Chapter One – Over and Under Mountains

Happy endings are not a requirement for fairy tales.

Old Took had told her that once when she was very young. The story of his great hero and the beast ended in tragedy. The white knight slew the beast, and the beast killed him in turn. The day was saved at a great cost. Bilba had cried on his lap, demanding a change.

What he told her then was wisdom she was too young yet to understand.

"A story does not always end in a happily ever after. Happy endings are not a requirement for fairy tales."

Bilba had sniffled and buried her head into his chest.

"We root for the hero, we follow and trust them with our lives. In the end the hero will always save the day for us, but sometimes he cannot save himself. That is why we always support him, but we never fall in love. For heroes rescue princesses and queens. They slay dragons. But we, Bilba, my dear, we are his warriors. We are following him on his quest, from start to end. If the story is to be changed, it is you who must do the changing."

Some hero her great leader was turning out to be. Bilba was sure they'd had at least one spat a day since they'd met. The rude git. Not that she hadn't started a number of those herself. But he started it all by insulting her in her own doorway. A grocer, honestly!

Bilba Baggins may have had her eccentricities, but she was a most respectable hobbit, thank you very much. She may have been an old spinster nearly out of her childbearing years, but it's not as if she wanted to marry or have any children. She had always had better things to do than worry about the hobbit men around town, or whether or not she'd have a child to take over her estate someday. She had more than a dozen cousins ready to fight for that.

She was her own woman and master of Bag End. Save her life alone, she was highly regarded. She was a picture of respectability.

Or, she had been. That was completely shot now, she feared.

She had been snotted on by a troll, made a fool of herself in front of Lord Elrond (oh, her mother would be both amused and mortified), and she smelled like the back end of a pony on her best days and somehow managed to look twice as bad.

She wanted to die.

Oh, if her father could see her now.

She took a deep breath and continued on into the mountains.

The Misty Mountains brought awe to Bilba's eyes. They were huge from a distance, but on top of them they were terrifying and fantastic.

Thorin glared back from the front of the line. She was lagging again. "Halfling! Keep up!"

Bilba grimaced at Thorin's forth snip at her that morning. He had been in a particularly bad mood. First he drags her out of bed by the shoulder, demanding she hurry up as they were leaving immediately, then he yelled at her every so often to stay close. She wasn't even lagging that far behind, and she was with Bofur most of the time at that. Infuriating dwarf!

But she was trying a new tactic of dealing with their leader. Normally she would have snapped right back. She would have told him to keep his eyes on the path, not on her, as he was the one to get lost twice on the way to her home, once leaving the Shire, and countless times in Rivendell. She even had to walk him back to the company once, and he grumbled the entire way about elvish labyrinths. Today she decided to just shut up and hope that maybe he would get tired of baiting her into fights.

"Is he always so angry?"

Bofur shrugged. "That's dealing with the elves, lass. He's not fond of them."

"He doesn't seem fond of anything."

He laughed. "Ah, lass, if only you knew. You've both gotten off on a bad foot this journey. He's not so bad once you get to know him."

She nodded but hardly believed him. "If you say so."

Bilba hung back again. True, Thorin could be less than angry sometimes. He had on occasion actually seemed nice. Or maybe she was just imagining it. After all she'd been taught to find the good in everyone. She could even force herself to think well of Lobelia on occasion. Rare occasion.

There were the nights she'd catch his stare only to have him scowl at her, but sometimes she'd get a quiet nod. Sometimes she'd wake in the middle of a chilly night as a blanket was thrown over her and she'd catch his boots retreating. She was sure it had more to do with keeping her from getting sick and slowing them down, than any form of caring.

Oh, Thorin was frustrating, and it just made her more determined to prove him wrong. She could be useful. She could help. She just cared, really, what he thought of her, and wasn't that completely silly. He was the only one so far who had not even tried to be friendly with her.

She wasn't sure what she'd done to earn his ire.

You did elude that you would give him a black eye at your first meeting, her brain supplied. Yeah, that had been a stupid thing to do.

"What's your weapon of choice," he asked in that haughty voice of his. "Ax or sword?"

"Well, I have blacked a few eyes in my day."

And you nearly got him and the company eaten by trolls. But she had helped save them in the end... that had to count for something.

She sighed and trudged on, a fat rain drop hitting her on the nose.

"Halfling! Move up! I'm sick of you lagging behind!"

She ground her teeth. "Stop watching me and watch the path before you fall off!"

So much for her new tactic. She huffed and pushed herself up by Fili and Kili who were whistling some lighthearted tune.

Dwalin laughed behind Thorin and pushed his shoulder forward and spoke where only they could hear. "Aye, you stare at her enough at camp. Best to not get distracted and walk over the ledge."

"Ridiculous," he spat.

Dwalin smirked. "You think I'm the only one whose noticed?"

Thorin swung an elbow and caught him in the ribs. "It is my job as leader of this company to keep and eye on all its members. I can hardly help that the hobbit needs the most watching after. She has a penchant for falling into trouble."

Dwalin snorted. "More than your nephews? It's worse than I thought."

"You sound like an idiot."

He shook his head. "Well, then that's two of us."

In the last two hours the torrent of rain had threatened to sweep her over the edge of the mountain three times. Dori had tutted at her and told her she ought to get a pair of boots. Then there was the thunder. It had made her jump clear out of her skin twice. And she isn't proud of it, but she may have wet herself just a tiny bit, because, dear Mother, there were stone giants. In this great wide world there were stone giants!

Bilba wished for her arm chair and her books and, blast, she'd even take Lobelia over this. She never thought she'd die because of a giant hurtling boulders at her.

They rose up out of the mountains themselves.

Everything in her froze at the sight of one mountain falling towards her. She couldn't even process what was happening. She registered the deafening sounds of one mountain crashing into another, but she couldn't comprehend what she was hearing. The rain had washed her feet out from under her and she was left clawing the cliff face.

Her mind carefully went blank and she focused solely on the feeling of stone under her fingers, under her nails. The breaking and biting of her skin.

She would recall nothing of dangling over the edge, save for trying to grip the mountain side.

Bofur and Ori lunged for her but it was Thorin who grabbed her. It was Thorin who jumped over the ledge to grab her and drag her back up.

At the sight of his nephew's near death Thorin's body went cold. His blood was already ice when he heard Bofur's panic. "Where's Bilba!?"

She was slipping

She was falling.

He jumped.

When Bilba found her feet back on the mountain side she wanted to collapse, but Bofur held her upright. Dwalin smiled, "I thought we'd lost our burglar."

"She is a fool and a danger to herself. She should not have come," he snapped. Instead of anger her heart sunk. He could have let her fall, but he saved her just to berate her once more. She thought her heart could sink no lower but Thorin spoke again and it was like venom in her veins. "She has no place amongst us."

After that she kept her eyes down and kept close to the rear, but not so far as to get another lashing. Soon enough they found a dry cave, and she thanked the Mother for small mercies.

She didn't speak during their meager dinner, nor when Oin pulled her aside and bandaged her dirty and bloodied fingers. She twisted her hands in her skirt and sat far from the company and watched the rain.

"Bofur, you take first watch."

"Aye."

Bilba sighed and shifted when Bofur came over and laid a hand on her arm. "You alright there?"

"I'm fine."

"Don't pay any mind to what Thorin said," he watched her fidget. "He didn't mean all that." She just nodded and left to set up her bed roll for the night. Of course she'd nearly stumble into Thorin in the process. She went ridged and he stepped around her.

"Thank you for saving me," she said as he stepped by.

He sighed. Aulë, why was she doing this? He very nearly wanted to say "You're welcome," or something else to forget the fact that he jumped over the side of the cliff without thinking. But instead he looked down at her bandaged fingers. "Be more careful. You nearly got yourself killed with your clumsiness."

She winced. Some Took part of her wanted say something back. Anything. But it was only a very small part. And she was a Baggins after all.

She laid on her side quietly rolling the words back and forth in her head.

Thorin was right, of course. She shouldn't be here. What place did she have? She was here but by Gandalf's wishes. A misplaced hobbit among dwarves and far from green grasses and rolling hills. Her heart was a stone in her chest when she stood up without a sound. Like a thief in the night. She would have laughed had she not been so close to crying.

For all they fought she wasn't sure why she cared so much about what Thorin thought of her. At least she thought she had some place here, if even as a hired burglar.

Perhaps she could find a place in Rivendell, at least for a while. Somewhere in the back of her mind she didn't even think she would find a place if she returned to the Shire. She would have a home, but not a place. Not anymore.

She'd been lying to herself ever since she started playing the role of Respectable Miss Baggins. She wasn't, and this whole journey was just an excuse to get away from it. And all it did was solidify that she was just as wild as she was when she was a girl. Covered in dirt and breaking the rules. She'd be looked down at for the rest of her life, and would only be saved from mocking by her money and her Took cousins.

She pulled her pack on as silently as she could. She'd been fooling herself all along, it seemed. She had no right to be on this adventure. She'd have been gone too, down the path, had Bofur not caught her and pleaded for her to stay.

"Where are you going?" He was up and on her in an instant.

"Back to Rivendell, I suppose."

"But you can't leave, lass. You're on of us."

She knew the tears in her throat could be heard as she spoke. "I'm not though, am I? You heard Thorin. I have no place here. All I've done is get into trouble or manage to offend people. And he nearly fell, trying to save me," she threw a hand back towards the cave. "He's right to say I have no place here."

"Shh," he said, trying to get her to sit down and think it through. She couldn't just up and leave. They were friends now, weren't they? "You're homesick, and feeling a bit lonely. It's okay. I understand."

She sucked in a breath. "I can't. I just can't. He's right. I don't know what I was thinking coming along."

"Bilba..."

"You're all used this, this being on the road. I keep thinking of home and I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry."

Bofur tried his best to smile for her. He did. "At least wait until morning when it's light and the rain's stopped."

Thorin watched from across the cave. It was good she left. She deserved to be home among her own kind. Safe. He'd wanted to send her back into her door before they ever left the the front gate.

A woman should never be so endangered. He still intended to have words with the wizard. He had tried many times, only to be brushed off. Why would he ever risk her safety in this way? Bilba should be home and treasured, not damp and in peril. Not manhandled by trolls or run down by wargs. Everything in him wanted to take her back himself, or divide the group and have her escorted. His nephews would do well. And afterward they would continue to Ered Luin, safe with their mother...

Still, something in his chest clenched. What he said on the ledge had certainly not been his proudest moment. No, it was designed to hurt, meant to drive a spike into her.

He had watched her throughout their journey. It was his job as the leader, he told himself. And he saw her trying to make a place for herself. Trying to belong. It was easy to know where to strike to cause the most pain.

Oddly, he think he's grown fond of her. All the more reason to see her gone.

"I'll take you back," Bofur offered.

"No, you need to stay. You have a family to watch out for... If I go now it'll keep everyone from arguing about it one way or the other. It's better this way."

He was reaching out to hug her when the blue light caught his eye. "What's that?"

But then the floor hitched, and they found themselves falling into darkness.

In those tunnels Bilba thought of home. She could leave, she could try to make it out and go home. But her heart rebelled at the thought. That wasn't right. She couldn't just turn back. Not now. She couldn't leave her friends in a place like this. With goblins and who knew what else.

Bofur always had a smile for her and shared his stories. Bombur, quite though he was, always made conversation as she helped him with the cooking. He was a jolly man, who, like his brother, quickly befriended her.

Ori liked to talk about history and books with her, and she often found him writing down bits of information in his notebooks, or sketching something or other. He was sweet as a lamb.

And the boys often flanked her as they road and laughed about things with her. Fili and Kili sang ridiculous songs and tried to either pull pranks on her, or involve her in pranks on others. They reminded her of her Took cousins. She'd unintentionally started to mother after the both of them, worrying over minor cuts and tears in their shirts.

They were her friends. Every one of them, even Thorin.

She sighed.

It wasn't just a sense of duty, she cared about them all. About their safety and happiness. They couldn't just turn back at the hard part and go home.

She pulled out her blade and in the fading blue light she caught the glimmer of something golden in the dark.

"We hates it forever!" It echoed behind her as Bilba sprinted from the cave and down the mountain side. She prayed that the wretched creature she had found wouldn't dare come into the light.

The world was bleeding gray as she stumbled on the leveling ground. She picked up the sounds of an argument and she leaned against a tree to catch her breath.

"I'll tell you what happened!" Thorin shouted. "Miss Baggins saw her chance and she took it. She has gone home, where she should have stayed, wizard! She has longed for nothing but her hearth and books since first she stepped foot out of her door. We will not be seeing her again." And that was it. She had fought her way to the surface, outwitted an unnameable creature, and here she was, being berated when she could very well be dead. "What sort of fool are you, Gandalf?" She must have imagined the pain she was hearing in his words, but Thorin knew it was there even if he didn't know why. It hurt, because in all likelihood she was dead right now. Dead in some forgotten corner. And they could not return for her.

"But Nori saw her fall! We have to go back!" That was Kili's voice.

Fili grabbed him by the arm, ready to go back up to the mountain. "We'll go search."

"Us too," Bofur said, grabbing his brother and cousin by the shoulder.

Before anyone else could voice one way or another Thorin snapped, "No! We will have an army of goblins on us before nightfall. We have to move!"

"But Bilba," Fili started. And, damn, she could hear the hurt in his voice.

"I'm fine," she finally slipped off her ring and stepped from behind the tree. "I'm okay." She watched a wave of relief wash over the company. It took all her strength then not to cry for the looks on their faces. Whether or not she belonged didn't matter then. She had people who would risk a goblin army to rescue someone who could have been dead, and by all means should have been.

"I've never been so happy to see someone in all my life," Gandalf said, his old shoulders sagging and a smile across his face.

"How did you get out?"

"What happened?"

"What does it matter," Gandalf said. "She's back."

"It matters," and Bilba stood stock still in Thorin's gaze. "Why did you come back?"

She held herself as strong as she could, which right now was surprisingly so. "I know what you must think of me. I'm small, and weak. I have more than once needed saving. And you're right that I miss my books and my garden. That's home for me. Before this my home was always my place. That's why I came back. You don't have one. A home. It was stolen, but I will help you get it back if I can. If I can get you home, then well, that's what I'll do. I'll take you home."

She meant it with all her heart.

But there was no time then to speak when not goblins but orcs set on them. They were driven up into the trees with wargs tearing at their roots. Fifteen birds in five fir trees. The sheer force of the beasts had them toppling one by one until they hung out over a drop to their death.

A great white beast, for that is all Bilba could call him, said something rough in his mess of a language and she watched Thorin rise up and run to his own death. She heard Dwalin cry out when Thorin was thrown by the jaws of warg. She heard Balin, Fili and Kili scream. She heard them all somewhere in the back of her head as the blood pounded in her ears and she followed Thorin. She ran and let loose a battle cry that would have made Bullroarer Took proud. She felt the pop and the rush and the orc's black blood seeping through the front of her shirt.

She swung blindly at the white warg. All her mind could say was "Not him. You can not take him. This quest is nothing without him." Still, it could very well of been shouted at the tops of her lungs for all the fear in her tiny frame. The fight was a rush, as others clawed their way from the tree and dove onto the orcs. It felt like only a moment had past between Thorin's fall and the white warg pushing her back. When had she fallen? She scrambled backwards and everything moved too quickly around her. There was an awful screeching and she was flying in the dark, screaming orcs and wargs left far behind her.

The world stood still to compensate, it seemed, when they were placed down miles away. Bilba stood back as the dwarves rushed to their leader's side. And she prayed to the Mother he was alright. That she'd come in time. An hour passed in the minute that the wizard leaned over Thorin and spoke in an ancient tongue.

She heard him croak something and Gandalf reply, "It's alright. Bilba is quite safe."

Dwalin was hauling Thorin to his feet and she nearly rushed to him when he stumbled, but his glare froze her feet to the stone, her smile falling to a frown.

"You nearly got yourself killed! What were you thinking?" If Thorin heard the break in his own voice it did not stop him. If anyone heard, they did not judge. "Did I not say you would not survive in the wild? That you should go home? That you have no place here?"

Bilba didn't bite her lip, but she could not hold up her head and hear this. She could not keep up the courage Belladonna had given her, nor the strength Bungo had taught her. Instead she nearly stepped away.

The embrace was a shock to her system. Arms tight around her and her head forced to tilt up over Thorin's shoulder and into his neck. The smell of blood and sweat filled her. "I have never be so wrong in all my life." It was softly spoken against her hair. He held her for what was probably too long to be respectable, but neither cared. He was alive. That was all Bilba cared about in the moment. Not his kind words, nor his warm embrace. He was alive, and she would damn well not let him go until she was sure he was breathing and real.

But, Thorin was equally worried that he was dreaming that she was safe and breathing. He lost consciousness, but not before he saw her standing over him, sword in hand, with Azog bearing down on her.

"I am sorry I ever doubted you," he whispered.

He held her away to look her over. By what miracle she escaped unscathed he did not know, but he silently blessed the Maker.

"I would have doubted me too," she said. He could only smile and shake his head for her nonsense. "I'm a coward. I'm not a hero."

"Today you are," he said, and nearly hugged her again, but just above her shoulder he saw it. She turned and followed his gaze.

"Is that?"

Even Bilba had to take a deep breath. "Our home," Thorin said, wrapping an arm around her and looking down to see her face filled with wonder at the sight on the horizon.

Erebor.

"I promise you," she whispered. "I promise I'll do everything I can to get you there."