Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am just borrowing the characters for some fun.

Warning: This story will contain swearing, scenes of torture and sexual innuendo. Slash.

Summary: Nothing is going to plan. The order is three days late to pick him up and Lucius Malfoy has somehow managed to get out of Azkaban. Remus always wants to talk, but Harry can't bring himself to even think of what happened in June. It was time to face facts: Harry's life belongs to the cause and his own feelings don't matter. Begins after Order of the Phoenix. Slash.

Chapter 47: Acceptance and New Beginnings

Not wanting to talk anymore, Harry charged towards the entrance of the alley. Remus and Snape trailed after him. They didn't redirect him when he went to the left, so he assumed he was going the right way.

"Grimmauld Place is up ahead." Said Remus, softly. Harry glanced at the numbers and saw he was already at number 10. It was a good thing they were so close, the brief hit of adrenaline was fading and he wouldn't be able to keep up the angry walk off very much longer. He turned up the walkway, skipped up the steps and paused, he didn't have a key to get in.

"The wards will admit you." Remus all but whispered.

He pushed open the door, fully intending to go right to bed, but was met with the concerned faces of three aristocratic blonds.

"Draco." Harry said his name like a prayer and fell into his arms. He breathed him in. Harry's arms fit perfectly around his waist and his head rested on his shoulder. He rested his whole weight on him, confident that Draco had him. He felt truly at ease for the first time since waking up.

"Harry, are you okay?" Said Draco, frantically running his fingers through Harry's hair. "We were at Tracey Davis's funeral. We came as soon as we could.

Harry closed his eyes and nuzzled into Draco. "I'm fine. Even better now."

Snape's sharp voice floated through the hallway. "I have to disagree."

Risking a look Harry cracked open his eye to see Narcissa and Lucius looking at him in open concern. It was unnerving.

"Harry had a panic attack." Said Remus to the room at large.

"Why was he even out?" Hissed Lucius. "I thought he was not well enough to get visitors, let alone attend a funeral."

Remus raised an eyebrow and leveled his gaze at Snape.

Snape's glare could have peeled Mrs. Black off the wall. "Potter insisted on going, and I thought it would help bring closure. The boy wasn't supposed to give a damned speech"

Narcissa reached out and rubbed Harry's back. Her touch was maternal and warm. Accepting and comforting. It felt like the hug Mrs. Weasley had given him after Cedric died. "I'll make us some tea. Let's all go sit down."

Harry yawned and blinked tiredly. "Actually, I think I need to go to sleep."

"I'm coming with you." Draco's arms tightened around him protectively and Harry could hear him all but dare his parents to disagree.

Naricissa nodded. "Of course, you need rest. Draco will come get us if you need anything."

The boys clumsily stumbled up the stairs. Harry would not let go of Draco's hand, he needed to hold onto him, but it made it hard to go up the narrow stairs. He didn't meet Remus or Snapes eyes as they left, he couldn't stand their judgement.

In the bedroom Draco wordlessly helped him out of the dress robes, and they both tumbled into bed. Harry lay on his front half sprawled on his boyfriend and snuggled into his armpit, head on Draco's heart.

"I missed you. I've wanted to see you since I woke, but Remus kept saying I needed to rest." Said Harry.

Draco pulled him closer and ran his fingers down his back. "I've been driving them all nuts flooing to see you every few hours. I-You'rer okay? You're still you?"

"I'm okay. Just really tired." Whispered Harry.

"I was worried I had done the spell wrong. You slept for so long and no one could wake you."

"You did it right. I'm okay." Harry leaned up and kissed him on the lips. Deep and reassuring.

When he pulled back Draco searched his face before nodding. "You go to sleep. You look exhausted. I'll stay with you."

Harry lay his head back down. Draco's heart was like a steady beating drum. "I love you."

"Go to sleep." Said Draco, fondly. "I love you too."

It was the deepest, most relaxed sleep of Harry's life. He had been sleeping for days, but somehow this sleep felt different. This sleep was healing and safe and didn't have any nightmares. Something about Draco's warmth kept all the horrors at bay. When he awoke he felt more refreshed than he had since the final battle, or maybe even since Hogwarts.

Draco was still there when he woke.A Quidditch book had fallen from his hands and he was slumped at a bit of an awkward angle for his neck. Judging by the light in the sky it was still very early in the morning. Harry carefully extracted himself from the tangle of limbs and blankets. He was surprised that he had managed to sleep the night, but he supposed that his body had needed it. Smiling to himself he hoped in the shower and exhaled under the warm spray of the water. It had been too long since he had a proper wash.

He didn't bother getting dressed properly, one glance at the clock told him it was only 6:30 am, much too early for real clothes. He quietly grabbed his comfiest sweatpants and most worn t-shirt before heading down to the kitchen. His body felt more energized than it had since the final battle.

Harry stared into the fridge and assessed what they had on hand. He hadn't really eaten properly the day before, in fact he had skipped dinner all together, and he was hungry. He smiled to himself and decided to make pancakes. Dudley had always asked for pancakes on a special occasion and Harry could do the recipe from memory. He had always been able to nick a pancake or two, especially when he made multiple batches on shrove Thursday, so it remained one of his favorites.

When Remus came into the kitchen he looked tentative, but Harry sent him a big smile.

"I hope you're hungry. I've got bacon and pancakes," Said Harry with a broad smile.

Remus's eyebrows almost touched his hair line, "And I can see you've also made a fruit salad."

Harry shrugged. "I felt in the mood to make something special."

"I take it you slept well?"

"A right sight better than you." Harry placed the butter on the table. "You look like you were up all night."

"Ah. No. It's the full moon today. Always ages me a bit," said Remus. He fingered The Daily Prophet that had been laid out on the table. The headline read "Is the Wizarding World's Savior Headed for a Breakdown?"

"I've read it already." Harry flipped a pancake. "They're saying that bringing me back from the dead has left me a little wonky."

"Oh Harry." Remus's voice sounded like a wisp of smoke. "I hope-you don't believe that do you?"

Harry snorted. "Course not. The Prophet is full of idiots. They also have an article about how Draco will be the next dark lord because he's a necromancer. That's all I need to know about their credibility. I've been fighting off a dark lord since the age of 11, I've a right to being a bit of a mess."

Remus was looking at him like how Harry imagined Dudely looked at a rubik cube. "You seemed pretty upset about a newspaper article yesterday."

"It comes and goes." Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Sometimes it's like, fuck em. And others...well when I think about it too much I get...bothered. But today, well, fuck em."

"I couldn't agree more." Remus threw The Prophet into the fireplace and set it aflame. "Fuck em."

Harry laughed. "I like it when you get all rebellious on me, Remus."

"I was a marauder after all," Said Remus, with a big grin. "If you ever need-"

"You're here. I know," interrupted Harry. With a start he realised that he really did know. Remus was there for him. And Snape. And Draco. The days of only being able to trust Ron and Hermione were long gone. "Thanks."

"No. Thank you. For letting me in," Said Remus with gravitas.

Harry turned back to the pancakes. He wondered if this was what it would be from now on. Living with Remus, sounded pretty nice. Like his own small slice of family life. "Hey Remus, where do you live?"

"Here," Said Remus.

"No. I mean when you're not helping fight off dark lords and watching annoying chosen ones. This is Narcissa's house, right?"

"Well...you know before the war I was shifting from job to job. It's always a bit hard to keep something with my furry little problem and all the ministry regulations. I moved around a lot, too. Let's just say that I'm not exactly a landlord's dream tenant." Remus's cheeks were pink. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I guess, I was wondering if I could live with you for the summer?" Said Harry, "I mean even once I turn 17."

Remus laughed. "Did you think I would turn you out on your ear the second you hit maturity? Of course you'll stay with me all summer, and if I have my say, next summer too. Until you have a job and are settled. Narcissa has given me permission to use Grimmauld place for as long as I need. I offered to pay some rent, but she won't accept any money from me."

Harry busied himself setting the table. His heart was thumping. Someone wanted him to stay longer than he had too. He had always assumed after Hogwarts he would be on his own, but it seemed that Remus was not quite ready to treat him like an adult yet. It should have annoyed him; he had fought in a war and survived the Dursleys, surely he was mature enough to take care of himself? He had enough money in his vault to get a flat somewhere, and he certainly knew how to keep a house running. Heck, he made breakfast most of the time. But the idea of another summer with Remus, without the threat of Voldemort, made the part of him that was still a boy in a cupboard sing.

"I think...yeah...I'd like staying with you for a few more summers. Until I'm settled.," Said Harry. Oh God was he totally horrible? The Dursleys had died days ago, and he-

"Good Lord Potter, are you cooking?" Snape was sneering at him from the doorway. The man slowly made his way over to the table and lowered himself into a chair beside Remus.

"Pancakes." Muttered Harry, still half caught in his thoughts.

Snape made a guttural sound at the back of his throat. "Ugh. And I presume that you are the one who threw the Prophet in the fire?"

"Harry and I decided that everyone else could go fuck themselves," Said Remus mildly.

"Quite." agreed Snape, as he placed a napkin on his lap. "But I do enjoy the crossword."

"What's this about the crossword?" Said Draco. His hair was disheveled from sleep and his clothes were all wrinkled from sleeping in them. "Yum bacon. What did you do to Dobby?"

Harry batted Draco's hand away, but his boyfriend danced around him and grabbed a piece of bacon.

"Oi. I've only made enough for us each to have 3 pieces." Harry feigned outrage.

Draco shrugged. "So, this is one of my pieces." He took a big bite. It was exaggerated and disgusting and funny and sexy all at once.

"Go sit at the table." Harry shoved Draco. "I'm just finishing up the food. I told Dobby I needed the kitchen and sent him to help Mrs. Weasley for the morning."

He added the final pancake to the tray and brought it over with the plate of bacon. Remus grabbed the fruit bowl and they all began to tuck in.

"Hmm… satisfactory." Said Snape as he took a big bite. "Every time I eat your cooking I'm half convinced that I'll be poisoned."

"Funny, I could say the same thing about you," Harry shot back.

There was a tapping on the window and Draco got up to let the post owl in. To Harry's surprise a serious looking tawny owl flew right to him and held out his leg. The letter was written on a thick white parchment and sealed with a ministry stamp. It tapped its leg impatiently as Harry stared.

"Best take it," Said Draco "That looks pretty official."

Harry sighed and took the letter slowly. He was finally starting to feel human, the last thing he wanted was to deal with the Ministry. The noise of the letter opening filled him with dread. He started to read and couldn't help the scoff of disbelief.

Dear Mr. Potter,

On behalf of the wizarding world, I would like to personally thank you for your acts of bravery. We are forever indebted to you for your service. It would be our honor to organize a feast to celebrate your great victory with an Order of Merlin, First Class. Please respond with your availability and a list of any guests you would like present. We know that this cannot make up for all that you have sacrificed, but perhaps we can begin to demonstrate how deeply we respect and value you.

As always, please feel free to reach out to me personally with anything you need.

Regards,

Barnaby Geoffrey

Minister for Magic

"What does it say?" Said Remus. He looked nervous.

Harry wordlessly held out the letter and pushed back his food. "They can go fuck themselves with their dumb feast."

Remus and Snape quickly scanned the letter. Snape's lips looked so thin then became non-existent. Remus looked like he was trying to keep his face neutral, but was failing spectacularly. Draco reached for the letter and snatached it from the air in a rush. His eyes all but popped out of his head.

"It's an Order of Merlin, First Class! Do you know how rare those are? You are definitely going!" Draco smirked. "And I get to be on the guest list, of course."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I don't care. I don't want the bloody award. I didn't even kill Voldemort in the end. They should give it you."

"Oh, do you think that I'll get one?" Said Draco, eye's lit up like a Christmas tree. At Harry's dark look Draco shrugged. "You can't blame me for wanting that on my resume."

"Draco is right, This is a huge honor," Said Snape. "An honor you have earned. I sympathise with your distaste for the Ministry, but you would be a fool to turn it down."

Harry's mouth dropped open. "Are you kidding me? You think I should go to their dog and pony show?"

"You deserve to be celebrated, Harry," Said Remus. "You made this happen."

"No." Harry's voice was clipped. "I don't see any of you getting a letter to get an Order of Merlin, and you deserve one as much, if not more, than I do. They are doing this because they don't want me ranting at funerals about how much they screwed up."

"Of course they are," Said Snape. Harry marveled at the fact that he had gotten the man to agree with him. "This is politics, Potter. It's not about what people deserve or what they need, it's about how things are perceived. The Ministry is not about to reward a werewolf, an ex-death eater and a necromancer. But the fact remains that you are currently the Wizarding world's darling, and you had a public meltdown where you disparaged the Ministry. It stands to reason that they want you to make nice and come to their feast. The appearance of your support will do much to restore public faith in the government. But none of that means you shouldn't accept the award and use it to your advantage."

Harry banged his hand on the table. "That's exactly why I don't want this. I'm not going to be a pawn in their game. They throw me out and pick me up whenever it's convenient. I've had enough of these games. The Ministry can go hang."

"Don't be such a Gryffindor," Sneared Snape. "This is the real world. Use them to your advantage as much as they are using you. An Order of Merlin, First Class opens up doors to your future you can only dream of."

"And, " Said Remus hastily, "You do deserve it. You worked hard for this. You endured so much. They should finally recognize it."

"We all endured it, I would be dead right now if it weren't for all of you." Said Harry. "It doesn't feel right."

Draco'sFingers reached out and gripped his hand, squeezing softly. "Harry, I know you're all noble, and it's one of the things I love about you, but sometimes it can be bloody irritating. Take the win. You deserve that award, and Snape's right- an Order of Merlin, well, there is no higher honor. With that you can get basically anything you want."

Harry's leg took on a life of its own and his knee bounced frantically. He tapped on the table and stood in one hurried motion. He crossed his arms and stared toward the wall, thinking. He didn't like it. He didn't deserve an award, no more than any of his friends. Draco had been the one to kill the son of a bitch; shouldn't he get the award? Harry wasn't some hero. He had just been forced into a position where he fought or died and he chose to fight. All he wanted was to disappear from the press altogether. Harry had always hoped that when this was all over they would leave him alone, but it seemed that now he was being watched more than ever.

Conversation was continuing at the table as he thought. All of them knew him well enough by now to give him his space while he worked through it. Harry stewed on his frustration and listened with half an ear.

"I have your potion for you in my lab, Lupin." Said Snape "Remind me to give it to you after breakfast."

"Thank you, Severus." Remus's voice sounded shaky. "I- I owe you quite the debt. You do not have to-"

"Oh shut up, Lupin." Snape's voice was equal measures fond and frustrated.

Harry turned back to look at Remus. He sounded as exhausted as Harry had been yesterday. The werewolf was hunched over picking at his food; It was the same stance Harry had taken when he was allowed to eat at the Dursleys. For a moment Harry imagined what it must be like to be a werewolf, and not just the transformation. What had Remus said earlier? That it was hard to hold down a job. That it was hard to pay his rent. The shabby clothes were certainly a testament to Remus's money issues. And now here he sat, at the mercy of Narcissa and Snape's generosity. Harry knew that they were happy to do it, but by the set of Remus's shoulders he could tell that it weighed on his mind.

His eyes narrowed. Snape was right. The Ministry needed him, and he was feeling a bit Slytherin.

"Do you have parchment and a quill?" Said Harry, sitting back down again.

Snape lazily waved his wand, and moments later a sheet of parchment and large black quill materialized before him.

"Does this mean you're accepting the award?" Asked Remus as Harry began to write.

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Harry smirked at his paper.

Draco leaned over and looked at what he was writing. Harry turned the paper so he could see. His mind was racing and he hurried to get all the words down.

"What do you think? Will it work?" Said Harry

"Hmm...maybe. I'll help you rewrite it later. These kinds of things require a bit of discretion." Draco gave him a smile to signal that he wasn't meaning to insult him.

Harry frowned down at what he had written. He supposed it was a bit straight forward.

Mr. Geoffrey,

I appreciate your letter, however there are some things we need to discuss before I would accept anything from the Ministry.

Firstly, there are a lot of people that deserve an award, besides me. I expect Draco Malfoy to get an award for killing Voldemort. Professor Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy all worked hard to train me so that I would be ready to fight Voldemort, and deserve their own Order of Merlin as well. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger fought bravely at every battle I have had with him since my first year at Hogwarts. These people need to be honored as much as me and I won't go to any ceremony that doesn't do that.

Secondly, certain important allies have been treated like trash by the Ministry. Werewolves are people, and without the help of Remus Lupin and (he left a space to add a first name- He would have to ask Remus) Devereaux, Hogwarts would have fallen, I would have died and Voldemort would probably be Minister for Magic right now. Change the laws to allow these people decent jobs, protections and free wolfsbane potion.

If you do these things I will come to your feast and leave a glowing comment in the Prophet about you. If you don't, I will mail the prophet this letter and tell everyone about how you refuse to acknowledge those who truly won the war.

Regards,

Harry Potter

"The idea is good." Said Draco encouragingly. His lips quirked as if he was trying to hide a smirk. "Just the execution needs some fine tuning. Leave the blackmail to me."

"You're going to blackmail the Minister for Magic?" Said Remus aghast "Whatever for?"

Snape didn't even bother with the niceties; he leaned over and snatched the letter right from Harry's hands. His hawk eyes read the paper in a matter of moments and then he dissolved into peels of laughter. It had been strange enough to see Snape laugh at the Ingenium Ceremony, but this was completely uncharted territory.

"What?" Said Harry, afonted. "You said that I should use this to my advantage!"

Snape laughed even harder, handed the letter to Remus and motioned to it as if it was a joke in the funny pages.

Snape worked hard to compose himself. "Potter, You have finally decided to use a little bit of Slytherin cunning, but you have done it in the most Gryffindor way possible. The result is forthright to an alarming degree. You are not supposed to say the quiet part out loud. Leave some room for interpretation."

Draco snorted and let out a chuckle that he had been holding in.

"I mean I didn't outright tell him to fuck off." Said Harry

Remus pursed his lip and lowered the paper. It looked like he too found it hilarious, but at least had the decency to be more polite about it. "Well, may as well have, with how subtle this is."

"Dear Minister, kindly take a long walk off a short cliff and give all my friends medals. Have a great day, Harry, would be a more efficient letter." Said Draco before bursting into a fit of giggles that made the table shake. Remus put a hand over his mouth, but Harry could see the mirth in his eyes. Snape leaned his head back and roared.

"Hey!" Harry reached out and grabbed back his letter. "That's the last time I make you lot pancakes."

He looked down at his letter again and couldn't help the snicker that escaped. Okay, so subtly was not his strong suit. But still he felt proud. Maybe this was the start of him not being a pawn in the game anymore. Maybe he could get something he wanted for once. Maybe he had more control than he thought. The fame wasn't going to go away any time soon, but if he could use it for good then maybe it would be worth it. Something shifted in him then. A heaviness he had been carrying since forever seemed to ease a bit. The world seemed a little more in his control. Maybe for once he could take back his power.

"How delightful."

Harry turned to see the amused face of Lucius Malfoy in the fireplace. "I see that the world as we know it is truly collapsing."

To Harry's annoyance Snape plucked the letter out of his hands and wordlessly handed it to Lucius. And then things really got weird, because Lucius Bloody Malfoy began to laugh.

HPHPHPHP

It turned out that Lucius had firecalled to give them an update on Pansy. At a pleading look to Remus and a promise to Snape that he would not heal her, Harry had managed to talk his way into visiting St Mungo's. Draco dutifully vowed to bring him home if he looked tired, which made Harry grumble. He could already feel his morning energy start to wane, but he had thought he hid it better.

Harry had been surprised to find a couple of werewolves from Deveraux's pack were stationed outside her door. A cursory glance at Pansy revealed that she couldn't handle a long visit either. She was sitting up and looked almost normal, but her tell tale shaking hands and stutter gave her away. Harry stared at the low blue light that surrounded her whole body. Her parents glared at Harry, so he was relieved when they simply pursed their lips and left to get some food.

Pansy seemed happy to see them both. Her sharp eyes zeroed in on their clasped hands. The teasing was familiar and instantly put him at ease. "D-d-don't cry all o-o-o-over me, Potter. I-I'm fine. In fact the h-h-healers said I may be d-d-discharged today."

"That's great news!" Draco slouched down into one of the chairs.

She gave a jerky shrug. "I-I-I think they J-J-Just don't want a w-w-werewolf here during the f-f-full moon."

"Did Severus bring you some Wolfsbane? I know that he makes it for Lupin." Asked Draco.

"N-n-no." She played with her blanket and Harry could see she was trying to find out how to explain using the least words possible."He offered, b-b-but Devereaux doesn't b-believe in t-that. T-t-they'll h-help me through the f-f-full moon."

Harry glanced out the door towards where the werewolves were waiting for her. He couldn't help but notice that these men did not look as exhausted as Remus. Maybe the Wolfsbane caused some of that? Or was it because Remus wasn't part of a pack?

"H-h-how are you feeling, P-P-P-Potter?"

"Thank you for coming after us." Said Harry, softly. "I didn't mean for you to get involved. I wanted you to stay safe, but- Thank you."

Pansy's eyes watered, but didn't spill over into tears and her mouth jerked in a way that betrayed her nerve damage. "S-S-Shut up, P-P-Potter. D-D-Don't be stupid."

"You are asking for the impossible." Draco's smirk was overpowering. "You should see the letter he wrote to the Minister this morning.."

And just like that, it felt like they were back in the Ingenium room laughing and hanging out.

When Harry yawned 20 minutes later Draco all but pushed him out the door. They promised Pansy that they would see her in a few days and shuffled down the hallway.

Draco steered him to the left. "I want to check on Blaise before we leave. He's just a few rooms down."

Blaise's room was on the other side of the hall and had a bit more sun shining in. There were flowers and a cup of hot tea sitting on the bedside table that indicated that someone had been here not too long ago. This time Draco didn't bother sitting down. He walked right up to his friend and smoothed the blankets down, tucking him in like a child. Harry analysed the deep red that surrounded him; It was thicker and darker than Pansy's.

"He hasn't woken up yet has he?" Whispered Harry.

"Not yet." Said Draco, trying, and failing, to sound hopeful. "They're having trouble figuring out the dark curse that was used."

Harry ached to reach out and delve into this wound. He worked his hands open and shut.

As if reading his mind Draco hugged him. "Maybe when you're feeling better. But Snape would kill me if I let you. Hell, my own mother would kill me if I let you right now."

"As if you could stop me." '

"You need your strength. You look like you could collapse from exhaustion just standing there." Said Draco

Harry glared. It wasn't that bad. He was tired, but it was a stayed-up-until-3am-studying kind of tired, not a funeral meltdown kind of tired.

"Come on, let's go. He's not going to wake any time soon, and you look like you need a nap." Draco tugged on his arm and led them towards the door.

Just as they reached the doorway the blond froze in place. He turned his head to look towards a spot in the hallway that didn't look particularly remarkable to Harry.

"Draco?"

"One second." He muttered to Harry, distractedly, and then turned back to the spot in the hall. "Of course. Yes. Yes. Be well."

Harry watched in confusion as Draco closed his eyes, breathed in deep and waved his fingers in a soft flowing motion. Within moments he was done, and smiling. "Okay we can go now."

"Everything….ummm? What was?" Harry could see that Draco was not upset from the smile on his face, but still something didn't quite make sense.

Draco pushed him back into the room and shut the door. He crossed his arms. "Look keep this between us, I haven't told mother or father about this yet. There's just been too much going on."

Harry nodded. " 'course."

"I've been coming to the hospital to visit Pansy every day since...well since the battle," said Draco, "And, it was a bit of shock the first time, but the dead have been coming to me."

A chill ran down Harry's spine. He worked to keep his face neutral.

"They umm...they want my help transferring over. Apparently it's a bit of a hard process and having a necromancer makes it a little easier. Some of them can't find the light or just don't have the pull."

"Weird, it just about drove me batty that I couldn't go towards it." Said Harry, thinking of how mad he had been that Draco had tethered him to this world during the fight with Voldemort. The urge to go had been overwhelming.

Draco looked alarmed by that.

"Don't worry," Said Harry hastily "That's gone now."

Draco gave him a quick fierce kiss, as if to remind him how happy he was to have his corporeal body back.

"Well, " The blond pulled back. "I've been helping them cross over. And I-Well I think that this may be the real role of a necromancer. To be a kind of go between for the living and the dead."

"Interesting. So, you mean you're not a Dark Lord in training who's planning on raising an army of the dead?" Harry gave a cheeky smile.

Draco swatted at his arm. "Okay. Let's go."

Snape took one look at him and sent him right to bed. For once, Harry didn't even argue. He needed to sleep.

The days fell into a routine of sorts. In the mornings Harry took visitors, read books and generally did his best to drive Remus and Snape bonkers. In the afternoon, they would send him to bed to nap. He would wake sometime around dinner, let Dobby stuff him until he couldn't possibly eat any more, lounge around the parlour pestoring Remus for a while and then be ordered back to bed around 10pm.

On the third day he was awake, Ron and Hermione came to visit. They curled up with an indecent pile of pillows in the library. Dobby laid out a spread that made Ron's eyes almost pop out of his head. Harry smiled at the familiarity of it all. There was nothing that felt more like home than curling up by a fire with Ron and Hermione to decompress about the latest drama.

"Hermione, stop looking at me like that."

"Oh I just-" She leaned forward and gave him a one armed hug. "You were dead, and then you didn't wake up for so long, and then we saw that article in The Prophet. I just was so worried."

Harry squeezed her back. "I'm okay Hermione. Well, I will be. I guess I'm working on it."

Ron was looking at him contemplatively from across the room. Harry gave him an eye roll, as if to say Hermione- am I right? He waited for one of the red heads's one liners to break the tension. But Ron's face didn't change.

"It's been a lot lately," Said Ron instead. "I think we've a right to take some time."

Harry nodded and leaned back. Hermione wiped at her eyes.

"You're right, Ron. Since when did you get so wise?" teased Harry

Ron's cheeks got pink. "Well, you spend enough time with Hermione and I guess something rubs off."

Hermione's eyes softened as she looked at her boyfriend. Her hand reached for his as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Harry wondered if he and Draco looked as comfortable with each other.

"I'm just glad we're staying around long enough to have a chance to get okay," Said Hermione.

Harry nodded. "It was intense for a moment there."

The silence in the room felt comforting and stifling at the same time. Ron and Hermione didn't press him. They knew exactly how he was, and without saying a word Harry could hear what they were thinking. They had done this talk many times, and this time would hopefully be the last.

"Did you see Neville?" Asked Ron "He was bloody brilliant! The rock arm thing was badass."

"I saw. He smacked Bellatrix right in the face with it. He's an elemental too right? For earth?" Said Harry

"We had someone for each element. It was rather impressive when the powers combined. There was a ritual with all the elements to break the wards. When more people had Ingenium's apparently it was quite common to have 4 elementals at ceremonies. " Said Hermione

Harry nodded. He was learning more and more that the wizarding world was one that valued ritual and tradition. He gave Ron a knowing look. "Did you get to throw a fireball?"

"You bet your arse I did!" Ron's smile lit up the room. He leaned back, snapped his fingers and played with a small flame in his palm. The whole movement reminded Harry of James Potter playing with a Snitch in his fifth year. "I took out more than a few Death Eaters with a well aimed fireball. Not too bad if I do say so myself."

Hermione elbowed Ron and the flame went out. "Don't be so modest tell him."

"Tell me what?" Harry's curistority was well and truly piqued when Ron's ears went flaming red.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron's reluctance. "Kingsley was very impressed. Ron came up with the idea to have the Werewolves come in on the other side. And then he fought so bravely- well, he offered Ron a job at the Auror Department."

"Mate that's amazing!" Harry said enthusiastically. He had always known that Ron would make a good Auror, but this would give him the confidence he desperately needed.

"It's not a job job." Ron muttered, "more of an apprenticeship for the summer. But I can put it on my application when I apply for the auror program after Hogwarts."

"You'll blow all the other applicants out of the water!" Harry reached out and patted him on the back. "Well done. You know ,even Lucius admitted that you were tops at strategy."

"Really?" Said Ron excitedly, "I never thought. Wow." The boy seemed to audibly tone down his excitement. "Harry, I know you wanted to go into the Autor program too. I mean I'm sure that Kingsley would-"

"Naw." Harry smiled as he cut him off. "I want a nice boring summer for once. Besides, I'm a healer. I don't really want to be an Auror anymore. Madame Pomfrey is gonna set me up once school starts."

Ron beamed back at him. As hard as Ron had worked to get his moment, Harry knew that it had been hard for him to tone it down.

"Do you mean to tell me that I'm the only one without some kind of apprenticeship lined up?" Said Hermione incredulously, but she was smiling, so Harry knew she wasn't mad.

"Becoming quite a slacker Miss. Granger." Harry winked.

Hermione laughed. Even she had to admit that the idea of her slacking was hilarious. "Don't you even, Harry Potter."

As they descended into friendly bickering, Ron called Dobby for more butterbeer and pulled over the wizarding chess set. It felt good to be home.

On the fourth day that Harry was awake he somehow convinced Remus and Snape to let him go to Terry Boots memorial. It was beautiful. There were huge bouquets of roses scattered about and a cellist whose music felt like it caressed the soul. They sat at the back and this time no one asked for a speech. Harry cried, and reminisced about his friend. Someone told a story that made him laugh and cry at the same time. By the time they left Harry felt that he had found the closure that Snape had wanted him to find at Tracey's ceremony.

A few days after that he attended the ceremony of Colin Creevy. The meadow was decorated in pictures that floated around the perimeter. Colin had captured them all in moments of sadness and happiness. Dennis gave a speech that even made Snape blink rather harder than normal. The next day The Daily Prophet had a photo essay of the war using his pictures. In it they said that the photo's would be used by London's Wizarding Historical Society to study the war.

He thought about maybe contacting aunt Marge and going to the Dursley's funeral, but immediately rejected the idea. He wouldn't be welcome and they wouldn't have wanted him there. Instead, on one of the quieter mornings one week after he had been awake Harry wrote them all letters. They were full of run on sentences, and curses and gratitude and disrespect, but he found he felt better for having written them. It was his own private goodbye to his family, and his feelings about it all remained complicated, but now felt less heavy. He had released the mess of his inner thoughts onto the paper.

In between the death and the memories were moments of laughter. It was a time of extreems. Everything either felt intensely happy or intensely sad. Remus challenged him to gobblestones. One day Snape rolled up his sleeves and made the best marcons that Harry had ever tasted. Lucius, Narcissa and Draco were there for dinner almost every second night. For the first time in a long time, things were not oppressive. There was no war and no more threat. It was a true summer as Harry had never experienced it before.

"What's for lunch?" Asked Harry, the kitchen was worryingly silent and he was starving.

Snape and Remus gave him an assessing look. One of Snape's long thin eyebrows had creeped up his forehead and Remus's lips were pursed.

"Alright fine, I'll figure it out on my own then." muttered Harry as he turned to open the fridge.

"I told you he forgot." Said Remus with a smirk

Harry searched his mind. Nope, nothing. All the funerals were over and homework wasn't due until September. "Forgot what?"

"How are you feeling?" Snape made it sound more like an interrogation than small talk.

Harry pulled out some cheese and shrugged. "Fine. The tiredness is wearing off. Haven't needed to nap the last few days."

"As you no doubt know, Draco has been pestering us to let you go flying at Malfoy Manor." Said Snape.

"Yeaaah," Harry drew out the word in one long ah sound. He barely dared to hope. Remus and Snape hadn't let him go to Malfoy Manor yet, saying that the trip would be too much for him.

Remus gave him a small smile. "Would you feel up to going today?"

"Yes!" Said Harry maybe too quickly, he worked to tone down his enthusiasm. "I'll go get my broom and I promise not to do any crazy tricks or anything. No Wronski feint."

"We will be there to supervise and make sure you do not." Snape watched as Harry all but vibrated in place with excitement. "Oh get your broom. We're having lunch at the Manor."

Harry threw the cheese back into the fridge and charged up to his room. He snatched his broom and was back down in the kitchen within one minute. Remus and Snape were waiting by the fireplace.

Snape took a handful of floo Powder. "I'll go first. Make sure to enunciate. I don't want to have to get your from Merlin knows where."

Harry opened his mouth to snark back, but the man disappeared in a puff of smoke. Remus held out the floo powder and motioned him forward. The world spun in neon green in that sick way it always did when he traveled by floo before he was spit out unceremoniously. Harry seemed to bounce and fly forward before landing on a fine rug a foot from the fireplace.

He heard Draco's laughter before he saw him. A hand took his arm and helped him stand. Harry brushed at the soot of his clothes, then realised he was just spraying it everywhere and stood, unsure what to do. He looked up to ask for a cleaning spell and his mouth dropped open.

This place was...wow. It was the kind of finery that Aunt Petunia only dreamed she had. The ceilings were higher than most houses, with moldings around the top that were decorated in a delicate creeping vine pattern. The room itself was decorated in cream with tasteful hints of gold and green throughout. Every fabric looked luxurious and the many pillows were arranged just so.

"Bloody hell." Muttered Harry under his breath. He suddenly felt like he was underdressed, even though his jeans and t-shirt were perfectly suitable for some afternoon flying.

"How on earth did you get so dirty?" Said Narcissa with a grimace. She pulled out her wand and cast a quick cleaning spell. Harry felt a whoosh of air followed by the scent of flowers. The soot on the rug instantly disappeared.

Harry shrugged. "How don't you get dirty when you travel by floo?"

As if to prove how ridiculous he was, Remus came sailing out of the fireplace with one elegant hop, not one ounce of soot on him. Draco laughed even harder and Harry shot him a glare.

"This place is amazing." Said Harry trying to change the subject. "I knew you were rich, but this place is like a castle."

"It's a manor, not a castle." Said Draco with a smile.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well excuse me if I didn't know a manor was so castley."

"The house has been in the Malfoy family for ten generations." Said Lucius, interrupting what would have definitely been some rude teasing from Draco. "Draco can give you a tour later if you want, but let's have lunch first."

Narcissa plucked the broom from his hands and leaned it against the wall. "Come. I thought we could eat on the patio. It's such a lovely day."

Harry almost gasped out loud when she turned towards a wall of arched windows that looked onto perfectly manicured grounds. He could see a green house in the distance that had a sprawling garden in front of it. There were winding gravel paths that went down towards the gorgeous lake and a quidditch pitch. Looking pleased with Harry's reaction Draco took him by the arm and pulled him forward to walk faster.

Narcissa stopped at the door and waited until Harry was next to her to throw it open in one swift movement. Confused by the theatrics Harry turned to give her a look when he almost jumped out of skin.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!"

It looked like everyone he knew was there. Harry's mind tried frantically to process the scene before him. How were they there? He hadn't seen anyone through the window! Oh. Magic. Right.

At the forefront were Ron and Hermione holding a banner surrounded by Weasleys. Luna, Neville and his Gryffindor year mates stood to the side. Hagrid and professor Mcgonagal were over by Tonks and a few other Order members. Even Devereaux and Pansy were there. There was a huge table of food that was dominated by a 3-tier cake in Gryffindor red. Off to the side was a table that looked to be brimming with enough gifts to make Dudley jealous. Everyone was smiling at him, some were even chucking at his stunned silence.

"You forgot it was your birthday, didn't you?" Said Remus. The bastard's eyes were as twinkly as Dumbledores.

"Umm..yeah?"

There was a roar of laughter around the room.

Harry licked his lips. What was he supposed to say in this situation? He had never even had a regular birthday party, never mind a surprise one as big as this. Luckily, people were already breaking off back into conversations. Mrs. Weasleys came over and gave him a hug, and then Harry found himself being shuffled from person to person. He greeted each guest with heartfelt thanks. It was overwhelming. They had all come for him.

"Happy Birthday, Harry!" Said Neville.

Harry smiled back at his friend. Neville looked...different. He was standing taller. He took up space, and he looked comfortable with that.

"I should say the same to you." Said Harry, suddenly feeling bad that he hadn't even sent him a letter. "Sorry I didn't umm-"

Neville waved him off. "You can't even remember your own birthday. Besides, the past few weeks have been...busy."

Harry nodded. He had seen Neville at a few of the Funerals, but they hadn't exactly had time to catch up.

"HARRY!"

He found himself staggering under the weight of the twins. He gave a look to Neville that he hoped conveyed "we'll hang out later' and then felt himself being lifted. He laughed and tried to push their arm away but the two boys were stronger and had Harry on their shoulders within moments. They started singing and Harry couldn't contain his groan.

"His eyes are as green as a fresh picked toad…"

To his horror others joined them, until the whole party was singing.

"His hair is as dark as a blackboard."

How did Remus and Snape even know the words?

"I wish he was mine, He's truly divine."

Draco, the traitor was dying of laughter.

"The hero who conquered the Dark Lord."

He covered his face as everyone cheered.

He heard Mrs. Weasley yell for her son's to put him down, and just as suddenly he was standing with a butterbeer as if he had not just been completely humiliated.

"Sorry Harry, we have to have our fun, you know how it is." Said George with a wink.

He sipped grumpily at his butterbeer. "Well as long as you don't blow up the place I suppose I can't ask for too much."

"Who said we wouldn't do that?" Fred's look was far too mischievous to be safe.

"This place looks pretty posh, don't think you could afford to put it back together." Said Harry blandly.

The twins just laughed at him. And laughed some more. Enough to make Harry nervous that there was more mayhem on the way.

"Seriously though. Happy Birthday mate!" Said George, ruffling his hair. "Glad you made it to 17."

"Ta." Harry cheersed his glass. Fred was looking at him as if he was a puzzle to solve. "What?"

Fresd shook his head. "Nothing just...umm...you have two less colours."

"Sorry?"

"Two less colours. In your Aura." Said Fred.

Harry thought for a moment. "Huh. That's interesting. I thought you could only see a wizard's aura when there was a ritual going on."

"Let's just say it's a talent of mine." Fred winked.

Harry shrugged. It felt a bit uncomfortable knowing that the Horcrux that had lived inside him had affected his magic, but he guessed it made sense.

"When are you guy's gonna stop embarrassing me with that song?" Said Ginny

"Embarrassing you?!" Said Harry in disbelief.

Fred chuckled. "When it stops being funny."

"Probably never." added George.

"Prats." Said Ginny.

Harry's lips twitched. He looked around and realized that he was in the middle of the huge party. Overwhelmed all of a sudden he looked for an escape. "Just gonna use the loo."

He walked back into the gorgeous parlour. He immediately headed for the door on the other side. It led into a beautiful hallway that was adorned in marble all throughout. The chandelier was as big as fluffy's head. Harry let out a sigh and leaned against the wall. He had no idea where the loo was in this place, and he really only just wanted a moment of quiet anyway.

Maybe it was good that those colours were gone; after all they had been from Voldemort. But, still he wondered what it meant. Would his magic still be the same? Would he have to relearn spells? He hadn't noticed anything different since he woke up, but he wasn't allowed to do magic in the summer.

And this party- it was overwhelming. They clearly all cared about him and wanted to make him happy, but that feeling made him uncomfortable. He didn't know how to be in this new world. This world where there was nothing to fight. No Dursleys or Voldemort to have to be strong against. These people didn't need him for the war anymore, but they still were here. It made his stomach twist and turn.

"Harry, are you alright?"

Narcissa Malfoy stood before him looking as elegant as ever.

"Oh. I'm fine." Harry smiled at her. "Just looking for the loo."

She gave him an acessing look and then leaned up against the wall next to him. "You looked quite deep in thought."

He looked contemplatively at the ground. It had been polished so well that he could see a wobbly reflection of himself. "This party is just….a lot."

"Everyone is very excited," Said Narcissa "The wizarding world has been celebrating the end of the war for the past two weeks, but this feels like the first chance those of us who fought really have to celebrate something. I'm sorry if we were maybe too enthusiastic."

"Oh." Said Harry. He hadn't really thought about what this party meant to his friends. When she put it like that, no wonder everyone was a little rowdy. But a part of him that he couldn't shake felt bad about being there; happy and laughing with his friends when so many would not be able to do that any more. "It's hard. It's been a long week and I can't help…"

Harry trailed off and shook his head. Narcissa waited for him patiently.

"I can't help thinking that I shouldn't be this happy. I mean the Durselys are dead and all I can think is that I'm really happy I get to spend the rest of the summer with Remus. And Tracey, and Colin are gone and I'm just...having a birthday party? I mean its't that completely wrong? And Sirius and my parents they...I don't know how to explain it." Harry kicked at the ground and avoided her eyes. The next thing he said came out in a whisper. "I feel bad for being happy."

Narcissa reached out and took his hand. She squeezed twice. "I understand. It is hard."

"What? No motivational speech?" Said Harry looking up at her.

"I suppose I could try and find one if you want me to." Narcissa gave an elegant shrug.

Harry chuckled. "You don't have to. I'm just surprised you wouldn't try and talk me out of it."

"I understand your feelings all too well." Her eyes seemed to be looking past him. "This house was his headquarters. My cousin, and my sister are dead. Some of my oldest friends are being thrown in Azkaban. And yet, all I can feel is that I am happier than I have ever been. There is a certain guilt that comes with that."

Harry swallowed hard. Something within him released in a way that it hadn't before, and in a way that it wouldn't have with one of Remus's upbeat pep talks. Someone else understood him.

"But I also know," Nacrissa continued." That it fades with time. It was the same at the end of the first war, and it faded. You have a right to be happy Harry, and I'm sure many of those who died would want that."

"Ah so there was a motivational speech in there." Harry smirked at her.

She rolled her eyes. "How about this? If it becomes too much you tell me and I will end the party."

Harry's eyes bulged. "You would do that? Just end the party? Because I felt all...whatever."

"I have no qualms being the bad guy, or maybe we could just say your tiredness came back." Her voice was steady. "How about a code word. If you ask for strawberries I will know you want me to terminate the celebration."

"But I mean what about what you just said about how much this means to everyone?" Said Harry, his voice tightening in pitch as he went.

"We are here for you. It is your birthday and if you want me to end the party, I will. We can wait for you to feel ready."

Harry gaped at her.

"Do you want some strawberries, Harry?" Narcissa asked gently.

He thought for a moment. "No actually. That um...I feel a little better. Thanks."

She inclined her head. "Very well then. Shall we return to the patio?"

When they emerged back onto the patio it seemed that the adults were the only ones left milling about by the food table and all the kids had moved down to sprawl on the grass. Someone had put on music and Ginny was trying to get people to dance.

"Happy Birthday, Potter." Devereaux smiled at him. Unfortunately the effect was not as welcoming as he probably meant it to be.

"Thanks."Said Harry "I have to be honest, I didn't picture you as the type to come to kids parties."

Remus covered his snicker by taking a drink from his wine glass.

Devereaux's face didn't change in the slightest. "Well, I thought I could use the opportunity to thank you for the letter you sent to the ministry. You certainly have a way of keeping your promises."

"Oh, No problem." Harry bit his lip. " It's only what's right."

"Lupin here is gonna make sure it happens. We've got a whole list of demands."

Remus raised his glass as if in a toast. "I didn't get a chance to tell you Harry, but the ministry contacted me this morning and hired me as a liaison with the werewolf community."

"Remus, That's great!" Harry beamed at him. That part of him that felt guilty got a little smaller. They were going to make real change.

"Harry, we need your help."

He spun to see Draco standing there looking devious. "Weasley has challenged me to a game of pick up Quidditch. Apparently he likes to be publicly humiliated."

"Which Weasley?" Asked Harry

"I get Harry!" Called Ron from the grass.

"Excuse me?" Draco's eyes flashed "say's who?"

"Well I'm his best friend and I just called dibs." Said Ron as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Boyfriend trumps best friend." Said Draco

Both of them turned to face Harry who opened and closed his mouth unsure what to say.

Draco made a noise of disgust in the back of his throat. "Come on."

He sent an apologetic look at Remus and Devereau, and let himself be dragged to the grass where teams were already starting to be divided up.

In the end, Harry played on Ron's team. Draco had nabbed up the twins as beaters and Remus volunteered to be his keeper. A hodgepodge of Weasleys and less enthusiastic players had made up the rest of his team. Harry had been impressed when Arhtur Weasley had volunteered to be a chaser on Ron's team, and had been even more shocked when Dereaux asked to be a beater. Somewhere along the line Pansy was talked into being their third chaser and Tonks agreed to try her hand as a beater on Ron's team as well.

It was the craziest quidditch game that Harry had ever been part of. No one followed the rules as strictly as they did in a Hogwarts game. The trash talk included embarrassing baby stories. Fred and George started to charm people's brooms so that they were trailed by hearts, and rainbows. Pansy kept flying behind the keepers' rings and scoring from the wrong direction. Ginny and her dad were surprisingly well coordinated, and Harry assumed that all the Weasley kids got their flying skills from their father. Unfortunately, none of Ginny's brothers had any qualms about teaming up against her. At one point in the game Bill, Charlie, Fred and George charged at her at the same time. When Ron expressed his outrage, all of his siblings, including Ginny, had flown at him.

And then, there was the commentary. Someone cast Sonous on Luna and Hermione to narrate the game. The contract between Luna's airy bordering on insane narration with Hermione's frantic attempt to keep track of the score in a game that was total mayhem had Harry in stitches.

Harry and Draco had flow above it all yelling out pointers and receiving two fingered salutes in return. Then they had felt eachother up a bit, insulted each other a little more and finally Harry had caught the snitch when his stomach started to rumble.

"I let you catch it, you know." Said Draco an hour later as they lay on the grass eating cake.

"Sure you did." Harry poked at him with his foot.

Draco swatted his foot away. "Of course I did. It would be bad form to beat you on your birthday."

Harry exchanged a smile with Ron and Hermione. "Whatever you say, Draco."

"Okay that's it!" Draco stood up and held out his hand. "Come with me."

"Umm. What?"

"Come on. Get up. Now." Draco grabbed his arm and started to drag him up.

Harry laughed but let himself be dragged to standing. He figured he would play along. "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to order around the birthday boy."

Draco didn't let go of his arm. He started to lead him away."I want to show you something."

"I did not need to know that Malfoy." Neville shouted after them.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Sod off, Longbottom!"

A loud wave of laughter erupted behind them as Draco began to lead him down one of the gravel paths. Harry shook off Draco's grip on his upper arm and then took his hand. They walked in silence. It was later afternoon now, and the sun was out in full force. Harry itched to run his hands through Draco's wind swept hair.

They turned a corner, walked past some trees and the view gave way to a stunning lake. Swans were floating lazily along to their left and ancient willow trees rustled in the soft breeze. The water was a beautiful deep blue that reflected light back at them.

"Wow. This is...wow." He stopped walking. "It looks much better in person."

Draco's smile put the sun to shame with its brightness. "I wasn't sure if you would remember."

"It was our first date, 'course I remember." Harry leaned over and put his head on Draco's shoulder. He breathed in the fresh scent of the water and the earthy scent of Draco. "The Room of requirement didn't do it justice though."

Draco ran his fingers through his hair. Harry leaned into the touch and smiled. He felt lighter than he had in months. Maybe even years. Maybe ever.

"I love you." Harry said suddenly. Lifted his head and looked at Draco intensely. He needed Draco to understand. Draco's love for him was crazy and loud and reassuring. It was a yell at the top of your lungs kind of love, and Harry didn't think he had ever returned the favor. He turned to the lake, cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted out "I love Draco Malfoy!"

Draco blushed and pushed his hands down. "They'll hear you at the party if you yell like that!"

"So?" Harry screamed even louder this time. "I love Draco Malfoy!"

He darted back when Draco tried to get to his hands again. "I love-"

Harry's mouth was covered in a kiss. Sensual lips teased his mouth and he forgot where he was. Draco wrapped his arms around him. Harry gave himself over to the moment. His body relaxed into Draco's embrace, and he fit perfectly.

THE END.

A/N: Well, it has been a wild ride. I have been working on this story for 6 years now and it was a bit hard to let it go. Thank you for going on this journey with me. A special special thanks to those of you who reviewed every chapter and kept me motivated (You know who you are). I feel like in writing this I have learned a lot about myself and my own writing process, and hopefully I can bring that to my next works. I do have a couple of plot bunny's for fanfic's bouncing around in my head, but I will probably take some time to work on some original fiction ideas. I can say that I probably won't even write a fanfiction quite this long again. For the last time ever, Thank you so so much for reading! And stay safe in this crazy time we're living everyone! I love you all!