I should really be working on the next chapter to 'Love we Lost' but i've been so captivated by Karneval and it's beautiful artwork lately, I have a story planned out in my head and I just have to get it out!

Rated M for violence, blood, sexual content, language, etc. This is yaoi so please, no flames~

I tried to kill my pain
But only brought more
So much more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

"Yogi. Yogi. YOGI!" He could hear his name being screamed, a warm hand against his cheek, the contact making him shiver. His body felt torn, ripped and soaked in blood as his vision became hazy.

"Ah, it's so cold out today..." He muttered, reaching a trembling hand to brush silver strands of hair from his bloody cheeks. He turned his faded vision to the black haired boy beside him, whose face was streaked with tears as he kneeled on the ground beside him. "You... I still don't know who you are and yet... every time I see you I feel I have to protect you..."

The boy made a small gasping sound as he grabbed the silver haired Yogi's hand. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." he repeated over and over, frustration welling up in his shaking voice. Just as a hopeless feeling settled over them Yogi could hear voices nearing them as he gently closed his eyes, letting sleep overcome him quickly.

Yogi struggled to open his eyes, wincing at the bright light above him. His groggy feeling quickly faded away as he realized he was in a white, uncomfortable hospital room. His mind filled with horrifying thoughts of doctor Akari, and the normally cheerful man became anxious. He was calmed slightly by the feeling of a warm hand covering his own, and as he turned his head to look, much to his surprise, Gareki was sleeping rather soundly beside him. The boy sat in a small chair, his head leaned against the bed, has hand reached out to touch the second ship's fighter's.

"G-G-Gareki~" He half shouted, causing the boy to jump weakly as he awoke.

"Yogi..." He mumbled as he turned his head upwards.

"Did you watch over me while I was in the hospital? I never knew you cared, oh, i'm so happy, I just want to hug you!" Yogi sat up abruptly, ignoring a sharp pain in his side, disregarding the bandages wrapped around his wounds as he leaned in to grab the younger male.

Gareki made a snorting sound as he jumped to his feet to push Yogi away from him. "I don't want a hug. I only stopped by to make sure you were okay and to say... t-thanks I guess." He looked anxious even trying to open up and act thankful.

But the blonde merely blinked, making a frown at having his advances blocked, and tilting his head a little to one side. "Thanks? I don't recall doing anything, but it's adorable seeing you look so flustered!" He teased him like he always did.

Gareki growled under his breath in response, acting mildly irritated. "You saved my life. The other you anyway." He furrowed his eyebrows, turning towards the door to leave.

"Don't leave me." Yogi became distressed, furrowing his eyebrows, but his whining was ignored as he was left alone. His demeanor suddenly became very calm as he sighed and lay back down. Be brushed his fingers across the bandage on his cheek and could only be thankful that his other self didn't hurt anyone he cared about, especially Gareki.

Even though his body felt like it'd been torn to pieces he forced himself out of the bed, removing an intrusive IV from his hand before making his way to the small window to very quickly make his escape before Akari could catch him. He triumphantly made his way to his room to change into a pair of pants and his beloved Nyanperona shirt before jumping into his soft bed. A smile crossed his face as he snatched his phone from the table beside him and flipped it open.

'Thank you for watching over me, I hope I didn't worry you too much. I'm very, very happy you held my hand and thanked me. It was all so unexpected of you! I want you to know that i'll always protect you, even if I'm not my usual self, you're safe with me. I'd give my life, everything I have to you, just stay by my side, please... Will you allow me to always protect you?'

He stared at the text for a very long time before hesitantly sending it to Gareki. He always sent long, detailed and almost journal like texts to the boy. He tried to put a lot of thought into them, yet he never once received a reply. But he was sure this time he'd get an answer, he put so much energy and emotions into it. He narrowed his eyes at his phone, glaring at it as if it would give him the reply he was desperately waiting for, but it remained silent after that.

Gareki sat in his bed, his back leaned against the wall as he studied multiple sets of blueprints intently. His phone vibrated beside him, breaking his concentration. As he glanced at it he could see 'Yogi' displayed on the screen, he grunted, then went back to reading.

Hours later Yogi became increasingly bothered, constantly checking his phone and whining to himself. "I'm lonely." He softly muttered under his breath, a tinge of sadness in his words. He stood up, pocketing his cell phone and making his way to Tsukumo's room. He knew he could always talk to her very easily, she was his closest friend and knew him better than anyone else. He barged into her room without bothering to knock and was greeted by her voice.

"Good to see you alive." She spoke without looking at him as she sat at a small table, reading over what appeared to be a magazine.

"Thanks! Umm... I was actually going to ask, have you heard from Gareki-kun today? I was meaning to say something to him but I haven't heard anything yet..." He twirled his fingers together, his lips forming a small pout as he looked tentatively at the ground.

"He texted me a few minutes ago, he wanted me to go play with Nai so he could study. Actually I should be doing that now..." Her voice trailed off as she thought about the day ahead of her. She glanced up to see Yogi's lip quiver as she spoke and she knew what was coming next.

Yogi's voice became high pitched as he spoke, "When I think about the fact that he doesn't want to see me or talk to me I just... I just... I lo.." Tsukumo cut him off with a short sigh as he stood up to pat his shoulder.

"Stop that. He doesn't dislike you so just go visit him, he's probably just sitting in his room anyway." She gave a lighthearted smile and patted his blonde hair. "I would chat more but I'm off to get Nai!" With that she stepped around him to leave.

Yogi thought about her words for short while before making up his mind to go visit the boy that had been ignoring his texts. 'That's right, he doesn't dislike me, he doesn't dislike me and he's just busy!' He mentally encouraged himself. He took a sharp breath before opening the door to see Gareki sitting alone, reading intently.

"What do you want?" He asked abruptly, continuing to read.

"You never replied to my message so I came to visit you!" He said cheerfully, closing the door behind him.

Gareki glanced up from his book, narrowing his eyes, "I don't want visitors." He said calmly.

"S-so cruel!" Yogi made a noise that could only be described as a yelp. "Why is it that when i'm unconscious you touch me and stay with me but once I wake up you don't want anything to do with me?!" He pestered him.

"Because you bother me when you're awake." Gareki responded abruptly. Setting his book beside him haphazardly. He pinched a few strands of hair in his fingers, rubbing at it inadvertently.

Yogi felt his face burn red with frustration and defeat, but he made his way to the bed so he could sit beside the black haired boy facing him, causing him to scoot away a little and glare at him.

"I want to touch your face." Yogi said suddenly and impulsively, causing Gareki to give a small jump and widen his eyes.

"W-Why?" Gareki hesitated a little, wanting to immediately say no but his curiosity got the better of him.

"I want to memorize every bit of it, so one day even if i'm not myself I can hopefully remember... I know that doesn't make very much sense, but please..." Yogi's voice got gradually softer and slightly deeper as he spoke, not giving the boy a chance to respond he reached his hand up to brush it very lightly against the front of his silky black hair.

Gareki wanted to pull his head back but it was already resting against the wall so instead he pushed it harder into the wall, tilting his chin up ever so slightly. He still wanted to say no but he could see the purposeful look in the blonde man's face, which normally wasn't so serious. Instead he stayed quiet, his back stiffening like a frightened cat's.

Yogi gently brushed his fingers against Gareki's forehead, the front of his hair falling over his fingers as the moved his hand slowly across it. He was delighted how soft his hair felt and how warm the skin was against his hand. Ignoring the boy's uncomfortable posture his fingers fell to trace over his cheek bone, brushing against it with his thumb, causing Gareki to close his eyes. His fingers traced over his eyelashes and ran down the bridge of his nose. He then brushed the palm of his hand against his cheek.

As Gareki closed his eyes he felt his body relax slightly, as he began to zone out he tilted his head into the palm of Yogi's hand as it rubbed against his cheek. His blue eyes shot open as he heard the older man let out a very small laugh, his body stiffening back up.

"W-What's your problem?" Gareki growled at him, furrowing his eyebrows. He gasped when Yogi took the opportunity to brush his thumb against Gareki's bottom lip. Gareki instantly closed his mouth in response, afraid to say anything more, he felt heat rising from his stomach up into this throat as his face flushed a deep red color.

"Your lips are soft..." Yogi's voice was trembling slightly, causing blue eyes to meet with his own. In that moment Yogi leaned forward, pressing their lips together. He knew what he was doing the the boy was wrong, Gareki was so much younger than him, so innocent, and more than likely was in love with Nai, yet he couldn't stop himself from kissing him.

"A-Ah... nnn... sto..." Gareki began panting, trying to force his words out, but his body betrayed him, his eyes closing and his back arching just slightly into the kiss. Yogi took advantage of him trying to speak and slipped his tongue past his soft lips, sliding it against the roof of his mouth. He felt Gareki's inexperienced tongue pushing back against his own, his mouth nearly begging for more. Their kiss deepened and grew more passionate, their teeth clicking together, their breath turning into gasps and small moans.

Yogi wanted to do more, so much more, he wanted to violate every part of Gareki's innocent body. Despite this desire he pulled away, watching the boy gasp for air, his lips glistening from spit. His blue eyes slowly opened to meet with lust filled violate ones.

"I love you, Gareki." His words were full of emotions as he pulled the boy against his chest, hugging him tightly. Gareki tentatively hugged him back, but remained silent, breathing heavily still. "It's okay, you don't have to say it back, you don't have to say anything at all, I just feel so good that I could tell you this." He hugged him even tighter before pulling away.

He stood up to leave, looking over his shoulder as their eyes once again met before he left the room hurriedly.

Gareki slumped his back against the wall, pulling his legs up to his chest. "Fuck." Was all he could muster to say to himself as he was left alone with his thoughts.

Yogi ran back to his room, he felt tears stinging the corners of his eyes, and even though he felt incredibly sad he didn't feel guilty. He held back his tears, slamming his door behind him and leaning against it. He looked down at his hand he'd used to touch Gareki's face and smiled, a tear streaking down his cheek. Just as a hopeless feeling began to settle in he felt his phone vibrate just once, he slipped it out of his pocket. Gareki. A text from Gareki lit up his screen, as he opened it with a trembling hand it simply said,

'I accept it, you can always protect me.'

Yogi held his phone to his chest, a smile making it's way across his face. 'That was the first time, he finally, finally texted me back. I'm so happy.'

Yay, i'll put chapter 2 up if I get some reviews! =]

In the manga Gareki has black eyes while in the anime they're blue, so I went with the blue eyes because I find them stunning! I also did my best to read up on the wiki and catch up on the manga to write this... I also did a lot of touching my face to write that one scene hahah. I briefly mentioned Yogi's thoughts on their age difference, since he's 21 while Gareki is 15.

Welp! I hope I kept them in character and didn't get too angsty! I'd like the later chapters for this to get a little more serious so we'll just have to see what happens.

Lastly I must say don't expect Gareki and Yogi to fall madly in love after one kiss or anything silly like that, Gareki is clearly up in the air with his feelings but I can't see him falling on love or trusting anyone very easily, but he isn't always a complete jerk so he chose to send Yogi a text knowing it would comfort him a little. Also (spoilers ahead!) chapter 75 is when Yogi said he was lonely then later spoke to Tsukumo and tries to tell her he's in love with Gareki but she cuts him off, which is where I got the inspiration to write this chapter.