That's when I heard it. The voices.

Loud, merry voices. Lots of them. They sounded close. Probably the only reason they hadn't seen me was because I was currently trying to make myself as small as possible next to a bush, which, unbeknownst to me at the time, would become a theme. Bless foliage.

I curled myself smaller and smaller, which was apparently an easy feat now. I could even tuck my hands into the sleeves of my shirt, something I hadn't been able to do before. Something about this seemed weird to me, but I shook the thought away. This could be thought of later, hopefully as I lay on some nice fluffy pillows in an hotel room. For now I needed to imagine that I was a clump of green leaves.

The voices stopped, and I heard the sound of heavy breathing. Shit. They'd seen me.

Taking a quick peek before immediately slamming my eyelids back together, I was faced with the 3rd weird sight of the night.

Standing in front of me was a group of men, if I could call them that. From what I had gathered, there had been at least 6 short ones, as well as a tall old guy with a long beard. I immediately christened them humanoids one through eight and Dumbledore. Humanoids one through eight all were dressed like Master Balin, with leathers and heavy boots, and -my stomach dropped- weapons. Heavy, sharp looking weapons that glinted under the dying light. Dumbledore looked scarily like the Dumbledore from the movie franchise, with his silvery white hair and long robes. There was a funky looking staff in his hand.

Great. Not only was I in a coma induced hallucination, my hallucination was apparently filled with people going to some convention. Wonderful.

"Miss? Is there anything we can... erm... do for you?"

I cracked my eyes, and took a better look at the people in front of me, trying to figure out the one who had spoken. These people seemed to be all out extremes; very short and very tall, elaborate beards, giant weapons. Slowly, I lifted my head up. Maybe it would be best to be nice in this situation. My only weapon was a tampon, and while that was scary to some males, best not to take chances when it came to giant axes.

Very, very slowly I stood up. The soil beneath my feet was soft, and I pushed it around with my toe slightly. In hindsight, I'm sure I must have looked quite strange, what with my foreign clothing, bloodshot eyes, snotty face, and hair that looked more like a mop then a 'doo.

"Um... Hi." I gave a little wave with my hand, sniffled slightly, and promptly burst into a bout of coughing. The humanoids one through eight stood there looking awkward. Dumbledore just looked vaguely exasperated. Altogether, not the worst first impression.

Finally, one of the humanoids stepped forward and held a little vial under my nose. "Here, Lassie. Sniff this."

Sniff it! What if it was drugs? However, with his maintained short beard, elaborately braided hair, and slightly paunchy stomach, he looked more like my crazy grandfather than a drug dealer. And I was beginning to hack. I inhaled, and, after a couple hiccups, quieted.

"Thank you", I mumbled.

"You are very much welcome! Master Dori, at your service."

He bounced slightly, seemingly quite enthusiastic. I glanced back at the newly christened humanoids one through seven, and Dumbledore. A few offered me smiles. Most just looked wary.

"My name is Gwendolyn Moore. And who might you all be?"

I was quickly introduced to Ori, Nori, Bifur, Bombur, Bofur, Oin, and Gloin. Dumbledore gave a small smile at their quick bows and hasty voices. I must admit, so did I.

"And I am Gandalf the Grey. Where might you be going on this fine night?"

Gandalf.

Gandalf.

That name triggered enough of my sister's incessant ramblings, and I knew where I was. That wasn't Dumbledore, though he was a wizard. Dori and the others; they were dwarves.

I fainted.

A/N

Hi Everyone! That was chapter 2. Sorry for the complete and utter fillerness. It was kind of nesasary. I am also sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I was just so happy with the response I got last time that I wanted to get you guys another one! The longer between the updates, the longer the chapters (just letting you know). Finally, there's going to be some interesting drama next chapter when Gwen meets the rest of the Dwarves!

In terms of responding to reviews, I do so in A/N's.

Thank you everyone that followed and favorited, and of course, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You guys give me life, and I'm so happy you're interested.

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LightandDarkHeart: Ahhhh, thank you! I always feel so happy when I hear that I 'hooked' someone. I hope you enjoy the descriptions in this chapter as well! It was a relief to hear the grammar was fine :)

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