Notes: This story is the third in the Samantha Shepard series, following (1) First Life and (2) Only Hope Remains. This installment is basically ME2, with some AU twists with "extras." Some new characters were introduced, so you may want to start with First Life if you want to figure out who they are... or who my Shepard is, other than paragon space-born hero vanguard. It has a few plot twists and changes of sequencing, but I don't believe there will be anything you can't figure out by context... hope you enjoy!

References:

Casca Rufio Longinus, The Eternal Mercenary, series by Barry Sadler

Best Laid Plans

Commander Samantha Shepard sat in the Cerberus shuttle staring out the window but seeing nothing. She was still trying to wrap her head around what the hell was happening with her life. At least she hoped it was her life, and not some clone or highly advanced artificial intelligence (AI) that only thought it was Commander Shepard. God, how did I get here...? The last thing she remembered from her 'real life' was being spaced as the Normandy disintegrated around her; her life as she knew it should have been over, yet here she was, supposedly in the flesh, with only a vague back-story to fill in the gaps. Project Lazarus. I have risen from the dead. Maybe this was the worst part of Hell; to make someone think they actually had a second chance at life, just to rip it all away again. She was sitting in the shuttle, but even for her it was hard to believe. As long as it's Lazarus and not Casca Rufio Longinus! I don't want to wander forever as a soldier, never knowing peace!

She remembered a brief glance of Lawson and Wilson when she woke once before, apparently an attempt on Wilson's part to get rid of her, saved only by Miranda walking in for an unscheduled check before she went to bed. Bad luck for Wilson, because that was when Lawson started to suspect something was up. Bad luck because Lawson was very good at what she did; she started checking into his actions and discovered Wilson was working with the Shadow Broker. People who crossed Cerberus tended to end up dead. Just like Dad. Yet, here Shepard was, sitting in a Cerberus shuttle, actually contemplating working with them. No; she planned to use their resources to get back to the Alliance and then find Liara at the first opportunity. Now that's a plan.

Freedom's Progress had been an eye opener; Collectors! Shepard briefly wondered if the ship that attacked the Normandy was a Collector ship. It would fit the limited data she received before it blew the Normandy into nothingness... or better, the data they didn't receive because the vessel had matched no known signatures. They hadn't known what the hell it was, just that it packed one hell of a punch; a punch strong enough to rip the Normandy in half and kill her. Or so she thought at the time. She couldn't really have died and been resurrected... could she? One good thing about whatever it was that happened to her was she no longer suffered from any of the Prothean beacon nightmares. Somehow, they were no longer prevalent; maybe her subconscious just blocked them because they were no longer relevant. The dreams had gotten them to Ilos and given them a heads up on the Reapers; the beacon had served its purpose and they had stopped the immediate threat of Sovereign. Of course it didn't really matter, because her nightmares had just been replaced; now she dreamt about dying. Constantly reliving the last breaths you ever thought you would take was definitely bad. Another bad thing was her new body; it was strong and fast, no mistaking that, with its enhanced skeleton and cybernetic improvements, but it wasn't hers. Same size, same shape, same face; she weighed more because of her alloy-enhanced skeleton, but all her old scars, the visible memories of her past, where she came from, how she became who she was... they were all gone. Most people would be thrilled, but for Shepard, it was like her history had been erased. In the most basic sense, it looked like her, but one doesn't go through death and a rebirth without coming out changed. So, she sat on a Cerberus shuttle and whether she wanted it or not, whether she was ready or not, the purpose of her new lease on life was to stop the Collectors, no matter who she worked with.

She arrived back at the Cerberus base station and went directly to the communications room to speak with the Illusive Man, whom Shepard referred to as TIM. She thought 'The Illusive Man' was too damn pretentious. When the image solidified, the voice spoke, "Shepard. Good work on Freedom's Progress." TIM was surprised that the Quarians actually forwarded the data from Veetor's debrief, given their history with Cerberus. Shepard was derisive, and told him he should try playing nice one in a while, that he might be surprised by the results. TIM countered that some of their more radical operations made their reputation one that didn't allow them to play nice and get results. More important to him was Shepard's confirmation that the Collectors were definitely involved in the disappearances. He then stressed again that the Council and the Alliance were ignoring the issue by insisting the Reaper threat ended with Sovereign, and they had spent the last two years sweeping it under the rug and discrediting any stories about a continued threat. TIM then stated, "I won't wait until the Reapers are on the march. We need to take the fight to them."

Shepard agreed with the strategy and looked straight at the Illusive Man. "If this is a war, and I'm going to lead it, I need a really good team. I need my team."

"I've already compiled a list of soldiers, scientist, and mercenaries. You'll get dossiers on the best of them as we determine their locations. Catching up to them and convincing them to work with you could be challenging, but you're a natural leader. I have confidence you'll do just fine. While you put your team together, I'll continue to track the Collectors. When they make their next appearance, I'll put you and your team on an intercept course."

Shepard told TIM to keep his list. "I already told you, I need my team. I want people I trust, the ones who helped me stop Saren and the Geth."

TIM wasn't swayed. "That was two years ago, Commander. Most of them have moved on or fell off the grid, like Ashley Williams and Garrus Vakarian. Williams is on some special project, location unknown. Dr T'Soni is on Illium, working for the Shadow Broker and can't be trusted. Garrus Vakarian worked for her for a while when she started as an information broker, but when she changed allegiances, Vakarian refused to work with her anymore and disappeared. I don't know where he is now, and our sources have been unable to locate him."

Shepard was dumbstruck by the idea of Liara working for the Shadow Broker, but tried to not let her surprise show. Sam didn't believe it, and if that piece of information proved false, which Shepard believed was the case, then little else the Illusive Man was saying could be trusted. If only I had known that before I saw Tali! She could have checked it out for me! Without an independent source of intel, Shepard was at a severe disadvantage. She realized it was nothing she hadn't overcome before and pressed on. "What about Wrex?"

TIM stated flatly, "You know he returned to Tuchanka, and I know he hasn't gone off world since. He's working to unite the Krogan clans and convince them to find a cure to the Genophage. You're welcome to try, but he completely ignored all our attempts at contact." Shepard crossed her arms and thought, yeah...because he has soooo many reasons to trust you!

"And Tali? She already helped us on Freedom's Progress. She said she had another mission. If we can find out what that is and I help her finish it, maybe she'll join us." Samantha didn't hold much hope for that; Tali had been pretty firm in turning Shepard down when she asked the first time, but it still might be nice to know what she's working on.

TIM was evasive, but didn't shoot down the possibility completely, answering, "That was unexpected. I need more intel before I can commit to that."

Shepard just shook her head in disgust, not that she expected true cooperation from Cerberus anyway. "Okay, I get it. They're not available. Send me the dossiers and I'll start looking them over."

TIM took a long drag on his cigarette then said, "Good. Two things before you go. First, head to Omega and find Mordin Solus. He's a brilliant Salarian scientist. He's our best shot at finding a way to counteract the Collector seeker swarms."

Shepard nodded in agreement. "Sounds logical. That will be essential to future operations. Can't do much if we're stuck in some sort of stasis. What's the second thing?"

TIM looked smug for a moment, and then announced, "I found a pilot I think you might like. I hear he's one of the best. Someone you can trust." With that, the Illusive Man abruptly cut the transmission.

Before Shepard could even turn around she heard the unmistakable voice of Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau. "Hey, Commander. Just like old times, huh?"

Shepard was mostly quiet, but Joker spoke for a long time, telling her the tale of woe of how everything fell apart when she disappeared. The Council disavowed anything and everything about the Reapers, claiming Sovereign was just an advanced Geth ship. They got no support from the Alliance, and the team was broken up and everyone's records were sealed. Then he said that he got grounded. All Joker had ever wanted to do was fly and he was the best the Alliance had to offer, yet they grounded him. When Cerberus told him about Shepard and offered him a chance to fly again, all he could say was 'hell, yes!" Samantha asked him if he trusted the Illusive Man and Joker let out a sad laugh, "Well, I don't trust anybody who makes more money than me, but they're not all bad. Saved your life... and let me fly."

Shepard looked at the pilot, "And you don't question my being here at all?"

Joker laughed, "Sure, I question it, but I questioned you being dead too. A few of us...me, Garrus, and of course Liara. As far as we were concerned, no body, no proof. The Alliance just quit looking, and we all hated them for it."

The entire time he was filling her in on what happened while she was gone, he was slowly leading the way to a viewing platform. Once they got there, he stopped and hit a button. As the lights came up on the other side of the windows, Jeff said reverently, "And there's this. They only told me last night." Shepard stood in the hallway with her hands on her hips, looking into a large hangar. As the lights came up, they slowly revealed a beautiful sleek frigate. She was shaped like the Normandy SR-1, but much larger, almost twice the size, and painted in Cerberus black and yellow, but Samantha thought she looked beautiful. Shepard looked at Joker and he smiled, saying "It's good to be home, huh, Commander?"

Shepard let out a low whistle and said, "I guess we'll have to give her a name." Two days later, the Normandy SR-2 left the hangar on her maiden voyage headed for Omega. Samantha couldn't believe it; the Normandy was a beautiful ship, very similar to the SR-1, but its increased size allowed several upgrades. Miranda Lawson gave her the full tour. When they first came in through the airlock, they entered the Normandy on what was considered Deck 2. The SR-1 only had three decks, but the SR-2 had five. A huge cockpit was on her left; it was much more spacious than on the SR-1 and included a weapons station and co-pilot's chair. To the right was an elevated walkway with multiple recessed workstations running down each side of the ship. It was the work center of the SR-2. At the far end, Shepard could see the Combat Information Center, very similar to the CIC on the original Normandy, with a huge holographic representation of the ship and an interactive galactic navigation map. It all looked very familiar, just bigger with a lot more working room. The room itself was kind of shaped like an egg with the map area sitting in the wider end of the irregular oval, with additional navigation and operations stations continuing along the outside bulkheads. Other sections on Deck 2 included the armory and a research lab, as well as a briefing and communications room.

As Samantha stood at the end of the walkway surveying the room, Jacob Taylor walked up and welcomed her aboard the new Normandy, and introduced her to a unique feature of the new ship. The Enhanced Defense Intelligence, or Edi, was the ship's artificial intelligence; Shepard crossed her arms and stared at the projection in front of her. "Helmsmen aren't happy when someone takes control of the ship way from them. Especially Joker." In a rather sexy female voice, Edi informed the commander that she was restricted to electronic and cyber warfare suites and that she could observe and offer analysis and advice, nothing more. At no time was she able to interface with the ship's other systems. Shepard figured that might appease Joker, but she doubted it. There was also a new position in the CIC, filled by Yeoman Kelly Chambers. She was a personal assistant to the commander, completing various tasks from screening incoming messages to providing crew readiness evaluations. Shepard figured anybody who got some of the crap paperwork off her desk had to be worthwhile.

Lawson continued the tour, going all the way down to the bottom of the ship, Deck 5. There wasn't much to see; it was the hangar deck and the SR-2 was equipped with a standard Kodiak shuttle and a prototype hovercraft, the M-44 Hammerhead tank. Deck 4 included Engineering, and port and starboard cargo areas. The engineers were introduced as Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels. Operative Lawson realized the introductions were all quick, but promised Shepard she'd have plenty of time to get to know the crew during transit toward Omega. Deck 3 included crew quarters, mess-hall, life support, medical bay, the AI core and The XO's office, as well as port and starboard observation lounges. The crew quarters were actually that; instead of rows of sleeping pods like the original Normandy, the crew had actual rooms and everything was civilian grade instead of military grade accommodations. Unlike the economy kitchen on the SR-1, there was a full kitchen, run by Mess Sergeant Gardner.

When Samantha walked into the Medical Bay, she couldn't believe her eyes. "Karin!" With three quick full strides, Shepard was across the room and grabbed a very surprised Karin Chakwas up into a hug. Samantha released the surprised doctor from the hug but still held her by the shoulders, saying "It is so good to see a familiar face...especially yours, Karin."

Karin smiled, and spoke very reservedly, working hard to contain her emotions, "Commander Shepard. I watched the Normandy crumble with you on board. You mother and I attended your memorial service. I never thought I'd see this day!"

Shepard beamed, unable to believe Karin was on board. "Karin, I need to finish my inaugural tour, but I will be back and we'll talk. I promise you that!"

Karin gave her quick hug and told her, "I'll hold you to that, Commander!"

Shepard turned to Lawson to finish the tour. "All that's left is your quarters on Deck 1, Commander. Shall we?" Shepard was awestruck when she walked into the captain's quarters. The room was positively huge, with the left hand wall by the entryway being dominated by a huge fish tank. The tank's backlighting was a wonderful shade of blue that made her heart ache, thinking of a certain Asari she had yet to locate on Illium, Shadow Broker be damned. On the right was a spacious office with the obligatory computer terminals and a large see-through glass display, with a model of the Normandy inside. Cerberus must have known about her penchant for model collecting, though it just made her sad to know that her entire collection had been destroyed with the Normandy SR-1. There were also a number of empty bookshelves, also devoid of all her personal books; the office was just a sad reminder of days gone by. Besides the office, there was a full up bathroom with a sizeable shower, much more than the little cubbyhole on the old Normandy, so this one was definitely an upgrade.

As she walked further into the room, there was a short set of only three steps leading down to the main living space. A very nice leather sectional couch with a couple of lounge chairs and a central table dominated the space, with a small personal desk and a very empty queen bed. There was a small closet, with a personal armor locker, which was a nice touch. No need to change with the rest of the crew down in the general armory. At least she'd have some modicum of privacy from most of the Cerberus crew. She pulled up her omnitool to run a scanning program and stopped short. This isn't my old omnitool. All my special programs are gone. She turned to Operative Lawson and asked her point blank, "How many monitoring cameras are in this room?"

The operative was taken aback by the question. "What do you mean, Commander?"

Shepard looked at her, shaking her head. "You think I'm an idiot? I know you're going to monitor your 'experiment' so don't treat me like a fool. How many?"

Lawson shrugged. "Three cameras; one monitoring entry, one in the office and a wide angle facing the living room and the steps up. The bed and the bathroom are not monitored."

Shepard sighed. "Video only, or do they include sound?"

Operative Lawson shook her head. "There are separate audio receptors that cover the entire space...For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Commander, but I'm sure you understand the necessity. At least at the beginning. Perhaps later, we'll be able to cut back a bit."

Shepard just grumped, "Save it, Lawson. I get it. I'm a four billion credit lab rat. Surprise, surprise. Feel free to go do whatever it is you do. Thanks for the tour. I'm going to review the dossiers, then walk around and get to know the crew a bit. Give me a two-hour out call for Omega."

"As you wish, Shepard. But do try to get some sleep in there somewhere. Your body still needs to finish healing, since your recovery was so rudely interrupted by Dr Wilson."

After Lawson left, Shepard sat at her desk and pulled up the dossiers. The first she reviewed belonged to Mordin Solus, the Salarian scientist. He actually did sound pretty good, being both a biological weapons expert and a member of the STG, so Shepard committed herself to getting him on board. Wonder if he knows Kirrahe, and what the heck is he doing running a clinic on Omega? She did a quick review of the other dossiers, and realized that two other potential crew in addition to Solus were also located at Omega; a mercenary and respected bounty hunter by the name of Zaeed Massani, and a small-unit mercenary commander, codename Archangel. Christ, not even a real name? How the hell am I supposed to find him? Their dossiers were somewhat slim, but since she would be on Omega anyway, Shepard saw no reason to not check them out. None of the other current dossiers had any mention of Omega, so the commander decided to take her first crew-walk aboard the Normandy SR-2.

Immediately out of the elevator on Deck 2 was Yeoman Kelly Chambers. Shepard initially thought she was pleasant enough, and they actually looked a lot alike; Kelly could be her younger sister. Kelly's degree in psychology was an added bonus for completing the crew evaluations, but Shepard had her fill of psychological evaluations in her Alliance career and figured she'd steer clear of personal discussions with the Yeoman. Shepard was convinced any findings would go straight to TIM, and maybe make a stop with Operative Lawson along the way. No need to add fuel to the fire. Besides, the more they talked, the more Shepard thought either Kelly had a severe case of hero worship, or part of her unofficial duties were to get close to the commander; just how close was still up for debate. Either way, after speaking with Kelly, Shepard had the feeling that she needed to focus on keeping their relationship strictly professional. She normally liked to get one-on-one with her crew, but felt that would not be a wise path with the young Yeoman.

After shedding herself of Yeoman Chambers, Shepard headed to the bridge to chat with Joker. He was ecstatic with the new Normandy. The minute she stepped onto the bridge, he swiveled his chair around, exclaiming, "Can you believe this, Commander? It's my baby, better than new! It fits me like a glove! And leather seats!" He continued to rant on about how wonderful the new ship was until Edi spoke up. At that point, Jeff looked at the little blue pop-up hologram and said, "And there's the downside. I liked the Normandy when she was beautiful and quiet. Now she's got this thing I don't want to talk about. It's like ship cancer."

Shepard just shook her head. "Joker, it's Cerberus. What do you expect? We still need to move ahead with the mission and use their resources, but it doesn't mean we need to trust them. Keep your eyes and ears open, and your mouth closed. Oh, and Joker? A word of advice...if there's an abandon ship call on this Normandy, get your ass to the escape pod. I'm not staying behind for you a second time."

Joker looked at her for a second before responding. "Way to kill my mood, Shepard. Anyway... as far as Cerberus goes, you're probably right. I guess it's hard to argue when they install an AI to spy on us... but the seats are real leather!"

Shepard just looked at him before she left the Bridge, "Good to see you're keeping it all in perspective, Joker."

Though interested in eventually comparing the new Hammerhead to the Jiris she and Liara had on their private transport, Shepard saw no immediate reason to revisit the hangar deck, so headed down to Engineering. When she walked in, Engineer Donnelly turned around in amazement. "You came all the way down here just to see us?"

Before Shepard had any chance to respond, Engineer Daniels snapped a smart salute and exclaimed, "You're speaking to our commanding officer!"

Shepard laughed lightly and responded, "Relax, Daniels, I'm just touring the ship and getting to know my crew." It quickly became evident that Donnelly was much more laid back than Daniels and not very military oriented, so Shepard queried how they got assigned to the Normandy. She was surprised to find they were both prior Alliance, had graduated from the same engineering technical class, and had been stationed together on the SSV Perugia during the Battle of the Citadel. After the original Normandy was destroyed, Donnelly was very vocal about the Alliance attempts to discredit Shepard's belief in the Reapers and landed himself in hot water with the military; it also got him the invitation from the Illusive Man. While less vocal, Daniels held the same beliefs and liked working with Donnelly, so followed him to Cerberus. With the Normandy's state-of-the-art technology and Cerberus seeming to be the only organization taking continued action against the Reapers, they both thought it was a relatively easy decision. Before the commander left them, she asked if they were lacking anything they needed. The two engineers said they had everything, but Donnelly admitted their daily maintenance could be greatly reduced if they had some improved field bleed attenuators for the primary power transfer system array. Shepard raised her eyebrows and said, "Ok, you want to pass that by me again, in a form I can actually understand?" Engineer Daniels simplified it immensely, telling the commander they needed a pair of T6-FBA couplings, and Donnelly expanded on the issue, informing the commander that it was a discontinued item and would probably only be found in a used parts market like what they might find on Omega. Before she headed up to Deck 3, Shepard promised the two engineers she would look for the couplings while on station.

Deck 3 was actually a pretty nice living space for a frigate class vessel; it definitely showed the civilian touch for the included comforts. The starboard observation lounge had a small library and the portside lounge had a small entertainment center and a bar. On her way to visit Operative Lawson, Shepard spoke with the Mess Sergeant, and he seemed rather personable, if not just a little bit odd. As long as he could cook, Shepard didn't really care. When she asked if he needed anything, he actually coughed up a shopping list of ingredients that would greatly improve the quality of the meals he could provide. Shepard figured with the task they had set before them, coming back to a good meal was well worth the trouble of a shopping trip, so willingly added it to her list of things to do.

Miranda looked up as Shepard entered her office, closing down the terminal she was working on. "Commander. What can I do for you?"

They had a brief chat about the XO responsibilities aboard the Normandy, and Shepard mentioned the T6-FBA couplings. "And it's not just the couplings, Miranda. I want you to maintain an ongoing upgrade program. I want ideas from every new person we bring on board, any new technology we run across...if it has any application to the Normandy to improve weapons, armor, engine efficiency, whatever; I want it. Get the crew thinking...I want to bring the best damn ship we can bring to the fight with the Collectors."

Miranda nodded as she spoke, "I'll make a point of it, Commander. I think that's an excellent idea."

Once they were done talking business, Shepard asked Miranda about herself. The operative hadn't been very forthcoming when Shepard tried to speak to her before Freedom's Progress, but if they were going to be working together, the commander figured she had the right to know who she was working with. Surprisingly enough, Miranda agreed and gave her a quick rundown. "Well, you should probably know I've had extensive genetic modification. Not my decision, but I make the most of it; I'm very good at just about anything I choose to do."

At that comment, Shepard shifted her weight to one leg and crossed her arms over her chest. "You certainly don't lack for confidence."

Miranda stood up and placed a hand on her hip, continuing, "It's just a fact. My reflexes, my strength, even my looks...they're all designed to give me an edge. No point in hiding from it. It's the reason I'm trusted to oversee the most dangerous, risky and technically demanding operations Cerberus undertakes. It's why I'm here. It's my job to make sure you succeed, Shepard."

Shepard got very curious, "So, what kinds of enhanced abilities are we talking about, and how does it compare to what you did to me?"

Miranda took pride in her work, and was happy to explain. "It's very thorough, you even more so than me because your technology is newer, so it's even more advanced. Physically, we're superior in many ways; I already mentioned improved strength and reflexes, and you already know you have an alloy-enhanced skeletal system to improve your bone strength; it should greatly improve the effectiveness of your Vanguard-charge. Plus, we both heal faster and age slower than average humans, and our biotics are augmented, so while not up to Asari standards, still much stronger than normal human biotics."

Shepard uncrossed her arms and stood up straight, her complete focus on Miranda's statement. "In our line of work, healing fast is good, but can you define 'age slower than average humans' for me, please?"

Miranda shrugged and replied, "Certainly. I'll probably live half again as long as the average human, so instead of 150, I probably have a 225-year lifespan. You, I'm not exactly sure yet. Your technology has a ten-year jump on mine, and I'm sure you probably realize the kinds of improvements that can be made in a ten-year timeframe in the world of technology. A conservative estimate is probably 400 years, but the technology is untested, so we'll have to monitor the nanite effectiveness to get a more accurate estimate. I won't even guess at the potential until I have more data."

Miranda was so matter-of-fact, but Shepard was staggered by the statement. "You... wait... 400? And that's conservative?"

"Yes, Commander. We'll have a better idea after a few missions; when you've put some stress on the nanites and we can get more complete data. Sorry, you seem a bit shocked... I should have anticipated that and delivered that news a bit more gently. I apologize. Are you alright, Commander?"

Shepard stared at Lawson for a couple of seconds before responding. "I... uh... yeah. I'll be fine. Just a bit to take in, is all." Shepard blinked a couple of times and ran her hand through her hair before she continued. "I'm sure I'll have more questions, but, um, that kind of blew me away, so I'll come back when I can think of 'em."

Miranda looked at her appraisingly, "Of course, Commander. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here to answer what I can."

Shepard started to leave the room but then turned one last time to the operative. "Oh, and Miranda... thanks again. For bringing me back... and doing whatever it was you did." With that, Samantha left the room and headed to the med bay to see Karin.

Shepard walked into the med bay still reeling from the news. Karin sensed her disquiet and stood to meet her in the doorway, sounding concerned as she spoke, "Shepard? Are you alright?"

Shepard looked at Karin and started their conversation with "I think I need to sit down." She then went on to tell Karin about her conversation with Miranda. Karin listened very carefully to everything Shepard had to say, assuring the commander that she would speak to Operative Lawson and get a full medical profile to ensure she established appropriate treatment protocols for her obviously modified physiology. When they exhausted the topic, Shepard put a grin on her face and spoke to Karin as a friend, instead of her doctor. She asked her why she left the Alliance after all her years of service and how she ended up with Cerberus. Karin's answers weren't much different than what she'd heard from everyone else. The Alliance broke up the crew and Karin got a ground assignment. Shepard knew how much Karin loved working shipboard and how discontented she must have been at the Mars Naval Medical Center.

"You know me, Commander. I'm used to the hum of engines, the creaking of bulkheads, that subtle vertigo when the momentum dampeners kick in. Life planet-side is too static, too boring. But I didn't come here for Cerberus, Commander. I came here for you. I have faith that your dealings with Cerberus will be ethical. I trust you, Commander. And knowing your propensity for getting injured, how could I leave you in anyone else's hands?" Doc Chakwas laughed as she finished her explanation.

Shepard looked at the floor for a brief moment, before meeting Karin's eyes for her next question. "You laugh, Karin, but you must know there's a good chance this mission is a one-way trip. Are you ready for that?" Shepard's eyes were glassy as she contemplated the sacrifice her friend was apparently willing to make for her.

Karin answered earnestly, "Shepard. I've been through the reclaiming of Shanxi, the Skyllian Blitz... and we survived the Battle of the Citadel and the destruction of the Normandy together. I've lived a full life with no regrets. I'd like to be sure this crew gets the same opportunity."

Shepard sighed, "Thanks, Karin. Most of this crew has no idea how lucky they are to have you here. Is there anything you need? Anything to make your job easier?"

Karin smiled gently. "I believe I have everything I need. Feels a lot like my sick bay on the original Normandy... it's like coming home. The only thing missing are my private reserves. I even had a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy I was saving for a special occasion."

Shepard laughed. "And you didn't replace it before you came on board? Shame on you, Doctor! I'll keep an eye out for a replacement bottle... and maybe a few other things to add to the stock. Thanks for your time, Karin. I'll see you around."

After saying their goodbyes, Shepard retreated to her new cabin on Deck 1, or to 'the loft' as much of the crew referred to it. She stepped in the door, still amazed by the size and furnishings within the room, and made her way to the private terminal on her desk. There were a lot of messages stacked up, but a lot of them were information only on available weapons and armors, so they were a quick read. There were a couple that definitely caught her interest, particularly one from Anderson. He wanted her to come see him at the Citadel, so she made up her mind that would be their first stop after Omega. The other was information on the location of the Normandy crash on Alchera. Like I need them to tell me where I died... I'm pretty sure that planet is marked indelibly in my brain, thank you very much! As she read on, she realized that identifying the location was just a weak introduction to a request for assistance. They wanted her to go and account for twenty crewmembers. Shepard couldn't believe her eyes; it had been two years, and the Alliance hadn't bothered to go to the crash site to account for their personnel. What about 'leave no one behind'? Twenty crew members' families were still in the dark as to the final resting place of their loved ones. She planned on making that a priority topic when she spoke to Councilor Anderson. Shepard slammed the terminal closed and stood up in a rage. What the fuck is going on in the Alliance? Blowing off the Reapers was bad enough; she could understand how they didn't want to face the possibility of the end of life, but ignoring the deaths of twenty Alliance personnel?

Shepard paced around her room, fuming in anger at the stupidity of the Alliance. She was putting together quite the list of grievances. They picked up the Normandy rescue pods, but apparently couldn't take the time to find her... but Cerberus somehow managed. She'd heard nothing but bad from prior Alliance personnel as to how they were treated after her death. They were apparently completely ignoring the threat that got her killed, and in two years time, they still hadn't managed to close out next of kin notifications after the crash. Shepard stopped in the middle of the room, put her hands on her hips, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Next of kin notifications... "Fuck!" She opened her eyes and headed back to the med bay; she'd been so rattled by Miranda's revelations, she'd not asked Karin most of the questions she'd intended.

After listening to the commander's rants and questions, Karin was very straightforward. "I'm sorry, Commander, but I don't know what to say. You now understand the frustration and why so many of the crew went their own way. None of us were happy with the aftermath. My only regret is that I did not keep in touch with Liara. I wish I knew the answers to your questions in that regard... I can see how frustrating it must be for you. I know you'll take us to Illium as soon as the mission allows. I can help you with your mother, though, I've kept in frequent contact with her. She's between ships, moving from the Kilimanjaro to become the Captain on the flagship of the Fifth Fleet, the Orizaba. It's a great promotion and good move for her. If you send a message there, I'm sure they'll hold it for her."

Shepard thanked Karin for her time and headed back to her cabin once more, this time going to the personal terminal near the bed. She sat down and drafted a very short note to her mother, sure it would get reviewed, and maybe not even be sent, but she did it anyway.

Mom,

Wish I could say more, but I'm not sure as to classification protocols on this one. Just know I'm alive and kicking, in good health and have Karin to take care of me. I plan on being on the Citadel soon. I'll give you a date as soon as I get one, hoping to meet you there. For everything you've gone through the last two years... sorry just doesn't cut it, but I don't know what else to say here. Heard about the Orizaba. Congrats! Love you. Don't know if a reply will get through, but feel free to try.

Keep the Faith!

Sam

Shepard wished she could do the same with Liara, but there was too much to say, and Liara wouldn't understand such brevity and could possibly take it the wrong way. Besides, Cerberus had no rights to that conversation and Shepard had to figure out some other way to communicate with her bondmate. As she stretched out on the bed she realized there was a huge view portal in the ceiling that allowed her to see outside the ship as it traversed the galaxy. She spent a large portion of her first night on the Normandy SR-2 watching the stars go by. Feeling like the goal of rejoining the Alliance was slipping farther away and having to endure the frustration of being unable to contact her love and anchor, sleep was a long time coming.