9.13 The Purge tag – Because this is the only way I can reconcile what I witnessed in that final disturbingly raw and emotionally brutal scene. I need to sort through the Winchesters' differing perspectives and try to get inside their tormented, warped brains to reach out as they obviously cannot do at the moment! Dammit, writers, you are ripping our hearts out and stomping on them. Stop it! Now! Please!

I naturally see things from Dean's POV, but I'm trying to figure out Sam's. I hope to explore all possible angles and hopefully come up with something to explain why Dean and I have lost our Sammy that we love so fiercely and desperately need back! I KNOW Sam loves Dean and would fight heaven and hell to save him…I just need to feel it again! Because Sam's words not only devastated Dean, they destroyed my belief…and I need it back! ~ B.J.

Family Starts With Blood

Chapter One - The Brutality of Words

I'm used to getting knocked around.

Kicked when I'm down.

Agonizing actions, brutal blows,

Casual cruelty and deliberate digs.

I don't break that easy.

Conditioned to pain and disappointment.

Enduring the slams and slights.

Defenses locked down.

Safe behind strong barricades.

Or barreling into the fight.

I've only ever needed one thing.

My family.

With my brother watching my back, united in battle.

I can handle anything.

But not this.

Faith doesn't just slip away; it's shattered.

Casual, cruel words reveal what I could never imagine.

Worse than my worst fears.

The realization sobering.

"You'd do the same."

"No…I wouldn't."

The End

bjxmas

February 2014

All standard disclaimers apply.

Dammit, Sam! You're Winchesters! You're supposed to have a dysfunctional, dependent life with your brother! You're not normal and normal things like living your own life isn't what your life will ever be. There's a reason why you're supposed to save your brother. There's a reason why both of you have died and come back to life so many times…you have a job to do, and it's not yet done!

So forgive your brother because nothing is worth losing what you have. Who else has your history, knows those childhood tales, cares as much and feels so deeply? Get over it, please, because Dean needs his Sammy back and I don't think you truly want to lose your brother!

Thanks for reading and please…share your thoughts.

Later, B.J.