A/N: Hey everyone I know it has been a while since I've written, with the exception of my Christmas story that is. I've been working really hard to get this story written, and I'm still working on it but I'm pretty well into it now so I thought I could go ahead and start posting it at least. I'll try to get a couple chapters posted a week. One Sundays and one either Wednesday or Thursday depending on how the week is looking. I've got a lot going on in RL right now but I'm hoping I can be consistent with it. Anyway hope you enjoy.

Secrets of the Heart

Chapter 1

"Hey, Donny!"

Don scowled, annoyed and marked his place in his book with his finger as his youngest brother popped his head into Donatello's lab. His eyes were bright behind his orange mask, his characteristic smile firmly in place.

"Wanna come watch a movie with us? I already made the popcorn!" Michelangelo seemed oblivious to his brother's annoyance at the interruption in his reading.

"I'm busy, Mike… " Don started to argue. But Michelangelo cut him off before he could form a real excuse.

"Come on, Don, you've been locked up in here for days. Everyone keeps wondering if you are still alive in here."

"Obviously," Donatello muttered.

"Oh, come on, Don… please?" Michelangelo's eyes widened behind his mask, pleading, his smile turning into a puppy dog pout.

Donatello shook his head. "Mike… I just got to the theoretical theory of…. "

"Yeah, yeah, science blah blah… come on, Don. It'll still be there tomorrow."

Donatello frowned.

"Mike? He coming?"

Donatello sighed as a slender blond appeared out of no where next to his brother. Her long soft curls had been unpinned and now fell delicately down her back, a few over her shoulder. Automatically, Michelangelo's arm wound around her waist, holding her close to him.

"Still trying to convince him to put his book of boredom down so he can come watch awesomeness with us."

Melinda's bright blue eyes snapped to Donatello. "Come on, Donny. One night with us won't kill you will it?"

Don sighed. "But if I… "

"Don, the book will still be here. Now come watch the movie with us. You need a break anyway," Melinda said, frowning now. "Come on, everyone's waiting."

Knowing that it was useless to keep trying to argue, Donatello rose with a resigned sigh and put his book down. He followed his brother and his girlfriend out to the living room. He could see that Leo, Splinter, Raphael and his wife Elizabeth were already out there waiting. Elizabeth was pushed up against Raphael's side, a blanket draped around her, with Raphael rubbing one of her shoulders gently. He looked over his shoulder as they approached and smirked.

"Glad ya decided ta join us, Donny. Wondered if ya'd been sittin' on yer lab chair for so long dat it had become a part of ya."

Don rolled his eyes. "Funny."

Raph just shrugged, but chuckled. Elizabeth shook her head but snuggled closer to him.

Donatello frowned as he looked at her. Elizabeth hadn't been looking very well the last few weeks. Donatello had heard her in the bathroom on nights when he was up late working. But she hadn't come to him or anyone else to complain about it. Still, she looked off color, and Donatello was tempted to see if she had a fever, though he had a feeling that Elizabeth wouldn't appreciate that much. Still if she didn't come to him soon, he was going to confront her about it.

Michelangelo, holding Melinda's hand sat down on the couch, making Melinda sit on his right side. Automatically she curled her legs up and pushed into Michelangelo's strong, secure hold.

Donatello watched his two brothers for a long minute, they both looked so content, so happy with their girls. He felt a pang somewhere within his stomach. Remembering the feelings he'd had when they'd met April. Although she had never seen them as anything more than brothers, he hadn't been able to ignore those feelings, and had gone to Splinter to ask him about them.

As time had gone by, however, Donatello realized that he and April would never be more than good friends, with the touch of family mixed in there as well. She was a big sister to him, and she and Casey would always be their closest family friends. Donatello had resigned himself to the fact that they would more than likely always be alone, who, after all would ever see them more than mutant turtles?

But then Raphael had met Elizabeth and everything had changed. First with Raphael. And then for Michelangelo with Melinda. Perhaps, then there was a chance for him as well… some day?

Donatello shook his head, annoyed and sat down next to Leonardo. It was time to stop dreaming. Raphael and Michelangelo had been lucky. But what were the odds that there was anyone else out there who would ever see them for who they were, and not what they were? Donatello didn't have to be a genius to know that the chances were slim. And he couldn't understand why he was letting it bother him so much. After all Leonardo hadn't found anyone either, and it didn't seem to be eating at him.

"Alright," Michelangelo grinned as he picked up the bowl of popcorn and handed it to Melinda for the first handful. "Movie tonight is awesome, nonstop action, combined with… "

Melinda covered Michelangelo's mouth playfully, chuckling gently. "Mikey, just start the movie, honey. I want to see Hugh Jackman's muscles flexing… oh he's so cute… "

Michelangelo pulled back scowling. "Hey… what's wrong with… "

Melinda laughed now, the sound tinkling, warm and pleasant. "Don't worry, Mikey. There's only one man for me." She gently squeezed his arm.

Michelangelo pouted but Raphael just shook his head. "Come on, knucklehead – start da movie already."

Still scowling a little, Michelangelo hit play.

Donatello settled in as the movie began. But he found it hard to concentrate on Michelangelo's idea of a great movie night movie. Even with as action packed as Michelangelo had promised, Donatello's mind wandered.

This wasn't unusual for him, he often found some of the ideas that were constantly popping up in his head hard to suppress. Raphael had dropped his shell cell again when he and Leonardo had gone out on patrol the other night, the casing had shattered and the screen had cracked. The battle shell needed a belt put in, and he wanted to run a few diagnostic tests on some of the other parts as well. Raphael had been complaining that the shell cycle had been making some funny noises when he went out with Casey the other night. And between Leonardo and Michelangelo, though Donatello had his suspicions on what had happened, the microwave needed to be repaired. Donatello had noticed that the security camera in the south tunnel had gone out and knew that that one would have to be at the top of his to do list. Security was always priority. Because without the security cameras, they wouldn't know if someone with ill intentions was getting too close to their lair. He would have to fix it tonight, or tomorrow. It could be a faulty wire, something from inside the sewers could have short circuited it, they'd had a lot of rain fall this year, that could be the reason… or maybe some kind of vermin had eaten its way through the wires. If that was the case he would have to find something more endurable…

He was startled back to his surroundings when Raphael yawned and stood up. "Good movie, Mike. Liked all da action."

Michelangelo grinned. "Thought you would, Raph."

Whoa. The movie was over already? Donatello couldn't remember anything that had happened. Next to him Leonardo shifted and got to his feet. He stretched a little and offered Donatello a hand up, which Donatello took, allowing his brother to pull him to his feet. Leonardo smiled at his brother and headed to the kitchen to make some tea before he retired for the night.

Raphael gently scooped up a now sleeping Elizabeth, nodded to his brothers and headed up to the couple's shared room.

Melinda was leaning against Michelangelo, his arm wrapped around her waist. "I liked it too, especially the part where Hugh Jackman's shirt was off and… " she was stopped as Michelangelo tickled her ribs. "H… hey!" She protested in between giggles.

She let out a squeak as he lifted her right off her feet, cradling her to him. "Who is your hero now?" He asked smirking.

"You even have to ask?" Melinda asked with a smirk as she met Michelangelo's eyes.

Donatello looked away as Michelangelo leaned in for a kiss. The same gut wrenching feeling returning in his belly.

He was happy for his brothers. He really was. But he couldn't deny, even to himself, that he wanted it too. He headed for the kitchen. He needed a cup of coffee. Maybe he'd get a shot of caffeine and head out to the south tunnel to go repair that camera tonight. He'd feel a lot better with it working properly.

Leonardo was still in the kitchen when Donatello came in, waiting for the water to boil, Donatello knew that Leonardo liked having a cup of chamomile tea before he would turn in for the night. It seemed to help his brother settle his usually high strung nerves and allowed him to relax so he could sleep. He smiled as Donatello joined him, but frowned a little when Donatello headed for the coffee pot.

"Don't you think you should get some rest tonight, Donny? You look like you pulled an all nighter again last night. You really need to get some sleep."

"I need to go see what keeps short circuiting that camera in the south tunnel, Leo." Don said as he put some coffee grounds into the coffee maker and started the hot water, then pulled a mug down from the cupboard. "What we don't need is a faulty security system. Not with the Foot activity being what it is lately. I'll feel a lot better once I get it fixed. I might have to find another place to put it depending on what the problem is. I might even have to replace it temporarily, depending on how bad the damage is. And I need to get Raph's shell cell fixed before he heads topside again… "

"Don, you can't fix everything tonight," Leonardo said firmly, his dark brown eyes were studying his brother thoughtfully. "I'll go with you to the south tunnel, you should have backup anyway. "

Donatello opened his mouth to protest, it was just the south tunnel, it wasn't like he was going topside, but then he closed his mouth. There wasn't a point in arguing with Leonardo about it. When Leo made up his mind, there was no changing it. He was more stubborn than Raphael sometimes.

"And the shell cell can wait until tomorrow. Raph isn't going anywhere tonight, he wants to be home with Elizabeth. "

"She doesn't look like she's feeling any better, Leo," Don said, grateful for the change of topic. "I think she should go see a doctor. A human doctor."

"I was talking to Raph about it earlier when Elizabeth was giving Akemi her bath. He told me if she isn't feeling better in a few days that he'd try to get her to go to the doctor," Leonardo said with a slight sigh. "He's really worried about her too."

"Well it could be a prolonged case of gastroenteritis but it's lasted a long time, usually it clears up in just a few days."

"We'll let Raph worry about talking to her about it if she doesn't feel well soon, Don," Leo said looking at his brother pointedly.

Donatello gave a slight nod, Elizabeth could be a bit testy when she didn't feel good, but Raphael could always talk to her. He knew how to be gentle with her but how to make his point at the same time. She balanced him well and he her. That familiar pang hit him in the gut.

He glanced at the coffee maker, checking to see if his coffee was ready yet. To his disappointment it wasn't.

"Donny?"

Donatello's eyes snapped back to Leonardo, who was staring at him with an odd expression. His eye ridges were pulled together, and his eyes were full of concern behind his blue mask.

"You alright, Donny?"

"Yeah, Leo, I'm ok bro."

"You sure? You look… upset about something."

Donatello shifted his weight from one foot to the other, frowning a little as he looked away from his brother's penetrating eyes. Leonardo had that knack of being able to tell when something was bothering one of them. It was hard to hide anything from him.

He had always been there for them whenever they had needed him to be. But he'd also kept his own desires and feelings well hidden, his training and role as leader of the family had always come before anything. And ever since Splinter and given Leonardo the role of jōnin he had become even more closed off in front of his brothers. His emotions always firmly locked away. He was so good at it…

"Don? What's the matter?"

Donatello took a deep breath. He couldn't lie to Leo. And with Leonardo standing right there, it was hard to hide the fact that something was bothering him.

"Leo, do you ever… think about having a family?"

Leonardo's face seemed to screw up in puzzlement and his frown deepened. "Donny, we are a family."

"No, I mean… like with what Raph and Mikey have… "

"Oh," Leonardo straightened a little as he looked at his brother for a long minute, thinking and considering carefully before answering. Then at last he seemed to have made up his mind on what he wanted to say. "I haven't given it much thought to be honest, Don."

He turned as the tea pot whistled and poured the hot water into his tea cup. Letting the silence fall between them again.

That was typical Leo, Donatello thought to himself as his brother let the water sit for a minute or two before taking a sip of the brew. Then those dark brown eyes met his again.

"Have you been thinking about it, Don? Is that what's bothering you?"

Donatello tried to shrug it off, as if it wasn't that big of a deal to him either. He glanced at his coffee and saw it was finished. He poured himself a cup and took a sip of the hot liquid. Too hot maybe. It made his eyes water a little, but he blinked and his eyes cleared.

"Don… " Leo started, frowning.

"I just never thought it'd be possible for us, Leo… " Don interrupted. "I mean, I came to accept that. We're different, I know that. But when Raph met Elizabeth, and then Mikey with Melinda… it just makes me wonder if there's someone out there for us… you know?"

Leonardo walked across the small kitchen and put a hand on Donatello's shoulder, he gave it a soft squeeze. "I know what you mean, Donny. But you guys are my family. You guys are all I need. If there is someone out there for you, Don. You'll find her. Probably when you least expect it."

Don wasn't sure he felt the same way, but Leonardo dropped his hand. "Let me know when you are ready to head to the south tunnel." And with that he was gone. Leaving Donatello there by himself staring at the floor, conflicting thoughts in his head.