Author's Note/Disclaimer: Still don't own it, blah blah blah.

Another short one. Oops. Also, Rock, Paper and Scissors will be around a little bit more in later chapters. Whee. Also, the title is a stupid reference because my husband and I thought it was funny. Also, we had no other ideas. Deal with it.

Chapter Eight - It's Not Shia LaBeouf

"This plan is crazy. You're crazy. We're all going to die and it's going to be because of you and your crazy plan!"

"Would you shut up?" If he hadn't just spent several minutes listening to the timid clone whining and scaring the others, Samuel might have felt a little bad for him. As it was, he was only relieved when Tyrone went silent.

Flint Paper made a final check on the paper on the clipboard he was holding as the last of the clones was guided inside the largest of the few buildings provided on the reserve. "That's everyone. That should leave the three of you as the only targets now."

"No, just two." Samuel turned to Octavian and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "You need to stay here with the others where you'll be safe, okay?"

Octavian blinked, a somewhat troubled expression crossing his face. "Toys," he replied solemnly.

"Thanks." Samuel then turned to the three clones that were still standing outside, awaiting further instructions. "Just make sure everyone stays safe, okay?"

"You – " said Rock.

"Got – " said Paper.

"It!" finished Scissors. The three gave Samuel a mock salute before heading inside and closing the door. There was a click as it locked.

Samuel grunted in annoyance at the flippant formality of their departure. "I hate it when they do that." He turned to Flint and Tyrone. "Come on, let's get this over with."

Flint had to grab Tyrone by the arm and practically drag him along as the three made their way into the woods.

X X X

Max crept silently through the brush. He wasn't sure what it was about this part of the woods, but the clones seemed to like it. They were always roaming about out here. Several had met their fate at his hand in these trees; until that changed, he wasn't going to look for a new hunting ground. He could search for a new hunting ground before he accidentally discovered somewhere the clones tended to hang out at, but that seemed too much like effort.

He stopped, listening as a sudden rustling reached his ears. After a moment, a small lizard scuttled out from hiding and dashed for a tree, making its way up the trunk.

Max froze as memories suddenly came, unbidden, into his head.

"Are you sure you wanna do this, honey?"

"Absolutely sure. This power would actually be pretty dang awesome if I could, you know, control it." As if to punctuate his point, Sam hiccupped and swatted away the screwdriver that had been pulled towards his face with a grumble.

"Alright, then."

Momma Bosco primed the hypodermic needle. Sam winced and looked away. He wasn't looking forward to the shot, but if it brought an end to this foolishness, he would endure it. He flinched as he felt it prick his skin, and then howled as a burning sensation began to spread up and down his arm.

Momma Bosco jumped back in surprise, dropping the now empty needle. "That's not supposed to happen…"

"What the hell did you do!?" Max demanded as Sam let out another gut wrenching scream. "Sam! Sam, are you okay!?"

Max lifted his adorable little paws towards his friend's muzzle, but he was thrown back by a sudden snap of electricity. Momma Bosco ran over to help the fallen lagomorph up. Max's fur was standing up from the static charge filling the air. The two turned to look at Sam, unable to approach him due to stray lightning bolts.

Sam was doubled over now, electricity arcing across his body wildly as he continued to wail in pain. The seams of his jacket began to pull taut and then rip as he started to grow larger. Spines ripped through the back of his shirt and jacket, tearing the cloth so that it hung in tatters around his still growing arms. Scales were beginning to form through his fur, his hands growing wicked looking claws.

"He's turning into a giant lizard dog! Why is Sam turning into a giant lizard dog?"

Sam was huge now, his clothes nothing more than discarded rags, electricity still crackling around him. He was almost too big for the room, and growing bigger still. Panicking, he began to whine and thrash, and the walls began to crumble.

"Max, watch out!" Momma Bosco grabbed the rabbit by the ears and pulled him out of the way of some falling rubble which had once been part of the ceiling. The two took cover under the table in the middle of the lab as Sam, still mutating and increasing in size, brought the walls down around them. Suddenly free from his confinement, confused, disoriented, in pain and terrified, he dashed off down the street on all fours, a newly grown tail lashing about behind him. Electricity arced from his body, striking anything nearby that would conduct it. He turned a corner and disappeared among the buildings.

Crawling out from under their cover, Max brushed the plaster dust from his fur as Momma Bosco surveyed the damage. "Huh," was all she said, placing her hands on her hips.

Max cleared his throat, gaining her attention before fixing her with a look that demanded an explanation, and gestured in the direction Sam had run off in. He didn't need to say anything; she knew exactly what he wanted to know. Before replying, she walked over to the cabinet from which she had pulled the needle earlier and opened it. A quick check confirmed her suspicions.

"Gosh, I'm sorry, Max. It looks like I accidentally injected Sam with my mutant iguana formula instead of the cure."

Max stared at her in incredulous silence for a moment. "Why do you have a mutant iguana formula?"

Momma Bosco shrugged. "Because science?"

Max considered this. "Okay, fair enough. Now what are we going to do about Sam?"

Shaking his head to clear it, Max let a crazed grin split his face. "I'm not going to let that happen again, even if I have to kill every last one of you, Sam! You'll thank me later!"

He slapped a hand over his mouth and crouched down as he realised he wasn't alone. Another clone was wandering through the woods.

Max reached for his gun, but stopped. Something was different about this clone. It wasn't all cheerful and bouncy, like usual. Instead, he seemed nervous, and something was familiar about him. From behind, he looked like all the other clones, so he waiting for him to turn around.

It was a while before the clone doubled back on himself. Max let out a quiet growl. He knew this clone for sure, having met him back at Momma Bosco's. The TARDIS t-shirt he was wearing was a dead giveaway. It was obvious to Max that this whole thing was a set up, and the clone was bait in a trap. Usually he wouldn't care and would go for it anyway, but today he felt like checking things out more thoroughly.

Creeping away from the nervous nerd, Max went in search of his companions. Someone had to be in charge of this show; the dork was too much of a weenie to come up with something like this himself. When he caught sight of Flint Paper, he swore to himself and turned to leave. He wasn't even going to try to mix it up with the hardboiled detective. There would be other days to hunt clones.

Max didn't get far before he was blocked by yet another clone. He had been unaware of Samuel, the clone tracking him almost as easily as Max tracked the others. It was clear Samuel was surprised to see him, and Max took advantage of his shock.

Grabbing his gun, he fired once and turned to run.

Samuel didn't even have time to blink, everything happened so fast. For a split second, he was sure he was going to die. Luckily, Max's aim wasn't very good. Years of "shoot everywhere and ask questions later" hadn't required much refinement. Still, Samuel let out a yelp as the bullet grazed his arm. Gritting his teeth and slapping a hand over the wound, he tried not to let his anger get the best of him, resisting the urge to chase after the little white maniac. He could hear Flint and Tyrone running his way, alerted by the gunshot. Seething, he waited for them.

"What the hell just happened?!" Flint demanded.

Tyrone noted the blood seeping through Samuel's fingers. "You've been shot! Are you okay?" He let a sheepish grin cross his face as he gestured to the electromagnetic shield. "Maybe I should have let you wear this?"

Samuel's expression was sour. "I'm fine. It just winged me." He turned to Flint. "It was Max. Max is the one who's been doing this. We need to catch him now!"

"Why do you say that?" asked Flint.

"Because he's heading towards the other clones!"