Fairly Odd Stalkers
or...
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"Mmm... Look at him, just practicing his kung fu without a shirt," Veronica moaned happily as she watched Timmy practicing katas in the park. "Ooh, he's such a hunk!" She leaned forward and drooled wantonly from her hiding place in a tree. "I'd like to rub him down in oil and go sliding~..."
"Hey!" Growled another feminine voice. Veronica looked over at the opposing branch, and her eyes narrowed as she saw her one meaningful rival.
"Tootie," Veronica growled.
"Veronica," Tootie growled back.
The two young women glared furiously at one another. The very leaves around them began to burst into flames from their jealous fury.
"Stop stalking my future husband!" Tootie snarled.
"He's not yours! We're going to have a hundred children and he's going to star in B-movies and we're going to have a fantastic lower upper class life as he becomes an Internet meme!" Veronica snarled back.
"... Wow. That's a lot more detailed than my fantasy life with Timmy," Tootie said, rubbing her chin.
Trixie Tang jogged passed, her long hair flowing in the breeze, her tight jogging shorts and tanktop beautifully accentuating a figure many a man would risk jail for just to look. Timmy Turner, despite being a pink hat-wearing badass, actually paused his training long enough to get an eye full, before he returning to punching his large green punching bag. Timmy's two stalkers stared after Trixie, and then slowly looked at one another.
"Does your fantasy life also include murdering Trixie Tang in a tragic motorhome accident?" Veronica asked.
"I was going to go with 'trick her into marrying Tad and Chad leaving her a broken woman after they divorce her for prettier women and she kills herself,'" here Tootie took a deep breath, "buuut that works too!"
"Hmmm... Maybe we should pool our resources together. Wife and mistress to Timmy Turner," Veronica said with a smirk.
"I call wife!" Tootie said. Veronica scowled.
"My idea! I'm the wife!"
"I've loved him longer!" Tootie growled. Veronica huffed.
"Fine, I'll be the mistress... But only if I can be his manager!"
"Well, I'm planning on becoming a doctor," Tootie said, tapping her chin, "but okay!"
"Really? Doctor? Not some granola munching limp wristed activist?" Asked Veronica. Tootie snorted.
"What do you think this is, a Nickelodeon Original TV movie?"
"Touche," Veronica said with a nod. "Well! Let's shake on our diabolical plan!"
The two women did so, and began to cackle maniacally as each planned to betray the other girl after having no more use for her.
"TWERP!" Cried a voice every kid in Dimmsdale had learned to fear. Timmy ceased his practice and sighed as Vicky strode up to him with a smirk.
"You really have to harass me outside of babysitting, Vicky?" Timmy asked flatly. The redhead's smirk grew a degree more... Sultry, and Timmy gulped.
"Depends on the kind of harassment, twerp," she said. She turned, grabbed his wrist, and huffed as she dragged him off. "Now come on! I need someone to carry my bags for me while I go shopping and you'll look better with a woman's fashion advice anyway!"
"Ack! Help!" Timmy cried as his green punching bag, purple bag and pink belt vanished. Neither Tootie nor Veronica noticed this.
"... Did that look like she-?" Veronica tried.
"No," Tootie said flatly.
"But I'm pretty sure I-"
"NO."
"But she-!"
"NO," Tootie snarled. Veronica gulped and nodded.
"Of... Of course! Whatever you say!"
Now I know how my parents feel, Veronica thought to herself miserably.