A/N: Halloo there, old story, as in I wrote most of it last year but only got around to finishing it now. All grammar errors are mine, as usual, because my laptop is down and I wrote this on my phone. I tried to fix what I can, but I really need a new laptop.
Disclaimer: Hiromu Arakawa's, just borrowing for play.
"Morning After"
The poison traced a fiery path through Lan Fan's veins bringing with it fever, pain and certain death. She had checked the first shuriken with her kunai but the second grazed her upper arm. It was only after she had dispatched the assassin that she noticed she was in trouble. Clearly this assassin had come prepared.
"Lan Fan!" Young Master was calling for her, and the Emperor of Xing was not a man you disobeyed.
Lan Fan turned sluggishly back toward the emperor's voice and discovered that she was blind. The poison was spreading fast, piggybacking on her already accelerated heartbeat and undoubtedly doing considerable damage as it went. She was dying, she realised, and there was nothing she could do about it.
But then suddenly the emperor was there, ripping away her mask and hood, then tearing at her shirt to find the wound. Lan Fan did not know how he had seen her get hit, and at that moment she did not care. Her body was on fire, she felt as if at any moment she would burst into flame and be consumed, taking the emperor with her. This last thought reminded her that she was a bodyguard and should not be responsible for the death of the one she was sworn to protect and she immediately tried to push him away.
His voice was distorted and distant over the sound of her blood rushing through her ears as he tried to stop her. "No! Lan Fan! Calm down, Lan Fan!"
The phoenix was a symbol of the imperial family, the empress like Lady Mei Chan would be if the emperor died today because of his own guard. The phoenix was born of the ashes of its predecessor, which would as its dying act self-immolate and take out anything that was too close. The colours the empress would wear, a brilliant red and gold, colours that captured the sunlight as if the silk had been set ablaze, Lan Fan could just see them beginning to form behind her eyes. No! She had to get away from Young Master! He would die! He would die by her hand! Disgrace! Shame! The fall of the Yao clan!
And then suddenly it went dark and quiet.
Lan Fan woke to the sound of voices in whispered conversation.
"It's a miracle that she's alive. The poison should have killed her hours ago."
That was Princess Chang.
"Lan Fan is strong." That was the Emperor and he sounded unharmed. Lan Fan felt herself relax, relieved. They noticed.
Hands on her arm and neck. The princess checking her for fever. Then the Emperor said, "Lan Fan, you need to rest. You've been through a lot." She obliged.
It was birdsong that woke Lan Fan next. There was a terrific cacaphony going on outside her window, which was unusual because Lan Fan's room had none. Then there was the fact that her bed felt strange, softer, the sheets were sleeker, warmer too, so that she felt as if she were held in a gentle, loving embrace. It was so wonderful that Lan Fan almost did not want to move... Well, that was until her pillow snorted.
Her eyes snapped open at once and she shot upright so fast she felt her head swim. Closing her eyes again did the trick of dispelling her nausea. Then she heard her pillow mumble something sleepily and shift closer.
A thought came to her and Lan Fan felt her blood run cold.
Opening her eyes again, Lan Fan took a moment to gauge her surroundings. As suspected this was not her bedroom. Silk curtains, elaborate wood carvings on the ceiling and four-post bed, the scent of incense, the gold and jade accents: this was definitely not her bedroom. And since this was not her bedroom nor the infirmary or servants' quarters, she was sure that if she turned around she would find that her "pillow" was actually the Emperor of Xing himself.
She turned with her eyes squeezed shut, peeked down at him, went red from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes, and turned around again. Oh boy, she had to get out of this bed before someone found them.
As she slid forward the sheets fell free of her and she felt the goose pimples rise on her bare skin. That halted her advance as assuredly as if she had been tied. Someone had cut away her clothes (she peeked under the sheets to make sure then breathed a sigh of relief,) most of them anyway. If Grandfather were alive to see this spectacle, Lan Fan was sure she would be beaten as if she were a disobedient little child again. Shame and disgrace! A bodyguard half-naked in her master's bed? If he were merciful, the emperor would have let her die of the poison!
The poison!
Lan Fan looked at once to her injured arm and found no trace of the injury at all. In fact, looking over the rest of her body, she found no trace of any of her more recent injuries. Her skin was as smooth as any concubine's, clearer too with a healthy pink flush that suggested a life of leisure rather than the strenuous schedule Lan Fan lived by. There was only one thing that could heal as well as this: the emperor must have used the philosopher's stone.
Turning back to him now, determined to shake him awake and scold him (well maybe not scold, so much as thank him and appeal with His Celestial Majesty not to waste his power on something so trivial,) Lan Fan was startled to find the emperor not only awake but staring at her. And he looked as if he had been that way for some time, unabashed and slightly amused.
It would be to her eternal horror that all Lan Fan could do then was squeak, "Eee!"
Emperor Yao burst out laughing. Lan Fan's mortification deepened. Would Young Master never take anything seriously? Did he not understand the gravity of the situation? What if one of the other guards saw her like this? What if one of the maids came in? How had he gotten her up into his chambers anyway?
The emperor gradually stopped laughing and sat up and he asked at once, "Good to see you up again. How are you feeling, Lan Fan?"
Remembering protocol, and determined to show that at least one of them had a sense of propriety, Lan Fan turned properly to face the emperor, slid into seiza and bowed low. Then she said, "Thank you for your concern, but I am fine, my lord."
Instead of the proper formal dismissal she was expecting, Lan Fan was treated to a near heart attack when the emperor suddenly seized her by the arms and dragged her upright, taking care to cocoon her in the sheets. And she nearly fell over at the nervous and definitely not jovial expression on his red face when he said, "Ah, let's not... Ah, let's forgo the formalities for now, okay? You're still recuperating! Haha! Sit-no, lie down, lie down, get back under those covers and get some rest! I insist!"
She gave herself a quick once over again and found nothing out of the ordinary. Her bindings were still tight and she'd been left in her hakama, so what was there for him to be embarrassed about? Oh! Was Young Master feeling ashamed for her? Would Lan Fan's disgrace never end?
She began to protest again as he began to tuck her in.
"My lord, I am grateful for your kindness and mercy but I need to return to my room... Or perhaps go to the infirmary. If anyone sees me here there will be talk, my lord. I'm ash-"
"Would you like for breakfast? Or maybe I should say brunch? You must be starving! I know I would be if I slept for four days," said the emperor, blithely cutting across her protests.
Lan Fan shot upright again when she realised what he'd said. "F-four days! M-my lord... I've been asleep for four days?"
The emperor seemed unperturbed by her behaviour, and insistently pushed her back down onto the bed again and resumed tucking her in. He asked, "Your breakfast? The physician said we should start you out with something hot but anything you'd like you can have."
"I'd like to get out of this bed," said Lan Fan, now irritated and then remembering her manners, added quickly, "M-my lord."
"And you will," said Emperor Yao, now heading to the door, presumably to summon a servant to get breakfast. "As soon as you're strong enough. You very nearly died, you know. The poison they used came from an animal so toxic it kills its own kind if it isn't careful." And then he was gone leaving Lan Fan to decipher the unspoken command in his sentence: you're not to leave that bed until I say so.
Lan Fan did her best to ignore the thrill that raced her spine at the thought. She had gotten better at suppressing her romantic feelings for Young Master over the years but they were definitely still there. How many times had she imagined awakening in his bed beside him? About as many times as she scolded herself for wanting to be treated like a concubine when she knew she was far more useful to the emperor at his back than in his bed. Let other women compete for his attention and the possibility of bearing his children, (not that they were entirely sure that was possible since his stint as Greed) she would have his eternal respect and friendship.
Yes, that thought did ring hollow through her head. She had greed inside her to put the homunculus itself to shame, if she was going to be honest with herself. Lan Fan wanted Emperor Yao all to herself, Xing be damned, and if she could have him she would never let him go.
Moments later the emperor returned followed by a line of servants each carrying several heavily-laden trays that could easily feed a small army. Of course that took care of his breakfast, so what did he bring for her?
Lan Fan sat up again, doing her best to avoid the eyes of the female staff that she was sure were already concocting fantastic descriptions of her appearance. The emperor, oblivious to this, set about directing the spread while helping himself to a pastry. Then another servant who had come in unnoticed previously, stepped to Lan Fan on the bed and said, "My lady, a dressing gown for you."
Lan Fan was sure she must have been hallucinating for she could have sworn a fellow servant had addressed her "my lady". The emperor, untouched by such delusions, commanded, "Set it there."
The servant deposited the dressing gown as instructed, bowed to the emperor and left. He was swiftly followed by the others and then Lan Fan and Emperor Yao were left alone in his chambers again.
There was a moment of silence where the two tried not to look at each other and yet still found their gazes drawn back as if pulled by some unseen force. The unexpected awkward moment was made even worse by the fact that this scene was not dissimilar to another very different one. Then Lan Fan reached for the dressing gown and the emperor spun away from her and with a clap went to the table where breakfast had been laid and began filling a series of plates. Then he gave Lan Fan her second great shock for the morning when he proceeded to set them on the bed for her. This was simply too much.
"My lord!" Lan Fan exclaimed, stunned, shifting away from the plates as if they were poisoned.
The emperor ignored her retreat, sitting down at the foot of the bed. He popped another pastry in his mouth and asked, "Are you that afraid of how this looks? Of what they might say on finding you here? They've already seen you here for the past few days, and I seriously doubt they would believe the Son of Heaven would take advantage of an unconscious woman."
Lan Fan coloured under the admonishment, embarrassed now that she had ever thought such a thing. Still, there were certain things that were simply not done. She shifted closer again, smoothed the sheets over her waist and said, "My lord, I am grateful for your kindness and consideration, but I can take care of myself now."
The emperor helped himself to a bowl of fruit and replied, "I know. However, the physician cannot be reasoned with, he would not even consent to visitors beyond myself and I was forced to sleep on the floor."
"My lord!" Lan Fan gasped, scandalised.
He continued blithely, "I had to pull rank just to be able to sleep in my own room and even then he insisted that he would primarily see to your care."
"My lord," Lan Fan repeated, trying to calm down and get him to respond with the seriousness she required. "Your kindness is too much. Please allow me to return to my quarters."
The emperor levelled her a serious look under which she began to quail while her heart raced. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity he said, "Oh my, Lan Fan. You're right, you do need a bath!"
"W-what?" Lan Fan stammered out, stunned. Then she had to suppress a scream when the emperor suddenly grabbed her by the arm, pulled her across the bed into his arms and lifted her off and away. And then they were heading to his private baths where a tub had already been prepared.
Lan Fan's last protest before he dumped her in was a screeching, "My lord, no!"
She resurfaced the just-above-lukewarm water a moment later, her hair a curtain clinging to her face and neck, sputtering and spitting like a cat someone had tried to drown. The emperor's bellowing laughter rang in her ears like a gong in the throne room. When they were younger, before the realities of their station took root in their heads, Lan Fan would have shot out of the water and pulled him in after her. Instead she just sat low in the water and wondered if she could splash him "accidentally". But no, Young Master could never be disrespected like this, even if he enjoyed making fun of his poor servant.
And then there was a disturbance in the water's surface and Lan Fan looked up to discover that she had been joined in the bath by the emperor. It worried her immensely that she had not noticed when he had discarded his robes. She dared to peek through the water. Amendment: it worried her immensely that she hadn't noticed when he'd discarded all of his clothes.
Ever the exhibitionist, the emperor stretched as far as he could and said, "You know, you can't really bathe in all that. The blood on your pants is mixing with the water."
Now, now this time, this was too much. But then the emperor added, "The doctor said a warm bath would help you recover faster. I agree, I feel better already."
Lan Fan said nothing; there was an unspoken order again: you will stay and bathe with me. Grandfather would have been furious. Sometimes he would let Young Master have his indiscretions but most days he would have beaten them both, though Young Master's beating would have been more subtle, like during practice.
But Grandfather was not here anymore.
Lan Fan removed her pants first, so as to avoid unnecessary movement later and then sunk down lower to undo her bindings. She tossed both of them out of the bath with her back to the emperor, then sank down into the water again and closed her eyes. A deep breath and she slipped below the surface, counted to fifty and then resurfaced.
Maybe she was over-reacting. So, yes, the emperor was teasing her but he was only trying to be kind. Yes, it was irritating a little, to be treated so gently as if she was one of the ladies of the court but she had just had a near-death experience. And yes, it was more than a little heart-breaking that she could not have the option of both being at his back and his side, but that was fine, this was what she had chosen and she was happy with it. Really, she was not even that bothered sharing a bath with him because they used to do it all the time as children.
"Lan Fan," said the emperor suddenly, from somewhere close behind her.
She started and half-turned back towards him before remembering her lack of clothing and stopped herself. Thankfully her voice was steady as she said, "Yes, my lord?"
She was half-expecting the hand that came to rest on her shoulder, then swept the wet hair away to expose her back. She could not help the tremor that went through her then, but hoped he did not notice. He at least made no mention of it when he said, "Let me bathe you."
That was the final straw. Forgetting all self-consciousness in her indignation, Lan Fan stood up at once and began heading for the edge of the bath. No more of this, she was getting out. There was a point when things stopped being light-hearted teasing and became dangerous and very forbidden flirtation. Emperor Yao knew very well what Grandfather would have said about this, and none of it would have been pleasant.
Then the emperor said, "Lan Fan, wait."
Deeply-ingrained sense of duty stayed her at the edge of the bath. She did not turn around or sink into the water again, but the emperor did not appear offended. Instead he said, "I'm sorry if I offended you, Lan Fan. It's just that I-well, I saw you die and since then I haven't... Please, let me feel..." His voice trailed off as his hands came to her shoulders and his lips descended onto her shoulder blade.
Whatever happened to the physician's instructions?
Lan Fan was so stunned by the turn of events that for a moment she could not move. The emperor trailed kisses up her neck to her ear and she felt each one as a bloom of fire low in her belly. But this was wrong.
Stepping out of his grasp was the hardest thing she had ever done. And it did not help that he released her so reluctantly.
"Young Master, you cannot," she said, squeezing her eyes shut and willing her heart to calm. "I request a day's leave to rest. I will return to your service at the usual time tomorrow."
There was a long silence. Lan Fan waited, then he sighed and said, "Granted."
Lan Fan released a breath she did not realise she had been holding and started out of the bath again. And then he asked, "Is that a birthmark?"
She almost swung around to hide it, but remembered herself at the last minute and dropped into the water. He did not laugh, but that was almost as dangerous as if he had for a moment later he was at her back again and whispering, "Do not hide from me. Why do you hide from me? I cannot hide from you."
Her traitorous heart started racing again.
He did not reach for her, for which she was grateful but he continued, "I...cannot hide anymore. I thought I could live with it, the possibility of you dying...but I cannot...not anymore...not without knowing that we...that there could be something more." Lan Fan kept her back to him, not daring to move or even breathe. Now he reached for her, a hand on her shoulder to turn her to him. She went without protest, and lifted her gaze to his face as he said, "Do not hide anymore."
She squeezed her eyes shut but he kissed her anyway, lightly, at the corner of her mouth. She breathed in sharply and he kissed her again, properly, and despite herself she put her hands up around his shoulders. He smiled against her mouth and said, "Until we could heal you I lived in fear that you would die right there and it would all be for nothing."
Lan Fan scowled, pulled away and replied, "I am your guard, it is my duty."
He pulled her closer again and said, "I know your secret. I've read it in your qi."
Lan Fan's heartbeat skipped a beat, but the emperor would not let her get away. He tightened his grip ever so slightly. "I am not displeased." She turned her head away and he grasped her face by the chin and forced her to look at him. "No hiding, remember? I am not displeased, I'm very pleased. Do you know how important you are to me? You are more than just a guard. You will always be more than just a guard."
He lifted his other hand to cradle her face and kissed her again. When he released her, he rested his forehead against hers. Lan Fan breathed in deeply, released it and nodded. He grinned, a Ling grin, one she had not seen in a long time and for some time they just sat together in silence. And then he asked, "So will you let me bathe you now?"
Lan Fan pushed him away and left the bath. Newly transformed though their relationship may be, and the thought made Lan Fan phoenix-robe red to her toes, there were still going to be boundaries.