A/N: HALLOFdoor: thanks for the review! and yeah I already knew there were a few others who had done this before me (although most of the ones I found didn't get much farther than act two, so major props for getting yours as long as it is!) but it's something that's just fun for me to do when I have time and it helps me practice my writing so I definitely plan to keep going with it :)

ACT THREE – Insane Corkscrew Haymakers

A silly girl with long black hair and big round glasses napped by her flowers. It was quite likely that she tired herself out with a variety of silly antics, as silly girls were often known to do. Maybe she had a silly name too. Or maybe not. It was hard to say for sure without asking her.

But since she was slumbering peacefully, it would be a shame to wake her up. We might as well just give her a name right now.

Uh...I guess...I guess her name was Farmstink Buttlass.

And it seemed like nothing could rouse Farmstink from her slumber, she was really down for the count!

Beneath her arm, it looked like she was holding some kind of note.

Beside her was a pumpkin with an interesting design carved into it, and perhaps if someone were to drop it on her head, Farmstink would awake.

Wait, what pumpkin?

There was no pumpkin next to her, and it was hard to imagine there ever was a pumpkin, in plain sight or otherwise.

Anyway, that would be a really terrible thing to do to poor, sweet Farmstink.

Upon closer examination, one could just make out the content of the note she was clutching. It read, "farmstink? that is incredibly silly and a little bit rude! my name is jade harley!"

Now awake, she stood up smiling and alert. She was wearing a shirt with a blue pumpkin on it that would occasionally change into a variety of other symbols and a long skirt.

Her name was Jade. She had just woken from a restful nap, and as usual, she had no recollection of falling asleep.

She had quite a number of interests; so many in fact, she had trouble keeping track of them all, even with an assortment of colorful reminders on her fingers to help her sort out everything on her mind. Nevertheless, when she spent time in her garden atrium, where she was now, the only thing on Jade's mind was her deep passion for horticulture.

Lying on the ground next to her was her flute. She picked it up and decided to play a short, silly flute refrain. And by refrain I mean she played a bunch of random notes and jumped around.

She really sucked at this thing.

Maybe she should have tried playing an instrument she actually knew how to play instead, like the one in her bedroom. Honestly Jade had no idea where this flute even came from. Things seemed to appear and disappear around here all the time. Especially, to her unending chagrin, any sort of large orange gourd that might have been lying around.

She considered throwing the flute down in disgust.

But, on second thought, it was a perfectly nice flute and there was no reason to take her frustration out on it. She just needed some practice.

Jade was about to captchalogue her flute, but before she could do that she would need to set her fetch modus first!

She had a wide variety of fetch modi based off of all sorts of different board games to choose from. There was even a Ouija-based modus!

Jade had been really excited when her Grandpa bought her this modus set for Christmas. He was a total badass, even if he was a little strict.

Typically, she opted for the Memory modus when it came to matters of day-to-day practicality so she selected that and captchalogued the flute.

She had allotted nine cards to the modus from her deck, since that would be more than enough for her needs at the moment and the modus grabbed nine more cards for matching purposes.

How it worked was the flute was split up on two blank cards and mixed randomly into the grid. To retrieve the item she would first have to pick a card and then pick the matching card that went with it.

For the typical sylladexer this modus presented a frustrating guessing game and a lot of wasted time on mismatching. But Jade liked it because she seemed to have a knack for guessing right on the first try!

After taking care of the flute, Jade thought about squealing like a piglet and fertilizing some plants. It was an awfully silly idea and was basically a waste of everyone's time. Predictably, she would disregard this notion and focus on more sensible objectives at once.

But Jade was an unpredictable girl. She scurried around with gleeful abandon fertilizing plants and squealing as she went. 'Oh my god this is so much fun!' She thought.

After she had finished, she captchalogued the bag of fertilizer and then checked the colorful reminders on her fingers.

She tended to have a lot of things on her mind at once, and she could be a little forgetful. So, she kept a variety of colored strings on her fingers as reminders. Each one meant there was something different to remember at a certain time.

In fact, as she looked at her index finger it reminded her that there was something to remember at that very moment! It was her friend John's birthday. The green string reminded Jade that John's birthday package would arrive today. The blue string also reminded her that John's birthday package would arrive today, though in a way that was slightly different.

She was further reminded that she had some things to do outside her house soon; but she wanted to stop by her room first for some supplies and, most importantly, to see if John was online and wish him a happy birthday!

Before she left though, she spied a pumpkin on the table beside her that seemed suitably ripe for the taking, so she snapped it up into her sylladex. Hopefully the safety of her sylladex would prevent it from being spirited away like so many of its ephemeral predecessors.