"It seemed to me that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane."
-Wonko the Sane: So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish (Douglas Adams)

The warm scent of freshly baked cookies wafted through the air, revealing in their simple existence the true depth of Miss Martian's commitment to good cooking. More than once, Kid Flash had been drawn to it, only to be turned away with a good-natured scolding.

"They're not ready yet," Miss Martian would tell him, holding back laughter.

"They smell ready to me," was his reply, though he would immediately run off, only to return a few minutes later to get the same message again.

"I'll tell you when they're done, okay?"

Whatever his faults, Kid Flash was a dedicated and appreciative customer, a very satisfying person to cook for. Everyone else would try what she was baking and be politely enthusiastic, but they were far from being the food fanatic that Kid Flash was.

Before Miss Martian could announce that the cookies were done, Kid Flash came running.

"They done yet?" he had come in behind her and she was startled to see him as she turned around.

So startled she dropped the tray. Kid Flash, seeing the cookies' peril, darted forward quickly and snatched the tray out of the air. A moment later, he dropped it on the counter and shook first one hand then the other. The cookie sheet was hot.

"Yes," Miss Martian said, for the entire incident had taken place in the blink of an eye, "they're done. But, as you may have noticed, they're a little hot."

"I did notice that," Kid Flash replied meekly, fussing with his burned fingers.

The pain would diminish momentarily. Part of having a fast metabolism was also having a rapid recovery period. Something as minor as a burn would be gone in no time at all. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt right now.

"You shouldn't go running around the cave all the time," Miss Martian admonished, "You might break something. Besides yourself, I mean."

"I'm careful," Kid Flash said defensively, but darted an uneasy glance towards the cookie sheet.

He was not oblivious of the fact that his abrupt entrance was what had caused Miss Martian to drop the tray. He knew it, but he didn't have to like it. And he really didn't like being called on it.

Miss Martian put disbelieving hands on her hips, but Kid Flash didn't wait for her to say anything. Instead, he snatched several cookies off the sheet and went galloping out of the kitchen.

Miss Martian had barely turned to the remaining dough, intending to put it on sheets and bake them when there were a series of noises which brought her out of the kitchen and into the training area at a run. A yelling, followed by a series of crashes, ending with a ferocious yowl that sounded more like a wildcat than anything, all hinted at disaster.

The scene had already been set when Miss Martian arrived, but to fully appreciate what happened, it takes a play by play. It turned out that Miss Martian's prediction had come true sooner than she had ever imagined. And in a very different way than she might have thought.

Aqualad and Superboy had been in the middle of sparring with one another under supervision of Black Canary. Robin and Artemis had been looking on with thinly veiled awe. Merely humans, they had none of the impressive powers of Aqualad or Superboy, though there was a running joke among them that Robin could probably kick all of their tails; it was a joke which they knew to have at least a grain of truth. It wasn't about his abilities, there was just something which made the Boy Wonder seem totally indestructible.

The joke would never be told again.

When Kid Flash careened into the room, he wasn't watching where he was going. He landed in a puddle left by one of Aqualad's attacks, and slipped. Superboy had just been rearranging himself for another go at Aqualad (who was currently winning). His frustration had made him somewhat careless, and he had unevenly distributed his weight. As a result, when Kid Flash plowed into him, KF's momentum propelled them both across the room and right towards the audience of Artemis and Robin.

"Look out!" Robin shoved Artemis hard and then took to the air, intending to flip over the metal railing around the sparring area and out of harm's way.

Robin was fast, but not fast enough. Superboy fell back against the railing, pinning Robin's right arm ever so briefly, barely even a blink. Robin went absolutely ballistic. It was he did the yowling. He kicked out, striking wild without even thinking. Superboy would later recall with some surprise that it actually hurt when Robin hit him.

Robin had been caught as he was going over the railing, so it was hard to say whether it was the impact itself or his own weight as he tried to twist free in that fraction of a second which caused the bone to break. All he knew for sure was that there had been an awful snap sound and he was in severe pain. For a moment, his mind went utterly blank and he was left only with the instincts to defend himself. Had he been left with any other kind of sense, he wouldn't have bothered lashing out. One, because Superboy wasn't going to be moved by it and two because Superboy wasn't attacking him.

Meanwhile, in that same beat, Kid Flash's momentum caused him to flip right past Superboy, who was headed for the floor even as KF went under the railing and all the way to the opposite wall, which he crashed into before falling flat,and lying dazed, staring at the ceiling, which seemed to be doing some kind of jig.

Nobody quite knew what had happened. It had all happened so fast. All Kid Flash knew was that his head hurt and the ceiling ought not be doing the shuffle as seemed to be the case. All Superboy knew was that something fast and yellow had blasted into him and knocked him over. All Artemis knew was that Robin hit like a linebacker. Everybody else mostly knew that suddenly half of them were lying around on the floor like a bunch of Legos.

Superboy sat up, looking around. He spotted Kid Flash and glared. He knew what had hit him now. But it looked to him like Kid Flash had taken the brunt of the injuries, with Superboy having only wounded pride and lost dignity to show for the escapade. He rolled his shoulders experimentally, then got up.

Artemis came next, sitting up slowly and dusting herself off, wincing when she moved her right shoulder, which was where Robin had struck her in pushing her clear. She did not begrudge this, there'd been no time for delicacy. After all, she could have been crushed, and that was a far more dire prospect.

"Is everyone alright?" Black Canary asked after a breath, looking from one person to the next.

There were scattered mutterings as the Team began to absorb the shock, recognizing that it had been a mere accident and that they were in no danger, their heightened adrenaline had nowhere to go, leaving them shaken and more than a little antsy, but mostly unhurt.

"I'm okay," Kid Flash announced definitively, "Miss M's cookies, on the other hand-" he broke off abruptly "Rob, you okay?"

"Yeah," Robin's voice betrayed him, for it was little more than a gasp, so he said nothing further.

He'd sat up, but his eyes were shut as though against pain, his knees were drawn up protectively and his right arm was carefully tucked behind them and to his chest. He bit his lower lip and drew in steadying breaths, trying not to wince too obviously.

"You don't look okay," Artemis observed.

"Just broke my arm is all," Robin sounded like he meant that to be reassuring, like it wasn't a big deal, "I'll be fine."

"Let me see," Black Canary was at his side at once, and Robin didn't protest, though he did yelp involuntarily when she found the spot where the break was.

"Aw, Rob. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry," Kid Flash said miserably, "I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm really sorry, I should have been-"

"KF, stop," Robin interrupted, forcing his eyes open so he could look directly at Kid Flash, "It's fine. Just drop it, okay? Accidents happen."

"Ones that break your friend's arm?" Kid Flash asked.

"Perils of being your friend," Robin said cheerfully, trying unsuccessfully to find a smile.

"Thanks," Kid Flash sighed unhappily.

"Hey, nobody expects you to watch where you're going all the time," Robin assured him gently, "One could argue this is my fault. I saw it coming, but didn't get out of the way as fast as I should have."

"You weren't the one running through a room with water on the floor," Kid Flash retorted, a little more hotly than intended.

He didn't want Robin to make him feel better. He wanted to feel guilty, and Robin wasn't helping him do that. Robin was a good friend, would have done almost anything for KF if asked. But the one thing he would not do was help Kid Flash wallow in guilt.

"Alright, let's get you up," Black Canary said after a moment, taking Robin's good arm at the wrist and elbow, which was an awkward position for her.

Even on his feet, Robin was far shorter than she was and she found herself having to be careful not to just yank him off the floor altogether. She wondered which one of them was more deserving of a bird-related monicker; Robin hardly seemed to weigh more than a feather.

"Stop it," he hissed at her, seeing the look in her eyes.

"Stop what?" Black Canary asked, baffled.

"Stop looking at me like that," he jerked his arm away from her, "I am not some helpless child. And don't you dare start treating me like one."

She realized her mistake. She'd felt pain at seeing Robin hurt, and allowed her judgment to be clouded. He was small, yes, but far from fragile. On the other hand, he was only human, void of any superpowers or special abilities. Just human, of flesh and bone, so easily damaged.

Kid Flash's little accident could have been the end of the boy.

"You forget who I am," Robin warned her in a low voice, eyes flashing, "I don't need your pity. Or anyone else's."

With that, he stalked off in the direction of home. He knew he couldn't do any good here and was therefore loath to hang around. He didn't want anyone to coddle him and he certainly did not want to witness Kid Flash moping. And so, he was going home.

There, at least, he would avoid unwanted sympathy.

Two weeks later...

"Will you stop looking at me like that?" Dick fumed at Bruce, "So you have to go on a mission away from Gotham. That's nothing new."

Bruce just kept looking at him, saying nothing, unsuccessfully trying to keep his thoughts to himself.

"I promise, I won't get into any trouble. Hey, I've got Alfred to look after me," Dick gestured to the butler, who would have much preferred to have been left out of the discussion, "Besides, how dumb do you think I am anyway?"

"Not dumb," Bruce said finally, weighing his words carefully, "just dedicated."

"Nice way of saying obsessed," Dick commented with a raised eyebrow, and Bruce grunted in response "Look, I promise I'll do my best to act like a teenager. I'll do nothing but eat chips and watch television until you get back."

Bruce raised a skeptical eyebrow in response, but said nothing. He knew that the only thing shorter than Dick's fuse was his attention span. He just thought too fast for the world around him, that was the truth of it. Good for Robin, but not for Dick, who was constantly bored.

"Hey, coach is happy for once," Dick reminded him.

The teachers at Gotham High were breathing down Bruce's neck. They didn't like Dick's erratic behavior, and had convinced themselves that his guardian was at fault. The truth was, they bored Dick to the point of tears, reiterating facts which weren't interesting the first time for the sake of those who were sleeping in class. But it was the football coach who was most upset.

Not long before Dick's accident, Coach had called Bruce and been all in a snit about Dick's behavior. If the kid didn't level off, the coach said, he couldn't use him. Dick was the best damn player the coach had ever seen, but only every other day or so. Dick was completely unreliable and therefore on the verge of being kicked off the team. Not that Dick seemed to care one way or the other.

Bruce had noticed a certain dispassion for school in Dick. He was alert, eager to learn, and Bruce knew that the shrewd mind behind those bright eyes never forgot a thing it learned. Dick was fluent in a number of languages as well as fighting styles. He had an appreciation for technology and his understanding of science was perhaps only surpassed by Wally and those who did science for a living. Mathematics, economics, you name it, Dick had a better understanding of it than Bruce had at his age.

And yet, in school the boy was flagging. There was no mystery in it. Dick's brain power and energy was wholly devoted to being Robin, both at home with Batman and abroad with the Team. He simply had nothing leftover to give to the education system.

But his two weeks as a "virtual invalid", as he sourly put it, had pleased his teachers to no end. Or some of them anyway. The rest found him virtually unmanageable, now that his entire focus was in the classroom. He was impossible, they said. He asked questions befitting a grade higher than his own, and absolutely would not sit still.

"The mission comes first," Dick insisted after a drawn out moment, "You can't go out there worrying about me. I'll be here, at home, until you get back. Count on it."

Bruce felt relieved, because he knew he could believe that. If he'd known what was coming, he wouldn't have felt that way. But he didn't know. Nobody could have.

A/N: This story was initially going to be set between season 1 and 2, but as I was writing it I started to feel it would be better to have it set at some undetermined point in season 1. So it is. As usual, I'm going to say it's probably AU, though not especially intentionally so. Also, as always, this story is completely written. It is has 20 chapters, plus a prelude, interlude and postlude, which makes for a total of 23.

As per usual, I will upload one chapter per day (Barring anything out of the ordinary. I will attempt to give readers a head's up via A/N). This was written for my entertainment, and is being published for yours. If you find yourself not enjoying it, then you should feel perfectly free to stop reading. Heap praise or criticism upon it, whichever may suit you best. Or say nothing about it at all, if you would prefer.

Originally, this experimental nonsense was supposed to be rather more of a comedy than it eventually wound up being. This is largely because of the huge number of things going on in my life and the lives of the people around me. There were days where I only managed to write a paragraph. In fact, I recall at least two separate instances where I wrote a sentence, decided I didn't like it, deleted the sentence and then quit for the day. It's safe to say I wrote this in a state of mild panic and near unconsciousness.

This is no excuse for anything that may be wrong with the story, but more an explanation or warning.

Story is in the process of being updated to improve spelling and punctuation 10/24/15.