Okay, wow. I've been slacking off on this story. I'm so sorry, guys. I just didn't feel inspired. Hopefully I'll be able to keep writing this. Thank you for your patience. It's been over a year. O.O

Ext. Village - Moments Later

(WHAM! Frodo carries his crossbow through a wall of clustered Hobbits. He weaves through the ongoing mayhem, as fast as his legs can carry him.)

Gimli (O. S.)

Frodo, where are you going?

Boromir

Get back here!

Frodo

I know! Be right back!

In the Field Below

(The Orcs have cornered a house-full of Hobbits. They close in, ready to spring upon them. Gandalf suddenly appears, hitting them with his staff! The surprised Orcs are knocked unconscious. Gandalf runs forward and is tripped by one that's still awake.)

Gandalf

Mind yourselves! The devils still have some juice in them!

On The Hill

(Frodo reaches the top of Bag End. He quickly lifts his crossbow and points it towards the sky. He hears the Nazgul approaching, completely camouflaged by the night sky.)

Frodo

Come on, give me something to shoot at, give me something to shoot at.

(KABLAM! A Hobbit house topples. A blast of fire illuminates the Nazgul for one second. Frodo pulls the trigger. The arrow shoots into the sky, followed by a thwack and a screech.)

Frodo (cont)

(Surprised, then elated)

Oh, I hit it! Yes, I hit it! Did anybody see that?

(Frodo's victory is short-lived. An Uruk-Hai appears, climbing up over the edge of the hill.)

Frodo (cont)

Except for you.

Gandalf

(Fighting the Orcs. He hears a familiar holler, and looks up to see… Frodo running along the top of the hill, screaming, with the Uruk-Hai on his heels. Alarmed, Gandalf abandons the Orcs and runs off.)

Do not let them escape!

In the Town

(The Hobbits dodge as Frodo avoids a near-fatal punch. Frodo gets behind the last standing scarecrow, - the only shelter available. The Uruk smashes at it with his sword. Frodo peers around and sees no sign of the Uruk-Hai. He turns again to find it learing at him, blocking his escape. It lifts its sword. Frodo is finished!

Suddenly, Bilbo leaps between them, knocking the Uruk-Hai to the ground. They fight. The Orc stands up, but falls to his knees again.)

Bilbo

You're all out.

(He smashes the Orc repeatedly in the face, until it runs away. Gandalf turns towards Frodo.)

Frodo (V. O.)

Oh, and there's one more thing you need to know.

(The scarecrow collapses, sending its burning head rolling through the crops and setting the corn on fire. The Orcs escape, carrying several Hobbits. Screams echo back towards Frodo and Bilbo.)

Sorry, Uncle.

Ext. Hobbit Village

(The crowd of Hobbits eye Gandalf, seeing how he'll respond. The Orcs have clearly won.)

Frodo

(Sheepish)

Okay but I killed a Nazgul.

(Gandalf grabs Frodo by the scruff of his neck and drags him away, fuming.)

It's not like the last few times, Gandalf. I mean I really actually hit it. You guys were busy and I had a very clear shot. It went down just past Hobbiton. Let's get a search party out there, before it-

Gandalf

Stop! Just- stop.

(He releases Frodo. Everyone goes silent, waiting expectantly.)

Every time you step outside, disaster follows. Can you not see that I have bigger problems?

Boromir

Winter is coming.

Gandalf

And I have an entire Shire to feed.

Frodo

(Looks around. All eyes are on him.)

Well, between you and me, the Shire could do with a little less feeding, don't you think?

(A few rotund Hobbits stir uncomfortably.)

Gandalf

This isn't a joke, Frodo! Why can't you follow the simplest orders?

Frodo

I can't stop myself. I see a Nazgul and I just have to kill it, you know? It's who I am, Gandalf.

Gandalf

(Facepalms)

You are many things, Frodo, but a Nazgul killer is not one of them. Get back to the house.

(To Aragorn) Make sure he gets there. I have this mess to clean up.

Gimli

Quite the performance.

Legolas

I've never seen anyone mess up that badly. That helped!

Frodo

Thank you, thank you. I was trying, so…

(Aragorn leads Frodo to Bag End.)

I really did hit one.

Aragorn

Sure, Frodo.

Frodo

He never listens. And when he does, its' with this disappointed scowl like someone skimped on the meat in his sandwich.

Aragorn

You're thinking about this all wrong. It's not so much what you look like; it's what's inside that he can't stand.

Frodo

Thank you, for summing that up.

Aragorn

Look, the point is, stop trying to be somethign you're not.

Frodo

I just want to be one of you guys.