Author's Notes: This is a little story that I never intended to post, but it ended up growing into a slightly bigger story. It was basically a 'what if' scenario that I've ended up a bit fascinated by, and as I've been done up in bed after foot surgery, I've found time to write it. It's actually been rather fun exploring this premise. I hope you enjoy it too!

These are all basically really short snapshots of Rimmer's life post-stasis. I haven't actually decided why Rimmer wound up in stasis yet, except that he got into trouble, so I hope you'll go along with it for now until I think of a reason.

The door to the stasis booth let out a hiss of steam as it slid open, and Arnold J Rimmer rejoined the flow of time and started aging again. He finished the salute he'd been doing as he did so, and he proceeded to step outside into the corridor that awaited him. He wasn't particularly eager to see the Captain again. After the right bollocking he'd gotten before his sentence, he was rather eager for the chance to never see the man again.

He was still fretting over what this would mean for his record when he finally noticed how quiet it was. After nearly fifteen years in the service, he'd never known this ship to be so quiet. There was always activity of some sort going around. He couldn't fathom what it could possibly mean.

Thankfully, it was interrupted by a familiar London twang. "Good morning, Arnold. It is now safe for you to emerge from stasis."

Rimmer blinked. "Holly? Where's Todhunter? I thought he was going to let me out."

"Please report to the Drive Room for debriefing."

Holly didn't have any monitors in this area, so Rimmer couldn't look him in the eye. He could only shrug his shoulders helplessly and make his way up the corridor towards the Drive Room.

It was a long walk.

There were strange little mounds of white powder that lined the floor, and Rimmer didn't like the look of them at all. Still, he figured that a lot must have happened in eighteen months. He walked as fast as he could without actually running. He was growing worried now.

At last, he made it into the massive Drive Room, which was littered with more mounds of white powder. They were definitely putting him off now.

It was now that Rimmer began to realize why it was quiet. "Holly, where is everybody?"

"They're dead, Arnold."

It took a few seconds for that sentence to properly register with Rimmer. He heard the words, and he knew what they meant, but he couldn't figure out how to link them to the current situation. He stood there staring off into space for several seconds before he finally began to get the clockwork gears that made up his brain to start turning again.

"… What?" he asked, cursing himself immediately for asking such a stupid question.

"They're dead, Arnold," Holly repeated in exactly the same tone he'd used before.

"What, everyone?"

"Everybody's dead, Arnold."

Rimmer's mind was reeling. The reality of those words was beginning to settle in his chest and crush his lungs. He staggered against a desk and fought for oxygen. It took him another few seconds, but eventually managed to gain control and speak again.

"Wha…? But… How? How can they all be dead?"

"One of the drive plates blew apart and released a lethal dose of Cadmium II. Everyone was dead in under a minute, I'm afraid."

Rimmer could only stare straight ahead at the empty room, which from his perspective had only minutes ago been so full of life and energy. He staggered again, but his breathing remained steady. All the same, he decided to sit down in the swivel chair. However, he couldn't help but notice that there was a small mound of the white powder sitting in a neat little pile right next to him on the desk. He ran his fingers through it, desperate for a distraction from this horrific news.

"Holly, what the hell is all this stuff?"

"That is Console Executive Imran Sanchez."

Rimmer immediately started dusting his fingers as fast as he could to get the remnants of the dead crewmember off his digits, pushing away with the chair and rolling along the floor. He got to his feet and began brushing his hands against his legs in a desperate attempt to get away from the dead cells.

"You mean… each and every single one of these little piles of albino mouse droppings is a member of the crew?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"Is this what Cadmium II does to people? It reduces them to little mountains of dandruff? All of this happened in eighteen months?"

Holly looked awkward now. "Well, not quite eighteen months."

"What?"

"Well, it's a bit more than that, actually. You see, I couldn't let you out of stasis until the radiation had reached a safe background level."

Rimmer massaged his temples. "Holly, would you kindly just get to the point?" he asked irritably. "How long was I in stasis?"

"Three million years," Holly replied.

It was as if someone had thrown a switch. Rimmer fell against the wall behind him and slowly slid down it, landing with a heavy thump on his arse. He didn't even bother to wince in pain as he made contact with the hard metal floor. He just sat there, unable to contemplate what was happening.

"Three… million…?" he managed to gasp out.

"I'm afraid so."

Rimmer struggled to get his brain working. This was serious. No kidding around. He had to get himself on top of the situation. "So… that means… not just the crew are dead. It means… everyone… is dead."

"Yes, Arnold – in all probability, you are the last human being in the universe. God help us."

Rimmer ignored the tasteless joke and just sat there, feeling another wave of nausea wash over him. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. He had so much going for him. He was going to be an officer. He was going to command his own ship. He was going to finally be better than his three stupid older brothers and make his stupid heartless parents proud of him at last. How the hell could this be happening?

"Arnold?" Holly asked with some concern.

"… How the hell can this be happening?" Rimmer asked in a voice that squeaked slightly as it went, making him sound not unlike a prepubescent lad going through the first few stages of manhood.

"I understand, Arnold, but you need to get a hold of yourself."

"Why the hell did you let me out?" Rimmer demanded, back in his usual voice. "Why didn't you just keep me in stasis forever? What is the point? The human race is probably extinct, and I have nowhere to go! My family is dead! My career is dead! Everything I ever worked for is pointless now!"

Holly tilted his head in a shrug. "It seemed like the decent thing to do."

Rimmer growled and fell to the floor, curling up into a ball and rocking back and forth out of sheer frustration and fury. He pounded his fist on the hard metal floor, only to immediately regret that decision as he felt the pain ricochet through his fist.

"I'm alone," he said quietly. "I'm one hundred percent completely alone."

"Well, technically speaking, yes."

Rimmer looked up in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean, 'technically speaking'?" he demanded.

Then he noticed a figure standing in the opposite doorway. It was a woman with shoulder-length brown hair, a khaki uniform with green trousers and a green cap on her head. Most telling of all was the large metallic H in the middle of her forehead.

He sat up in shock, staring at the digital ghost that stood before him. "Wait… Kochanski?" he asked in a daze.

"Rimmer," she replied shortly, somehow making it sound like 'scum'. "Long time no see."

Rimmer scrambled to his feet and found himself automatically saluting. "Miss Kochanski, ma'am! I was just… I was… I… I don't know anymore…," he finished sadly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Kochanski shook her head at him scornfully. "Well, well, look who's alive and kicking," she said.

Rimmer could only look at her incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

Kochanski suddenly took on a sunny expression. "Oh, I just forgot my purse somewhere in here. You don't mind if I check around and look for it, do you?" Her scowl returned. "I'm dead, you idiot! Read the eighth letter of the alphabet planted on my face! I'm a hologram!"

Rimmer backed away, despite knowing that she couldn't really harm him. "You're a hologram? But why?"

"Ugh! Do we need to go over this again? There's a small matter of me being dead!"

"No! I mean, why are you the hologram? Not that it isn't absolutely wonderful to see you, ma'am! Always a pleasure! Ma'am!" he said, trying hard to stay in her good books while he attempted to extract whatever information he could manage.

"Because Holly chose me – that's why!"

Rimmer threw a helpless glance in the direction of Holly's monitor. The large bald disembodied head blinked before realizing that he was supposed to have some sort of explanation handy.

"Er… I did a probability study," he lied, "and Kochanski is the best candidate to keep you sane."

"Keep me sane? You actually intend for me to keep living after this bombshell you've dropped on me?"

"I thought it'd be kind to give you an option."

Rimmer sat down in the chair again. "Great. So to recap, I'm three million years in the future, I'm possibly the last human being alive, and my only companions are a computer and a hologram of a woman who hates me. Wonderful. Sensational. I wish I could've just died in the radiation leak."

Kochanski massaged her temples, feeling a great big surge of anger wash over her. "Look, Rimmer, I don't like this any more than you do, but this is the situation we're stuck in, so there's nothing we can do about it."

"I could send myself out of an airlock," Rimmer replied flatly.

"… What?"

"Well, what's the point in sticking around, may I ask you? Am I supposed to just sit around on this ship for the rest of my life, ticking away the seconds until I die and the human race snuffs out? Is that what I'm supposed to do?"

"Rimmer, please…"

"Stop it, okay? Just stop it. I don't want to hear it."

Kochanski watched as the man she had probably the lowest opinion of ever leaned forward against the table and buried his face in his arms. She waited to see if he would start crying. It's not like she would've been able to judge him. All things considered, anyone would cry in a situation like this.

However, when he came back up, she didn't see any tears. Instead, she saw fury. It was such a powerful fury that she nearly jumped backwards in fear, but she remembered her training and stood her ground. She could only stand there in silent wonder as Rimmer's face turned beet red in anger, and it seemed to be building so much that his fists were shaking gently.

"Rimmer…?" she asked gently. "Rimmer, whatever it is you need to say, maybe you'd better just say it. It's just you and me here. I won't judge you. Just say whatever you feel like saying."

And Rimmer screamed.

Kochanski jumped backwards again, and Holly was so startled he dropped beneath his screen, just peeking up over it like a child peeking over a wooden fence.

It was a loud scream that went on for what felt like years. Rimmer let it go for about fifteen seconds, during that period he collapsed to his knees, once again on the hard metal floor, and he didn't stop until he ran out of air. He collapsed on his side, curled up into a ball and wept.

Kochanski could only stare in stunned silence. It was like watching an episode of National Geographic. She couldn't really interfere. She contemplated what would happen if she walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, only to remember she couldn't anymore.

She could only watch as Rimmer finally let out every vestige of anger and frustration he had ever felt until he finally cried himself to sleep.

Author's Note: Okay, that wasn't very humourous, but it felt like a realistic response, muck like Lister's in the novel 'Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers', so this is just to get us started. We'll explore the chemistry between Rimmer and Kochanski in later chapters. Hopefully, I won't make them fall in love.