The next chapter! I hope you like it and please let me know what you think, that would be great! I'd love to hear your thoughts to this.

I don't own the characters or places!

Sirius

Later that evening, we were all sitting or lying on our beds in the small chamber. Ron looked like he was going to be asleep soon, while Harry was staring at the ceiling thoughtfully and Hermione was skipping through the Tales of Beedle the Bard.

My conversation with Moony was still on my mind. The concerned look on his face made me worry as well. Was our plan to get into Gringotts too risky? Nevertheless, we didn't have a choice. If there really was a Horcrux in there, we had to get and destroy it. Otherwise, no one would survive this war. And that's what it was all about.

Ending the war. Killing Voldemort. Saving the world.

Do what you have to do. But my boy will get to know his uncle and godfather. I will not tell him that they fell in the war. Understood? Remus' voice echoed through my mind. I always knew that he wanted us to be careful, but now things were different. I knew that Remus wanted to make sure someone could look after Teddy if something happened to Tonks or himself. And he wanted it to be Harry or me. The responsibility his words placed on me was weighing heavily on my shoulders.

And I didn't like the fact that Remus thought something might happen to him or Tonks at all. If there was going to be a final battle against the Death Eaters, which was to be expected, they would fight with the Order. And risk their lives. I hated that everyone I loved would be in danger.

But was it any different right now? Remus had been on missions for the Order in the past months, and Harry, Ron and Hermione…

Suddenly, someone took my hand and squeezed it. I looked up to see Hermione's worried expression. She'd put the book aside and was kneeling in front of me now. She didn't say anything, but just raised her eyebrows slowly.

I shook my head and smiled slightly to show her that everything was alright. When she narrowed her eyes, I knew that I couldn't fool her.

To avoid a conversation about my feelings, I turned to Harry, who was still awake. "Bill wanted to talk to you alone earlier." I remarked quietly and Harry sat up in his bed. He blinked a few times, before he realized that I'd really been addressing him.

"What did he want?" Hermione asked immediately, though her glance told me that I couldn't avoid the subject forever.

"Oh not much. Just warn me that we shouldn't make a deal with goblins." Harry murmured. "He said that for goblins, the rightful owner of an object is the one who made it, not the one who bought it. He said we shouldn't promise Griphook anything, it's too dangerous." He laughed dryly. "He said it wouldn't be as risky to break into Gringotts than to promise something to a goblin."

"So nothing we didn't already know." Ron muttered from his bed. His eyes were still closed, and he looked more asleep than anything else, but apparently, he'd listened to our conversation.

"Not really." Harry agreed.

"And he just took you aside to tell you that?" Hermione wanted to know.

Harry nodded. "I don't really know if he expected us to trust Griphook."

"Not with Sirius around." Ron groaned when he sat up to look at us. He yawned. "Everyone knows that Sirius doesn't trust anyone except for us and Remus."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "How do you know that?"

"I heard Bill and Kingsley talk about you when I was here for Christmas. They thought I was still asleep and when I heard your name, I just had to know what they were saying." He shrugged. "Kingsley was upset that you didn't tell them what we were doing this whole time. And then Bill said that he'd already expected you to remain silent. After all, you never gave away any secrets. And you didn't really trust anyone who's not very close to you. Which meant no one except for Remus and us."

"Bill's very observant." Hermione noticed. "Did you see him often when you were at Remus' place?"

I shook my head. "Not really. Mostly, the three of us were alone. And Kingsley showed up from time to time." I smiled slightly. "To convince me that it would be better if I told the Order everything about our mission."

"I thought they gave up that idea before the wedding." Harry remarked.

"Since we were separated, they thought that it would be easier to help you if they knew everything." I explained. "Everyone was looking for sings of you in those past months."

"Without success." Ron muttered. "Without the Deluminator, even I wouldn't have been able to find you."

"Which is good." I stressed. "Otherwise, the Death Eaters could have found you as well." Even if I didn't like it, I had to admit that it was better that no one had been able to find them in the past months.

"Dobby found us." Harry threw in.

"The magic of house-elves works different." Hermione explained immediately. "So it wasn't a surprise that he could find us, once someone asked him to do so."

"But then others could have found us as well." Harry said thoughtfully.

"You-Know-Who would never ask house-elves to look for you." I ran a hand through my hair. "He doesn't take other magical creatures seriously."

"Point for us, then." Ron grinned. "After all, he helped us to escape."

"And Sirius." Hermione added immediately.

I laughed. "Dobby insisted for me to help. I bet he could have done that alone as well."

"I'm not so sure about that." Harry muttered. "Remember our second year at Hogwarts, when Dobby tried to help me?"

For some time, they were lost in memories of their time at Hogwarts. Even if I'd heard parts of it before, they told me everything about Dobby's attempts to save Harry. In the end, we were all laughing. For now, some of the tension was lifted.

However, when we all closed our eyes to get some sleep, I knew that it wouldn't last long.

Two days later, I found myself sitting in the grass outside of the house alone. I looked at the waves of the ocean and enjoyed the wind in my face. It was going to rain soon, but I didn't care. After all this time in the house, I needed some time for myself.

It was good to have everyone around, but slowly it was getting tiring. Luna, Dean and Ollivander were going to leave in a few days, and most probably, we would leave in about a week's time. Then Bill and Fleur would be alone again. I bet they liked that thought, even if they would never admit it. Sometimes, when they thought that they were alone, I could hear Bill and Fleur talking. Then she always complained about having so many people there and how exhausting everything was. Every time, Bill tried to calm her down, but I knew that it wasn't that easy.

I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift back to the past days of planning with Griphook. It was true, he wanted the sword of Gryffindor. Harry told him that he could have it, but not when. It was a dangerous game; we all knew that. However, we didn't have another possibility. We needed Griphook and his help.

The worst part of our plan was Hermione turning into Bellatrix. The thought alone made me want to throw up. And I knew that Harry and Ron didn't like it as well. Nevertheless, they could at least accept it, while I had to use every inch of self-control not to argue with her again. Because we had been arguing, when she first offered to do it. Ever since, we didn't talk about it anymore. And every time she tried to be alone with me, I left.

I knew that I was acting stupid, but I didn't want to face that topic again. Or everything else she wanted to talk about. Because this was all about feelings and I've been locking them away in those past months.

Yes, I was happy and relieved to have them all back, but there was still fear. After all, I knew how it felt to lose them now. And there was a big risk that not all of us survived this war.

Knowing that it would only make me feel worse if I kept thinking about it, I stood up and walked towards the ocean slowly. James would have loved it here, I knew that. He'd always loved the ocean, even if he didn't get many chances to see it.

And I got too many chances to hear the waves crashing down on the shores of Azkaban. However, this was different. I was free now. The bad memories didn't come back so easily. Unlike the first time I heard the waves, back when I was on the run with Buckbeak. It had been terrifying, and I avoided the sea for some time after that.

I thought of James again. Of the last time I've seen him, together with Lily and Harry. Even if everything had been difficult and dangerous back then, they've been happy. Harry looked like James, except for the eyes. He had Lily's eyes.

I swallowed and tried to push aside how much I missed them.

At least I still had Remus. And he had a family now on his own. Uncle Sirius and godfather Harry. It sounded so strange. I never thought that I would get a chance to have a real family. Except for being Harry's godfather, of course. And here we were, even in those dark times.

Because of the wind, I heard the footsteps behind my back only when they'd nearly reached me. A look over my shoulder told me that it was Hermione. She was smiling, but there was an anxious look on her face.

She stopped next to me and for some time, we both just watched the waves in silence.

"You've been out here for quite some time and I was getting worried." Hermione said finally. "I've never seen you this quiet before, and I would love to know what's wrong."

I looked at her concerned face and smiled slightly. "Everything's fine." As soon as I said it, her eyes narrowed. "Alright, maybe there's a lot on my mind. But otherwise, it's really fine."

"Will you tell me what's bothering you? Maybe it'll make it easier." She took my hand carefully.

"I'm just worried, like everyone else." Maybe not just worried, but how else could I explain it?

"If you were just worried like the rest of us, you'd not be this quiet. I know you, Sirius. And even Harry and Ron noticed that you're behaving differently ever since we came here." She was looking impatient now. Hermione hated riddles she couldn't solve.

I sighed and sat down in the grass. With a frown on her face, Hermione did the same. "Sirius?" She asked when I didn't answer her questions right away. "You can tell me everything. Especially when something's wrong."

"I thought I lost you." I muttered. "For months, I didn't hear a single word from all of you. And now that I've got you back, it made me think of what I must do to make sure that it won't happen again. Because I know that I can't stand it a second time." Her eyes were wide now, but she didn't say anything. "The realization that I can't do anything about it hit me a few days ago, when Remus was here."

"It won't happen again. This time, we'll all stay together." Hermione tried to ensure me immediately, but we both knew that it was a lie. No one could know what might happen.

"Remus wants Harry and me to look after Teddy when something happens to him and Tonks." I told her and avoided to meet her sad gaze.

"So that's what made you so upset." She whispered. "Before Remus was here, everything seemed to be alright."

I nodded. "Remus and Tonks will also fight in this war. Just like everyone else we know. And we will lose people again." I breathed in deeply. "I've lost so many people in my life, you should think that it gets easier. But it doesn't."

To my surprise, Hermione wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly. "We'll win this war." Her tone made it clear that she really believed it.

I kissed her cheek. "I trust Harry." I agreed. "But at what costs?"

"You can't change anything, Sirius. We're all part of this fight. And we all make our own decisions, even if some of us might not make it." Her voice was soft now, but it was shaking slightly. I knew that it also wasn't easy for her or the others. "Back at the Ministry, you also made a choice. You gave us the chance to escape, even if you could lose your life."

I smiled slightly. "It's not fair to argue like this."

She chuckled. "Somehow, I've got to convince you that not everything's your fault." She sighed. "In this point, you're just like Harry. He also wants to take the responsibility for everything that happens."

I sighed. "James was also like this. Always thinking that he was responsible for everything and everyone. Probably it rubbed off on me." I tried to joke, but she remained serious.

"Most likely." She muttered and closed her eyes. "We should get inside again soon, the others want to go on planning. And we can't do it without you."

"I think they can continue without us." I muttered, not wanting to go back yet.

"You know that it's not true. From all of us, you know the most about Bellatrix. And it's essential to get inside."

I groaned. "I hate this plan." I complained again, but only half-heartedly. I've given up the fight days ago.

"Come on, let's get back." Hermione stood up and held out her hand. With a sigh, I stood up and took it. We went back towards the house slowly when I heard something. The wind was still loud in my ears, but I could still hear more than most others. So I noticed the quiet pop, even if Hermione didn't.

And that's also why I saw the figure not too far away from us and the house first. With a curse, I stopped Hermione and drew my wand. "Stay here." I barked and walked towards the person quickly.

I heard Hermione's protests behind my back, but I ignored them. I knew that she was following me, but there was a distance between us. Enough to let me reach the person first. It was a man and he was wearing a long, dark cloak.

When I got closer, I saw Kingsley's face. His eyes widened in surprise when he recognized me, but then my wand was already at his chest. Knowing the procedure, he didn't say a word. But I noticed that his wand was on my chest as well. I raised my eyebrows silently.

"The last words you said to me." I said calmly and his lips twitched.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. But I think you're in this alone." He repeated his last words before I left Remus' place with Dobby. I nodded but didn't lower my wand. After all, he was still threatening me.

"One evening, we were talking about fate and the future. You told me something I didn't like at all." Kingsley said now and I knew exactly what he meant. One night, he'd visited us at Remus' place. We've been talking for hours, but Tonks wasn't feeling well, so Remus went upstairs with her, which left Kingsley and me alone. Then he'd changed the subject immediately, wanting to talk about Harry and the others alone.

"I told you that you could do absolutely nothing to help Harry and the others. And that you could ask as often as you want, but I wouldn't tell you anything." I smiled slightly. "But what you didn't like in the slightest was that I would sacrifice my life for them without thinking twice. Because no one needs me, and I wouldn't be missed for a long time." My last words were barely a whisper and I hoped that Hermione didn't hear us. However, the sharp intake of breath behind my back told me otherwise.

Finally, we both put down our wands and hugged each other. "It's good to see you, Sirius." Kingsley grinned and turned to Hermione, who was still looking at us wide-eyed. Or looking at me, to be more exact. She forced a smile on her lips when she greeted Kingsley.

From the house, I could hear voices, and soon Harry and Bill had joined us. They also greeted Kingsley and together, we went inside. Hermione and I entered the house last and I stopped her before we could join the others in the living area. "I'm sorry, I didn't want you to hear that." I whispered.

"You know that it's not true." She muttered, avoiding looking me in the eyes. "Harry would miss you. And Remus. And I would miss you too."

I took her face in my hands and forced her to look at me. "I know, love. But back then, I've had a really bad time." I tried to explain it. "You were gone, and we knew absolutely nothing, and it was driving me crazy."

"You would give your life to save us again." She said after looking at me for a few moments in silence. It wasn't a question.

I sighed and kissed her quickly. "Let's not think about that." I took her hand and led her to the others, who were already sitting. Fleur was just bringing tea, but Kingsley declined politely.

"I won't stay here for long, I just came to tell you some news." He explained.

"What news?" I asked immediately and sat down on the couch next to Harry.

"Something happened, didn't it?" Harry asked slowly.

"A few members of the Order vanished last night." Kingsley told us.

"Someone we know?" Hermione asked anxiously and I squeezed her hand. The others were looking alarmed as well.

"Elphias Doge is on the run." Kingsley began. "He's been able to escape when the Death Eaters showed up at his home, a neighbor saw it." Next to me, Harry relaxed. "However, we don't know about a few others." He told us the names, however I didn't know any of them personally. Only Bill knew a young man, Sam Blackwell. They'd worked together a few years ago, right before the Triwizard Tournament.

"And no one can contact Mundungus anymore." Kingsley finished his explanations.

"I thought he vanished months ago." I threw in, remembering my encounter with him at the pub. And then Harry's departure from Number Four, Privet Drive.

"He did, but until recently, someone saw him from time to time. Now it seems like he's gone completely." Kingsley said.

"Doesn't have to mean anything." I muttered. "Vanishing is one of his talents."

Next to me, Harry nodded darkly.

Kingsley sighed. "We all know that, but it's disturbing either way."

"Probably he's hiding in some dirty hole." Bill muttered. "He'll show up again when everything's over."

"Don't worry about him too much." Harry agreed.

"We'll keep looking for him." Kingsley said when he stood up. Bill accompanied him outside, while we stayed in the living room, thinking of those who vanished.

After a few minutes, Harry looked at us questioningly and we all stood up to go on planning with Griphook. We needed to act fast now.

About a week later, we decided that we were ready for our trip to Gringotts. Hermione would go as Bellatrix Lestrange (after she drank the Polyjuice Potion, I couldn't look at her anymore), Ron would be a foreign Death Eater accompanying her, and Harry would hide under his Invisibility Cloak with Griphook. I would take my own cloak.

Of course everything ended in disaster. We got in, were identified as thieves, Griphook betrayed us and took the sword, and we had to escape on a dragon. However, we were able to get the Horcrux right before we left the vault.

But how could we destroy it without the sword of Gryffindor?

Some last words to this chapter. I think you've noticed that I didn't want to rewrite the whole trip to Gringotts, I hope you don't mind that. But I think we all know what happened there, and that Sirius being there wouldn't have made much of a difference, don't we?