Three Blondes, a Brunette, and a Dog

Life in the White Fang had taught Blake the importance of waking early. She was no longer a member of the White Fang, but the habit refused to leave her, much to Yang's dismay. The blonde enjoyed cuddling, and Blake was apparently very cuddly.

Blake's amber eyes opened, and her gaze drifted to the window. The sky outside was grey, and rain pitter-pattered against the glass. Her lips curved up into a small smile. The twins would either be enraged that the rain had taken away their chance to go to the park and play or overjoyed that they'd have some puddles in the front yard to splash around in. Knowing them, they'd probably find a way to do both at the same time.

Next, her gaze shifted to the woman sleeping beside her, and her small smile became an outright, and perhaps slightly goofy, grin. Yang was beautiful, but she'd never been particularly elegant when she was asleep. Right now, she lay on her side, one arm flung over Blake, her legs tangled with the Faunus's. However, the real source of Blake's amusement was the lock of golden hair caught in Yang's mouth – a lock of hair that she was busy drooling on.

"Honestly." Blake reached over and gently eased the hair out Yang's mouth before grabbing a tissue off her bedside table to wipe off the drool. "You always make such a big fuss over your hair and then you do stuff like this."

Satisfied that Yang wasn't going to choke to death on her own hair, Blake let the other woman pull her closer. Despite the fact that Yang was the one whose Semblance made fire, Blake was the designated source of body warmth in their relationship. Yang claimed that it was a Faunus thing, but Blake had a sneaking suspicion that it was simply another excuse to keep her in bed in the morning. Well, she didn't mind. Staying in bed with Yang could be very, very pleasant.

It was also a Saturday, which meant they didn't have to worry about getting the kids to school or running off to Beacon to teach a class or two in between missions. They had all day to themselves – and the kids, of course. She leaned into Yang's embrace as the rain outside grew stronger, turning from a soothing murmur into a low rumble. Yang stirred, almost waking, until Blake soothed her by running her finger through her hair.

It was only after Yang had settled that Blake decided to get up. The twins would be up soon – they were too energetic to stay asleep for long, especially on a weekend. Oh, the girls didn't mind going to school, but they loved the weekends, and they most likely intended to use every possible millisecond playing and getting up to mischief. It was also Blake's turn to make breakfast, and she wanted to do it properly rather than throwing something together in an attempt to appease the ravenous hordes – better known as Yang and the girls. Seriously, it had to be a family thing since both Luna and Ruby also had bottomless pits for stomachs.

Carefully, Blake eased out of Yang's embrace. The other woman grumbled, so Blake summoned a clone. It was one of her solid clones with a link to her mind. The two of them shared a look. Her clones had all of her memories and feelings – it would be more than happy to look after Yang while she took care of breakfast.

The clone looked at Yang, and Blake watched the play of emotions across its face as it leaned down and pressed a kiss to Yang's forehead. Was her expression always so tender around Yang? Regardless of how strange it was – the clone was a copy of her – Blake couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous.

Sensing the shift in her mood, the clone waved one hand at Yang, offering to change places. Blake considered the idea for a moment and then set it aside. No, she wanted to cook breakfast herself. She shook her head and slipped some clothes on as the clone climbed into bed beside Yang.

Blake padded down the corridor without making a sound. She stopped briefly at the door of the twins' room. She could have opened it, but she didn't want to wake the twins. They had very good hearing. Instead, she listened through the door, relaxing as she took in their smooth, even breathing. They were still asleep.

She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and turned. Another smile crossed her face. It was the family dog.

"Morning, Chomp."

Chomp was only two and half years old, but he was Saint Bernard, which meant that he was already enormous. Heck, he weighed more than her or Yang, and had for some time. But as big as he was, he was even friendlier. Nothing made him happier than curling up next to the rest of them or playing in the yard with the girls.

"How was your night, boy?"

Chomp gave her another wag of his tail and trotted up to nuzzle her calf. A pat on the head and a gentle scratch behind the ears earned Blake a happy sound from the canine as he followed her toward the kitchen. Her lips twitched. Unlike Yang and the twins, Chomp could always be counted on to keep her company early in the morning. The irony wasn't lost on her either. She was a cat Faunus and so were the twins – and they had a dog.

As they continued down the corridor, she took a quick look at the small room that they'd set aside for Chomp. It had started off as a little storeroom, but they'd quickly realised that the dog needed a place of his own in the house. The storeroom was close enough to their bedrooms that he wouldn't feel left out but far enough away that Chomp's occasional snoring didn't get too loud.

The storeroom was also in between their bedrooms and the front door. Although she and Yang had installed a comprehensive security system – one they'd gotten their friends to test – anyone who got through the front door would find themselves face to face with a very big – and very protective – dog.

As they passed through the living room and into the dining room, Blake checked the windows. It was an old habit from her White Fang days that she'd never been able to shake. Sensing her momentary unease, Chomp gave the air an experimental sniff. There were no new scents except for the smell of rain and wet grass coming from outside.

The dining room opened into the kitchen, and a counter with stools acted as a sort of divider between the two. Walking over to the stove, Blake grabbed an apron and put it on. It was time to make breakfast.

"All right. Let's make breakfast, Chomp."

Blake had learned to appreciate the importance of food as part of the White Fang. Living day-to-day and mission-to-mission, a good meal was one of the few comforts she'd had. Adam had helped her learn how to cook, and no matter how things had gone toward the end, she'd always be grateful for all the meals they'd shared. He'd been a friend when she'd badly needed one, someone who'd cared about her when it seemed like nobody else did.

Blinking away the unpleasant memories, she turned her attention back to the task at hand. Cooking for her family was another way of showing them she cared – Yang felt the same way about humouring all of the girls' attempts to play at being huntresses. As she started whipping up some omelettes and pancakes, Chomp took up his usual position in the corner. He even helped out now and then, nudging the fridge door closed when she left it open.

"Thanks."

The dog nodded back. He didn't like omelettes much, but he did enjoy the occasional pancake when he could convince the twins to share some with him. Fortunately for him, the twins were pushovers. All it took was a wag of his tail and a friendly smile, and they'd usually be more than happy to share a pancake with him. That was one of the nicest things about his pack – his family – everybody looked after each other, and they always ate together when they could.

"It won't be long now, will it, Chomp?" Blake smiled. "The girls should be up any second now.

No, it wouldn't be long. The smell of food was always enough to get the twins out of bed. Chomp nodded at Blake and then padded off toward the twins' bedroom. They always liked seeing him as soon as they woke up.

X X X

Li opened her eyes and turned to her left. As always, her twin sister, Alison, was already awake and staring at her.

"I win." Alison giggled. "Since I woke up first."

"I'll get you tomorrow." Li sniffed the air. The aroma of omelettes and pancakes wafted through the air. "Do you smell that?"

"Omelettes and pancakes." Alison, the older of the twins – if only by five minutes – grinned. "Mom must be cooking breakfast." She hopped out of bed. "Come on, let's go sneak up on her. I bet we can do it this time."

"Yeah." Li jumped out of bed, striking a heroic pose. "We'll beat her for sure."

The two smirked at each other. It was like looking into a mirror: both of them had their mommy's blonde hair, and both of them had their mom's amber eyes. And like their mom, both of them had little cat ears too. Li would have preferred something really awesome – like wings that let her fly – but Alison had always thought that claws would be cooler.

"We need a plan though," Alison said. "She always notices us."

"Yeah." Li frowned. "We could try hiding behind stuff and walking really quietly."

There was a gentle scratching on their door. Li's amber eyes lit up, and she bounded over to the door to open it.

"Chomp!"

She threw her arms around the big dog. He preened at the attention, and her sister joined her, doing her best to hug Chomp as tightly as she could. Chomp was younger than them, but he was already bigger than both their parents. He was bigger than any dog in the neighbourhood too, but he was very nice, not mean like some dogs.

"Hey, Chomp." Alison gave him a scratch behind the ears. "We're going to sneak up on mom, do you want to come?"

"But you have to be super sneaky." Li nodded sagely. "Because this time we're going to get her for sure."

The dog gave them what passed for a smile. He was always happy to play with the girls, and trying to sneak up on their parents was a very fun game, even if they never won.

The unlikely trio crept down the corridor – ignoring the fact that Blake's keen hearing had already overheard their plotting – and then stopped at the living room. The living room was a minefield. All they had to hide behind were the couches, the reclining chair, and the coffee table.

With all the stealth they could muster, Li and Alison crawled behind the couch, leaving Chomp to slink around the coffee table, his body pressed as flat to the ground as he could make it. Certain that they hadn't been spotted, the twins peeked around the corner into the dining room.

This was bad. There was hardly anything to hide behind, and they could see their mom at the stove cooking. As if to add to the problem, there was a freshly made omelette sitting on a plate at the dining table. It smelled so tasty, but it had to be a trap. The moment that they reached up to get it, their mom would see them.

"What do we do?" Li whispered. "Alison?"

"We can try hiding behind the chairs, but I don't think that will work."

"Yeah, and there's a gap between the chairs and the counter. We'll be seen for sure. We need something big enough to hide behind, but the only things big enough are the table and chairs." Li glanced at Chomp. "What do you think, Chomp?"

The dog, of course, did not say anything. But he did give Alison an idea.

"Wait! We can use Chomp." Alison stifled a cackle. "He's big enough to hide behind, and he can move. If we hide behind him, we can get to the kitchen without mom noticing us."

"That's a cool idea!" Li smiled and gave Chomp a fond pat on the back. "Chomp really is the best. If we can get to the counter, you can go low and I'll go high. We'll get mom for sure."

"Okay." Alison leaned over to whisper in Chomp's ear. "Here's what you have to do, Chomp…"

X X X

Blake heard a rustle from behind her and reached over for the metal spatula on the counter. She hadn't used this particular spatula yet, so it's surface was still clean. It wasn't quite as good as mirror, but it was good enough. It took everything she had not to burst out laughing. The girls had made dozens of attempts to sneak up on her over the years, but this was definitely new.

Chomp was walking across the dining room, standing as tall as he could on all fours, while Alison and Li crouched behind him, trying to hide behind him as he made his way toward the kitchen. The idea wasn't that bad – Chomp was very large – but the execution was hilariously terrible. The girls hadn't considered the fact that while Chomp's body was quite bulky, the length of his legs meant that she could still see under him. Then there was the fact the girls had a hard time keeping low enough, which meant that more often that not, she could see the tops of their blonde hair and their cat ears.

Still, it would be a little mean to put an end to the game so quickly. So Blake turned back to her cooking and let them get a little bit closer. Later, perhaps, she'd have to give them a few tips. She'd start with the whispering – although their hearing was starting to get keener than a normal human's, hers was already far, far better than theirs. If they were going to sneak up on her, they couldn't whisper as they went along.

"I don't think mom noticed us," Li whispered. "This is the best plan ever." She reached up to pat Chomp and then thought better of it – her mom would see her hand. "We're going to win this time."

"Yeah," Alison whispered back. "Okay, we're almost there. You go high and I'll go low."

Blake paused for a second. That was a new idea as well. Perhaps the girls had been listening when she and Yang talked strategy. Lifting the spatula up again, she spotted Alison creeping along the ground behind Chomp while Li made a beeline for the counter. If she knew her children – and she did – Alison would aim for her legs while Li jumped off the counter at her. It was a crazy strategy, but then again, they were crazy kids.

However, the girls had added yet another element to their plan – distraction.

"Go on, Chomp." Alison whispered. "Go distract, mom."

The dog trotted into the kitchen and headed over toward Blake. She smiled down at the dog and began to talk about her plans for the next batch of omelettes. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Li climb onto the counter as Alison snuck around the corner of the counter and into the kitchen itself.

Li sprang.

Blake turned and snatched Li out of the air in one smooth motion, tucking the girl under her arm. As Alison charged, she twisted out of the way and grabbed her too, tucking her under the other arm. As for the cooking – Blake hadn't neglected that. In the split-second she'd had before Li leapt off the counter, she'd summoned a clone to look after it.

"Gah!" Alison flailed. "She got us, Li!"

"Now, Chomp!" Li gestured at the dog. "Get mom!"

The dog tilted his head to one side and stayed exactly where he was. As much as he liked the girls – and he loved them – he knew who ran the pack, and it wasn't them. Besides, Blake was the one who always made sure to buy his favourite brand of dog food.

"Come on, Chomp!" Li gesticulated wildly. "Do something."

He didn't move so much as an inch.

Blake grinned down at her two children. Li was still flailing, but Alison appeared to have accepted defeat. "He knows who is in charge."

"I guess…" Li went limp – and then waved her arms around frantically. "Go, Chomp!"

Once again, the dog stayed exactly where he was.

"Okay, that's enough, you two." Blake set the twins back on their feet. "That was a nice idea, you know, using Chomp as moving camouflage, but you made a few mistakes."

"Like what, mom?" Alison asked.

"Well, there was the whispering." Blake tapped her ear. "You have good hearing, but mine is even better. Trust me, you'll understand as you get older."

"You could hear us?" Li poked her sister in the side. "I told you we shouldn't have been whispering!"

"You were whispering too!" Alison poked Li back. "Mom, Li poked me!"

"Yes, and you just poked her back. Besides you're even now although you shouldn't be poking each other at all." Blake cut off the argument before it could escalate. The twins did everything together, but they'd argue about whether water was wet if they got it into their heads to disagree. "You also need to make sure that your camouflage is big enough. Chomp is big, but I could see under him, plus your hair and cat ears were sticking out."

"That's not Chomp's fault," Alison said, putting her arms around the dog. "He did his best."

"Yeah, mom, don't pick on Chomp!" Li scowled, and Blake wondered when exactly she'd criticised the dog. "Although I guess it would have been better if we had a pony or something. Could we get a pony, mom?"

"No." Blake shuddered. The last thing she needed was to have the twins riding around everywhere. "Besides, at the rate he's growing, Chomp might end up that big anyway."

It wasn't true, of course. Chomp probably wouldn't get much bigger than he was now. But the twins didn't know that, and it certainly didn't stop them from staring at Chomp in awe.

"Cool." Li rubbed her hands together in a way that reminded Blake a little too much of Weiss. "Chomp is going to get even bigger. Maybe he'll even get as big as a bear."

Alison shook her head at her twin. "He can't get that big. But that would be cool. Then we could ride him everywhere."

"Anyway," Blake said before the girls could get side tracked by how awesome a giant Chomp would be. "You two need to be more careful. What if I hadn't caught you, Li? You would ended up jumping onto the stove and unlike your mommy, you are not fireproof."

"But I knew you'd catch me, mom." Li jumped at Blake again, and Blake – as she always had – reached out to catch her. "See?"

"Even so, you need to be careful." Part of Blake wanted to point out that she wouldn't always be there to catch her, but she bit back the words. Li didn't need to think about something like that yet. She glanced back at Alison. The little girl was creeping toward a plate of pancakes. "No eating until I say so."

"But it smells so good." Alison nudged Li with her elbow. "Right?"

Li went down, clutching at her side. "Mom, Alison jabbed me!"

"Oh, get up. That didn't hurt." Blake lifted Li back onto her feet. "And that was an elbow. Your mommy already showed you what a real jab looks like." She nodded at the window. "How about you guys take a look outside with Chomp? I know you wanted to go to the park today, but it might be too wet."

"Okay." Alison skipped out of the kitchen with Chomp. "Let's go, Chomp. I'll race you to the door."

The girl raced out of the room with the dog, Li hot on their heels. But Li tripped over one of the chairs in the dining room. She tumbled end over end, and this time Blake wouldn't have blamed her if she really did act hurt – that looked painful. But Li simply flopped onto her back and made gagging noises while grabbing at her head.

"Help!" Li shouted. "I'm down!"

"Oh no." Alison doubled back. Despite all the fun they seemed to have annoying each other, Blake knew they wouldn't hesitate to help each other too. "I think her head exploded, Chomp. We have to get her outside, or she'll die!"

Blake had absolutely no idea how that made sense – but she'd never really had much time to play as a child. They had probably turned it into another game of pretend huntress with Li acting the part of a wounded huntress while Alison was her back up who had to save her. And Chomp… well, he was probably part of the back up too.

The dog dutifully followed Alison back, allowing Li to wrap her arms around his middle before he headed back toward the front door, dragging the younger twin along with him.

"Thanks." Li pressed her face against Chomp's side. He was so strong.

"Go easy on him, girls. Don't make him carry you everywhere." Blake didn't want them taking advantage of Chomp's good nature, but who was she kidding? The dog loved carrying the girls around.

"I hope it's not too wet outside," Alison said. "I really want to go to the park today. I wonder if we could get Luna to come too, and maybe Jason and Xanthia. They could even bring Fluffy."

Fluffy was the Arc family cat – Pyrrha had picked him up as a kitten from an animal shelter. He'd been little more than skin and bones then but had since become quite fluffy, hence his name.

Li made a face. "I don't know. Chomp likes Fluffy, but I don't think Fluffy likes him much."

Blake bit back a chuckle. She could understand the cat's wariness. Chomp might be friendly, but he was huge, and Fluffy – even as an adult – was one of the smallest cats Blake had ever seen, even if he did have a lot of fight in him. That didn't stop the cat from hitching the occasional ride on Chomp's back although he made sure to look as disdainful as possible, something that he'd become very good at from dealing with over-eager toddlers and exuberant children.

X X X

Alison scowled at the yard. If only she had her mommy's Semblance, she could dry it out or at least punch it hard enough to blow it up. How were they supposed to go to the park? It was only raining a tiny bit now, but the ground was all muddy. The park would be even worse. They'd be lucky to take a few steps before drowning in mud.

Her mommy had also forgotten to mow the front yard, which meant that the grass was way too tall. Mixed in with all the mud, water, and puddles, it was like a swamp. But maybe it only looked bad. Maybe it was actually okay. She grabbed an umbrella and gave the ground an experimental poke.

Squish.

Squish.

Okay, it was bad.

"Li, I don't think we can go to the park –"

"Let's play here!" Li shouted.

Alison turned just in time for her sister to run past her and take a flying leap into the grass. Muddy water went everywhere, and Alison gave a wild shriek as it splashed all over her.

"See?" Li asked, splashing about. "We can pretend the front yard is a swamp with monsters and stuff, and we can be the huntresses hunting them. Chomp can be a huntsman. Come on, Chomp, come play!"

Alison had barely managed to wipe the water and mud off her face when the dog rushed out of the house and leapt onto the squidgy lawn as well. More mud and water splashed on her, and Li gave a playful roar before tackling Chomp. The pair rolled across the yard, kicking up water and mud, until Li emerged victorious, striking a heroic pose beside Chomp.

"I win."

"You!" Alison stomped onto the lawn. "You got me all wet!"

Li giggled. "I did. But come on, this is fun." She hopped into a puddle and kicked around the muddy water. "You know it is."

Alison scowled and gave the puddle beside her a kick. Water flew everywhere. Hey, it was pretty fun. Beside Li, Chomp gave her a wag of his tail and nodded at a much bigger puddle nearby. Alison paused.

"Mom might get mad at us…"

"We can have a bath. It'll be fine." Li gave her a thumb's up. "Jump in the puddle."

Alison leapt into the puddle. The splash was the biggest one so far, and it felt great. "You're right, this is fun – gah!"

She reeled back, a clod of mud sticking to her face. Li cackled and grabbed another handful of mud before punching the air and throwing it at her. "I'm mommy – eat fire, jerk!"

"Oh, that's it!" Alison grabbed a handful of mud. "Prepare to die! Don't forget, I'm older than you!"

Li ducked a ball of mud only to run face first into another when she tried to retaliate. "Agh! You're only five minutes older, that's not much!"

"I'm still older!" Alison waved at Chomp. "Chomp, come here. I need cover!"

"No, Chomp!" Li waved her arms around, flinging mud everywhere. "Get over here. I need cover!"

Chomp decided to do the fair thing – he started splashing mud and water at both the twins.

X X X

Yang woke to the feeling of familiar fingers combing through her hair. She sighed and then relaxed, luxuriating in the warmth of the body beside her. Blake always knew exactly how to touch her. It was a Saturday too, which meant they could stay in bed until the house's two resident monsters awakened and emerged from their bedroom in search of food.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself." Yang opened her eyes and gave Blake a lazy grin. It was hard to stay awake – having Blake comb through her hair always left her feeling drowsy yet sated. Blake might be the cat, but she knew how to make Yang purr.

"Have a nice night?" Blake continued to stroke Yang's hair, even as Yang gave her middle an affectionate hug.

"Yes." Yang curled up against Blake. "But it would have been nicer if we'd been able to do anything other than collapse after the week we've had."

"Well, we knew what it was going to be like when we decided to have kids." Blake's lips curled.

They'd spent the week teaching classes and taking missions, and the kids had spent all of Friday evening showing off the lines they'd learned for the play their class would be performing. It was, Yang thought, at least mildly amusing that Luna was playing the part of Red Riding Hood. But she and Blake had taken steps to ensure they got to spend time together. The kids were going to be spending the night at Ruby and Weiss's house. They were even bringing Chomp with them, much to Luna's delight. Even Weiss, tyrant that she was, liked the dog, although she'd never admit to slipping him the occasional biscuit under the table.

"You're right, and it's not like the kids don't come in handy." Yang chuckled and pressed a kiss to Blake's shoulder. "They're always good to have around when I need someone to help me weed the garden."

"You're horrible." Blake chuckled. "Especially when you tell them that weeding the garden will help them develop the strength necessary to be a huntress."

"Hey, Ruby and I had chores, and we turned out okay." Yang sniffed the air. "Wait… is that breakfast I smell?"

Blake's eyes twinkled. "It is."

"That would make you a clone, wouldn't it?" Yang's eye twitched. Blake was getting way too good with clones.

Those lovely amber eyes gleamed, and the clone gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Yes."

Then she vanished.

Yang took a deep breath. Then she growled. "Blake!"

X X X

Blake heard Yang's roar from the kitchen and snickered. Yang liked to paint herself as the mischievous one, but Blake knew how to dish out her fair share of mayhem. And given how hard it was to get Yang out of bed in the morning, this was the perfect solution. Only a few moments passed before the blonde stomped into the kitchen with murder in her eyes.

"You!" Yang glared. Her eyes had changed colour, and flames crackled around her. "Let me tell you something –"

BEEP.

BEEP.

BEEP.

That would be the smoke detector going off.

Blake couldn't help it – she laughed. "Yang… Yang, you have to calm down."

Yang dispelled her Semblance and marched forward, backing Blake up against the counter. The Faunus met her gaze without flinching, amusement evident in the faint smirk on her face. Not at all pleased, Yang put a ferocious scowl on her face and put one hand down on either side of Blake, trapping her against the counter.

"That was a clone upstairs." Yang leaned forward until she was almost kissing Blake. "You left me in bed with a clone."

"I did." Blake stood her ground.

"A clone isn't good enough." Yang's hands drifted from the counter to settle on Blake's hips. "It's supposed to be you in my bed."

The Faunus leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Yang's lips. "Funny, that's not what you say when I have my clones do –"

"Gah!" Yang covered Blake's mouth with one hand. "Can you not bring that up? Anyway, I want you – the real you – back upstairs, right now." She put on her best bedroom eyes, knowing full well the effect they had on her wife. "Now, Blake."

Blake tried to step away, but Yang kept a firm hold of her. "Yang, I'm making breakfast."

"Breakfast?" Yang's stomach gave an ignominious rumble. She sighed and gave Blake a petulant look, her full lips pouting. "I guess I could always ravish you senseless after we eat." She paused and looked past Blake. "Hey, where the kids? Aren't they supposed to be, you know, asking you when we can eat?"

"Normally, yes. But they're outside with Chomp."

"I see. I better go check on them before they do something crazy." Yang took a step toward the dining room and then stopped, eyes filled with fire. "And Blake, you're not off the hook. The next time you cook me breakfast, you're doing it in an apron."

"I'm already wearing an apron."

"Just an apron."

"Ah." Blake pretended to think the matter over. The kids would be at Ruby and Weiss's tomorrow. "I think that can be arranged."

X X X

Yang had loved the kids since she'd first known they existed. Not even Blake's homicidal behaviour during pregnancy could stop her from gushing over every ultrasound and boasting about every kick. And when the twins had finally been born with little tufts of blonde hair, amber eyes, and cat ears – they were perfect, absolutely perfect. Although with her and Blake as parents, why wouldn't they be?

Of course, the twins had soon put her love to the test by doing their absolute best to kill themselves. If they weren't trying to stick their fingers into power points, they were busy trying to fall off things – preferably onto pointy things. After a few close calls, Yang and Blake had toddler-proofed the entire house. Somehow, the girls had managed to survive, and they'd grown up into two five-year-olds who were, somehow, the most aggravating and loveable children that Yang had ever met.

Out of the two of them, Alison was the sensible one. She at least tried to be responsible. Li, however, preferred to simply wade into trouble. It was like being a kid with Ruby again. And, of course, Chomp was there too, the massive dog providing a steadying presence as a guard and friend. The girls lavished attention on him, and the canine was always there to drag them along when they were tired or to take a romp through the park when they had energy to burn.

Right now, however, Yang was having a hard time seeing her children or the dog. But that was sort of her fault. She kept forgetting to mow the grass, and it was almost up to her knees. Never mind – she'd mow it the next chance she got. A splodge of dark, reddish colour amongst all the green caught her eye. Ah, that would be Chomp. Even on his stomach, he was too tall to completely hide. Not too far away, but on opposite sides of him, were two patches of blonde hair.

Yang smirked. If the girls were planning on ambushing her, they were out of luck. She stepped onto the lawn, careful to avoid all of the puddles and mud and ready to grab her kids the moment they attacked.

"Take this!" Li screamed, leaping to her feet and hurling a clod of mud at Alison. "I found you!"

The mud hit Alison right in the head, and she scrambled to get to her feet, hefting some mud to hurl back. "Avenge me, Chomp!"

Yang gaped. Her daughters were absolutely covered in mud. In fact, the patches of blonde hair she'd seen were the only parts of them not drenched in it. Meanwhile, Chomp, loyal as ever, threw himself at the puddle next to Li. The wave of mud splattered all over her.

"Grargh!" Li toppled back. She jabbed one finger at Chomp. "Chomp, you traitor!"

The dog looked absolutely wounded by the accusation. Yang shook her head. That dog was such a softie.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Li wrapped her arms around Chomp. "You're not a traitor." She grinned craftily. "You're a good dog. Just splash Alison too."

Chomp looked at Alison. Alison looked at Chomp. She turned and ran. He jumped. Mud and water went everywhere.

"Gah!" Alison shook one fist. "You'll pay for that!"

Yang watched the whole thing unfold with the practiced calm of a parent well used to watching such idiocy on a regular basis. The only thing missing was Chomp dragging Fluffy into the mix because why not? Every mud fight was more fun with an angry, yowling cat involved. This kind of thing was all in a regular day's work for her and –

Whack.

The whole world screeched to a halt. Silence fell over the front yard. Chomp lowered his head and hid behind Alison whose hand was still outstretched in the act of throwing some mud. In front of her, Li, who had ducked, turned and then froze too.

The mud dripped out of Yang's hair and down the side of her head. Her eye twitched.

"Chomp." Yang tried to wipe the mud out of her hair but only succeeded in spreading it around. "Move, so that I can kill those two."

The dog, giant that he was, took one look at Yang and then moved. He loved the twins, but he wasn't brave enough to step between Yang and them. Yang bent and grabbed two handfuls of mud. The twins stared, their eyes as wide as saucers. Then they turned and ran.

"Get back here!" Yang screamed. "Accept your punishment!"

"Help!" Li screamed. "Mom, help! Mommy is going crazy!"

Alison grabbed her sister and pulled her along. "Stop shouting and run."

X X X

Li and Alison huddled behind a bush.

"Mommy is way too strong." Li was covered in mud.

"Yeah." Alison peeked around the bush. Their mommy was pacing around the front yard like a lion, a ball of mud in each hand. At least Chomp hadn't joined her team. The dog had chosen to watch from near the front door. "I don't think we can win."

"Unless…" Li paused. "Where did we put the secret weapon?"

"It's still in the backyard." Alison took a deep breath. "Try to get it and Chomp. I'll distract mommy."

"But – but you'll get slaughtered!" Li hugged her twin.

"Maybe, but we can't win like this. Mommy is too strong, and mom is still busy making breakfast." Alison reached into her pocket and pulled out a dog biscuit. "Here, it's one of Chomp's favourites. He'll follow you if you give it to him."

"Okay." Li nodded grimly. "Good luck. I hope mommy doesn't kill you too much."

Alison took a deep breath and then leapt out from behind the bush, grabbing a handful of mud as Li made a break for the backyard, waving the dog biscuit at Chomp to try to get him to follow her. A ball of mud rocketed toward Alison's chest, and she threw herself to the ground. But Yang was relentless, and Alison was forced back and back, even diving into a puddle in a desperate attempt to avoid being hit by mud. As yet another ball of mud hurtled over her head, she threw some back, hitting Yang in the stomach, but Yang barely even seemed to notice it as she charged forward.

"It'll take more than some mud to take me down, kiddo!" Yang cackled. "Prepare to meet your doom!"

Alison ran for it. Her mommy was way too good at this kind of thing, and now she was cackling like her Aunt Nora. The only thing scarier would have been if her Aunt Weiss were here and cackling too. She would have been doomed for sure if that happened. But where was Li? Alison dodged another ball of mud and threw one back at her mommy. Her sister should be here by now. She couldn't last much longer and –

That was when she heard it: the sound of victory.

Li had finally arrived. Her twin was riding in the go-kart they'd built a few months ago, and she'd hooked it up to Chomp. The big dog was pulling the vehicle along like it weighed nothing at all, sending mud and water flying everywhere.

"Turn Chomp!" Li shouted as she spun the steering wheel into a sharp turn that sent a spray of muddy water all over their mommy. "Quick, Alison. Jump on!"

Alison leapt into the go-kart behind her sister, holding on for dear life as Li urged Chomp to circle away from their mommy.

"Move, Chomp! We can't let mommy catch us!"

X X X

Yang had to hand it to the girls. They'd put up quite a fight. They'd actually managed to surprise her when Li showed up with the go-kart and Chomp. But she wasn't a huntress for nothing, and she wasn't about to let her kids and her dog beat her in a mud fight. She hadn't lost a mud fight since… well, not since that time she'd made the mistake of throwing mud at Weiss. The heiress had been far too dignified to throw mud back. Instead she'd used her Dust and replied with a mudslide.

"Uh… are you okay?"

She turned and smiled. It was two of their neighbours: a kindly old couple who spent most of their free time gardening or playing scrabble on their front porch. They were good people, and Yang and Blake invited them over for dinner at least once a month. The kids liked them too, and their little terrier was one of Chomp's best friends.

"Yeah, we're just playing around." Yang tilted her head to one side. "Can you guys make it to dinner this Wednesday night?"

"Sure." The old man shrugged. "Just… you've got a lot of mud on you."

"I sure do. The kids have pretty good aim." Yang put her hands on her hips. "They get it from me, you know."

"Right." The old man nodded. "Have a good morning then."

"You too." Yang watched the old couple head back to their house. "Oh, and you guys might want to stay inside for a bit. This could get messy." Her gaze drifted back toward the kids – they were charging toward her in their go-kart again. "Really messy."

X X X

In retrospect, all of the screaming and yelling she'd heard from outside should have been a warning sign. But Blake was just so used to screaming and yelling when it came to Yang and the kids. As long as they were screaming and yelling in excitement and not because someone had severed a limb, it was usually fine.

This time, it was anything but fine.

She froze as her eyes took in the trail of devastation that stretched from the front door to the living room. There was a trail of mud, crumpled grass, and muck, along with muddy paw prints and footprints. Her ears twitched, and she stalked into the living room. Four pairs of eyes immediately turned her way.

The twins, bless their mischievous little hearts, took less than half a second to hide behind their mother. Yang just nudged their dog, as if urging the animal to take the blame. And Chomp? He just looked back at Blake and smiled with the kind smile that only a dog could have. Then he trotted over to her, eager for a scratch or a cuddle. He was, of course, absolutely filthy. Blake held up one hand, and the dog stopped, wagging his tail from side to side.

"Would you believe me if I told you that all of this was Chomp's idea?" Yang asked. Her revenge on the twins had degenerated into a playful skirmish with all four of them – she had to count Chomp too – rolling around in the mud. Yang could proudly say that she'd emerged victorious. Alison, Li, and Chomp had all been forced to acknowledge her awesomeness.

"Oh no, you do not get to pin this on the dog." Blake shook her head. "I know Chomp. He only does what you tell him to do, so I don't blame him at all." She scowled. "All of you, get moving, now. You need a bath." She paused. "Actually, don't do that. You're all covered in mud. We need to get some of that off first before you scatter it all over the house."

"But how are we going to get it off if we don't have a bath?" Li asked. "And it's not raining anymore either."

Blake simply summoned a few clones to start cleaning up the mess while she shepherded them outside. Once they were all outside, and a safe distance from the house, she grabbed a hose.

"Blake… put down that hose." Yang frowned. "Put it down right – gah!"

The stream of water cut Yang off mid-sentence. The blonde continued to try and shout threats, but Blake contented herself with holding a book in one hand and holding the hose in the other. All of Yang's yelling and the girls shrieking actually made for quite an interesting soundtrack. The only one enjoying things as much as Blake was Chomp – the dog was only too happy to bound around under the water.

When she was finally satisfied that they were sufficiently clean, she turned off the hose. Then she started to laugh. Her wife and kids looked like a trio of wet cats – the twins even had the cat ears for it.

"All right, you guys, hit the showers. Chomp, come with me." As Yang headed off to their shower, Blake created one clone to go with her and another to go with the kids. In the meantime, she got Chomp dried off and settled down on some towels near the fireplace in the living room.

Getting the twins cleaned off was another exercise in patience as they squabbled over who should go first. Her clone solved that issue by dumping them in the shower together. Naturally, the two girls had to make as big a fuss of things as possible, acting like the water was made of acid and flailing around until her clone was finally forced to get in there and hold them still before they slipped or whacked each other over the head.

Yang, however, ended up with the real Blake – at least, that's what she thought.

"So…" Yang adjusted the shower taps and beckoned Blake forward. "Will you be joining me? If you do, I might just forgive you for spraying me with a hose."

"I suppose I could." Blake stepped forward, joining Yang in the shower. "But that would be rewarding your bad behaviour." Her hands settled on Yang's hips. "Don't you think?"

"I thought you like it when I'm bad?" Yang reached for Blake's clothes. Honestly, only Blake could look so sexy standing in a shower with all of her clothes still on.

"I do." Blake leaned forward and whispered into Yang's ear as she reached past Yang. "I'm going to make you scream."

"Really? I'd like that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Blake turned the shower taps, turning the warm shower into a very, very cold shower.

Yang's shriek became a roar as Blake vanished in a cloud of aura.

"Blake!"

X X X

Downstairs, the real Blake gave Chomp a pat on the head and took another sip of her hot chocolate.

"I told you I'd make you scream, Yang."

X X X

Omake: Grownups Are Cheaters

Luna loved to play tag. Running around was heaps of fun, and she was really fast too – not even the twins were as fast as her. But playing tag with her parents was lame. They always cheated.

"Mommy!" Luna waved her arms around. "You can't use your Semblance when we play tag! It's cheating!"

The silver-eyed huntress reappeared on the opposite side of their front lawn amidst a cloud of rose petals and winced. Not far away, one of the gardeners stifled a chuckle. He'd seen this before. "Oh yeah. Oops."

"You always do that, mommy." Luna ran as fast as she could to try and catch up. But they had a very big lawn. "It's not fair. You have to run like a normal person."

"Uh, sure." Ruby shrugged. It would be tough slowing herself down so much, but Luna did have a point. Using her Semblance against a child was kind of cheating. But it wasn't like she'd planned on using her Semblance. She'd spent most of her adult life fighting against monsters and people that could – and would – do some serious damage if they ever landed a clean blow. Nowadays, using her Semblance was something she did almost without thinking. "You know what, how about you ask your mom to play tag with you?"

Five minutes later…

"Mom!" Luna wailed. "You can't use glyphs to go faster and fly through the air! That's… that's super cheating!"

Weiss made a face. Using glyphs to enhance her speed and mobility was second nature to her now. A huntress used whatever advantages she had in battle, and she was married to the most ridiculously fast person in the world. "I suppose. How about we try again? I'll do my best not to use them."

Luna's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You and mommy are both cheaters. I'm just a kid, so why do you have to use your powers against me and stuff?" She scowled. "Maybe when I get powers, but not until then!"

"Well, your mommy and I aren't using our powers because we want to cheat. But after a while, you do get used to using them whenever you're in anything that even remotely resembles combat." Weiss spotted a familiar figure leaping over their fence, much to the dismay of her security guards. "How about you play with your Aunt Blake?"

Leaving Blake with Luna for a few minutes would also give Weiss the time she needed to skim over some of the more esoteric references Blake had sent her with regards to some of her new reform proposals. Honestly, it was like the Faunus made a habit of citing the most obscure texts possible.

Five minutes later…

"Clones are mega cheating!" Luna chased after what she hoped was the real Blake. Grownups were horrible! They were always telling her to behave and stuff when all they did was cheat! Her mommy, her mom, even her Aunt Blake – they were all cheaters!

Blake sighed and dispelled her clones – one of which Luna was chasing. Perhaps she shouldn't have created half a dozen clones to throw Luna off, but she was used to playing with the twins. With those two, she needed every single clone to keep them occupied while she tried to work out a way to sneak vegetables into their dinner.

"I'm sorry. It is a little unfair to use clones." Blake bit back a grin. Luna was so cute when she was trying to use the patented Schnee glare. Unfortunately for Luna, Blake wasn't the least bit intimidated by the Schnee glare – especially when it was coming from a five-year-old. "How about…" She trailed off, spotting a redhead coming through the gate. "How about you ask your Aunt Pyrrha to play with you? I have to talk to your mom for a second."

Five minutes later…

"And that's why they're all cheaters." Luna hugged her Aunt Pyrrha as tightly as she could. "I hope you're not a cheater too."

"That does sound rather unfair." Pyrrha patted Luna on the head and then knelt down so that they could look each other in the eye. "How about you ask all of them to play tag again? But this time, I'll help you."

"You will?" Luna's eyes lit up. Her Aunt Pyrrha was the best. "You mean it?"

"I promise." Pyrrha held out her hand. "We can even shake on it."

"No. It has to be a pinkie swear." Luna nodded firmly. "That's how kids do it."

"I see." Pyrrha's lips twitched. "Well then, I'd better pinkie swear."

The two locked pinkies, and Luna smirked. She had to do better this time – she had her Aunt Pyrrha on her team, and her Aunt Pyrrha was awesome. She even had her own kind of cereal.

"So, how are you going to help me?" Luna swung her arms around. "Are you going to throw metal at them to slow them down?" Luna cackled – a sound that reminded Pyrrha a little too much of Weiss – as she imagined all of the cheaters being pelted by an assortment of tin cans.

"Not exactly." Pyrra tilted her head to one side. "You don't get motion sick easily, do you?"

"No. Mommy says I must get it from her since I never get motion sick. I don't even throw up when I teleport with mommy."

"Perfect." Pyrrha waved Luna closer. "Here's what we'll do. First, you need to go back inside and get me some things…"

Five minutes later…

The distinct lack of noise coming from the front lawn had Weiss, Ruby, and Blake coming outside to investigate. Either something had gone horribly wrong – unlikely with Pyrrha around – or Luna was plotting. Judging from the gardener who was doing his best to pretend that he was working and not watching what was about to happen, it was probably the latter.

"Let's play tag again!"

The three huntresses all stopped and stared as Luna floated through the air toward them. Her whole body was wrapped in tin cans that had somehow been bent and folded into the right shape.

"Uh… since when can our daughter fly?" Ruby asked. "Because it's pretty awesome that she can."

Weiss sighed and tried to slap her upside the head. Naturally, Ruby dodged without even looking. "Ruby, our daughter can't fly. Pyrrha must be using her Semblance to levitate her. That would also explain how she managed to wrap herself in tin cans."

And, sure enough, the other huntress was crouched in the bushes beside the gardener, one hand extended toward Luna.

"Get ready!" Luna struck her best flying pose. "Here I come!"

And then the chase was on as the little girl shot through the air toward them. The trio immediately went in three different directions. Ruby blurred toward the other side of the lawn as Blake leapt away surrounded by half a dozen clones. Weiss, meanwhile, opted to dart backward before using a series of glyphs to launch herself away – only for Luna to keep up with her, arms extended in a classic flying pose.

"Tag!" Luna screamed, tapping Weiss on the shoulder and then wheeling up into the air, courtesy of Pyrrha. "You're it, mom."

Weiss growled. It was easy to forget just how quickly Pyrrha could move things with her Semblance. But she was not about to lose, even if this was only a game of tag. Luna might be keeping a safe distance in the air, but Ruby wasn't far. Weiss lunged after her wife. Ruby dodged, but Weiss was counting on that, creating a field of glyphs to try and pin Ruby in place while she created more to fling her at the other woman.

"Tag, Ruby!" Weiss smirked at the shock on Ruby's face. It wasn't often that someone managed to catch her. "You're it."

Ruby put her hands on her hips. "Oh, so that's how it is. I get it." The air was suddenly filled with rose petals, and she vanished from sight. "It's on!"

X X X

Author's Notes

As always, I don't own RWBY, nor am I making any money off of this.

So, here's the second chapter. You'll notice that this chapter is a little shorter than the first one although it still weighs in at a pretty considerable 9000 words. My policy on chapters has always been to make them as long as I feel they need to be. I also think it might be better, at least for this story, to have a smaller number of bigger chapters, as opposed to lots of little ones.

After last chapter's warm and fuzzy introduction to Ruby, Weiss, and Luna, I thought I'd give you guys a glimpse of life with Yang, Blake, and the twins (and Chomp). I didn't name the twins in the last chapter, so I'm going to take a moment here to explain where their names came from. And, just as a reminder, both the twins have blonde hair, amber eyes, cat ears, and are five years old.

Alison is the older of the twins (if only by five minutes). I chose her name for several reasons. As strange as it may sound, Alison can actually function both as a girl's name (the common usage), but also as a boy's name. Depending on what source you use, the name can mean several things: noble or exalted (Old German), light of the sun (Old English), and son of all (various).

The meaning that interests me is the Old English one (light of the sun). Blake is also an Old English name (meaning black), so the two names share a common origin. Light of the sun is also a none-too-subtle reference to the meaning of Yang's name (little dragon of the light or small dragon of the sun). Alison's name thus combines aspects of both her parents' names.

Choosing Li as a name was a bit more difficult. But based on what I've read, it is a Chinese name, and it can mean several things (depending on the characters used to write it): beautiful, strength or power, dawn or black. The meaning I'm after is the third one (dawn or black) since it references both Blake (black) and Yang (dawn). It also links nicely to Alison's name, either in a matching way (dawn) or a contrasting way (black). I also wanted a Chinese name to go with Yang's (since Alison is Old English).

Anyway, as you can see from this chapter, Blake and Yang live a somewhat interesting version of the suburban dream. They have a nice house with a big lawn. They even have a dog. Of course, the dog is bigger than they are, and it isn't all that unusual for Yang and the kids to engage in a small-scale war on the front lawn, much to the bemusement of their neighbours. Blake, of course, has learned to take all of this in her stride, but she's not above some teasing of her own. And what better way to tease Yang than by messing with the shower and then disappearing? As for the twins – with Yang and Blake as their parents, they were bound to turn out at least a little weird. And for those of you questioning Yang getting into a mud fight – this is a woman who once used poultry instead of gloves in a food fight.

During this chapter, I again referred to Jaune and Pyrrha's children (Jason and Xanthia), as well as their cat (Fluffy). At this stage, however, I haven't talked about Ren and Nora's child/children. The reason for that is very simple: I haven't decided what I'm going to do about them just yet. So, in the spirit of letting you guys get involved, I'm currently open to suggestions about how many children they should have, what gender those children should be, and even what names those children should be given. So if you've got any suggestions, let me know!

Oh, and about the omake… I hope you guys enjoyed it. It's not easy playing tag with a bunch of huntresses, so it's a good thing that Aunt Pyrrha is there to save the day! Go Pyrrha. But, seriously, I think Pyrrha has exactly the kind of personality that wouldn't mind helping Luna out, and you can bet that her kids have gotten to fly around too.

Finally, I also write original fiction, mostly fantasy. I've recently released my newest original story on Amazon. It's called Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf. If you have enjoyed my more light-hearted and humorous stories, you will absolutely love this one. Trust me. It's a fantasy with plenty of humour, warmth, action, and a healthy dose of craziness (the kind you've come to expect from me). You can find links to it in my profile. Here's the blurb:

Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf – it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy.

Timothy Walter Bolton – better known as Timmy – has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.

But that's easier said than done. He's a wanted criminal with no shortage of powerful (and crazy) enemies, and he has a bone or two to pick with the Everton Council of Mages.

Hope arrives in the form of a new law. War is coming to Everton, and the Council is desperate. In exchange for providing some help, Timmy might just earn that pardon he's been looking for. Of course, just because it's possible to earn a pardon doesn't mean that it's going to be easy.

To earn his pardon, Timmy is going to have to take down some of Everton's most dangerous enemies and put together a quirky group of unconventional heroes, most of whom want nothing more than to mangle him and/or the Council in as vicious a way as possible. It's a good thing that he's got some help: an obnoxious ten-year-old apprentice who thinks that pink glasses are appropriate for a budding necromancer and a bumbling bureaucrat who may or may not make it through their first real fight without puking his guts up.

Wonderful.

Still, Timmy's never been one to back down from a challenge even if their first recruit is basically the elf version of the bogeyman.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.