Welcome back! I know it's been an embarrassingly long time, so my apologies. Between life being busy, and focusing more on some of my other stories, this one has definitely been neglected. So, let's get back to it! Thanks for the nudges, and sorry for the delay. And my apologies for the shoddy writing in this story so far. I think there's been some improvement in the last chapter or two, but having glanced back at the previous ones, I have to admit I was pretty appalled. But, hopefully things will improve! Oh, and just a heads up, every time I save a change, the site seems to delete words and/or sentences (full or partial), so, if you see something that looks weird, sorry, but every time I fix and save one thing that it's changed, something else pops up.

Anyway, as always, thank you for the follows, favourites, and reviews! I hope you'll continue to let me know what you think.

Recap: In a bid to protect Sam from the consequences of the Ford fiasco, Andy incriminates herself, leaving Sam struggling to clear her name. Despite several attempts to have a meaningful conversation, Sam and Andy find themselves being constantly interrupted. Marlo ends up taking the fall for the Ford incident, and although Sam finally opens up to Andy, their conversation is (once again) cut short. Andy and Sarah have a chat, in which some details of Sam's childhood are brought to light. Andy tells Sam she loves him but needs more time; Nick and Andy break up (but Sam doesn't know); and after talking to the therapist, Andy is cleared to return to work. After five days with no word from her, Sam starts to think Andy chose to stay with Nick. Before anything can be cleared up, Andy gets in a car accident while responding to a call. Frank and Oliver break the news to Sam, who frantically searches the hospital, desperate to see her. Tests reveal that Andy has a Traumatic Brain Injury, which causes problems with her vision (among other things).

Andy jerked upward, gasping for air as she tried to shake the remnants of her nightmare. Darkness. Her mind raced. Where am I? Heart rate skyrocketing, her hands sprawled out in front of her before frantically reaching out to the side, her skin almost immediately hitting something hard. What the hell is going on? What...? Am I blind? Fingers trailing along what felt like plastic, she frowned. Bars? A railing? And then it clicked, the pieces all slowly falling back together... again. The car accident. Hospital. She let out a loud breath, an odd sense of relief washing over her. The rest was just a dream. Being held captive. Tortured. It wasn't real. She sunk back into the pillows, struggling to block out the immense pain tearing through her body.

"Hello?" she whispered, the word coming out choked and raw sounding.

No response.

With a small groan, she reached upward to remove the bandages covering her eyes, desperate to see something... anything. But, even the small amount of light creeping in from her small adjustments had Andy squeezing her eyes shut tight again. Am I going blind? she thought for the second time, a surge of panic temporarily leaving her paralyzed. Am I...? No. Just breathe. I don't know anything yet. I don't... I... Breathe. Just breathe. Relax. Don't panic. Nobody has said anything yet. It might be temporary. Fixable.

With the bandages still acting as a blindfold, she strained to listen instead. Breathing… Snoring? She turned her head a little more. Sam? It was steady, and not overly loud, but loud enough that it was clear that someone was not only in the room, but sleeping too. And although it had been a long time since she'd heard it, there was an undeniable sense of familiarity that left her feeling certain that it was him. Her lips curled upward. He's still here. Sam's here... He stayed. The thought had a little more tension leaving her body, until she remembered the last time she was awake. Marlo. His silence. Lack of promise. But... But, if he changed his mind, he wouldn't still be here, would he? She drew in a shaky breath. He told me he loves me, that he needs me. Just a week ago, he actually told me… Surely he didn't change his mind in that amount of time? Wouldn't just say it if he didn't truly mean it…? Unless it was just the meds talking...? Fear ripped through her, leaving her trembling. Or maybe me not coming back made him change his mind…? Maybe he gave up, or Marlo showed up and he realized he was wrong about me… about us. That he wants her. That he made a mistake when he told me those things. She mentally shook herself. He said things with her were easy, and that he didn't want easy. That he wanted me. But maybe I'm too complicated, messed up. And…

A grunt from somewhere to her right had her head slowly turning, her heart racing as she listened for other signs of movement. Do I say something? Do I wait? What if he changed his mind? What if...? I wonder what he's thinking. She stiffened. Is he watching me? Staring at me with that insanely intense look? Or maybe he's wishing I was still out. Ugh. I just wanna see his face. See something. Know what he's thinking... God, it hurts to think. Why won't he just say something?

"You're in the hospital."

Really? That's what he's going to say? I already figured that out. She hesitated. Maybe he saw me freaking out. No, he would have spoken sooner. And, he was sleeping. "I… I know," Andy said quietly. She wet her lips before adding, "And so are you."

"Yeah, well, they decided to keep me for an extra day or two."

What? Did something happen? She jolted forward again, her head snapping completely in what she assumed was his direction, a cry simultaneously escaping her as a mix of pain and nausea crashed over her.

"Easy there, McNally."

Easy? She gripped each bed rail tightly in her hands, ignoring the pain in her right one as she attempted to steady herself. Then, chin tucked down to her chest she drew in a couple of deep breaths, waiting for the nausea to subside.

"Lie back."

She ignored him. "Oliver said you're doing well. He said they were maybe even thinking of letting you go early," Andy said, her heart rate picking up a notch. Does he have an infection? Did they find something else? Is he okay? He sounds okay. Tired, maybe, but okay... But, he's changed, so maybe I don't know him as well anymore... Maybe he...

"I am."

"Then…?" Andy began, a frown slowly forming on her face, but even the slight crinkling of her forehead caused more pain to shoot through her. Groaning, she resumed a neutral expression. Note to self, don't move. Don't make any facial expression. Don't do anything. Except, breathe. But even that kind of hurts. Hell, everything hurts.

"The hospital's a big place."

She leaned back against her pillows, gently massaging her throbbing temples. What does that even mean? Of course the hospital is a big place. But, what does that have to do with—?

"Had to make sure my partner was okay."

Wait, what? How long was I out for? How...? "Traci?" Andy gasped, fear gripping her, causing her heart to momentarily stop. "What... What happened? Is she okay? Is she—?"

"No," Sam said slowly. "You."

"Me?" Andy's mind was racing. That doesn't even make sense. How hard did I hit my head? Am I going crazy? "Sam, we haven't been partners for over a year." Right? I didn't dream about Nick and Marlo, did I? Maybe that wouldn't have been so bad, but then, where would we stand? Where do we stand? Man, this is confusing.

"Semantics, McNally."

Semantics? Ugh, not seeing him is even more frustrating than his responses. At least before I could maybe get a sense of what he meant by looking at him. But, now? Now what? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can't see him, and all he's giving me are vague answers and confusing statements. Like, really? ... Ugh, just forget about it. Listen. That's all I can count on right now: my hearing. Well, now that I'm not being blasted with a high-pitched wail. Focus. So what did he say? How did he say it? Semantics. Seeing his partner. Hospitals are big. What the...? A thought hit her. No. No, he wouldn't have. Well, actually, it's Sam. So, he probably did. But...? "Did you hurt yourself trying to find me?" she blurted out.

"I'm fine."

"Fine?" Andy asked in disbelief. Did he really just say that? And to me, of all people? "Sam, fine is the word people use when they don't want to admit how they actually feel."

"McNally, I'm fine," he growled out.

"Exactly. Fine. Which means, you aren't okay."

"It's nothing."

"They wouldn't keep you here for nothing, Sam. Being shot isn't nothing."

"I just agitated things a little. Nothing happened. It's no big deal."

No big deal? His release was delayed. That's kind of a big deal. "But—?"

"How are you feeling?" Sam interrupted.

Andy hesitated. How do I feel? Like I was hit by a bus, then run over... repeatedly. Or maybe by a bulldozer? A train? Whatever. I feel like every inch of me is bruised or broken. Like I can't breathe. Can't think. Hell, I can't see. I'm scared. Confused. What am I not feeling? Oh wait, that's easy. Normal. Whole.

"McNally?"

He's distracting me. Trying to throw me off from the real reason why he's here, whatever that is... But, it's not going to work. Nope. Sam Swarek is not going to avoid this one. "So, why are you here?" Her voice was quiet, but it carried across the largely silent room.

"The nurses seem to find me irresistibly charming," Sam teased. "Couldn't bear the thought of letting me go."

Right. As if he'd actually give me a serious answer. I mean, really, what did I expect? Him to profess his feelings again? To promise he wasn't going anywhere? To confirm that Marlo was gone from his life? That he still means what he said? It's not happening. It was a once in a lifetime thing... okay, maybe twice in a lifetime... The point is: Sam Swarek just isn't that guy. And I... I lost my chance. He finally told me, and I blew it. Twice. Swallowing hard, she said rather dryly, "I bet Marlo doesn't like that. Then again, she thinks..." Andy trailed off. Marlo thought it was juvenile to fight over a guy, to have any kind of squabble related to a man. But, Sam probably knew that. After all, Marlo was his girlfriend. Then again, he hadn't known his own girlfriend was bipolar. Whatever. Keep your mouth shut, and stop acting like a jealous ex. In a bid to keep the next words from tumbling out, Andy pressed her lips together, and, although she couldn't see, she turned her head so that it was facing straight ahead, determined to keep quiet. But, the silence that followed had her shifting uncomfortably. Did that sound a little hostile? It did, didn't it? And he's not saying anything. He heard it too. Had to have. I wasn't exactly quiet about it. She inwardly groaned. Stop acting like a child. He's allowed to be happy with someone else, even if I don't like it. He deserves to be happy. I just wish he'd say something. Anything. No, that's not entirely true. I wish he wasn't with her. That things hadn't gone south with us. But, I do want him to be happy. I do.

"And what about you?"

Huh? "What about me?"

"Bothers you, doesn't it?"

Oh. That. Andy knew the answer perfectly well. Hell, yes, it bothered her. As much as she hated to admit it, she wasn't exactly able to keep the little green monster at bay, at least not entirely. Just breathe. Don't say anything stupid. But, it wasn't as simple as that. The problem was, even if she knew the answer, she didn't know what to say because she certainly wasn't going to admit that she was jealous... That deep down she wanted his relationship with Marlo to fail... That she wanted him, all to herself... That she felt a surge of jealousy whenever she saw another woman look at him the wrong way... That the thought of him being with anyone but her made her feel sick. No, she couldn't admit to any of that, so instead, she repeated her question from earlier."Why are you here?"

"I was shot."

"No," Andy said, a slight edge to her tone. "I mean, why are you in here, with me?"

"Well, I was shot," Sam began again, "And you were hit by another car."

He's lucky I can't see him. Can't shake the answers out of him. I mean, really? He was shot, and I was hit by a car. Duh. Thanks Captain Obvious. Like, seriously? When did all of this turn into one big joke? Oh wait, day one, right? Because apparently I tried to kiss him when I tackled him. Yeah, okay. Thanks, Detective. Fine work you've done here. She bit back a dry laugh. "Sam… I know why we're here, so why don't you—"

"If you knew, you wouldn't ask," Sam replied rather simply.

Her fingers curled up until they formed fists. She was fairly certain he knew what she meant, but once again, he was reverting to humour. It brought back memories of the first time he'd told her that he loved her, and then almost immediately started cracking jokes about the number of bones in the human body. I'm not doing this again. I can't. I'm done. "Forget it," Andy said, biting back a frustrated sigh. It's never going to work with us. This is how it will always be. The second he opens up, he can't deal with it, so he laughs it off. Turns it all into one big joke.

"Why we're here?" Sam said. "Kind of hard to."

"Just stop." She blindly searched for the button to call the nurse, but couldn't find it. Where the hell is the stupid button? Where's the nurse? Anybody. Hell, just give me the first person who walks down the hallway. I don't care. I just need out of here. Now.

"Stop, what?"

"Do you even know how to be serious?" Andy asked, grunting as she moved her legs over the side of the bed and awkwardly slid off. Her knees shook a little, threatening to give out. Okay, maybe not such a good idea. But, I am not going to stick around for another few rounds of this, not when I don't even know what's wrong with me. Another surge of panic crashed over her, before rapidly vanishing again as an idea hit her. Maybe they should check him out again too, especially his head. Not that anything they do could make him less infuriating, or easier to understand. She drew in a steadying breath and braced herself. "You know what? Don't bother answering that. I already know. So just do us both a favour and tell me where the door is...?"

Though he didn't say anything, she could hear him moving.

"Or not," she muttered. Great. Alright, well, I can do this... on my own. No big deal. I can't see, but you know, it could be worse. At least my legs seem to be okay. She took a shaky step forward, but felt a small tug. What the...? Reaching behind her, she awkwardly followed the tube and sought out her IV pole, hoping that she wouldn't be stuck on anything else. Then, turning, she reached out with her other hand, frowning when her palm landed on something solid. Not a wall. Directing her head a little to the right, she listened. Nothing was coming from that direction. Well, this is awkward. Still, she didn't lower her hand.

"Running again?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice so close to her ear. "You should... You should be resting." Or doing something that doesn't involve me, she silently added.

He laughed dryly. "Take your own advice, McNally. I was about to be released; you pretty much just got here."

"Then leave. Or go do whatever you've been doing. Call your girlfriend. I don't know. But, I..." She drew in another deep breath, and weakly tried to move him out of her way.

He didn't budge.

"I don't need you." Andy continued, struggling to keep her voice from cracking. "I don't need you to be my hero anymore." She shook her head, her entire body trembling from the effort it took to hold back the tears... and stand. I don't need him... I don't... I don't need Sam Swarek. She pressed her lips together. If I say it enough times, it's gonna be true. It will be. Things change. And, I don't need him. I'm fine.

"McNally..."

Feeling a hand on her arm, Andy weakly brushed it away. "I'm fine." It sounded more compelling in her head. Stronger. Less questionable. So, she nodded, as if trying to convince herself that in some way it could possibly be true. And maybe, just maybe he'd believe it too. "Yeah, I'm fine… on my own..." she continued, trying to drive her point home. "Maybe not as good as I was with you, not yet, but I'm getting my life back together and I'm doing it by myself." She drew in a deep breath, silently cursing all the while. That wasn't supposed to come out. Definitely not. In an attempt to backtrack, she added, "So, I don't need you, Sam."

"You're right."

Andy froze. I am? She didn't realize she'd also verbalized the thought, until he spoke again.

"You don't need anybody. You're the lone wolf, remember? The cheese that stands alone."

"Yeah," Andy said quietly, so distracted by the words that she failed to really hear the sarcasm in his tone. Great. That's exactly what I wanted, right? It's what I was asking for? Yeah. Wonderful. Awesome. Fantastic. Just great.

"Okay... Well, the door is... seven steps forward, and five to the left," Sam said. "So, go. Prove that you don't need anyone. That you don't need me."

The air shifted around her, replaced by a feeling of emptiness that hit her hard. He's letting me go. He doesn't want me. She laughed inwardly. Why am I acting like I'm so surprised? Like it's so unexpected? I knew that. I know it. I've accepted it... or, I'm trying. And yet, it still hurts. No. It can't. I won't let it... somehow. Because I... I can do this on my own. I have to. Drawing in a shaky breath, Andy took one step forward, and then another, pausing when she heard something to her right. Is he following me? Walking with me? She wanted to reach out just to be sure, but she had to do this on her own. He had Marlo, and she had nothing. She couldn't keep relying on him. So, she took another couple of steps forward before the nausea really started to sink in. Dizziness washed over her, leaving her feeling like the room was spinning, and her legs would give out beneath her at any moment, a feeling that she suspected would be ten times worse if she could actually see the room. And that's when she felt his hand under her elbow, as if he knew. Dammit, Sam. She silently cursed him, wanting to hate him for knowing her so well... For letting one small action tell her that he knew she was lying. That she needed him. Her stubbornness went up a notch. In an attempt to reaffirm her position, she said, "I don't need you." But, instead of sounding sharp and determined, it came out as a whisper, the words almost choked out.

"Who are you trying to convince? Me, or you?"

"I don't. I don't need..." Her voice faltered. Who am I kidding? I need him. I want him. I... No, I can't... I...

"Why?" he cut in.

"I can't. I just... I can't." I can't go down that road again. The silence. The lack of communication. Not knowing if one day everything will be great, and the next day I'll be crying in a parking lot again. I mean, it's not like it even matters because we're not together. We're not. He chose her. But, even as friends or whatever, I can't. I don't know how. I don't know...

"Because I can't tell you what you want to hear? Is that it?"

"Yes," she blurted out. "No... I don't... I don't know." But, there it is, he can't tell me. And why? Because he doesn't feel anything for me. Not anymore. He changed his mind. He wants her. And now I'm giving him a hard time because I can't deal with it. Her shoulders sagged.

"You left," he reminded her. "Twice."

"Yeah, and you moved on." Why are we even talking about this? Again. It's irrelevant. It won't change anything. We don't feel the same way. At least, he doesn't.

"We talked about this already, McNally. You left. I thought it was over..."

"Yeah, fine. I screwed up. You screwed up. You're happy. I'm... whatever. End of story," Andy said, the words nearly tripping over one another. "So, why make this harder? Let's just drop it... I mean, I get it, okay?"

"No, you don't," Sam argued. "Because I was serious when I told you how I felt, and you walked away both times." Before she could speak, he continued, "And obviously that didn't get me very far, so why should I be serious now when you're already running again?"

"I'm not... That's not..." What would he even be serious about? I mean, really, is he going to tell me how he feels about Marlo? Can he even do that? He could hardly say how he felt about me. But, she's different. Yeah, he could probably do it for her. I mean, they work, right? Even Marlo said so. But, I don't want to hear that. Any of it.

"You are."

Hypocrite. Accuses me of running when he's only ever been completely honest about how he feels twice. And now certainly isn't one of those times. "I..." Her body began to sway a little, and without meaning to, she reached out, her hand finding his chest again and her fingers unintentionally fisting his shirt. "I'm..." Before she could get the rest of the sentence out, she felt his hands on her hips, steadying her, and causing her body to warm as the heat from his palms passed through her. Tears pricked her eyes. A lump formed in her throat. He said both times. That he was serious, but I walked away both times. So then, he really did mean what he said a week ago. But then...? It was all becoming too much. Too confusing. Too complicated. "Where's Marlo?"

"You might want to keep your newfound obsession with Cruz on the down-low, McNally. Collins might not appreciate it."

"My... What?" How dare he? I am not obsessed with Marlo. She can do whatever she wants. Be with Sam, or not. Okay, no. Preferably not. Definitely not. She pushed the thought aside, anger boiling in the pit of her stomach. "Yeah, well, I don't think she'd appreciate you being in here so much." Really, that's my comeback? She inwardly groaned. Smooth. Real smooth.

"It's my room too," Sam replied.

"What?" I definitely didn't hear that right. His room too? As in, my room and his? Like, our room? Who the hell decided on that? Are they crazy? I don't even think Marlo would be okay with it. Yeah, I'd like to see her be all calm and cool about it. Ha, see. Yeah, right. Guess I'm a real comedian now. Seriously though, our room? It's gotta be a joke. There's no way.

"We're roommates."

Or not. It took a minute for Andy's brain to catch up with everything. 'Collins might not appreciate it.' Roommates. Wait... Is he fishing for something? Kinda feels like he's trying to get something out of me. And his tone. He's gotta be fishing. But, no. There's no reason to. He has Marlo. And, even if thought he may have meant what he said before, he's changed his mind. "Nick and I broke up," she said slowly, not quite sure why she was telling him. Maybe just to have something to say. To prevent any awkward silence. Or to throw him off. "About a week ago."

Silence.

Yeah, that worked out well. I think I just made things even more awkward. Great. She bit back a sigh. Now, more than ever, she wished she could see him. If he hadn't been holding her up, she imagined he would be pinching the bridge of his nose. Maybe even stepping back to pace a few times. And sure, she should have come back to see him and tell him that little bit of information sooner, but she'd needed time. The question now was: had she taken too much? "Do you love her?"

There was a moment of silence. "Marlo?"

"Yeah," Andy replied, her voice barely audible. She'd heard the hint of anger in his voice, but wasn't sure what it meant.

"No," he said after a long moment. "I care about her, but I never… no."

Andy drew in a deep breath. He doesn't love her? But then, why...? "But you're with her...?"

"No."

There was a spell of silence. He's not with her. He's not... What the hell is going on? Why didn't he just tell me that to begin with? She bit down on her lower lip. I guess I didn't exactly tell him about Nick right away either. Except, maybe he didn't tell me because, even without her, he changed his mind about me... about wanting to be with me. Maybe. So... so maybe I need to... to say something...? "I wanted to come." Feeling a gentle pressure on her hips, she took a small step back, allowing him to guide her back to the bed and help her sit on the edge.

"Then why didn't you?" His voice sounded much softer now, though there was still a hint of anger there.

"I was scared," she whispered. "Scared of what it could mean. Of going down the same path, making the same mistakes, and getting hurt again. And of… of letting myself feel… feel it again. And then you're with..." She shook her head and corrected herself. "You were with her." There was a small pause. "It's just... this is so messed up, Sam. It's messed up and complicated. And I can't go through it again. I can't get my hopes up, thinking that everything will be okay, that it will be better this time... and then wake up one day and have it all come crashing down around me. I can't do it."

"I don't want to hurt you," Sam said quietly.

She felt something hit her knees. His thighs?

"I never wanted to hurt you."

Without realizing it, her knees parted, allowing him to step between her legs and move even closer. "I know," she whispered, and she really did believe him. The problem was, he hadn't intended to hurt her the first time, but he had. Badly too. And what was to say that it wouldn't happen again? "I just… I can't go through it again."

Silence.

"But I'm also scared not to," Andy added. When he still didn't respond, her left hand carefully rose to his face, her fingers trailing along it in an attempt to gauge his reaction. There was a tenseness to his features, and yet, when her fingers found his lips, she was sure that they twitched. "I don't want to lose you," she continued, hearing the emotion in her own voice and knowing that it was only a matter of time before the tears spilled over and she completely lost it.

"You won't."

"How do you know?" Her head automatically tilted, leaning into his touch as his hands came to gently rest on her face.

"Because I know..."

She could hear the slight hesitation, and sensed that he was struggling with the words.

"I know that letting you go was a mistake." His thumbs lightly slid across her cheeks in a soothing motion. "And not trying to get you back would be a bigger one."

Her mouth fell open. What? Did he...? Did...? She could feel tears escaping, soaking into the bandages that were covering her eyes. "We might screw up again," she whispered almost fearfully.

"I won't let it happen," Sam replied. "Not this time."

She both heard and felt him move a little closer.

"I know what I want now, McNally. I want—"

Finger sliding back to his lips, she silenced him. "I..." She drew in a deep breath. "I want this, I do. I just think I need a little more time to get back on my feet first."

Silence.

He was going to say he wants me, right? Maybe I should have let him finish. "I, umm, I just don't wanna screw this up, and with everything going on and everything that's happened, I think I need to figure some things out first." She paused. "But… but I love you, Sam. And, I want us to work. I do. If that's what you want too... But, I'm scared. Terrified... but I wanna try. Just umm, not yet. I don't wanna rush things. I want..."

"You want to be friends?" he asked slowly, the words mumbled against her finger.

"Yes... No." She lowered her hand, but hesitated. "No. I want… I want us. I'm just not sure if my head is in the right place to jump back in. I mean, I don't even think we can, not if we want things to really work this time."

"So…?" Sam pressed, the word etched with confusion.

"So, I think we should take things slowly."

"And how do we do that?"

"I don't know."

"So that means I can't kiss you?" he asked.

Andy's mouth fell open again before her cheeks inflated with warm air. Wow. Can he kiss me? She hesitated. Yeah, yeah he can. I mean, he knows how. He definitely knows how. But should he... now? Feeling his body shake a little, she let out the air. He was silently laughing – she was almost certain of it – and no doubt it was because of her reaction. Yet, she suspected he actually wanted an answer, a serious one. "I..." She hesitated again. His breath had been fanning out across her face for the last few minutes and she'd be lying again if she said that thoughts of kissing him hadn't crossed her mind... more than once. A lot more. But, she'd just finished telling him that they had to take things slow, that if they were going to work, they had to be different. More than that though, she'd said she needed more time. But, was that really what she wanted or needed? Because at that moment, all Andy seemed to want were his lips on hers. "I…" she tried again. Oh god, she thought as she felt his hands still, and his breath become a little heavier and hotter on her face. Her heart rate skyrocketed. He's going to kiss me.

"Is that a yes or no?"

"No," she blurted out. "I mean, yes." Breathe. "I mean..." Whether it was her lack of vision that was enhancing her other senses – despite the medication and pain – or the fact that it had been so long since they'd been this close, she felt alive… on fire… crawling with sensations… anticipation. And, although she was serious about taking things slowly, her body and mind were betraying her. Without meaning to, she leaned in a little closer, a small whimper escaping her.

"What do you mean, McNally?" he whispered.

"Sam," she whined.

"Andy?"

"No," she breathed. No, no, what am I doing? I said slow. Take it back. Say yes. Tell him: yes, that's exactly what it means. That he can't kiss me. No. No. I don't want to say that. I want... Feeling his lips brush up against her jaw, she sucked in a sharp breath, angling her head a little to expose more of her neck. So wrong, but it feels so right. So right.

"Tell me to stop and I will." His voice was quiet, and so full of concern, but also... love?

Her breathing became heavier as his lips shifted and he placed a soft kiss on her neck. Every little movement seemed so gentle, but it was enough – more than enough – to cover her in goosebumps and send shivers up and down her spine, even with the heat from his lips and skin washing over her neck and cascading down to the rest of her body. She swallowed hard. If this was how she was reacting now, what would happen when he kissed her on the lips? I'm a goner, Andy thought, groaning out loud when she realized that she wasn't thinking in terms of if he kissed her on the lips, but when he did.

And just like that everything stopped, leaving her feeling bewildered, until he spoke.

"A simple yes would have sufficed," Sam said.

What? Oh no. The groan. He thinks... No. No, no, no, no. "That's not. No. Sam, no, that's..." Spit it out. Andy could feel him pull away. "Wait," she choked out.

"You're not ready. I shouldn't have pushed..."

"No, that's not... Okay, well, yeah it's not exactly slow. But that's not... I didn't mean..." Andy let out a frustrated sigh. "I lied," she whispered, worrying her lower lip between her teeth as she reached out for him, doing her best not to hurt him as she tried to keep him close. "It isn't the end of the story. At least, I don't want it to be. Because…" She paused, drawing in a deep breath. "Because you're my story, Sam… You. And, when I said it in the ambulance, I thought you were... I thought you were going to die. And I was scared. More scared than I've ever been. But I meant it. I meant it, Sam. I love you. I do. I—" Her words were cut off as his warm lips touched hers, engaging her in a series of short but sweet kisses. And then, nothing. Her hands rose in a bid to pull him back in, but they moved a little too high. Hearing him softly curse, she promptly removed her thumb from his eye. "Sorry," she whispered, wanting to bury her head in his chest to hide her embarrassment, but afraid that she'd somehow further agitate his gunshot wound or hurt him in another way.

"Trying to even the playing field? ...I mean, McNally, do you really think that two temporarily blind idiots is better than one?"

"I... I didn't..." Hearing him chuckle softly, she fell silent.

"Right here, McNally."

Her lips curled upward upon hearing the gentleness in his tone, and feeling his hands move hers to what she assumed was a safer place. "Wait... so this is temporary?"

"You didn't hear what the doctor said?" Confusion and surprise were clear in his tone.

"Well, no. I mean, I remember something about squeezing his hand."

"Let me get this straight... You've been awake and coherent for at least half an hour, and you didn't even think to ask about your condition? I thought you knew."

"Well, I..." Andy groaned. "That's not fair. You... I..." She let out a frustrated sigh. "I was distracted."

"Distracted, huh?"

Her response was lost as his mouth found its way back to hers. "Cheater," Andy muttered. "But you know, we still..." Kiss. "...need..." Kiss. "...to..." Kiss.

"To?" Sam prodded.

"Slow," she blurted out, not sure if he'd let her say more than a word this time. But he did, so she quickly added, "To take it slow."

"Okay," he agreed.

She felt his lips touch her forehead before vanishing from her skin altogether, leaving her feeling like she was suddenly missing something. So, despite her reservations, she carefully pulled him in for another kiss.

"McNally?"

"Yeah?" she mumbled against his lips. Just hurry up and kiss me again.

"Not that I'm complaining, but, uh, does your version of slow mean kissing slowly like you just did, or...?"

"Shut up," Andy said, a small laugh escaping her. Jerk. That is not what I meant and he knows it. Such a tease. I mean, really? Ugh. This is his fault anyway. He kissed me. She struggled to bite back a smile. Yeah, all his fault, she thought, silently laughing. Can't see him, but I still can't resist him. I'm hopeless. A lost cause. Doomed.

"Hey, I'm just trying to play by your rules."

"Tomorrow," Andy breathed, before kissing him again. "Tomorrow is slow..."

"Tomorrow?"

She pulled back a little, breathing a little heavier than before, which really didn't help with the pain at all, but she didn't want to stop. For the first time in over a year, she felt lighter. More hopeful. Happier. "No, you're right," Andy said, shaking her head. "We can't do this... We shouldn't be."

"Hey, I didn't say that," Sam argued.

Anticipating his next move, she quickly put her hand over her mouth, feeling his lips against the back of it instead. Hearing a deep growl in the back of his throat, she lowered her arm and smiled softly. "This isn't going to be easy."

"Not kissing you? Yeah," he muttered. "It's your rule book though. I think that means you can change it too. Or just, you know, throw it out."

Andy's smile grew before faltering. "No... I meant making us work this time."

"We'll figure it out," Sam said softly.

She nodded as he guided her into a lying position, her head falling back until it sunk into the pillows. "Sam?"

"Yeah, McNally?"

"I do need you." Feeling his lips against her forehead, she reached out for his hand, fumbling around until she found it. "Stay?"

"My bed is three feet from yours."

"Stay," she repeated, this time in a whisper.

"Thought you wanted to take it slow? And you know if I get on there, you might not be able to kick me off tomorrow."

She knew it would be hard, but she also knew that he would move if she asked him. She just wasn't sure if she could. Still, she wanted him to stay with her, to hold onto that feeling a little longer because as determined as she was not to rush things even more, this just felt right. "I do... I want to take it slow this time. I want to get it right. But, maybe... maybe tonight we can just lie here...? Like a one time thing until we're ready. Like an exception, you know?" When he didn't answer, she let out a loud breath. "Or not. You're right. It's probably best if we don't..."

The bed sagged a little just seconds later, followed by a slight pressure against her arm.

"Didn't think you'd try to get me back in bed so soon," Sam teased.

"If I hadn't almost taken out your eye, I'd smack you for that."

"I can think of a better idea," he replied, his tone suggestive.

"How about we just get some rest?" she said as she awkwardly turned onto her side and cuddled up to him. Yeah, this feels right. It feels... great... natural. "This okay?"

"Yeah."

She heard him grunt a little before feeling his arm wrap around her. "Does it hurt?"

"No."

Smiling, Andy rested her head against his shoulder, lying there in silence for several minutes before finally speaking again. "I wish I could freeze this moment. Make it so that we could stay like this... So tomorrow would never come." The words came out in a whisper.

"I dunno McNally, tomorrow is looking a lot better now than it did this morning."

She tilted her head upward until her lips touched his skin.

"If you were aiming for my lips, you were a little off," Sam teased.

"Maybe tomorrow my aim will be better," she replied. "Or not."

"They say practice makes perfect."

She kissed him again. "Practicing today is going to make tomorrow harder."

"It doesn't have to end. We can still do things right."

"You know it has to be different this time," Andy said softly, finding his hand and linking her fingers with his. She felt him nod, then press a kiss to her forehead. "But for today, this is... this is nice. And tomorrow... tomorrow we start a new chapter."

Thanks again for reading! Let me know what you think...

And a side-note to anyone wondering if I have more for this story or any other (aka, if I plan on finishing all of them), the answer is a big YES. Any story I start, I'll finish, so don't worry about that. Sometimes it's just a matter of finding the time to fix up the original version or scrap it and re-write it altogether.

Also, for those of you reading my other stories, the next update will likely be Haunted or Finding Our Way.

Anyway, hope to see you around for the next chapter! :-)

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