Pinky, Voltron & the Brain

A Crossover Literary Work of Shameless Fandom

By KittyLynne and The Bandit

Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author. 'Pinky and the Brain' belongs to Warner Brothers/Amblin Entertainment and Mr. Rogers belongs to himself. Other relative disclaimers may apply to obscure references to other shows.

Author's Note: A word of explanation may be needed here.

Voltron is a circa 1990s cartoon hybrid created by World Events Productions from two separate Japanese SciFi animes, Go Lion and Dairugger. The two series featured different forms of a mighty mecha robot called Voltron, which was used to defend worlds under siege from the corrupt and evil Drule empire. This story focuses on the Lion Version of Voltron, in which heavy editing of the original material and a new script made it suitable for kids and American TV, but enough hints of much more adult content remained for it to enable it to find an older audience as well.

'Pinky and the Brain' is a circa 1990s, funny and witty cartoon that first appeared in Steven Spielberg's 'Animaniacs' on the WB network before eventually spinning off into their own show. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the characters, in the words of their own theme song, they are: "Pinky and the Brain, Pinky and the Brain, one is a genius, the other is insane! They're laboratory mice, whose genes have been spliced..." The Brain's ultimate ambition is to rule the world; he concocts elaborate schemes to achieve world domination by using different aspects of our culture to impart his message; anything from pop idols to Shakespeare has been used to his advantage, which results in some hilarious spoofs. The goofy Pinky is his incompetent but very loyal and eager sidekick in these schemes. Even though Pinky's incessant babble often drives Brain crazy, and even though Brain's Schemes for World Domination inevitably fail, the two mice stick together and never, ever give up.

Which brings us to our story...

Chapter 1

Planet Arus: 5:00 a.m.

Dawn's pinkish hues illuminated the impressive silhouette of the Castle of Lions; the steel gray fortress took on warmth as the first lazy rays of the sun appeared over the horizon. The burgeoning light soon touched the lands around the Castle, highlighting the meadows that were liberally dotted with symmetrically rounded trees of equal height and breadth. The rear of the palace was also revealed, including the flawlessly formed lake that was glimmering in front of the manicured courtyards. The gardens were filled with impeccably maintained flowers that stretched open their petals in worship of the rising sun.

Graceful, pillared structures that Earth dwellers would find reminiscent of ancient Greece emerged from shadow as the sparkling rays blanketed them. The emerald green grass that grew on the sharply angled hill on which the buildings rested took on new verve as wildlife began to stir. Small, shy bunnies emerged from their burrows to hop to and fro, little songbirds trilled a catchy melody, and gentle does and their fawns romped in the meadows.

Another perfect, sunny day on Planet Arus. All was peaceful, all was quiet.

Which is exactly why our story doesn't start there.

Planet Earth: 8:05 PM

The inner city building had been condemned, but that didn't bother its occupants. Acme Labs hadn't earned their results-with-minimal-cost-to-the-client reputation by being frivolous with a buck. The humungous letters of the blinking neon sign that crowned the dilapidated laboratory jutted into the stormy night, providing an excellent allegory for what occurred inside the structure; rare flashes of brilliance mixed with the inevitable power failure due to low wattage.

Tonight the sign spelled 'ACE BS'.

The scientists corralled within the lab's dingy walls scurried about, performing their assigned duties, which consisted of experimenting on field mice collected by ACME Pest Control, and then watching the resulting mutations go about their business. Everything about these mice had to be carefully recorded as data. Data was a scientist's best friend, data was their bread and butter, as long as they provided data of any kind for the Big Man, they all had jobs.

Eventually, the eight o'clock bell sounded, ending the labors of the evening shift. The white-coated humans simultaneously dropped their clipboards and exited en masse, speedily departing their world of test tubes, rodents, and paperwork for the comforts of home. The door slammed, and a morgue- like silence fell over the room, broken only by the sporadic sound of a squeaky exercise wheel.

"Pavlovian imbeciles! Once again they've left the place a wreck," muttered a cultured voice. It came from a cage far above the others in the lab. "But at least I have some peace!"

A steel cage door swung open, and the misshapen mouse the scientists had dubbed 'The Brain' crawled out of confinement with a thankful sigh. As soon as he was free of the pen, he stood on hind legs on the laboratory table and placed his fore paws in the small of his white, furry back, stretching it out with pleasure. His grossly oversized cranium almost overbalanced him for a moment, but he managed to stay upright as he completed his exercises, his abnormally tiny body making little pops and cracking noises.

"Ahhh, it feels good to stand. To have to regress to such primitive measures to get around is abhorrent." The mouse grumbled, his perpetual scowl deepening with contempt. "Four-footed locomotion should be reserved for inferior creatures...like dogs, cats and rats."

"Zort! I say Brain, is that you?" A loud voice liberally laced with a Scottish burr piped through the bars of a nearby cage. "Are you there?"

"No, Pinky, this is Mr. Rogers." The Brain replied with trademark sarcasm as he strolled over to the ledge that overlooked the enclosure directly below his.

"Ooooo, really? The Mr. Rogers? The 'oh, won't you be my neighbor' Mr. Rogers?!" The happy voice trembled with excitement. A pink nose bracketed by two large eyes and a buck toothed grin suddenly appeared between the cage bars. Two extremely outsized ears quivered in ecstasy on either side of the broadly grinning face. "Oh Mr. Rogers, I'm a big fan of yours...poit!...are you here to play land of make believe with me, please? Oh, I simply love King Friday, and Prince Tuesday, and Daniel..."

"Pinky, your inability to grasp the obvious never fails to astound me," the big- headed rodent answered, wearily. "Are you coming out of your cage or did you forget how to open your door?"

"No, Mr. Rogers, I didn't! Look! I can do it by myself now! Look!" The gangly mouse whipped open his cage door with a flourish and scurried over to his friend, eagerly glancing around and then up. "Oh hi, Brain! Where's Mr.- "

"Not here," The Brain cut him off, speaking in simple sentences as he jumped down to join his comrade. "Never was here."

"Oh," Pinky's face fell, then brightened. "Mr. McFeely?"

"Not here either."

"King Friday-"

"No."

Pinky's lower lip quivered. "The trolley? The trolley isn't here?" He asked pitifully, his eyes starting to water.

"Pinky, this is not the land of make believe! We are the only ones present in this godforsaken hellhole, and we have a job to do, so you must get over it, please!" Seeing that Pinky was still downcast, The Brain added, "Mr. Rogers values hard workers who don't pout."

Pinky was immediately distracted from his sulk. "Work? Oh goody, I love work!" He clapped his front paws together.

~The attention span of a flea at a dog show.~ The Brain thought despairingly. Good thing Pinky made the perfect lackey, or he would be tempted to personally put the addled rodent in the crowded rat cage experiment.

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?" His dimwitted counterpart inquired excitedly.

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky." The mousy genius replied. "We are going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

Pinky danced around in delight. "Oooo goody! How are we going to do it this time?"

"Well, up until a minute ago I hadn't a clue," the Brain admitted, "but your inane prattle has actually given me a brilliant idea."

"That's nice, Brain. But I haven't named a prattle since I was a baby," Pinky informed him gravely.

"Never mind, Pinky. What I am saying is that we will use make- believe to take over the world!"

"Splendid! Will King Friday be our ruler?"

"Wha-NO! Forget about Rogers!" The Brain bellowed, then calmed himself. "You must focus, Pinky; gather those genetically scattered wits of yours. We are going to use the beloved world of animation to send a subliminal message to the earth's population to worship The Brain, a message they will not, cannot resist. All that remains is to choose a suitable television venue to use in our plan."

"Does that mean I get to watch cartoons again?" Pinky asked, with a hopeful grin.

"Yes, I do believe that would be the best way to choose. Now that I have installed the satellite dish on the roof, we have 540 channels to pick from."

"Naaarrrf! That's amazing, Brain! I'll go get the remote! Zort!"

"You do that," his friend replied, with a sigh of relief that Pinky had actually mastered that task. "I'll wheel out the big screen television."

The two mice went their separate ways, Pinky to the remote, The Brain to the huge closet that contained the television and the 'Big Suit', a headless, life size mechanical body he had built for any of his world domination schemes that required him to appear human. He managed to pull the TV cart out without dislodging the suit, and wheeled it to the nearest power source.

Soon the T.V. was on and the two laboratory mice were seated on the table in front of it, eyes avidly fixed on the screen.

The first channel showed an animated gray cat and large- headed brown mouse wrecking havoc on a house and each other. Pinky chortled in glee as the cat's face took on the shape of the steam iron that had flattened it.

"Ah yes...the classics..." The Brain intoned thoughtfully. "The mouse had the right idea, but his ambition is limited to a lowly cat. A good looking fellow too, but what a pitiful waste of talent. Switch channels, Pinky!"

The intellectually impaired mouse leaped to his feet and jumped up and down on the channel changer. Now the screen showed a tuxedo- clad mouse and a duck in nautical type garb having a very animated conversation. The duck was spitting and sputtering unintelligibly as the mouse calmly listened to his tirade.

"Not much to go on here," The Brain muttered.

"Yes, but isn't Mikey Mouse a sharp dresser?" Pinky sighed wistfully. "It almost makes me wish that I wore clothes."

"Mikey Mouse...honestly Pinky! It's 'Mickey Mouse', the internationally recognized Icon and head of a powerful conglomerate of companies!" The Brain shook his head in disgust. "I must say that it is simply amazing to me that such a banal but amiable personality could be running a corporation that has come so very close to the objective I have been trying to achieve."

"The Duck is funny," Pinky laughed heartily. "I like him."

"Just change the channel, please," The Brain sighed.

"Aw..."

"Do it, Pinky!"

The channel flipped, and suddenly a dog and four humans appeared on the screen. One female in horn-rimmed glasses was speaking animatedly. "Jinkies, it's the ghost!"

"No meddling kids! Move on, Pinky!"

"Velma, I hardly knew ye," Pinky whispered sadly, as he hopped.

"Yabba dabba-"

"The Stone Age, I don't think so!" The Brain snorted. "Change it, Pinky!"

"Oh Bother, Piglet, I think I'm-"

"Stuffed with fluff! Change!"

"Eh, what's up, Doc?"

"My blood pressure! Next!"

"Ji-ga-lee-puff..."

"Oh good lord...NEXT!"

"Good thing I work out on the wheel as much as I do," Pinky gasped, continuing to jump.

Channel after channel went by, and The Brain felt himself falling into the depths of despair. Were all American cartoons full of inanity and mindless violence, appealing to the most base common denominators? What about originality and intelligence? How could he hope to win people over to his side with countless falling anvils, singing chipmunks, a duck hunter with a speech impediment, or a pudgy cat that slept and ate lasagna?

Finally, there was only one option left; a network that showed cartoons imported or adapted from Japanese animation. What could the Japanese offer that good old American ingenuity had overlooked or hadn't watered down beyond recognition?

But then, when all hope was all but gone, stirring music spilled into the room and the screen was suddenly filled with the impressive form of a lion-headed mechanical warrior that was, the announcer informed them, "a mighty robot, loved by good, and feared by evil."

"By the powers that b, it looks very much like the design of my Big Suit," The Brain gasped. "Take a break Pinky."

"Poit." Said Pinky, plunking down on his hindquarters. "Thank goodness." He sighed, then perked up. "Oh lookie, lookie! It's the Defender of the Universe!"

"Indeed." The Brain muttered. "Indeed..."

They watched as the Robot formed his blazing sword and various other weapons to defeat ugly mechanical monsters. The Brain noted with astonishment that the warrior was made of five separate parts, flown by five pilots; four men and one woman. The humans were shown in split screens from time to time, exchanging information and banter.

"The Princess is so lovely." Pinky sighed. "I'm pretty sure she and Captain Keith-he's the mullet guy in red flight suit and white go go boots- are in love, even though Lance flirts with her! She has kissed Lance on the cheek a few times, but I don't think it means anything because Keith and Allura always look at each other in the most amazing ways, and they always are shown together. But Keith is very quiet about it, because he's not a Prince, not that it matters, mind you, although that horrid Nanny makes it seem like it does, although I think she changed her mind after Keith took a slash in the chest to defend the Princess' honor, and she was so upset she sat by his bed the entire time until the Robeast attacked, and she went to protect him, and then he came out of his coma just in time to help save her and defeat the monster." Pinky sucked in a deep breath and his goofy grin turned wistful. "Ain't love grand, Brain? Even though they never say it, you just know they-"

The Brain interrupted his friend's semi-coherent babbling. "It's called subtext, Pinky. And I take it that you have watched this show more than once?"

"Poit! Oh yes, many times! I love the adventures of the Voltron Force, although there are some really icky poo poo people on it that want to destroy them and capture the Diamond Galaxy and ruin the Alliance, then there's that evil Prince Lotor who is always after Princess Allura, ooo, he makes me so mad!" The gangly body bristled with repressed ire. "It would be so marvelous if they would let Captain Keith really smack that Lotor a good one, Zort!"

"Yes, yes, whatever. I am more interested in their Big Suit, Pinky. It looks practically invincible, and all the people on the show seem to admire or fear it greatly." The Brain's myopic eyes grew wide as he saw the mechanical man standing on a pedestal in front of cheering, flower- throwing throngs of people. "Look Pinky! Look how they worship the Big Head Lion Suit!"

Pinky giggled. "Oh Brain, you silly-willy, it's not called Big Head Lion Suit! It's Voltron, Defender of the Universe, or V:DOTU for short."

"Voltron, eh?" The final credits were now rolling, and The Brain was disappointed. "Over already? Oh, to have seen more, my loquacious friend, I feel that we could have learned much."

Pinky beamed and clapped his paws together. "You're in luck! It's Wednesday, and every Wednesday they run a Voltron mini-marathon! Wait until you see the Castle of Lions, and how get to the lion ships before they form Voltron!"

The Brain raised his tiny fists in triumph. "Yeeesssss! I foresee great potential in this show. Let the marathon begin!"

Six hours later...

The Brain, still murmuring excitedly to himself, had filled an entire notebook with specs on the Defender of the Universe. Finally, he threw his pencil down in triumph.

"That's it! If my calculations are correct, Pinky, we can modify the exoskeleton of our very own Big Suit to emulate that of Voltron in its functionality."

"Why do we want to do that Brain?" The pink nosed mouse whimpered as his gaze remained fixed on the screen. "You know quite well that I'm afraid of extra scary skeletons, Narf!"

"Oh for the love of..." his friend sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "Don't make me hurt you, Pinky. I was referring to the structure of the Big Suit. There will be no extra skeletons, scary or otherwise. "

"Okay," was the distracted reply.

"Here is my plan in a rudimentary, yet effective nutshell." The Brain stated. "We will alter the Big Suit to resemble Voltron, go to Japan to fight some giant monsters and save Tokyo from certain destruction. Since the Japanese are severely depressed over their latest economic decline, they will love us and will reward us for bringing them security by giving us our own show along with rights to mass merchandising."

"Uh huh." Said Pinky vaguely. "That sounds interesting."

"So much more than that! In the daily program, we will be shown performing heroic deeds, attending school, working hard and setting a good example of citizenship, thereby ingratiating ourselves into the hearts of all Japanese. At the end of every show, when they do the monologue, we will insert our own subliminal message to make me their leader! To control Japan, is to control of one of the seven world economic powers! Once our series hits syndication, we will then export our show around the globe, along with our message, and in no time at all we take over the world!"

Unable to contain himself, The Brain chortled with wicked and prolonged glee.

"Quiet!" Pinky shushed him with emphatic and completely unexpected urgency.

The Brain stopped chortling and glared. "What could possibly be more important than my brill-"

Pinky interrupted. "There's a K & A moment coming up soon."

The Brain scowled. "What, pray tell, is a 'K & A' moment?"

"Keith and Allura, silly, remember? I just know that one of these days he's going to kiss her!"

"Really Pinky, one of these days I'm going to...wait!" The Brain pointed at the screen excitedly. "Those small red eyed creatures, who are they?"

"Narrrffff...oo, those are the Space Mice; they are the special friends of the Princess!" Pinky explained happily.

"What is that contraption they are flying?"

"It's their version of a lion ship. Pidge, the Green Lion pilot built it." Pinky shook his head. "The boy genius meant well, but why did he make it so they have to pedal it to get it to fly, poor little guys! With all the fancy gizmos and gadgets, why would he give them a bicycle powered ship? Don't you find that odd, Brain?"

But the Brain wasn't listening, he was pondering. "Experienced pilots, eh? We are going to need recruits that are experienced in combat for our knockoff- I mean, our personal version of Voltron." The Brain scratched his head. "And you say these mice are very close to the Princess of , uh...uh..."

"Planet Arus," Pinky supplied helpfully. "She already rules a world."

"Yes, yes, of course she does. And so will we, once we would have an inside way to get more complete information on the lions' infrastructure; I must admit I am a little vague on the concept of dynotherms and infracells." The Brain watched closely as the Space Mice were rewarded with cheese for a job well done. "Ah, Pinky, this is excellent! They will work for food! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

His skinny friend looked pensive. "I think so Brain, but no matter how much he has the hots for her, Lance will never pursue Allura because Keith is his best friend and it would hurt him badly. Oh look, the Princess is on again, isn't she beautiful?"

The Brain was too busy concentrating on his plan to look. Striding over to the remote, he switched off the television, and began to quickly disassemble the apparatus.

"You took her away! Why, Brain, why?" The besotted rodent wailed pitifully.

"Cool your mega-thrusters, Pinky, you'll be seeing her in person if this works."

"I will?" The tall mouse now wore a look of rapture. "Oh joyous day!"

"But it won't happen if you don't get to work!"

"Yes sir, Brain! Right away Brain!"

With Pinky now fully engaged in the task, lttle paws flew as they wired and re-wired the remote. The last step was to hook it to the surveillance camera mounted nearby.

"I will really get to meet her?" Pinky clapped his paws together as he watched the Brain hooked up various cables and wires to the video camera. "Oh, that would be even more wonderful than meeting Mr. Rogers and taking a ride on the trolley."

The Brain finished the last connections and gave a sigh of satisfaction. "Yes, that should do it, now we must get this to the Big Suit. With all the technology that they have lying around on Planet Arus, I can modify the suit there for next to nothing."

"Zort! You mean-"

"Yes, Pinky, we are going to Planet Arus via my Network Trans Warp Modifier! What was once unattainable as fantasy will become the ultimate reality show!"

"But t-that m-means..." Pinky would have gone pale if he hadn't already been white. "That means..."

"Breaking our contract by going to another network? I know, and I don't care."

"Not just that! Zort! It's against the rules of animation, Brain! We'll get in big trouble!"

"Once I am ensconced as ruler of this world, I will pardon us."

Pinky folded his arms and stuck his nose in the air. "I don't care. It's wrong and I won't do it!"

The Brain folded his arms and tapped a foot. "Let me put it another way. Do you want to see your precious Princess or not?"

"Oh yes! I'll get the Big Suit!"

The Brain shook his head as the hyperactive rodent ran for the closet. It was way too easy sometimes. True love and romance was for idiots, and Pinky was their poster boy.

The suit was rolled out and set into position. The Brain entered through the open toed shoe, carrying the remote, with Pinky at his heels. Brain immediately sped to the top of the suit, sat in the captain's chair and stuck his head out of the large neck hole. He knew, of course, that his head was way too small in scope for the body it topped, but no one had seemed to notice this deformity on previous adventures, so he saw no reason to change it.

Pinky's plaintive tones rose up from the bowels of the suit. "Brain, why do I have to sit way down here? I can't see or touch anything!"

"That's the idea," the Brain muttered to himself. Aloud he said, "It's only for a few minutes, my friend. Isn't it worth it to meet the lovely Princess?"

"Naaarrrffff," was the dreamy sounding response.

"I'll take that as a yes. Hang on Pinky, we are ready to proceed."

"All right! " Pinky yelled. "Let's go, Big Suit Force!"

"Indeed," The Brain said. Switching on the television by remote, he then pressed the channel changer, and a few seconds short of instantly the Big Suit and its two rodent occupants were transformed into pixels of light that were sucked straight into the verdant, scenic Arusian countryside depicted on the screen.

To be continued!