I AM SO SORRY! I AM THE WORST FANFIC WRITER IN THE WORLD! I didn't mean to put this fic on hold, but now I'm back! NEXT CHAPTER!
Chapter 34 Regret and Confusion
A few weeks before the gala…
The bustling city of Cloudsdale was mysteriously quiet that night… too quiet.
Normally at night the floating city was still active with pegasai hovering to get to their destination. However, this particular night was a bit different.
Nopony was out in the city. Nopony was traveling to work… and Nopony talked. It was dead silence. Everypony was at home in their beds, snoozing the night away.
A dark figure in a black cloak trots quietly through the city. The only sounds were the wind howling and the figure's hooves as she walked. She was like a shadow that would always be attached to you….. Forever.
The figure had finally gained enough strength to do this. It was her destiny.
Her right eye twitched for a brief moment but didn't bother her at all. She was used to it.
The mare in the cloak made sure not to be seen. She couldn't fly… no not yet, but soon she would soar.
The mare smiled wickedly. After all these years, her purpose would finally be fulfilled…
To destroy her life.
The figure reached her destination, the edge of Cloudsdale. She quickly hid behind a cloud building. A cop was guarding the city line. The figure hiding giggled... this would be too easy.
Making sure her face wasn't showing, she approached the officer.
"What are you doing here so late at night?" The officer asked suspiciously.
The mare in the cloak giggled mischievously. The sound of that laugh the officer's spine tingle, making him very uncomfortable…
His serious expression turned to a look of concern. "Miss, are you lost?"
The mare merely giggled again… then she finally spoke.
"The only one who is lost is you…" She said in a voice that sounded like chalk on a chalkboard.
The officer was about to ask the mare if she was drunk, when a neon green mist swirled around him. He coughed and the mist suddenly engulfed him.
The last thing the stallion saw before he blacked out was the bright glow of the mare's neon green eyes in the darkness…
The mare laughed evilly as she swiftly walked past the asleep stallion. As she did, her cloak flowed gracefully behind her.
"Are you proud of me Daddy?" She asked out loud.
"Yes my little creation of destruction…" the one called "Daddy" answered.
The deep male voice had come from the mare's head. Only she could understand it.
"When can I be free?" The mare asked.
"Soon…" The voice answered with a chuckle so deep it would send a shiver down your spine. "Soon…"
The mare smiled… it wasn't a pretty one…
She trotted toward the edge of Cloudsdale and looked down. Ponyville was miles below…
That was too much of a distance for the mare to handle…
"Why so hesitant dear?" the voice asked.
The mare snorted. "Stupid girl" the mare answered. "It's not my fault she can't fly"
To prove her point, the mare took off her cloak to reveal her victim's wings. She spread them out. The peach colored wings were black and churned at the tips. They were shriveled, which made them impossible to lift somepony off the ground.
"They aren't actually burned" The mare said. "But I-"
"Oh shut up" The voice cut her off.
"Daddy, please don't do this" the mare pleaded. "I didn't mean to-"
"You idiotic child" he said. "I thought you would have enough common sense to pick a body that can fly!"
"Daddy I had no choice!" the mare wailed. "There were only two Pegasai in the group. One was a slow flyer and I figured the other would be-"
"HER WINGS WERE SHRIVELED!" the voice boomed.
The mare cowered in fear.
Then there was a pause…. Not a good one…
"You're weak" the voice finally said. "You let this happen to yourself. This is all your fault. If you had fought back against the Tentavus in the first place NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!"
The mare tried so hard to fight back the tears. She couldn't show weakness… she had to prove to him she was not weak. All she ever wanted was her Daddy's approval. Her whole life she strived for it… but she didn't try hard enough….
It was true. It was all too true. If she hadn't had just stood too frozen to move when the Tentavus attacked, this wouldn't have happened. It was all her fault…
She couldn't stop what happened next.
A single tear trickled down her cheek, and onto the cloud floor below her.
"Daddy…." The mare choked out. She sniffled. "Please…. Stop"
Suddenly the voice exploded, like a bomb had dropped. She didn't deserve it. All different voices of her "Daddy" yelled at her at the same time. The voices were too loud. It was torture for her, as if she had been trapped in Tartarus for a million years.
She screamed as the voices overwhelmed her.
"NO! PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP! DON'T DO THIS!"
But the voices wouldn't stop. Instead they got LOUDER. The mare collapsed into a heap of defeat. She tried to block out the noises with her hooves covering her ears, but it only made it worse. She burst into tears.
"YOU'RE A FAILURE" The leading voice continued. "You'll never get your powers back. Why did I create you in the first place? All you do is laze about! You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a daughter…"
The last sentence rang through the mare's head several times.
She couldn't take it anymore.
She felt something rumbling at the bottom of her soul. She didn't know what was happening to her, and she didn't want to. The rumbling grew louder and louder and louder. Celestia, she couldn't feel her hooves as they shook at her sides. She could feel the anger boiling up inside her. That was what it was... pure anger.
She completely snapped.
She was no longer a pony. Her eyes were wild, and not a single ounce of sanity were in them. The neon green eyes began to turn blood red. She took short, staggered breaths. She screamed ferociously in pure anger and vengeance.
The citizens of Cloudsdale were oblivious to the deranged mare at the edge of the city. They were much too busy snoozing to worry about it. It was almost as if they were all in a coma or something…
The mare took a few breaths to calm herself.
"I am not a failure" The mare sneered. Her voice dripped with ice. "I will get my powers back. I'm stronger than I've ever been. I am not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid of the Tentavus, I'm not afraid of you, and I'm not afraid of her. I am done hiding in the shadows. I'm done bidding my time and bottling up my emotions. I'm done being scared. It's time for me to finally take my place. I am going to make that girl's life a living nightmare. Nope, I take it back" She paused for effect. "I am going to make her wish she had never been born"
With that, she turned and walked away from the edge of the cloud city. Once she was far enough, she turned around and faced the edge of the cloud city. With a loud, determined, rally cry, she galloped towards the edge. She felt tears well up in her eyes as she leaped.
Her tears fell freely, as she desperately tried to use her wings to keep herself from crashing. She closed her eyes, giving one final attempt to lift herself up. She shut her eyes tight, fearing the worse. But when she didn't crash, she opened one neon green eye.
Puzzled, she opened both eyes. She saw the ground far below her, and she was soaring above the clouds. She smiled wickedly, and cackled into the sky. She would show them. She would show them all.
That mare had no idea what she was capable of.
"Look out Starry" The mare said in a mocking manner. "I'm coming for you"
She cackled once more, and her eye briefly twitched again …
Starshine's P.O.V
The day of the gala…
Fly, read, and pay attention. My daily routine consisted of these three things.
In the mornings, I always flew to school early. When I got there, I would usually fly around in a circle around campus thinking. I always flew to my classes early, so when I sat waiting for it to start I would read the book Twilight let me borrow. There was so many things I didn't know about magic, like that Starswirl the Bearded didn't really create the elements of harmony, it was actually Clover the clever. I would put the book away once I saw ponies come into the classroom. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to have this book out in class and I didn't want ponies questioning why I had this book, since I was a Pegasus. I found out I needed my eyes checked, so now I wore the glasses I used to wear in middle school. I only wore them in class, and took them off immediately after. The truth was, I didn't like wearing them. I could still see just fine, and didn't need them 24/7…
Anyway, I paid attention in class. What else would I do? School was a place to learn, so I might as well learn…
I had turned into a total egghead. But there's nothing wrong with that, it felt good to get straight A's …
At night, I tried extra hard with my lessons with Princess Luna. I didn't tell her about the wounded charm I had been working on by myself. After school, I would sneak away to my secret cloud at the highest point in Ponyville. I told my parents that I went there to do homework, but I would practice the spell over and over and over again. I would practice it until I knew it by heart. I practiced on other clouds too: Nopony ever came that high for some reason. Probably, they were scared their ears would pop. I'm not gonna lie, my ears did pop on a regular basis up there, but at least it was isolated and relaxing. The sky was where I could be alone and think. Anyway, I would train hard every day to be prepared for that gala. Anything could happen and I had to be ready. When I hung out with Apollo, we would normally just play songs on the piano together. We would write our own duets and we had fun doing them. But we would never forget that special song that started it all. I never told him my true feelings, because I was scared to. What if he laughs and thinks it's a joke? What if he hates me? What if he stopped visiting me? I couldn't risk it. I swore I'd only tell him when the time was appropriate, and right now wasn't it. I had to focus... get schoolwork done, study, and train. That's all that matters right now.
This daily routine continued like this for the rest of the year. Ultimately I graduated the 11th grade. With summer starting my routine would change. In fact, it wouldn't be a routine at all. Without the regiment of school I would have more free time than I would ever be able to manage…
I spent the first few days of summer on my cloud, either training, reading, napping, or singing.
It was a great place to train. I would cast a spell to create an exact replica of Discord to train with. I know, I know… it's stupid. But what else was I supposed to take out my anger on? Beating up that dummy… helped in a way. I had all this anger boiling up inside me… I couldn't take it out on the bathroom stalls. (Right after I blew it up, I had fixed it) It felt good when I sparred with the dummy. I concentrated every second of the fight. I even cast another spell on the dummy that made it come to life. I even made it talk like him. His mocking tone motivated me to try even harder.
Reading helped too. Reading the book Twilight gave me helped me know what spells might be useful. I didn't remember all of them, but at least I knew a few. I memorized at least eighty percent of the book.
And I napped, and when I did I dreamed. Dreaming was an escape from the curse. Good dream, bad dreams… even if it was a nightmare, it didn't matter. At least it was something to do. The thing about controlling dreams that kind of sucks is not being able to determine whether a dream is a nightmare or not. I've just never been given the choice for some reason.
Lastly, singing helped calm my emotions. It made me feel good, not angry. When I sang, my bottled up emotions were let loose. And it expressed the way I felt.
The third day of summer, Friday, my birthday, and the day of the gala. It was a boring morning. Of course I woke up early, before my parents, and slipped away to my cloud. I had probably woken up at five. I remember waking up at midnight to put away the stars, then going back to sleep (All the while thinking "Happy birthday to me").
Anyway, I got to my cloud (Which BTW was still marked with my initials S. D.) and landed.
The cloud had gotten bigger over the last few weeks since I had decided to add more onto it. With my magic, I had extended it. (I couldn't make clouds, but I could stretch reality) I'd say it used to be about…. 10 feet long, and now it was double that. For the first two hours I was up there I had read three more chapters of the book entitled "Defense against Dangerous Magical Beasts. Everything You Need to Know about Magical Fighting" After that I began to train.
I had no idea what time it was. All I knew was that I had to keep going.
Right now, the Discord dummy and I were in the middle of a sword battle. I dove in to jab at him, but he moved out of the way in time. Swords clanged. We were both flying through the air, in perfect timing and rhythm. I was wearing the battle armor that I wore when I trained with Princess Luna. It was awesome: old, but fashionable. It was shiny and it covered my torso and flank. Along with the upgrade were some solid metal boots. They protected my hooves from bruising or bleeding when I punched. To top it all off was a steel helmet. It was basically a mask, and it looked similar to helmet Princess Luna's wore when she became Nightmare Moon… only mine was smaller and silver. I had my mane tied up in a messy ponytail (no pun intended). It was super unkempt, but at least it kept it out of the way. It flowed behind me, and it wasn't all up in my face like it normally was.
I let out an angry yell as I tried to strike the dummy's head with my blade. The dummy was too fast though and it blocked the strike just in time.
He leaned in menacingly.
"If I were you. I would give up princess" The dummy spoke darkly.
My eyes were blazed with fire. "Never"
He growled as we both broke away.
Our swords clanged again. The dummy dove in to jab me, but I flew out of the way in time. He struck again, this time I blocked. He ducked, as I tried to strike him on the side of the head. When he was on the cloud floor he pulled with all his might on my hind leg. I let out a cry of surprise as I fell onto my back on the soft cloud. I quickly looked around for my sword in panic. Then I looked over the side of my cloud. My sword had fallen through the cloud floor and was plummeting below! My eyes widened as the dummy yelled and tried to stab me in the gut. I rolled out of the way in time, got up, and dove off the cloud.
The Discord dummy chuckled darkly. "You can run, but you can't hide!"
I ignored the menacing voice. I had put a spell on the dummy so that he couldn't leave my cloud. I focused on pursuing the silver blade falling towards Ponyville. The only thing on my mind was that I couldn't let the sword fall into the town. If it did it could hurt somepony: it could drop on somepony's head, or spill my secret. Honestly, I had no idea which was worse.
"Come on" I muttered. "Come on"
I found myself flying faster and faster and faster until I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my wings to my sides and free fell towards the blade.
I was so close to the sword... I reached out with my teeth, careful to aim for the handle instead of the blade.
I missed.
My eyes watered as I reached out to grab the sword again. I felt adrenaline pump through me as a bubble of air began to form around me.
"Oh no"
I couldn't do another sonic rainboom! That would surely attract attention from the ponies down below! I didn't know how to stop it... I had to do something or else all of Ponyville will know who I was. I stretched my neck as far as I could, and grabbed the sword in a tight clench of my teeth. Quickly, I opened my wings and flew up.
I landed back on my cloud. The Discord dummy turned around and saw me. "Well well well" he said with an evil smile. "What do we have here? Miss Goody two hooves pony princess is back for more trouble!"
He approached me slowly. I tried not to show that I was tired, but I was panting heavily. I had to stay strong. If this was a real fight, I had to keep going no matter what. The fake Discord leaned down so that he was eye level with me.
"Pity" He mused. "This game was just starting to get interesting. But now it seems that you're too weak to handle yourself"
My eyes narrowed to slits. "What makes you say that?" I managed to wheeze out.
Discord dummy merely laughed. "The only reason you're not afraid of the real me is because you hide behind your alicorn powers that he gave you" He started to circle me. "On the outside, you look like you're ready to just kill somepony! But on the inside you're still the same mare you were a year ago"
"That's not true!" I protested.
He laughed.
"Think about it Starry" He continued. "What can you do without your powers? Can you fight the real me without them? I'm sure Discord won't have swords laying around. He's more experienced with magic. And what would happen if you didn't have magic? Without it, you're just a weak little girl!"
I looked at him in anger... "Say that again" I said.
He leaned in close. "You. are. a. weak. little. GIRL!"
I snapped.
I let out a ferocious cry and lunged at the dummy. It didn't matter that I didn't have a plan, I didn't care. I was totally exhausted… but even though this battle was fake, it felt incredibly real to me. All of my anger I had been holding inside of me was unleashed.
I threw stars with my horn as I galloped towards him. He blocked them, and I drew closer. When I threw a star he would throw out his lion paw and eagle claw and blocked them with a golden magical blast.
With each star I threw I grew angrier and angrier.
"That's the Starshine I know!" The dummy called.
"Shut up!" I yelled, and a dark blue magical blast erupted from my horn.
Once I got close enough I started throwing all kinds of magical attacks. I threw everything I knew at him. The first time I fought this punching bag it was cool. All he did was throw insults that had no effect on me whatsoever. And I fought with magic, which was controlled. The second fight was pretty awesome. He threw even more insults that had no effect and threw more magical spells. No big, I was still able to control my magic.
But this fight was different. The main difference was that this time I couldn't control my magic. When I felt strong emotions I would lose control. When I cried… when I was overly happy… and when I was angry... especially when I was angry. For some reason I ignored my conscience completely. I knew that I had to stop, and control my emotions. I had to calm down so I could control my magic. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.
Star by star, spell by spell, and curse by curse, I threw everything. I cast every single spell I knew. Tears were welling up in my eyes. They were out of pure hatred. I bit my cheek so hard it bled, causing me to scream in even more anger. I wasn't angry about the insult, I was angry about everything. I was taking out all of my anger on the very being who ruined my life. He tried to take over Equestria three times, he manipulated my mom, and he insulted Princess Celestia.
And he cast this stupid curse on me that didn't even make any sense!
The dummy tried to use his magic, to fight back or free himself… but I was much too fast. His eyes widened in horror. After firing everything except for the wounded charm, I managed to get a grip on the replica's neck. My eyes stung from both sweat and tears, and everything was blurry. My wild, furious eyes had returned.
"Take. It. Back." I said in a barely audible, low whisper.
Through misty eyes I saw the fake Discord's face. His eyes were filled with terror, but I didn't care. I couldn't remember why I had created it in the first place. If all served to do was cause me more pain, I wanted nothing to do with him.
"Now Starshine, let's not-"
"TAKE IT BACK!" I cut him off.
"I'm sorr-"
"NO! TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT ALL BACK!" I cried. "TAKE BACK EVERY WORD YOU SAID TO ME TODAY, AND MEAN IT!"
There was an unsettling silence. He was the first to break it.
"You aren't weak, you don't hide behind your magic, and you're not a little girl. I'm sorr-"
Discord dummy once again, never got to finish his words.
A terrified shriek filled the air, and stung my eardrums. I recognized that scream all too well.
I quickly turned around. My composure changed from fury to concern. Fake Discord sat up from his pinned position. His eyes also widened, even more than before.
Rainbow Dash's face was paled and she was shivering. Her jaw was dropped.
"Mom, I can explain" I said.
"You're actually fighting him…. Today?" My mom asked in shock.
She started to hyperventilate. I tried to calm her down.
"Mom, calm down I-"
"Calm down?" My mom asked. "How am I supposed to calm down when you're here fighting for your life?"
"Mom! It's ok! It's fake!" I explained quickly.
She was silent, and glanced at the fake Discord. He then glanced at me, as if asking "Is she serious?" My shrug answering his silent question. My mom looked like she was going to have a heart attack.
Finally, Discord dummy decided to break the silence.
"Boo" He said.
My mom shrieked again, and fell on her back on the cloud. The dummy started rolling on the cloud in laughter. I, however, was not amused. I quickly ran to help my mom get up and breathe normally. I turned and glared at the dummy.
"That wasn't funny"
I left my mom's side in an instant and walked menacingly towards the replica.
"Oh, come now Starry. Surely you can-"
SMACK!
I slapped him across the face: HARD.
"OW!" He yelled. He started rubbing his cheek in pain. "I guess you can't take a good joke"
"Get out" I clamped my jaws, and spoke through my teeth.
"Alright, fine. When you need me, you know how to reach me" Discord dummy said.
He then turned into a yellow glow. The light floated there for a moment before it sucked into my horn. It vanished without a trace. Celestia, Princess Luna was right. I had to control my emotions… especially my anger.
My voice softened. "Mom, are you ok? How much did you see?"
My mom looked up at me. "I saw enough. Are you sure it wasn't real?"
I nodded. "It's ok mom. I created him for training purposes"
I used my magic to remove my helmet.
"What's up?"
"I- I just came to tell you, you need to eat something before you get ready to go" Rainbow said, still trying to get over what had just happened.
My ears flattened. "Mom, about that… I've been having… second thoughts"
"What… why?" My mom asked with a concerning gaze.
"It's just that, what if he does attack?" I asked. "How am I going to cover it up in front of my friends? What if somepony gets hurt because of me? Think about it: If I don't show up at the gala, what are the chances he'll go at all if I'm not there?" I sat down next to her. "I can't stand to think that the ones I love might get hurt"
"I cannot believe I'm saying this… but no matter what, you have got to go to that gala" My mom said.
"But-"
"No buts! For one thing, I'm sure your friends would still like you… even if you are an alicorn fighting for justice"
"They don't even like me at all" I thought to myself.
"Besides, if you don't show up… he might get mad and attack early… You'll be in disguise. Everything will be fine as long as you keep your guard up. If he does attack, follow your heart and do what's right. Plus, it's your first Grand Galloping Gala. Make it special" My mom concluded, giving me a smile.
I smiled back. "Thanks mom"
"Now let's go get something to eat. I'm starving!" My mom exclaimed.
I got up and took off my armor. I put it in my large duffle bag and carried it as we flew off my cloud.
As I sat at my house eating leftover spaghetti, I couldn't help but wonder what might happen at the gala. Would things go good, or bad? I would be alone, except for Shootingstar… but he didn't really count. Yes, I was still going with him. I wanted to give him a chance, but I was still confused! I just wished that Apollo would be there. But the sad reality was, he couldn't come. He couldn't leave the dream world. But a part of me wished that somehow, someway, he would find a way to come.
He was my only true friend.
Hope you all enjoyed that chapter! Thank you so much for being patient! I'm almost done with my history project, so I will have more time to type during Christmas break! I'm making these super long, you guys deserve it! BYE AND MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS!