A/N: So, this fic is just going to be my way of dealing with the hiatus and my desperate need for a Ward redemption. I'm hoping it won't take too long to finish- I'v got school, rping, and crappy internet competing against this -'cause unlike most of my fics, I actually have an outline for this. It's going to be, like, fifteen chapters long? Anywho, the main pairing in this is going to be skyeward, but there will also be some fitzsimmons and probably even some minor philinda. I'm also hoping the characterization gets better as I get more used to writing these characters.

Chapter One:

Demons

"When your dreams all fail

And the ones we hail

Are the worst of all

And the blood's run stale"

"Are you listening to me, Grant?" He blinks, the change in her tone from factual to exasperated catching his attention. She has an eyebrow cocked at him as she taps her pen against her clipboard. "I thought you were done tuning me out."

He glances away and gives a shrug. "Sorry." There's a slight rasp to his voice now, due to the injury he received six months ago.

Dr. Gayle has been his psychologist for the last six months. After a look at his file, she'd assigned herself to his case. According to her, it was because she liked a challenge. He'd resented her almost immediately. She hadn't wasted a second prying into his brain and digging up every little thing he didn't want to think about, didn't want to deal with. The relationship had seemed to reach a common ground over the months, though it tended to be friendlier on her side than his.

She pushes her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. She looks like she's in her early twenties, but he knows she has to be older with the amount of degrees she no doubt has. He actually doesn't really know a damn thing about her, which he's pretty sure is on purpose. It irritates the hell out of him because he's pretty sure that somewhere along the way, he was more honest with her than anyone else in his entire life.

"You've been here for six months now, and we've been at this for a little less than that. How do you feel about your progress?"

"I'm Dr. Gayle. I'm going to be your psychologist during your stay here."

"What happened to the 'torture'?"

"Oh, I put an end to that." He raised an eyebrow slightly in question, not breaking the mask of indifference he wore. "They wanted to break you."

He scoffed. "So?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, but her eyes bore into his. "I just don't think it makes sense to break something that's already broken."

He glances around the room. They're in an interrogation room, which is odd. She had always insisted on having their sessions in his cell. "You tell me." She nods and he can tell she didn't expect any different of a response.

"I think your progress has been very impressive for only a six month timespan." He's not so sure about that. If anything, he's more conflicted than ever. He's doubting things he had never doubted before: Garrett's intentions, the worth of his sacrifices, his future.

His jaw clenches as he forces away that train of thought. "Why are you asking? Is it time for your monthly progress report?"

She actually smiles as she leans back in her chair, and he's instantly wary. "Actually, it's time for the next step in your therapy."

His stomach twists. He can already tell he's not going to like this. "Alright."

A smirk flashes across her face, before she sobers. He watches as she stands up from her chair and walks toward the back corner of the room, glancing briefly at the door. "Come in."

The door opens and Ward swallows hard, his entire body going rigid as he meets the hard stare of Phil Coulson. The man eyes Ward for a moment, before shutting the door behind him and turning toward Gayle, his face taking on a look of friendliness that always managed to put people at ease. Ward resists the urge to look away, remembering a time when that look had once been directed at him. He hadn't deserved it then, though, and he certainly doesn't deserve it now.

"Gayle" Coulson greets, offering a smile.

She gives a small smile of her own along with a respectful dip of her head. "Director." Ward processes this new information. He had asked about his former teammates a few times- Skye and Fitz in particular –but she had never provided any information, always somehow managing to turn the conversation in a completely different direction.

He makes sure his face is completely neutral as Coulson turns back toward him, the hard stare returning. He pulls out the chair Gayle had previously been occupying and sits himself in it. There's a pause as the two men stare each other down, Ward determined not to show any weakness and Coulson adamant to show just how unaffected he is by Ward's presence. It seems to last longer than it actually does- three seconds –before Coulson breaks the silence.

"I have some questions."

"I already told you everything I know" Ward quickly counters, voice even despite the distress settling in his chest. It's true, though- it hadn't taken much convincing on their part for him to spill everything he knew about Hydra. He really couldn't care less about the Nazi organization. His loyalty had been to Garrett and Garrett had been using Hydra simply as a means to an end. He isn't sure exactly how useful his information was; he had never been interested enough to ask that many questions, and he had always trusted Garrett to tell him what he needed to know.

It's a funny thought now.

"What do you know about Skye's parents?"

The question catches Ward so off guard, that his brow furrows and a word slips out before he can stop it: "Why?"

It's odd, seeing Coulson so emotionless. "Answer the question."

Ward eyes him for a moment, before releasing a sigh and leaning back slightly in his chair. "Raina told me a story about a village in China murdered by a couple monsters looking for their baby."

"That's it?" Ward nods and disappointment flashes across Coulson's face. Apparently, this wasn't new information anymore. Ward glances at Gayle, who's watching the interaction with a studious expression, before turning his attention back to Coulson.

"Why are you asking me this?" He manages to clamp his mouth shut before the word sir slips out. It'd become a habit, instinct almost, over the months he'd spent with the team.

There's a pause, probably Coulson debating on whether or not to answer him, before the man speaks. "We received a… message from Raina. We're to hand over Skye or 'he'll find her.'" Coulson's voice takes on a threatening tone that, for the first time today, isn't directed at him.

The instinct to protect Skye flashes through Ward so strongly that, for a moment, he has to remind himself that he no longer has a place in her life; that, last he saw her, he was the one she needed protection from.

Raina's words flash through his mind: "Maybe you two can be monsters together." It'd been tempting at the time, a string of tainted hope offered to him when everything was falling apart before his eyes. He doesn't want it, though, not anymore. Not with this empty feeling that's been coursing through him for six months. He misses the rage, honestly. He won't let Skye be ruined the way he was. Well, he won't if he had the power to stop it.

He doesn't voice his thoughts, though. Coulson doesn't care. The older agent probably wanted to keep Skye as far away as possible from Ward.

Gayle clears her throat slightly, catching Ward's attention. Coulson blinks and suddenly his gaze is pinning Ward to the chair.

"Dr. Gayle has put in a suggestion of… community service for you. She seems to think it'd be good for you to spend some time with the team. Help figure out who you are." Coulson's tone is matter-of-fact and Ward can't figure out the man's feelings toward the idea. He's probably against it, though. Ward notices Gayle's eyebrow twitch, but her expression remains one of professionalism.

It's when Coulson doesn't continue, though, that he knows that the idea isn't closed. It's open, and being offered. He wants to bang his head against the wall until it's a bloody mess because there are a million reasons why he shouldn't do it, but all he can seem to focus on are the reasons why he should. He could protect Skye- she hates him. He could apologize for everything- for nothing. He could be given orders again- and never trusted with them.

He doesn't look to Gayle, knowing that she'd offer no guidance. She'd told him once that he needed to learn how to make choices, though he thought he'd been making them his whole life. She'd simply asked him how many of those "choices" held no outside influence and he'd scoffed to hide the fact that he had no real response.

He's been staring at Coulson and Coulson's been staring back, both trying to get a read on each other. Ward can't tell what the man wants- for him to decline or accept.

"What exactly are you asking?" He needs to know. He needs to collect all the variables and make an assessment. He can't think like Grant Ward. He has to think like Agent Ward, though he's pretty sure he was stripped of that title long ago.

"You return to the team under heavy probation, and you follow my every order." Coulson cuts him with a look that threatens hell should he do any different. The look would be intimidating if Ward hadn't already been through Hell.

He thinks about Skye and he almost says "I want to help." He thinks about how he doesn't deserve to see any of them again and he almost says "no thank you." He thinks about Fitz and how he'll "never be the same" and what that could possibly mean and he almost cries out with frustration.

Then he wishes he would stop thinking. "Alright."

Coulson heaves a small sigh, leans back in his chair, and gives a nod. "Alright." Gayle gives a tight-lipped smile in the corner. Coulson stands up then and readjusts his suit, before taking out a box from his pocket and sliding it across the table toward Ward. "Put this on."

Raising an eyebrow, Ward leans forward and grabs the box. He opens it to reveal a bracelet, similar to the one Skye had worn after the incident with Miles. He can't help but quip: "Afraid I'll hack something?"

"It's a little different than that." Coulson offers no further explanation and Ward decides it's best not to ask for one. Instead, he slips the bracelet on obediently and stands up when Coulson goes for the door. Coulson slips silently out the door, but Ward hesitates, turning toward Gayle.

The woman gives a friendly smile, as if she was an average psychologist and he was an average patient. "I've asked Coulson to give me the occasional update." She shrugs casually and her gaze turns amused, almost smug. "Looks like you finally managed to get rid of me, though." This relieves yet distresses him at the same time and he isn't sure why or if he wants to know why.

"Why?" he blurts, voicing the thought that'd been in his mind since the beginning. Frustration seeps into his tone because why did she choose him? Why did she feed him some bullshit line about enjoying challenges? Why did he let her get into his head and make him question even his questions?

She knows what he's talking about, though, and is seemingly un-phased by his frustration. "Because I believe in shades of grey and second chances. You're as much a victim as you are a perpetrator, Grant. Maybe even more so."

Victim.

Broken.

He hates the terms she labels him with. And he hates how his denial only seems to make her all the more right.

He's pretty sure the ride to the Bus is one of the most uncomfortable of his life. Unlike the last time they had taken a car ride together, - he, briefly, wonders about Lola and if she's been repaired -Coulson doesn't try to make friendly small talk. Instead, the man is quiet, the only sound being that of the classical radio station he has it turned to. It makes him want to ask about the Cellist, but he knows he's long lost the privilege to any of his former teammates' personal information.

The Bus comes into sight and he clenches his fists, the irrational urge to bolt coursing through him. Breathing becomes slightly more difficult, but he pushes through it. He can't be a coward anymore. Besides, something had always told him that he'd have to face this eventually.

He has to ask, though: "Did you tell them?"

"Kind of." That's reassuring. And then, suddenly, he sees a glimpse of the old Coulson, expression and tone light, despite the obvious tension. "Don't worry; I'm pretty sure May's not going to punch you again."

Ward barely resists a grimace, though he's pretty sure he may deserve a few more punches. He knows it's a bad thought- Gayle had once told him that she'd sooner send him to the corner like a five-year-old than recommend physical punishment –but he doesn't care. At this point, he'd accept whatever the team saw fit to help them deal with it. If they need to hit him to feel more at peace, then so be it.

The car pulls up the ramp and into the Bus. He glances at Lola and sees that she looks completely undamaged, as if the whole ordeal had never happened. He's glad that something had at least managed to get repaired.

But then Coulson cuts the ignition and climbs out of the car and Ward wonders if it's too late to ask for a do-over. He follows a moment later, exiting the car-

And coming face to face with Melinda May. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she stands in her usual stance, ready for anything. Her eyes are narrowed the slightest bit, but other than that, she's emotionless. He can tell that she's imagining ripping out his intestines, though, or maybe just rupturing his larynx again. He waits for her to say something, a threat, or maybe voice her displeasure over the situation. Instead, she merely glances at Coulson, who returns the glance and if Ward were to try hard enough, he could almost pretend it was the old times again.

"What's he doing here?"

And suddenly there's a burning sensation flowing through his chest- somewhere between pain and longing. He can't help it as his head snaps up to look at her at the top of the spiral staircase. Her face shows her complete disbelief and she can't seem to decide who to direct her glare at- him or Coulson. He can't believe it's been six months since he last saw her; it feels more like six decades. Her eyes still hold that ferocity he could never help but admire. Her hair still flows past her shoulders, but it's gained a few inches. His hand twitches faintly as he remembers the feel of it between his fingers.

Then she's moving down the staircase and he realizes he's been staring. He averts his gaze to Simmons for a moment, who's trailing behind Skye. There's a raw fear in her eyes that he knows she's valiantly trying to hide and guilt settles in his gut.

Skye reaches them, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly, and Coulson sighs as he approaches her.

"His psychologist suggested that he spend time with us, under heavy probation" the man explains and for the first time, Ward wonders if Gayle actually has a single degree in psychology, because there's no way this is a good idea.

Skye seems to share the sentiment, raising an eyebrow dubiously. "His psychologist?" She glances at him and he sees doubt flicker in her gaze before it's gone. He's not sure what exactly she doubts: that he has a psychologist or that the psychologist recommended this.

Coulson nods. "One of SHIELD's best.'

Her lips thin out thoughtfully, before an irritated exasperation overcomes her. "So, what, he's just going to be hanging around here? Helping out? Just like old times?" Her sarcasm is thick.

"We can't trust him like that!" Simmons pipes, shifting nervously. Ward wants to point out that he's standing right there, not two feet away, but doesn't. They're handling this better than he had thought they would, honestly. He'd expected more flying curses, and maybe even fists.

"I've got that covered" Coulson says and Ward's pretty sure he's referring to the mysterious bracelet. Skye doesn't seem satisfied in the slightest with that response, but she probably knows she isn't going to get anything else, so she turns her attention to Ward. She walks up to him, glare piercing, and before he knows it, there's only a few inches of space between them. She's probably trying to be intimidating, but her height kind of negates the effort.

"So, did you willing to choose to come hang out with your old buddies or are you just as unwilling a participant as we are?" She gives a tight smile that adds a bite to her sarcasm. Ward eyes her for a moment, remembering the days when her eyes were a source of warmth in his cold existence. Now, it seems like her fire for him has been stomped out. He tells himself that's how it should be and there's no practical reason to mourn for it.

"I chose this" he replies eventually, quietly.

She acts as if that's what she'd been expecting, though her anger only seems to increase. "Are you a masochist?"

He bites his cheek to keep from responding, because he isn't so sure what the answer is. After a moment of no response from him, Skye huffs and rolls her eyes, turning away and walking over to Simmons' side. Coulson glances between the group, each female glaring at Ward and Ward looking as emotionless as possible.

Coulson clears his throat finally, before gesturing for Ward to follow him as he makes his way up the stairs. The others follow as well, and Ward gets the feeling he's never going to get a private moment for a long time. "Trip's staying in your old bunk, so you'll have to sleep on the couch" Coulson says as the reach the living room area.

"No one's going to slit my throat in my sleep, I hope." The joke comes out deadpan as usual and without thought. He's falling into the old routine and that frustrates him.

The only response is an oddly disconcerting smirk from May. Coulson pauses only slightly, the only indication that he had heard Ward at all, before continuing on to the mission room. As they reach the room, Ward glances around, the absence of one person becoming more and more troublesome with each passing minute. Surely, Fitz wouldn't have left Simmons' side for this long? Skye notices, of course, and seems to guess his thoughts.

"Looking for Fitz?" Her tone is bitter and full of accusation. Simmons sniffles and glances away. "Look in the med-pod. He hasn't woken up yet."

The world narrows and begins to tilt for a moment. No, he hadn't wanted that, not even close. "It was supposed to float!" he wants to scream, but doesn't. He'd already told Gayle that, so he's sure it's in his file. A bitter taste settles on his tongue, because it figures. He'd inadvertently ruined Buddy's chances, just as he had inadvertently ruined Fitzsimmons' lives. His best intentions always seem to bring disaster.

A heavy silence settles over the group then and he's pretty sure he won't be allowed within thirty feet of the med-pod. Coulson, though, perhaps out of mercy or a need to get this over with, breaks the silence.

"I already told you about the current situation. Questions?"

He goes into agent mode immediately, doing his best to ignore how clear it was that everyone in the room despises him. "What kind of message was it?"

"Personal" Coulson replies, tapping on the table and bringing up an image on the screen. Raina sits in the interrogation room, looking as relaxed as ever. Ward briefly wonders if the fact that she's there is the only reason that room wasn't assigned as his sleeping quarters.

"Do you-" he almost says we, but knows that's a bad idea –"have a plan?"

Coulson shakes his head. "Short of trying to figure out what exactly we're dealing with."

"Actually-" Skye starts, but May doesn't give her the chance to finish.

"It's out of the question." The woman's tone is hard, suggesting this is an old subject. Ward's brow furrows in clear question, but both women ignore him and no one else offers an explanation. His jaw clenches. This isn't going to be easy, but then again, he hadn't expected it to be.

They all whip their heads around at the sound of someone approaching.

"Alright, I got the takeout. Did I ever mention how damn picky some of you are?" Trip looks up from the fast food in his arms and freezes as he catches sight of Ward. He glances at the faces of the others questioningly. "What'd I miss?"

Hours later, Coulson sits in his office. He rubs a hand down his face tiredly as he stares at the paperwork before him. He's almost relieved when a knock sounds on his door. "Come in."

He doesn't look up as May enters, shutting the door behind her. "This is a mistake."

He finally looks up from the papers and threads his fingers together. "Not yet."

"Then it's a risk. A big one."

He gives a small shrug. "His psychologist-"

"His psychologist recommended he spend some time under the supervision of a SHIELD agent. You insisted it be you."

He frowns slightly and turns his attention to the window. "I took a look at his file and I had some time to think…"

"Maybe you should stop doing that." Her tone is softer now and Coulson looks to her. After a moment, the corners of his lips twitch up into a small smile.

"Maybe. Guess we'll have to wait and see."

"Your eyes, they shine so bright

I wanna save that light

I can't escape this now

Unless you show me how"

A/N: So, not terrible I hope? Gayle is my OC for the show (I have an OC for everything, don't judge) but don't worry, she's not going to be a main or anything (I know how people tend to feel about OCs lol). Her charahub is here: /character/216950/Celine-Gayle . I just included her for two reasons: 1) I love her. I'm so proud of myself for coming up with her and how well she fits into canon; she's one of my more developed OCs. 2) I feel it's really important that Grant Ward gets some freakin' therapy. I mean, just sitting alone in a jail cell isn't going to help him that much. He needs to sort out his issues and he needs someone to help get him onto the path of doing that.

Anyway, review please? :3