The Evil Stick is extremely embarrassed about how long this chapter took to get out. Much apologies. And much thanks to xXinsidemymindXx for proofreading.

Chili Beans

Gajeel hiked through the canyons of Fiore with his trusted partner sitting on his shoulder.

"You haven't said much of anything today, Gajeel. Are you worried about Levy going on a mission with Shadow Gear?"

"I don't care about those fools. If she wants to go on a mission with them then that is her business. And if they put her in danger then it will be partly her fault."

"If you feel that way then we could train them so they get used to being on a three person team again. They got used to running away and protecting themselves during the 7 years that we were on Tenrou Island." Lily sighed, " I think I was too hard on them at the guild earlier. All they need is to be retrained as a three person team and that will help keep Levy safe."

"If you ask me, I think we were too soft. They need to be told to train otherwise they won't figure it out for themselves. I should have kicked their asses so they would realize how weak they became."

"We could do it, you know? We can train them."

Gajeel stopped hiking and looked at his older companion to see that the black exceed was serious. "You can train them. I won't have anything to do with it."

The two partners continued through the canyons consumed by their thoughts over Team Shadow Gear.

X-X-X

*Huff Huff * *Wheeze* Jet and Droy hiked through the canyons of Fiore far enough away so Gajeel and Pantherlily can't hear, see, or smell them.

They peeked over a rock so they could see deeper into the gorge. Gajeel and Pantherlily were meeting with some natives that dwelled deep in the canyon.

Jet lifted his binoculars and observed the encounter. "Good, they have to get information on their job so they will be there talking for a while."

"Can we take a break? I'm hungry." Droy wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"You're always hungry." Jet stopped so Droy could catch up.

"I have a lot of muscle to nourish!"

"Whatever. Let's eat then."

Droy threw down a few seeds. The seeds quickly grew into a watermelon plant, carrots, potatoes, and a corn stalk.

In a flash, Jet disappeared into the dry wilderness only to reappear 10 seconds later with an armful of fire wood. Then he used his speed to rub a few sticks together to start a fire.

Droy started harvesting the corn and potatoes while Jet boiled some water. They dumped the potatoes and corn in the water and snacked on the watermelon while the food cooked.

"What will we do if Gajeel notices that we followed him?" Droy asked while dumping the potatoes and corn in the boiling water.

"He won't notice me, but if you keep farting he'll smell you," Jet grumbled. "And did you have to wear those checkered tights again? The dry brush has already torn holes in them and now I can see patches of your butt. Can you at least put on some underwear?"

"Nobody makes underwear in my size! You're just jealous that you're not as buff as I am." Droy huffed and took a big bite of watermelon.

Jet rolled his eyes, "You know, if you don't lose weight Levy will never date you."

"If you don't gain weight, Levy will never date you! You look like a 40 year old crack head!"

Jet sighed as he leaned back to munch on a carrot. "I know Levy doesn't like skinny guys, but I've tried to gain weight. It's just that my magic doesn't let me gain weight and if I do gain weight then it will make my magic less efficient."

The 2 men sighed together. Levy just wasn't attracted to them and they were aware of it. They continued their meal in silence while keeping tabs on their comrades from afar.

X-X-X

"Is it me, or do these canyons smell like Droy's chili bean farts?" Lily covered his nose to try to block the smell.

Gajeel snickered, "Well, the job description says that the people are experiencing a sudden drought after their river mysteriously stopped flowing. Their crops have died so they are starving and have begun to cannibalize each other. That smell might be rotting corpses."

Lily smirked, "Well, good thing it's rotting corpses and not Droy's farts because then we would have a problem."

The odd companions laughed together until they came upon a tattered and dried out village. Pantherlily hopped down off of Gajeel's shoulder's to greet the canyon dwellers.

"We're from Fairy Tail. Just tell me when your water stopped flowing and point me to the direction that the water would normally come from." Gajeel got right down to business, but he became annoyed when he realized that they didn't hear a word that he said.

The canyon dwellers looked emaciated and their eyes were fixated on Pantherlily. If they weren't so dehydrated then they probably would have been drooling. They were staring at him as if he was their only meal in weeks and they had no decency to keep their thoughts to themselves:

"What animal is this?" One villager questioned.

"Is it edible?" A few others murmured.

"Uh…" Pantherlily backed up from the crowd that was gathering around him. He small fists curled when he backed right into a spear that was pointed into his back.

"Gihi! They want to eat you, Lily!" Gajeel laughed and crossed his arms over his chest ready to see what his partner would do.

The people reached out to the exceed with their bony, shaky fingers and felt his arms and legs as if to gauge the meat on his bones.

One person pulled on his tail, "This tail would make good stew."

"THAT'S IT!" Pantherlily wasted no more time so he morphed into his battle-sized body. "NO ONE IS GOING TO EAT ME TODAY!"

The villagers backed away from the scary exceed out of shock of his size, but they continued to eye his expanded muscles.

Lily growled in frustration. Usually people would immediately scatter if they saw him grow larger than most humans, but these villagers were starving. So Pantherlily reached behind him to pull out his magic sword. When the sword grew to 10 times its master's size, the villagers immediately dispersed.

"Gihihihi!" Gajeel laughed loudly as the canyon dwellers scrambled back into their huts and some frantically jumped into dry, thorny brush. A few mothers even left behind their crying children.

"JUST POINT US TO THE DIRECTION OF WHERE YOUR WATER FLOWS FROM!" Pantherlily's long, white teeth were fully bared and his lips were curled up in anger.

A few shaky hands emerged from the huts to point them toward the northern gorge.

"Let's go, Gajeel!" Lily powered down his weapon and stomped in the direction that the villagers indicated.

Gajeel wiped the tears of humor from his eyes and followed his annoyed partner into the northern canyon.

X-X-X

"Why did Lily grow into his battle body? What kind of job are they on?" Droy mused as he ravaged his corn from the cob.

Jet held up the binoculars and watched as Gajeel along with a battle-sized Pantherlily made their way to the northern gorge. "I guess they are done talking with the locals. If we get lucky, they will need our help and then we will come to their rescue and Levy will like us again!" Jet smiled in triumph.

Droy finished his watermelon and rubbed his stomach. "Oh, Mavis, my stomach isn't sitting well."

Jet stared at Droy unamused, "I told you not to eat that huge pot of chili beans before we left."

"But Gajeel stole all of my chicken!"

"He stole 2 legs from your batch of 10. You weren't going to die."

"But I was still hungry!"

"If you keep eating like that then you are going to have to quit Fairy Tail and join the Giggle Butt Gang!"

"Shut up, Crackhead!"

The two love rivals started wrestling before Jet decided to end the fight with a quick elbow to Droy's bloated belly.

*PHTTTTTT* Droy cut a huge chili bean fart.

*PHTTT*

*PhttTT*

*PhttT*

*phttt*

The offensive fart echoed loudly throughout the canyons.

*FSSH* The fire grew from the toxic digested gas cloud.

"Shit!" Jet snatched up his binoculars to see if Gajeel or Pantherlily had noticed. "Good, they have already moved on through the canyon."

"We have to catch up with them." Droy put the rest of the carrots in his back pocket.

X-X-X

Gajeel and Pantherlily followed the dried out ditch.

"This ditch looks like it used to be a steam or creek. It's completely dry." Lily noted.

Gajeel nodded in agreement. "If we follow it then we should eventually find out what is blocking or diverting the water. Maybe we can fight a huge monster!" He grinned in anticipation.

*PHTTTTTT*

The two black companions froze in their tracks, "That sounded like…"

*PHTTT*

*PhttTT*

*PhttT*

*phttt*

Lily growled, "That was definitely one of Droy's farts echoing in the canyon."

Gajeel face palmed, "That fool! What's he doing here?!"

*Shhh* A light breeze blew in their direction.

Lily and Gajeel gagged from the odor carried by the wind.

After they caught their breath Lily spoke. "We have to go back for him."

"I'M NOT GOING ANY WHERE NEAR HIM WHEN HE SMELLS LIKE THAT!"

Pantherlily looked back toward the direction of the village, not moving a muscle.

"Let's go, Lily! We have a job to do!" Gajeel stomped down the dried creek with haste.

"Gajeel, if Droy is close by then Jet is too. Maybe even Levy." The iron dragon halted in his tracks and Lily continued with his concerns, "They don't know that the villagers are cannibals."

Gajeel gave a low growl and turned back around to hurry towards the village with Pantherlily at his side.

X-X-X

Jet and Droy hurried through the canyon to catch up with Gajeel and Pantherlily.

Jet peeked over another rock. "As long as you don't fart then the villagers won't know we're here."

"If you don't elbow me in the stomach then I won't fart! You should have already used your speed to scout for a way around the village."

Jet rolled his eyes, "Fine, I'm going to find a way through." He left a cloud of dust as he sped through the area.

*SNAP* Jet ran right into an animal trap.

"Aurrgh! Help me, Droy!" The speed mage yelled as he tried to free his leg from the rope.

"I'm coming!" Droy rushed over to his best friend and cut through the rope.

*WHOOSH* A large netting came down over the both of them.

"We caught them!" A villager peeked his head out from the bushes

A few others peered from behind the boulders above the Fairy Tail mages. "They must have been the ones responsible for the odor."

"This one looks tasty…" A village warrior used his spear to poke Droy's thigh with anticipation.

"HEY!" Droy protested the poke.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Jet wriggled in vain under the netting.

Another warrior poked Jet's butt with his spear, "This one isn't very appetizing, but his bones would make a good snack for the dogs."

Jet and Droy clung to each other in fear.

The biggest warrior gave a wide smile, "TIE THEM UP! WE WILL HAVE THEM FOR DINNER!"

The hunting party cheered and tied the two Fairies up so they could be strung up and cooked.

X-X-X

Panthlily and Gajeel finally reached the village to hear cheering and some familiar screams.

"SAVE US, GAJEEL!" Jet and Droy wailed as they hung upside down surrounded by the village warriors as they attempted to start a fire..

"Why did you bring them with us!?" Pantherlily growled at his teammate.

"They just followed me!" Gajeel growled back at the exceed.

If you follow the manga then you are probably aware of why The Evil Stick ended this chapter here. The story will continue and will highlight the practicality of Jet and Droy's magic. Please review and, as always, flames are encouraged.