I have emerged from the icy tundra and recovered my electricity to bring you this!

As usual, I have the absolute best beta ever, and I would probably never get anything done without her. So a round of applause for Greenyoda987!

Shrill, rhythmic trills roused Shepard, startling her into sitting up, her eyes flying around the room as she gasped. Just a dream… She cradled her head in her hands, panting as she willed her heart to slow. Just a dream again… The trills started up again and she started, staring blankly at her wrist as the orange interface of her omnitool blinked to life insistently. An alarm… An alarm? She never set alarms… She never slept long enough to need one. Groggily, she flicked the screen on, rubbing her eyes on the back of her hand.

"Hey, Shepard, heads up. I'm headed your way, the Committee wants to see you, so dress nice."

Of fucking course… With a groan, she threw herself out of bed. "Right, yeah… I'll be here, you know… waiting." Her mouth felt fuzzy and she grimaced, shuffling into the adjoining bathroom.

"You just gettin' up, Commander?" She could hear the thinly masked amusement in his voice and snorted.

"Don't call me that," she replied automatically, "And for your information, yes. Now I need to shower." Before he could answer, she ended the call and flipped the water on. As steam began to rise, she shimmied out of her clothes and stepped in, sighing gratefully. But she didn't have the luxury of time, and soon it was back out into the world, sliding into the comfortable blues of a military that didn't love her back. She swept her hair up into a pony tail and paused in front of the picture window dominating her wall. Heavy grey clouds hung in the sky, yet the air was still mercifully free of rain. A boy ran about the greens below, a model fighter in his fist; a melancholy smile pulled at Shepard's lip and she gave a small shake of her head.

Three raps brought her attention back within her prison and she glanced back at the door. "It's open."

The door opened cautiously and James stepped in. "Commander," he said quickly, snapping a salute before she could stop him.

"James…"

He grinned insolently as she stepped away from the window. "I know, I know. Not supposed to call you that."

"Or salute me," she added, facing him and crossing her arms over her stomach. It had become a game between them, almost: he'd salute, she'd tell him not to, he'd ignore her, they'd laugh and move on.

"Well, we gotta go. Committee and all that."

With a nod, Shepard followed, trotting to keep up with his long strides through the halls. It was nice that they trusted her enough not to restrain her—it had been months—but it didn't stop the looks of reservation and mistrust she got from the people she passed. She bit the inside of her cheek and kept close to James as they ducked around a corner. And there, pushing through the crowd was a face she hadn't even known she wanted to see again.

"Anderson." She'd said it without thinking and James stopped to salute the admiral. Without hesitation, the older man shook her hand and nodded for them to follow. "What's going on?" Shepard asked, nodding toward the scrambling crowd around them.

Anderson stopped, fixing her with a steady look. "We've lost contact with some of our long-range outposts, completely dark. The committee is worried that—"

"Now they want to hear what I have to say? They didn't believe me before!" Shepard scowled. "They know what this is. And we're not ready. Not by a long shot."

"Tell that to the committee." From the exhaustion in his voice, Shepard knew he was just as tired of it as she was and she grudgingly began following him again.

"Unless we want to talk the Reapers to death, the committee is a waste of time," she growled, sidestepping a clerk with no spatial awareness. The man didn't even look back, eyes fixed on the datapad in his hand and Shepard shook her head.

"They're just scared," Anderson replied, "Besides, none of them have seen what you've seen. You've faced down a Reaper, hell you even spoke to one, then blew the damn thing up! You've seen how they harvest us, what they plan to do to us. You know more about this enemy than anyone."

Shepard's brow furrowed and she tried to keep the acid out of her voice, but it was futile. "Is that why they grounded me? Took away my ship?" All this talk of how she was their only hope, how they needed her… No one had cared what happened to her for months and now they wanted her to solve everything again? It wasn't a question of whether or not she would—doubtless, she would—but the assumption still chaffed. And she still wasn't ready to forgive all of the doubt and suspicion they'd pointed her way.

Anderson stopped, grabbing her arm to stop her too. She could see the worry etched into the lines of his face as he frowned at her like a disappointed father. "You know that's not true," he said quietly. After a quick glance, he continued, "When you blew up the batarian relay, hundreds of thousands of batarians died."

"It was that or we let the Reapers walk right in our backdoor," Shepard retorted tightly. This was an argument she had raged with herself over and over and it always came down to the same thing: yes, she was a monster for letting it happen, but at least she had saved everyone else. The galaxy seemed so quick to forget all of the lives she had saved and the extra time she'd gotten them.

"I know that, Shepard, and so does the committee." She could tell he was trying to placate her and bit the inside of her cheek again. "If it wasn't for that, you'd have been court-martialed and left to rot in the brig!"

"That and your good word," she muttered sarcastically. She could see his eyes narrow, but made no move to apologize. She was done apologizing.

"Yeah, I trust you, Shepard. And so does the committee."

She laughed, shaking her head. "I'm just a soldier, Anderson. I'm no politician. I'm as alien to them as they are to me." She sighed a bit, pressing against her eyebrows in the hopes of warding off a headache. "No, they don't trust me, they just want me on a leash to keep me from doing any more damage."

"Whatever they want you to be, I don't care," Anderson replied, starting off down the halls again, "I just need you to do whatever the hell it takes to help us stop the Reapers."

And she would. Whatever it took, whatever stood in the way, she would stop the Reapers, that was a certainty. With a huff, she followed, nodding vaguely to the corpsman that greeted them and lead them toward the committee's meeting chamber.

"Shepard." She turned quickly, internally surprised that James had opted to follow, but smiled and took the offered hand. "Good luck."

Shepard shook her head. "Hold off on that, Lieutenant," she said quietly, "We're going to need it later." She was gone before he could say anything more, breezing past the man that greeted Anderson and then Shepard in turn. The dark-haired man's expression fell and James watched them go with a mix of consternation and worry.

"You knew the Commander?" he finally asked the man—a major, if he'd heard right.

"I used to," Kaidan replied with a rueful smile.

Shepard grit her teeth and scowled at the panel of men and women seated above her. "You brought me here to tell you what you already know," she growled, looking at each in turn, "The Reapers are here." For a moment, the only sound was the concerned murmurs of the committee and Shepard settled into her hip.

"Then, what should we do? How can we stop them?"

She scoffed without thinking, setting her hands on her hips. "Stop them? This isn't about strategy, or tactics. This is about survival. Now I need you to listen to me and—"

Alarms began sounding and everyone froze as an analyst stood from her desk. "We've lost contact with Luna Base."

"The moon…" Anderson's disbelieving whisper made the hair on the back of Shepard's neck rise. They were already so close? How?

"We need to evacuate, now! If they're on the moon, then—"

"Shepard, we appreciate your experience with the Reapers, but right now, what we need is a plan and—"

Shepard took a challenging step forward and pointed an accusing finger at the panel of men and women murmuring amongst themselves. "For once just shut up and listen to me! If you don't, millions could die and I am not going to sit back and let you doom us all!" When silence greeted her, she took a long breath and straightened. "We need to evacuate Earth, before it's too—"

The muted sunlight that had been lighting the open room went dim and Shepard looked up out the window that formed the wall behind the committee's platform as the insect-like form of a Reaper descended, landing amidst the skyscrapers like they were nothing. Her heart stopped and she started backing away as people cried out in confusion and fear. A flash of red and adrenaline shot through her system.

"Move!"

It happened faster than anyone could have seen. The Reaper fired and the window shattered, showering anyone left standing in shards of glass. People dove for cover and Shepard could see Anderson following her retreat from the corner of her eye. The lofted platform the late committee had so contentedly presided from flew across the room, turning end over end before slamming to the ground, taking with it those unfortunate enough to be in its way. Shepard scrambled up from where she had dropped to the floor and looked back toward the smoldering hole the Reaper had left in the building, in time to see a second laser fire. The shockwave threw her backward and pain blossomed where her head bounced off the wall. Something slowed her fall to the floor, but she was only dimly aware, waiting for her equilibrium to return before trying to stand.

"Shepard!"

Her eyes cracked open and she sat up with a groan, gently feeling the lump on the back of her head. A hand was held down to her and she looked up at Anderson, his uniform torn, and dirt and blood smudged across his face. She could feel the thin trails of blood from more than a dozen tiny scratches on her cheeks, hands, and arms. With a groan, she took the offered hand and let him haul her to her feet. A gun was shoved into her hand and she took it automatically.

"Come on, we've got to rendez-vous with the Normandy."

"What in the hell is that?" James stared at the towering behemoth of machinery as it trudged through the city, shouldering aside buildings like they were made of paper. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before.

"That," Kaidan said from behind him, "is a Reaper. Just like Sovereign… Shepard was right, it was only a matter of time."

"You're telling me…" James swallowed heavily, regripping the assault rifle balanced in his hands. Just a few minutes ago, they'd been laughing about some stupid screw up down in R&D that had left a few techs deaf on one side, but now… He'd never thought he'd see the end. And this looked so much like the end of days. His home, under attack by an unstoppable force... Why hadn't anyone listened to Shepard…

"Come on, the Normandy's docked in the hangar next door. If we can get to her, maybe we can figure out what the hell to do." Kaidan's voice cut through his thoughts and James nodded automatically.

"Right… What about Shepard? And the Admiral?" he asked as they jogged through the carnage, sidestepping debris and smoldering carcasses of crashed ships.

"They were in the committee's chambers when the attack hit. I don't know if…" James could see the major's shoulders hunch forward. "We can't worry about that. Maybe we can get a message to Hackett from the Normandy QEC. See if we can't find out what happened…"

James kept his mouth shut. It would be no use saying that he didn't think they stood a chance against these things without Shepard, no matter how true it felt in the pit of his gut. Kaidan wrenched a piece of metal sheeting free and tossed it aside, exposing an access shaft running the length of the building. The maintenance lights glowed red, bathing the narrow space in an eerie glow.

"Homey," James quipped dryly, but Kaidan ignored him, slipping inside without a word. With a huff, James followed, glancing back the way they'd come. How long could Earth hold out against an army like this?

The shaft ended and they staggered back out into the light in time to see an Alliance cruiser scream by, her stern aflame, before she crashed into the sea and sank. James stared in horror, but Kaidan just sighed, his mouth pressed into a thin line.

"Come on, Lieutenant."

James took off after him a few seconds late, still watching the place the cruiser had gone down. The water roiled and foamed as the wreck sank deeper and deeper, but nothing rose to the surface. Was that what a war with the Reapers would be like? Sudden, unexpected, and hopeless? Did they even stand a chance?

Shepard does.

He shook his head, ducking into cover as the major did. "So. You knew the Commander?" he tried again.

"It was a long time ago." Kaidan didn't look at him, hopping over the fallen support beam that blocked their way.

"Still," James pressed, following at a respectful distance, "You must have seen this coming, being on her team."

Kaidan stopped suddenly and James nearly bumped into him, instead feigning interest in a scorch mark on the wall. "I don't know what I believed back then. I still don't. But I do know that we don't stand a chance against the Reapers if we run around on the ground. They'll crush us like ants. Come on, we—"

A flurry of motion ahead of them caught his attention and James tugged him back by the back of his shirt. Kaidan let out an indignant yell as he hit the ground, but James didn't hear, instead emptying a clip at the spot. The sound that came from the falling body wasn't human, nor synthetic and it made James shudder.

"You're welcome," he said casually, holding down a hand to help the major up.

"Right… Thanks."

Their progress became slow and cautious as they moved forward, checking every nook and cranny for hostiles. Kaidan had warned him about husks—abominations the Reapers made from captured or killed humans—and James wasn't sure he wanted anything like that jumping out at him. As they passed the creature James had shot, however, it became clear that husks weren't the only troops the Reapers made from their organic foes. Whatever it was, this thing was bigger, more advanced, and armed; a cannon replaced one of its hands and fleshy scales formed armor around large sections of its torso. Is this what the Reapers would do to the rest of the planet?

"Lieutenant, I think I found us a way to the hangars. If I can just—"

"Alenko, that you?" The voice over the comm sounded desperate.

"Joker! Yeah, it's me. I've got Lieutenant Vega here, we're on our way to you."

"Well, you better hurry! The automated guns have kept them off us for now, but if you want a working ship, we gotta get out of here, now!" Static blossomed over the line and James winced. "Any sign of—"

"Not yet. Have the Normandy ready to fly, Joker."

"I—Yes sir."

James opened his mouth to say something—what, he wasn't sure—but closed it again when he caught sight of a blue uniform amongst the carnage. Everything else was burnt, blackened, and bloody, yet that scrap of blue… A glance told him that Alenko was fussing with something on his omnitool and James took the chance, cautiously approaching the pile concealing what he hoped was a survivor. With a grunt, he lifted a chunk of the ceiling that had fallen in and tossed it aside and… His breath caught and for a second he thought he would be sick. Private Marks… Stupid girl, she never would have seen this coming… He knelt, trying to brush some of the dirt and blood from her face, but it seemed to be no use.

"J… James?"

He started, recoiling as her head turned slowly to look at him. One side of her face was perfect, save for the splatters of blood covering it, yet the opposite was almost missing, skin and muscle torn free in a way that looked like it had been done by hand. Her eye hung from the socket, still staring at him and he felt bile rising in his throat.

"Dios…"

"James, help me." She lurched toward him, reaching with one hand and he jumped back, on his feet in a second with his gun raised. Sinuous metal tubing crawled up one of her legs, and circuitry seemed to glow beneath the skin of the hand she reached for him with. Blood dripped from her scalp and he could see where the flap of skin had torn almost completely away from her skull. "Help me!"

A gunshot rang out and her head snapped back before she crumbled back to the floor. James could only stare, hands shaking as Kaidan came up alongside him again. "It's hard to watch them turn, knowing they'll come after you." He paused for a second before laying a hand on the marine's shoulder. "You knew her?"

"Y-yeah… I guess. Not well, but…" He shook his head and swallowed. "That's how it happens?"

"Sometimes. The Reapers are technologically advanced, there's no telling what they can and can't do."

"Nightmare stuff."

"You don't know the half of it." Before James could reply, Kaidan had started away again. "Come on, I have a read on the Normandy, and the rest of the way seems clear enough."

James followed without hesitation this time, desperate to put more distance between himself and what he'd just seen. But that wouldn't stop his thoughts. Was it always going to be like this? Would things be different if they had listened to Shepard?

Where was Shepard?

As they ducked around the last corner, the sleek curves of the Normandy came into view and James let out an audible sigh of relief. Even the major cracked a smile as they trotted up the gangway.

"Finally, jeezus. Did ya take the scenic route, or something?" the pilot demanded over the intercom as the cargo bay doors closed.

"Minor inconveniences," Kaidan replied evenly, "How are the comms?"

James heard a snort and decided whoever this pilot was, he had to be alright; a sense of humor made everything better. "A mess. Distress signals everywhere. I had to turn it off to keep from going mad. I can't get a line to Admiral Hackett, but I'm getting some odd chatter planetside not far from where the committee was holding court."

James looked up in surprise, and it seemed the major had the same idea. "Shepard?"

"Maybe. I'll see if I can't boost it."

"Do it, Joker. I'm on my way up. Lieutenant, stay here."

With that, he was gone and James had no choice but to stare after him. "Yes… sir…"

A bullet ricocheted off the cement barrier that Shepard had taken cover behind and she hunched lower, letting the dust and rubble fall in her hair rather than in her eyes.

"Three o'clock!"

"Got him!" Two quick shots sent the fleshy mechanical… thing reeling and a third through its eye made it fall. The assault rifle she'd picked up had run out of ammo long ago and she was down to her last clip in the pistol. What she wouldn't give for her old rifle…

"I'm out!"

Shepard swore under her breath and stood from behind cover to bring down one of the creatures that had gotten too close.

"This is Admiral Anderson to the Normandy, is anyone there? We need immediate assistance, repeat! We need immediate assistance!"

Shepard could feel her hands beginning to shake as more and more of the synthetic-organic hybrids they'd been fighting fell from the sky. Six more bullets… And more than six of them… She swallowed and stood, lining up the shot. Bang. One fell. Bang. Another. A bullet grazed her arm and she inhaled sharply through her teeth, but didn't drop back behind the wall. Two more shots and two more fell. And yet as she lined up her next target, she could see that there were more bearing down on them than there had been when they'd first called for help. Was she going to die again? The last two shots went wide, only crippling one of the numerous creatures as she dropped down to her hiding place.

"I'm out," she forced out, covering the graze on her arm with one hand as bullets rained down around them. Anderson slid over so he was beside her and she managed a sideways smirk, ignoring the feeling of blood against her fingers. "Just a graze, sir."

"Always gotta be the hero, huh kid?"

"Yessir."

"You did good." He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "You did good."

"And the cavalry is here!" Violent winds blew in, startling their attackers and the two humans looked up as the frigate swooped in above them.

"Joker?!"

"Come on!" Anderson dragged her to her feet and shoved her toward where the ship was waiting, cargo bay hanging open. They ran, scrambling up the debris as the Reapers' troops fired after them. As she crested the top of the debris, Shepard could see familiar faces firing back down and almost laughed out of relief. She leapt across the gap and Kaidan grabbed her arm to steady her.

"Thanks."

Yet Anderson stopped on the edge, looking back at the destruction of their home.

"Come on!"

The older man shook his head. "I have to stay."

Shepard stared, dumbfounded. "We need you!" I need you.

"They need me here. These people are going to need a leader, you know that!" When Shepard said nothing, he sighed. "Talk to the Council, see if you can't convince them to help us!"

"I don't take orders from you, remember?" Shepard replied, but the defiance was gone. It was childish, to try to refuse and make him escape with them, but she didn't like the thought of the only person she had ever considered close to a parent staying behind and flirting with death.

Anderson smiled, digging something out of his pocket. "Consider yourself reinstated. Commander," he replied as he threw whatever he had found across the gap. Shepard caught it in one hand, looking down to find her dogtags. Damn him.

"You better stay alive, sir," she replied, swallowing past the lump in her throat. Don't let this be the last time I see you alive. "I'll get the Council to help us, and I'll bring the whole galactic fleet!"

"I know you will," the admiral said with a nod, a sad smile pulling at his lip. A shuttle of soldiers began its descent not far behind him and he watched as they began setting up a perimeter. "Now go!"

Before she could refuse, the Normandy was airborne again, the cargo bay closing as they turned to make their retreat. As the rest left, Shepard remained, staring at the doors with her dogtags held tight in one fist.

"Where are we going?"

James. Not now. Shepard tried to ignore him, stomping toward the armor lockers with the intention of abandoning her weapons.

"Why are we leaving Earth?"

She forced her eyes shut for a moment before hastily opening the comm console, searching for any clues as to what should happen next.

"Hey!"

She huffed out a breath, but didn't turn to look at the young Lieutenant. "We're leaving."

"Bullshit, we can't just leave! What about Anderson? What about Earth?! You better drop me off, 'cause I'm not—"

"Enough!" Shepard turned then, glowering at him as she stalked across the small space. "Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight?!" It was her fight. The Reapers were her battle. And she wanted nothing more than to stay and give them what for, but that wouldn't help anyone. She hated admitting it, but Anderson was right: they needed help. "But there's nothing we can do on our own. Once we get the Council's help, we can help Earth."

James glared back down at her for a moment before stalking away without another word. He knew better than to think she didn't care—he knew exactly how much she did care—but he couldn't help it. He hated the idea of leaving his home while it was still under attack. It felt too much like running… Too much like failure…

Shepard watched him go, visibly deflating, and sighed. She was glad he had made it—she wasn't sure who was staffing her ship, and it was nice to know she could trust someone—but it didn't change the fact that he was right. She wanted to stay and fight, but she knew she couldn't. Didn't make it hurt any less.

"Hey Commander, long time no see."

She looked up at the intercom. "Joker, that you?" she asked, a smile pulling at her lip.

"Alive and kicking. Message coming in from Admiral Hackett, it's flagged as urgent."

There'd be time to catch up later. "Patch it through."

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