This is it... The last chapter after so many years. I hope you won't be disappointed. I am not planning on adding any other epilogue unless too many of you ask for it. Before you start that chapter, again, THANK YOU ALL so much for following me all this time and through it all. That story took me long to finish. Mostly the editing was hard, and part of me might not have wanted to end it. Now that it is done...I'm left feeling a bit strange. Any ways...Hope you enjoy this last chapter! Thanks a lot everyone!

Life resumed its pace, though taking care of twins was much, much more complicated than only one child. Still, Lori and Tori were growing up safely and without any specific issue. The two girls were quickly used to be taken care of by various people. Though I always did my best with Nori to be the one keeping both eyes on them, it was often a slight relief to have one of our kin and friend offering to babysit. Twins were extremely rare among the dwarves and everyone took it upon themselves to comment on how blessed we were. For my part, I had only been partially surprised as there had been a history of twins on my mother's side.

Even though having twins was basically twice as much work for us, everyone admitted that Tori and Lori were fairly easy to take care of. The two little babies were occupying each other and doing everything together at all times. There was something quite strange and yet adorable in their behaviour together. Having never had a sibling, much less a twin, I couldn't really understand, but as they grew, the toddlers started to babble at each other, obviously communicating in their own way with no one else able to follow. Ari didn't mind this at all, and it was clear to all that the twins adored their brother, who took his promise of protecting them quite seriously.

Soon enough, Ari's old makeshift playpen resurfaced from wherever it had been put, and my son divided his time between training with his uncles and playing with his sisters.

Nori was with us more often than not, though he was also sent on missions by Fili. Yet such trips were usually short, and after a short while, Fili, Nori and Kili decided that it could be interesting for them to train not only warriors, but also scouts that could double as spies if needed. Following that decision, Nori and Kili both took charge of training the new recruits. It wasn't easy for dwarves, who were really only trained as honourable warriors, to learn how to sneak. Nori often complained about them being too loud for their own good. Kili usually laughed at Nori's exasperation, sharing his time between training with my favourite thief and working alongside me and Sigrid in the wards.

After all the excitement and dangers of my first few years in this world I was both astounded and yet appreciative and grateful at how peaceful my life had become. Nothing major happened any more. Sure there were still gruesome injuries to treat and stubborn over protective dwarves to deal with, but nothing compared to the struggles I had known before. Although anyone could admit that being the mother of three cheerful kids could sometimes be an adventure in its own right.

As I grew older I could only enjoy retiring from all these dangerous expeditions.

Still, I wasn't about to refuse helping my friends when they needed me.

And so I found myself once more packing my healer's satchel while listening to Dori rant beside me.

"Are you sure it is wise to take the children with you?" Dori asked yet another time.

"Dori, they'll be with me, Nori, Dwalin, Kili, Bofur, Gimli and a dozen more dwarves." I said with a smile. "I'm sure they'll be fine." Putting the satchel aside I inspected my dual blades critically. I had kept training with them, if only for the fun of it, but I didn't expect having to use them any time soon, if at all. Still I took care of them.

"I understand taking Ari, although he is still a child, at fourteen he can follow you. But Lori and Tori are babes." He insisted.

I looked at the twins who were playing around on a large carpet in front of the hearth. They were talking in that weird mix of khuzdul and common that only they seemed to understand, especially since they had somehow picked up some old khuzdul from the few times Bifur had babysat with Bombur.

"I know Dori." I sighed. I did know they were much too young for such an expedition. But I felt that we had little choice. "I just can't leave them here."

"They wouldn't be alone." Dori offered with a smile, and I knew they wouldn't. With all our friends still staying here, the girls would have a lot of uncles and aunts to stay with. Still, it didn't sit well with me to leave them alone with anyone else. Frowning, I realized those feelings were odd and irrational, yet I just couldn't move past them.

"Still, I feel that I should take them with us." I insisted stubbornly.

"You feel that..." Dori shook his head. "Amelia, you're just unwilling to separate from them." He berated me kindly.

"Is that so bad?" I retorted, though somehow I wondered if it was just that.

"Not really." Dori sighed. "Well, I do hope you'll all be safe." Admitting defeat wasn't easy for Dori and I smiled at him softly.

"We will." I said with a certainty I didn't feel. Somehow I had this gnawing feeling that something life altering would happen during our expedition. Yet, something was pushing me to keep the girls with us. It was maddening. I was reminded suddenly of the feelings I had with Nori. The fact our love just was. No questions asked. There was nothing we could do to change it. Mahal had decided he was my One and I was his.

Was Mahal also behind those strange, foreboding feelings?

If that were the case, there was nothing I could do about it. Mahal was a Valar. I couldn't fight against his will. But if he dared put my daughters in peril, I would fight with all my might.

I hadn't truly set foot outside the Halls since we first moved here. Between being Bastûna, a mother of three and sitting on the council occasionally, I hadn't had the opportunity to go on any mission. I hadn't really had the will to either. Sigrid and Kili went to do rounds and treated people from nearby towns while I remained in the Halls and only ever did very short two to three days trip to the nearest harbour. Not going outside hadn't stopped me from training, though nowadays, and in the past years really, training hadn't really been focused on anything but light spars and workout sessions. I wasn't getting any younger, and I had no interest in going on any adventure any time soon. Adventures were great when one read about them, but living through one, and more specifically surviving one was daunting enough. I had more than enough of adventure already to last my whole lifespan.

The expedition I was going on was nothing of the sort. Apparently some elves had discovered ruins on the other side of the gulf. Because Fili couldn't leave the Halls at the moment, and I was apparently still one of the few beings around who could deal with both elves and dwarves at the same time, our king had asked me if I could go and meet those elves. Of course, what should have been a quick trip with a few dwarves turned into a complete armed expedition when Nori heard of it. And because Nori and I were going, then we thought the children could follow. That, and I had that strange feeling that somehow irrationally pushed me to have the kids tag along.

The words I had exchanged with Dori were just a repeat of an earlier conversation, a conversation we'd had several times already. I genuinely thought that nothing bad could truly happen. We would travel to the harbour, cross the gulf, meet the elves and then trek for a short bit in the forested hills at the foot of the mountains to reach those mysterious ruins.

Fili was also expecting me to write a detailed report about it all. Our king felt, wrongly or not, that because Kili and I had discovered Gabilgathol, we might just have an opinion about those ruins. It didn't necessarily make much sense, but no one minded much. The truth behind it all was that the dwarves would have to travel for several days with elves and, even though most dwarves were begrudgingly polite with them nowadays, it was still a potentially hazardous situation. So I ended up agreeing to go.

I would admit that having five years old tagging along was most likely a terrible idea.

A part of me was truly shocked by this decision. Another part, a massive one at that, honestly felt as if I had no choice in the matter. Absolutely no choice.

Was it a bad idea? Only time would tell.

The first part of our trip was as expected, quiet and pleasant. Ari was over excited at being allowed outside finally and was undecided about whether to follow Nori, Kili or Dwalin. He settled for running from one to the other all the way. Tori and Lori were each sitting in a large basket on each side of a pony, looking around with wide eyes, muttering together and overall happy to observe the world around them. Bofur and I were walking by the pony and the girls were happy to share anything new they saw with the dwarf who, like many others I had to admit, dotted on them.

The boat was another adventure all together for Ari who had to be saved from falling over board several time by a growingly exasperated Nori. It was only the threat of having him ride the same pony as his sisters that finally had our son sit for more than a second.

I couldn't help but chuckle, even though I was worried for Ari I still trusted his father to save him every time. Lori and Tori were much quieter, silently looking into the water from a safe distance.

Meeting the elves was another story altogether, but compared to what it could have been, the little tension that sparked between our two groups was rather subdued. And so on we went, starting our short journey into the forest. From what the elves said, and considering the rather leisurely pace we took, it would take us two to three days to reach the ruins. Ari couldn't have been happier, scouting ahead with Nori during the day and going hunting with Kili in the evenings when we stopped.

This journey was absolutely nothing like my previous experiences travelling this world; even the weather was mild and enjoyable. While I enjoyed it, a growing voice nagged in the back of my mind that such a peaceful journey just couldn't continue. I had never been that lucky before.

On our second day, around midday, we reached the shore of a rather tumultuous river. The elves explained that from that point on, we were about one day away from the ruins they had spotted. We only had to follow the river upstream.

After doing so for a while, we set up camp for the evening.

The nagging feeling in the recess of my mind was becoming growingly dreadful, though I tried to rationalize. So far, my experience with any sort of expedition had been rather unfortunate, and so I couldn't help but be nervous, even though there was absolutely no reason to be. Trying to calm my stupidly weak nerves, I put Tori and Lori down from their pony and Ari was instantly near his sisters, grinning at me as he wordlessly decided to watch over them.

The sun was slowly sinking in the sky while we all busied ourselves with preparing for the evening and night. The elves had chosen to camp a little bit further, up in the dense canopy, while we chose a more conventional campsite, not too far from the river's shore. The kids were 'exploring' the camp, Ari asking questions, curious about what each of us was doing, and the twins were happily trailing behind him.

"Don't get too close to the water." Nori warned our kids who were starting to play; throwing branches in the water and watching them rush by as the river took them away.

Ari nodded and instantly made sure his two sisters stepped back a little, while they kept on playing. Unpacking some of the dried food we had in our bags, I started to prepare our meal, hoping Kili would once again showcase his skills and bring some fresh meat for dinner. Bofur was helping out, whistling lightly. There was no need to talk for us to know what to do. It was both surprising and nice to realize that, even though I hadn't been on the road for such a long time, habits I had taken while on my different adventures were coming back to me naturally.

The familiar tasks reminded me of older times when I didn't have three kids, when Nori and I weren't married yet, when Thorin and Oin hadn't been dead yet. Those thoughts were bittersweet. I had made my peace with their deaths long ago now, but when their memories came to me there still remained a slight twinge, a wish to know what they would have said or done, had they been with us.

It was a sharp cry that tore me out of those thoughts and I looked up, unaware that most of the dwarves had done the same, to look at the kids.

"Ma!" Ari called, holding one of his sister's hands into his own. "She hurt herself with the branch."

I shook my head while Bofur snorted, a certain softness shone in his eyes as he looked at the kids.

"Must be a shard." He looked at me with a reassuring smile.

"Must be." I agreed and wiped my hands before standing up. "Well, I'll leave you to finish dinner then." Smiling at him I went to see what had hurt my daughter.

It was only when I was close to them that I could recognize it was Tori who had been injured. The twins looked terribly alike, though there were small differences between the two. Their extremely close relationship didn't help when one wanted to differentiate them.

"Let me see." I told her softly, looking at the offending shard that protruded from her finger.

I was about to let that hand go to search my satchel when Lori caught my attention too.

"Ma! Look!" I heard her call out and I looked up from where I stood with Ari and Tori to see my second daughter trudging in the water, her little hand extended towards something that had caught her attention.

"Lori! Don't!" I screamed, terror gripping my heart, jumping to my feet while I heard several male voice call out to me and Lori. Nothing registered though as I sprinted towards the little girl who turned her head around shakily, obviously fighting against the much stronger stream. It was obvious she wouldn't be able to resist it for long.

"Don't move!" I called out as I extended my arms towards her. I was only a couple meters away when she decided to move and turn completely towards me. I knew in that moment she wouldn't have the strength to withstand the stream while doing so.

"Amelia!" "Lori!" Several voices shouted from behind me but I paid them no mind, my entire being focused on my girl.

With horror I could only watch as she was suddenly snuffed away by the stream, taken away from me, and disappeared under the cold waters.

"Lori!" Several voices, including mine, shouted and I didn't hesitate for a second, jumping into the frigid waters completely, letting them take me away, hopefully towards my daughter.

Almost immediately I felt my body being rushed away, pushed by the violent stream, and I suddenly struggled to reach the surface. My clothes were too heavy now and each move was a fight against them and the river. Darkness was encompassing me and it was a pure reflex that allowed me to gasp when I felt my head breach the water for a second. Almost instantly, I was pushed back under though.

I was completely disorientated, images of Lori rushing in my mind while I fought to breathe, to swim, to find her. If I was barely able to survive, how could she?

The mad rush seemed to last for hours, though it probably wasn't even close to that in truth. After a while I felt the speed of the current slow down enough that I wasn't fighting it so much. Finally I was able to reach the surface more and more often, allowing me to gulp in large amount of precious oxygen while my eyes were frantically looking for anything that could be Lori.

I was exhausted already when the riverbed widened rather suddenly and I could feel the plants that grew at its bottom gripping my limbs. A short while later, as I could finally stand in the river, I trudged towards the shore exhausted and feeble. The stream wasn't so strong anymore, though its invisible hands were still grabbing at my clothes and limbs, trying to pull me back. My eyes were roaming around, trying desperately to find a sign of her. I had jumped in the water without thinking and now I found myself with no idea what to do besides shouting for her.

"Lori!" I screamed in despair. Pain was tearing me in two. I felt as if someone had plunged a white hot knife in my gut and was slowly twisting it. "Lori!" I kept screaming, ignoring the tears on my face and the pain in my throat. My baby. Where was my baby? "Lori!" I fell to my knees, tears streaming down my face as my voice broke.

At this moment I felt something else snap inside me.

My baby.

Where was she?

Where was my baby?

Why?

Mahal why?

I let out a wordless scream. Dying would be less painful. I screamed and screamed, calling out for her until my voice broke and at some point I blacked out. The world seemed to tilt before my vision darkened completely.

The next time my eyes opened, it was to the feelings of hands cradling my face. Immediately after I realized that, I heard a frantic voice I knew all too well.

"Sanmizim, open your eyes please. Amelia, I beg you. Mizimul, come back to me. Please I need you to come back to me."

I felt so cold, so weak. There was a dull pain in my chest that reminded me almost instantly of the events. I whimpered and tried to open my eyes. Even this simple action seemed to take too much energy.

"Lori..." I managed to mutter in a cry and I felt Nori's arms cradle me tightly.

"Stay awake Sanmizim."

"Lo..." I tried to say but the cold made me completely numb and I could barely move my lips.

I heard new voices but they sounded very far away. Even though I could hear them, it seemed impossible for me to focus and fully register their words.

"She's burning up." "She's been laying in the cold too long." "Build a fire!"

Their words didn't make sense. I wasn't burning up. I was freezing. My body shivered a bit but the cold soon seemed to settle deeply within my bones. Even though I was awake, I was completely out of it and incapable of moving or making sense of what was going on around me. The only thing I knew was that pain in my chest and the terrible feeling of loss that went with it.

It wasn't long until I lost consciousness again.

I awoke slowly and painfully, as if I was trying to extract myself from a pit of mud. My consciousness was clouded, yet I could feel and understand that I was lying on something softer than before. My brain slowly registered several details and information and instantly fed it to my mind. There was a strange smell of burning plants that tickled at my nose. My body ached and I shivered a bit, even though I wasn't cold. My throat was parched and raw. More than anything else I felt that my thoughts were sluggish, clouded by exhaustion and maybe some strange mixture as there was a bitter aftertaste in my mouth I couldn't explain.

Then I blinked my eyes open, letting out a moan at the light of the fire I looked into. Turning my head away from it seemed to take an awful lot of energy. There had obviously been someone close enough to hear me as I quickly felt some cool hand against my brow.

"Amelia?" Recognizing Bofur's voice I tried to force my eyes open once more.

The world felt as if it was moving, swaying gently, and it made me sick. Moaning one more time it wasn't long before I fell unconscious again.

I breathed in deeply, feeling sore and tired. My eyes were closed but my brain was functioning correctly enough to tell me I was lying on a bed, most probably my own bed. I blinked, shifted and finally my eyes focused on the unmistakable back of my husband. Nori was sitting at the foot of the bed, hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees while his face was hidden in his hands.

It was a strange sight.

Nori looked defeated.

I had never seen him like this.

Something was whispering at the edge of my consciousness that I was currently forgetting important information. It was the same strange feeling one might have when knowing they'd spent the night dreaming, but forgetting it all once awake. I cleared my throat and I saw Nori tense.

"Nori?" I called out, slightly worried by his uncharacteristic behaviour. As he didn't move, I tried to talk. "I feel like I've had a terrible nightmare." I told him, struggling to sit up. It made me frown. I felt as if I had been asleep for days. My body was stiff and sore, pain echoing in my back and neck, as if I had been lying too long, and my chest was hurting too. Fear was pooling in my stomach but at that exact moment I had no clue as to why I would feel this way. It was terribly unsettling.

"Nori?" My voice was betraying me as I spoke almost in a whimper.

Finally he looked at me and the haunted glint in his eyes scared me deeply.

"I'm sorry Mizimul." His voice was hoarse, his pain obvious, and for the life of me I couldn't understand what was going on. Then suddenly he was there, holding me, clinging to me in a show of weakness I had never witnessed from him before.

The nagging feeling I had, started to echo louder in my mind.

"Nori?" I felt a shiver course down my spine. "Where are..." My eyes widened suddenly. The images of my nightmare replaying in my mind with clarity that frightened me. I could see Lori in a river. My little Lori with her beautiful long hair that I had styled into three braids that looped and where attached at the back of her head. My beautiful little girl with freckles on her nose and mischievous grey eyes just like her father's. My sweet, sweet child who was torn away from my grasp by dark waters. I started to tremble in Nori's arms. "Nori? Nori, it was a nightmare right?" I blurted out, frozen in a fear I had never before experienced. "It was all a nightmare?" His silence scared me even more as I felt his hold yet again tighten around my shaking limbs. "Lori? Where's Lori?"

"I'm sorry Mizimul." He repeated again. I didn't look at him, but the dampness I felt against my skin betrayed his tears, just like the slight shaking of his whole frame told me of his emotional state.

Nori was in pain.

Nori was crying.

It was real.

It had all been real.

I let out a wordless cry as I clung onto him. An almost inhuman wail escaped me as memories assaulted me and I understood I would never again hold my dear, dear baby girl against my chest.

We cried, clinging to each other, a pain the likes of which I had never felt before leaving me hollow as it echoed in my chest.

I had known loss already, but nothing compared to what I felt right then. Horror, despair and guilt mixed together in a destructive whirlpool of emotions. Images of that fateful instant kept playing in my head, forcing me to relive through each terrifying minute. She had been so close. I could almost touch her. Why hadn't I been faster? Why had I decided to take them with me? Why hadn't I listened to Dori? Why had I been so slow in reaching her? Why? Why ? Mahal why?

There were no real words that could describe the powerlessness I felt, nor the feeling that somehow my life would never be the same.

"How long?" I managed to croak out.

His arms clutched me and he didn't reply at first.

I wasn't stupid.

My feelings when I awoke were telling enough. It had been days. Long days had passed. Maybe even a week, I thought as I noticed we were back in our home.

"Why are we here?" I croaked.

"Your fever was so high. Nothing we did worked." Nori's voice was heavy with emotions. "Some of the elves brought us back for you to receive proper treatment."

"Lori?"

"Kili, Bofur and the other elves are scouring the forest to find her."

It was easy to hear the weak hope in his voice. I could also tell that he was torn between being alongside me and searching for our lost child himself. At the thought of her being alone out there, a loud sob escaped me and I started to wail in Nori's arms. It was only some long minutes later that I was exhausted enough to stop. After negotiating awhile, Nori managed to convince me to stand up and eat something.

It was strange. I felt as if I was walking in a dark cloud that hid everything around from me. A part of me knew that Dori and Fili came in at some point, but I just couldn't find any strength in me to react to them. At some point, I did hear them talking about Ari and Tori who were apparently with Danà and Dis.

Several days passed in the same way. Nori was basically babysitting me, when he wasn't lost in his own thoughts, far away from me even though our hands were almost constantly locked to one another.

I only awoke from this terrible state when Kili came back. That day, Balin and Dori were with him. When I saw him enter our home, my hopes skyrocketed before crushing down. He was alone. Lori wasn't with him.

At this point, I felt numb. Feebly, I walked to the counter, turning my back to my friends while Kili explained they had found no signs of her. I wanted to scream at him that he hadn't done enough. That he had obviously not looked properly. I wanted to curse him. I wanted to cry. To tell him I knew he had done everything he could. I knew he meant to help. I knew he loved our daughter as kin. Not enough, a venomous voice kept shouting in my head.

"I'll go." Nori's pained voice stopped me from my internal struggles. "I'll go. I'll find her." I turned around only to be met with the despair I felt reflected in his eyes. My whole body was now shaking and I could only sniff, my gaze locked with his.

"No." Dori snapped and immediately everyone looked at him. "I'm not letting you fall into that pit." He spat, the anger in his tone unable to mask his fear from us. "I saw it all happen before, don't you remember?" He added on a much lower tone. "I won't witness either of you waste away, forgetting about your home, your children, and your living kin!" He continued forcefully. "I won't let you abandon the living!"

"Dori, you don't understand." I tried to say, only to be met with his stony glare.

"No Amelia, you don't understand." He retorted. "I watched my own mother die a little every day while her eyes were constantly turned outside. She didn't care for either of us. She only wanted to perish, looking for our father." He shook his head, looking down for a moment, torment evident on his face. "I won't allow the same thing to happen twice in our family."

"She's our daughter." Nori whispered.

"And you have another daughter and a son who both need you now more than ever." Dori replied. "Or have you forgotten how bitter it felt when Ma left us to care for ourselves while she was on the road?"

"Amelia would be there. It's not the same." Nori insisted, though I could see him falter with each word uttered by Dori. It would be a lie to say I wasn't affected as well.

"And when you don't come back, she'll be running out after you."

I saw Nori's shoulders sag in defeat and I knew Dori's words had reached through his pain.

"You're telling us to give up on her." I whispered, tears once more running freely on my cheeks.

"No, I'm telling you that you still have much, much more to live for."

"We can't abandon our daughter to die outside, helpless." I shrieked with renewed vigour.

"She might be dead already." Kili softly commented, wincing as my eyes locked onto his pale face. A part of me knew that Kili had spent a week searching for Lori and had come back empty handed.

"She might yet be alive! She's not just human!" I exclaimed, grasping at any small fact that might mean our daughter had survived her ordeal. "Dwarves are known to be resilient. And she's not stupid."

"But she is just a child." Kili's soft tone was completely out of character, though he was a kind dwarf, his face wasn't meant to showcase such pity and pain. It brutally reminded me of how he had been right after the battle of Erebor.

"Alive or not, Mahal is guiding her on another path now." Balin finally decided to join in and I turned to glare at him.

"Mahal?" The venom in my voice would have made me wince hadn't I been so mad at that moment. My brain was clouded with rage, pain and the now ever present guilt. Nothing could make me think rationally. "Mahal took her from me!"

"And if he did, then there's nothing you can do about it." Balin commented in a kind tone that did nothing to calm my hysterical state.

"Amelia." Dori caught my attention before I could start another spat. "Lori is probably dead already."

"No." I breathed out, denying it wouldn't change anything, but it might give me some hope.

"She might be." Dori insisted before continuing. "And if she isn't, then you have to trust that Mahal separated her from us for a reason." Somehow this sounded like something he would say only to appease my crazed mind. Truthfully, a tiny voice in the corner of my head whispered treacherous words about Lori's likely death. Yet the loudest part in me just couldn't accept it. While I fumed, Dori continued. "You can't live in the thought she's waiting for you. If you do, then you may as well say your farewell to every one of us, Tori and Ari included, because you will never come back. Don't give up on them. Don't abandon them, us."

Heavy, sorrowful silence fell in the room. Glancing towards Nori, I saw the defeat in his countenance. He stood, hunched over, his face half hidden from me but grief still evident on his features. With a start I realized that his brother's words had impacted him strongly. He was probably remembering bitter memories right now. For my part I remembered how lost I had been as a child when my parents died. I remembered the fear and uncertainty I had felt, ever wondering whether they had abandoned me or not. Had it been an accident? Had they left me behind? Had they thought of me in their final moments? Dori's words turned into icy arrows that pierced my heart as I begrudgingly admitted the truth in them.

If I asked him, begged him, Nori would search the whole world until his death. He would look under every stone, searching every nook and cranny. While he would be outside, my mind and heart would be with him. I might even follow him. If he were to be absent too long, I would go out. Suddenly I could see it all happen, history repeating itself in a terrible way. Nori and I would have our eyes turned outside, forgetting about our family, our kin, our friends. Forgetting about everything but our mission and dedication to our missing child. Neither of us would give up. We would most likely live a bitter life until it all would stop in a likely bitter way.

Suddenly Nori's bitter, defeated countenance was mirrored by my own.

Should I accept this?

Should I give up?

Could I ever?

Looking anywhere but at the dwarves around me, my eyes found a small piece of wood that vaguely looked like a flower. Ari had carved that. Nori had just started to show him and his first creation had been a present for me.

Tears welled up yet again in my eyes and I didn't even try to stop myself from letting out a loud sob as I fell to my knees. Immediately Nori was there, his arms around me, trying to hold me together when I couldn't do it alone anymore.

"Get out." Nori hoarsely muttered. "Please." He added as an afterthought.

The others all left, leaving us alone to our grief.

Never before had I cried as much as I did in these past days. Somehow it was amazing to realize that tears would still come to my eyes. Still, I felt exhausted, spent, my head was in a dark, fuzzy cloud and I couldn't think properly. I felt Nori lift me back to my feet and guide me towards our bedroom. I didn't want to sleep. Somehow I knew that if I slept now, then I would have given up on Lori when I next awoke.

"Nori." I sniffed, clinging to him. "I'm so sorry." I kept repeating these words as a sorrowful litany, knowing full well that nothing would make me forgive myself. I had been too late, too slow, too weak.

Nori kept me in his arms, whispering in my hair, soothing me into sleep. I knew he had already accepted the truth in our kin's words. I knew he now agreed with his brother. I couldn't fault him for that, but I wouldn't forgive myself any time soon if I did the same. I could never accept my daughter's death, could I?

Little by little, exhaustion won over stubbornness and I fell asleep.

The next time I awoke, I laid in bed, unmoving and eyes fixatedly staring at the ceiling.

Nori wouldn't go out looking for Lori, nor would I. Our daughter was lost to us. Whether she was dead or alive wouldn't change that fact.

I couldn't accept her death, but knowing we had given up on her left me bereft and hollow.

Time passed and I remained lying there, unmoving, breathing was a task I struggled with already so I wouldn't even try to sit. I could hear voices somewhere in our home, but everything seemed to be far away. It was although my consciousness was shielded away from the real world, prostrate in the depth of my mind.

I was awake, but I wasn't.

I wasn't an empty shell, I was locked inside that stupid shell, far removed from my family, my kin and the world around.

At some point, someone came in but I didn't really see or recognize who it was. It must have been distressing for them, seeing me like this on the bed, but at that very moment control over my body eluded me. My whole being was imprisoned by my grief. Inside I wept, shrieked, screamed, fought and relived through those fateful minutes over and over again. But while my mind was in shambles, my body was still and somewhat peaceful.

There was no way for me to know how much time passed like this, but it must have been several days before Nori's begging voice awoke me next.

"Sanmizim, please, please." His voice sounded broken and his hands on my arm were shaking. It took me several long minutes, listening to him, to realize he was begging me to move. He looked, and sounded a broken man.

That realization made me scream inside my head even more while the pieces of my heart broke a little further. Nori wasn't meant to be like this. I was hurting him. That realization brought forth more pain and had I been able to, I would have cried out loud. How could anyone feel so much pain and still be able to feel yet more?

Starting that day I woke up every day in the morning. Stood up. Cooked. Ate. Then sat next to the hearth and watched the flame dance until it was time to cook, eat and sit all over again. I could see and hear my loved ones around me. Ari and Tori would sometimes try to talk with me. I would then take them in my arms, hold them closely. I was incapable of voicing any word I wanted to tell them though. My mind had become a terrible prison out of which I couldn't seem to escape. It was painful, yet I was numb.

I had no idea how long this strange state lasted.

One day though, I heard Tori cry and wail. Her cries were so loud, so heartfelt, that even in this state I couldn't ignore it. My heart broke when I managed to walk quietly to her room. There, in the darkness of the evening, Ari and Nori were holding onto Tori who cried her heart out. None of them saw me, hidden in the shadows like a ghost. Tori was calling for me and I couldn't reply.

Her cries tore my soul.

It was too much.

My feet moved without any directions from my brain. I walked the quiet halls without anyone noticing me. I had no idea where I was going.

Several long minutes later, I was standing at one of the highest point of Gabilgathol. Behind me I knew that the small, hidden entrance was guarded by two dwarves, but I didn't care much about the company. My eyes looked fixedly ahead. Facing me was a breathtaking view of the Blue Mountains which abruptly let their place to the greens of high pine trees. The sky was slowly darkening in the East while the West was ablaze. The beauty was lost on me at the moment though. Even though I was staring ahead, I wasn't truly seeing anything, my whole being focused inwards.

A part of me was still screeching and bellowing at the pain, the unfairness, the utter disaster that had befallen my family. But now a growing part was also slowly piecing back my soul. I couldn't remain as I had been in the past months. My friends were at a loss, I hadn't seen my own daughter in days, weeks maybe. A quick glance in a mirror this morning had revealed a pitiful creature more ghost than human.

I knew that I would never be able to forgive myself or forget anything. But I wasn't the only one suffering. My selfishness had to stop. Nori had lost a daughter too. Ari and Tori had lost their sister. And then I could also objectively admit that Lori's … disappearance had affected the rest of our kin and friends. I wasn't alone in my pain and despair, though I was arguably the one that had carried her for all these months. She had been my baby. But she hadn't belonged to me. The bitterness of all those years she wouldn't have tore at my heart, ripping me in half. The pain would probably never leave me. But I couldn't allow myself to selfishly wither away. Even though a part of me wanted to give up, I just couldn't do that to my family and kin. I couldn't do that to Nori.

My daughter, my Lori hadn't disappeared. She was...dead. The simple acceptance of this word sent another jolt of despair through my heart. I wanted to whimper at the pain and barely managed to swallow back the sound. Taking in a deep breath I forced myself to let that word sink in. Lori was dead. She was dead.

She would never truly leave me but she would never live with us again.

I had to survive and live, to keep her memory in my heart until my last breath. I had to let go and bring myself back together. For my kin, for my children, for Nori. And ultimately, for Lori too.

She would be remembered, and I would keep loving her.

Until the end.

I had been lost in my grief for too long. It was time for this to end, and for me to say goodbye.

And so time passed...without me paying too much attention to it.

It was rather early when I woke up that morning. Nori was still sleeping as I sneaked out of our room. Well, at least it was as close as sneaking out as an eighty-two year old with arthritis could get. The pain didn't bother me so much anymore. I had grown used to it with time. This morning, it didn't hurt quite so much anyway. I felt well rested and decided to go for a walk. Putting on a cloak, sometimes the corridors could be really chilly in the morning; I grabbed my walking stick and took off. I knew Nori wouldn't appreciate me going out like this. Internally I rolled my eyes. As I aged he had once more become overly protective.

I snorted.

Dori was even worse.

It was as though a whole life spent taking care of all the dwarves around here was suddenly erased the day I said I was tired after a walk across the Halls.

Since that day, the brothers had been watching me with hawk eyes, and Nori had turned overly protective. I wouldn't lie. I liked it, in a way. But still I worried sometimes about how they would react to my death. I wasn't stupid. I knew I would die soon. Maybe in a day, maybe in a month, maybe I still had some years. But I was going to die before them all. Nori's hair still had colour and were just starting to turn grey on his temples. Mine had been snow white for decades now. I didn't mind. I liked it. But I worried over my family.

As I walked I passed the tall statue that marked the entrance to our corridor and I arrived on a large balcony. I took some time to admire the view. Decades spent here and still I loved to watch it.

The balcony was engraved and sculpted to have a stone barrister. It overlooked the Main Hall. On the left side was the Fall. Cold blue water fell year long from an opening in the stone and crashed around twenty meters lower, forming a sky blue pond that then alimented the small river that ran through the Halls towards the Great Doors. Bridges of stone allowed passage from one side to the other. One of the features I loved most was the large rock that was stuck in the mountain wall, separating the fall in two at about midway. This rock was just over the entrance to the throne room that anyone could access thanks to two bridges that allowed passage over the pond. Way higher openings in the mountain walls and a smart use of mirrors located against pillar provided light inside throughout the day. The wet blue stone would then shine as if made of sapphire. At nighttimes, the blue luminescent flowers would look like small sapphires. Fili had decided to keep them here also, actually choosing to have them maintained so that they would light the whole riverbank at night. During the day, their glow wasn't seen, but it didn't take away from the beauty of the Halls. Beautiful didn't even start to describe our home.

It was magnificent.

Breathtaking even.

To the right, a grand Arch led directly to the market place which was probably already getting busy. Our merchants were located in the first tier, near the Main Hall and the Arch. Some of them also occupied the third tier, next to the Great Doors. These ones were the jewellers and blacksmiths mostly while the first tier concerned principally daily necessities. The second parts welcomed merchants from other communities, such as our friendly hobbits and even, from time to time, some elves. Most often though, humans were occupying the space.

The Blue Mountains were now quite known for its important trading places. Ours was the only dwarven Kingdom that opened its door readily to foreigners after all. Besides that, the nearest town was located on the Gulf and the trade routes between our Halls and their harbour were safe. With our new locations had come the ability to trade with faraway cities, especially the men's cities in the south who greatly enjoyed our finest crafts.

Fili had done well.

Opening trade routes that reached other kingdoms had been only the beginning. His diplomatic skills had been honed with age and our kingdom was in rather good terms with many others, the Iron Hills and Erebor dwarves being a significant exception though. In his willingness to be diplomatic and open to other cultures, Fili had even made sure that some quarters and halls were specifically prepared to welcome any visitors we might have. The elvish quarters were high in the halls, and they all had openings in the mountain wall to allow sun and starlight to enter as well as fresh air. Even Legolas had once reluctantly admitted to me that it was appreciated by his companions. My old elvish friend had only travelled here once though. He obviously still doubted the dwarves, but apparently he had come to be intrigued by Fili and the dwarves within our halls.

The men's quarters were located closer to the market. They were often used and we had had to expand it several times as merchants from as far as Gondor actually started to come here. Of course, it was an extremely rare occurrence that they travelled so far, especially seeing that our own merchants went down there twice a year.

Our hobbits quarters had been approved by Bilbo himself, who visited us every now and then. Or at least he used to, before he took custody of a young orphaned nephew. Since then, I hadn't seen him. It had been a while.

What had started with an accident had turned into an expedition long ago. And now, Fili's gamble had turned the Longbeard's stead into a prospering city that was known in many different kingdoms. Of course it hadn't been easy. Tensions with Erebor's dwarves were at an all time high, a war with them was improbable, but Nori's network of informant told us that incident may happen.

The Longbeard's clan had also expanded. Many solitary dwarves had come back to the Blue Mountains. Oddly enough, our wealth didn't truly come directly from the mountain or its mines. It came from our trade. Opening the halls had allowed Fili to expand trade to far away cities, but our success in these ventures had come from many reasons. Our craftsmen had used ingenuity to create new items, differentiating themselves from our cousins of Erebor and the Iron Hills. The dwarves of the Blue Mountain now were the finest glass makers that could be found. Even though we still worked on metals and gems, glass had become another specialty that Fili was actually quite proud of. All the families living within his Halls used glassware daily nowadays.

It had been truly magical to witness it all.

Having rested long enough while admiring the view, I took off again. I descended the long flight of stairs that took me two levels lower and turned to my right, facing away from the Main Halls I decided to go to my second home within the Halls. I stopped a few times to rest a bit before I finally arrived in front of the high wooden door I knew so well. I loved how the dark wood had been carved to represent leaves and flowers of all kind. It was almost a cheerful joke for the dwarves. They often said how elvish it looked, and I always replied that it was a good reason then for them not to get injured and not to suffer its sight.

Entering the Wards, I felt at home. The first room was spacious and lit by another set of mirrors as well as torches that were always lit. Several beds covered by white sheets were on the right wall of that room, but I didn't stop there and entered the main room. More beds were on the right, cupboards, tables and sets of drawers were on the left. I kept walking until I passed the next door. Here I arrived in the room where we prepared everything. Pots, pans and other utensils needed for the preparations of ointments where all neatly arranged on tables. On the far wall there was a wide hearth with a chimney. On the left wall there was yet another door that led to our large storage room, while on the right wall, there was the door for our drying room. In this last room we collected all the flowers and plants needed before letting them dry.

I looked around, taking in the sight of this place where I spent most of my days until recently.

Nowadays I wasn't coming here as often as I wished. It was partly because of Nori, who insisted I rested, and partly because I knew I was tired and needed the rest.

I hadn't been here in a long while actually. I realized it only now. I missed it.

"I didn't expect to meet you here."

I startled and turned to face this voice. My eyes opened wide and I smiled as I recognized the face that hadn't changed in decades.

"Saelon!" I stepped closer to him. "What are you doing here?"

He hadn't changed at all. He was still tall and had this grace common to the elves. He bowed his head and I replied in kind.

"I was sent by my Lord Thranduil to supervise the creation of those new tools you and your apprentices designed."

I snorted at that.

"I haven't had apprentices in a while." I said with a smirk. "Come along, let's sit. I'm not as young as I once was."

He didn't reply at that, though something I couldn't quite describe passed over his features. Whatever his thoughts had been, he masked them well and quickly.

He followed me quietly to the small area were a comfortable chair was still placed. It had been mine for a while and I was pleased to see my former apprentices hadn't moved it away. Though it may be worrisome to see that they still kept everything that was mine in place.

"Those tools were designed by Sigrid, Kili and Tori. They've done well."

"To think that the young injured prince became a healer and is yet recognized as a prime shooter." Saelon said with a small smile. Of course he would remember the days after the battle of Erebor.

"Kili's aim is still true." I nodded.

"I saw him yesterday evening." Saelon commented and I smiled at the thought of their continued, and yet very odd, friendship. "He showed me the last modifications he made to that weapon of his."

"He's incredibly proud of it."

"Rightly so." Saelon nodded. "I sometimes wonder how different our world would have been without you."

I snorted yet again.

"Bah." I shrugged. "Don't be silly. I'm just an old, very old human lady who got lost here when she was young."

As I said those words, he looked straight into my eyes. The word he spoke next made me shiver.

"Lost you were, but Mahal knows you've found the place you belonged to when you came to this world."

I couldn't hold his gaze and turned my eyes away, frowning.

"Well." I cleared my throat. "How is dear old Thranduil?" Saelon quirked an eyebrow at that, and we both knew I was still afraid of his lord even though I spoke his name lightly.

"He's still the same. The dwarves of Erebor have tried several times to sever our trade with the Longbeards and Thranduil is, oddly enough, amused at their repeated efforts."

"Why am I not surprised?" I muttered.

"Prince Legolas is less amused of course. His disdain for anything dwarvish grow at every new attempt from Erebor."

"Is that so?" I smiled at the memory of this old friend I would probably never see again. "Well, please tell him he shouldn't judge everyone through the acts of the few."

Saelon nodded.

"What of Bain?" I suddenly asked, wondering about Sigrid's brother.

"He suffered from a severe cold last winter. His son is now King of Dale."

"Sigrid didn't tell me anything." I frowned, wondering why my previous apprentice hadn't shared this information with me.

"She probably didn't want to burden you with knowledge of something you couldn't change." Saelon waved off but I kept frowning.

I grumbled under my breath for a short while and Saelon kindly allowed me to mutter to my heart's content without adding a word. When I finally stopped, he simply tilted his head to the side, silently asking me if I was finished.

"Well, tell me, did you stop by Bilbo's domain on your way here?"

"I had to. Thranduil wanted me to exchange new trade agreements with the hobbits and Bilbo kindly welcomed our contingent."

I chuckled.

"I'm sure the house was very comfortable." Thinking of the tall elves bent in two in Bilbo's hobbit hole made me laugh for a few minutes.

"He was very welcoming." Saelon chose to ignore my chuckles.

"Of that I have no doubts." I nodded. "Please, tell me of your journey here."

Kindly he did so. After a while I closed my eyes, still listening to the soft tones of his voice.

"Mom?"

I woke up startled to find my daughter looking at me with worried eyes. She looked to be in her mid-twenties, her and her brother had been blessed with at least a small part of the dwarvish health. Tori was usually a quiet yet cheerful woman, but recently, just like her father and brother, she tended to look at me with worry.

I wasn't surprised to see her in the Healing Wards, I had trained her myself after all, though Kili and Sigrid had helped. I smiled softly, thinking of my two friends. It had been most amusing to see them hesitate and turn around one another before they finally decided to court and wed. It had been a great and joyous event too. Their daughter was only interested in being a scout, like her father, who constantly despaired of it. I knew Ari wasn't bothered by it at all if the long forlorn looks he sent her way were anything to go by.

"Mom?"

"She just fell asleep my lady." Saelon commented from where he stood further away, reading a book peacefully.

"And I hope you weren't offended by my lack of attention." I croaked before clearing my throat.

"Not at all." Saelon closed his book and smiled at me kindly. "Shall we stay here to discuss some more?"

"We could."

"You should." Tori said with a frown. "You've been tired recently. You need to rest."

"I feel like I'm listening to your father or uncle…" I groaned.

"Well, you might want to listen to us all." She was standing in front of me, hands on her hips, frowning.

I looked her up and down, noticing how she was wearing the sort of dress I used to wear when I was much younger. I knew that my daughter took after me. Even the way she styled her hair in many braids that looped to tie together at the back of her head, it reminded me of how I used to wear my hair too. My eyes caught the glint of her healer beads and I felt, just like every time, pride swell in my chest.

"We could go for a quiet walk in the Halls." Saelon intervened and I looked at my unexpected ally.

"Master Elf, please don't encourage her." Tori sighed and shook her head before turning away from us. "I'll prepare you some camomile to drink. Just…wait here."

She disappeared behind one of the doors and I exchanged an amused look with Saelon.

"She reminds me of you."

"Well, she is my daughter after all."

She hadn't been the only one either. From time to time, often really, I couldn't help but wonder if Lori would have been like her sister. They had been so close as babies. Would she have chosen to follow a healer's path too? The usual twinge of pain echoed in my heart. I had never forgotten my lost baby. My little Lori who had been so cruelly taken away. Still, I had to admit that my life, though it hadn't been spared from terrible grief, had been a rather good one.

I only despaired that I might never see my grandchildren. Tori had many a young dwarf trying to get her attention, but the girl only had eyes for Bombur's son. He was a good lad, kind and strong like his father and uncles. Unlike his parents though, he had never truly been interested in kitchen works, preferring instead to follow Bifur's path. Bamur was a really strong warrior already. I was certain he and Tori would be happy, once they realized that their friendship might be more than just that.

It made me chuckle lightly to think about it. Saelon sent me an odd look but I was old enough to act strange and not be bothered about it.

"Shall we wait for this camomile drink then?" He looked at me, tilting his head a bit.

"I rather hoped you'd help me escape." I told him with a smirk.

"If that is your wish." He stood up in a swift move and offered me a helpful hand.

It made me almost giddy to sneak out at Saelon's arm. Of course we weren't going fast at all, but it still reminded me of my youth. I wasn't bitter about my age. I'd had a good life. It had been filled with love, cheers, pain as well but that was to be expected. It had been fulfilling, and that was what mattered most.

"So, where to?"

"Let's go to the markets for a bit. I haven't been there in a while."

"It is far." Saelon quietly noted and I looked up at him.

"Well, I don't have anything to do today. But if you do, you can always leave me to it." I smiled at him, knowing full well that not everyone was as free with their time as I was.

"It would be my pleasure to escort you all day, or until one of your friends decides to take my place."

On these words we slowly made our way back to the Halls. On the way there Saelon regaled me with tales and stories of his trip here. He was kind enough to talk about Bilbo and his apparently awed nephew who hid behind doors to try and sneak a look at the elves. Apparently he wasn't the only young hobbit to trail behind them while they were in the Shire. Many young hobbits shadowed the elves up until they left for Gabilgathol and Fili's Halls.

We stopped several times before even reaching the level ground and I was a bit tired by the time I reached it. It reminded me of that day, an age ago, when Kili and I quite literally stumbled into the city. Saelon asked me to tell him that tale while we sat near the pond, facing the Fall. I did so gladly, smiling at the dwarves who stopped by to say hello and remained to listen to the tale. Once this one was finished, a young dwarf asked how Saelon and I met, which started a whole new story. Saelon listened, only adding a few words here and there.

After this tale was finished, a voice behind me forced me to turn around.

"And here I thought that telling those stories was my job."

"I can't let you have all the fun." I retorted smiling at Bofur who leant forward, letting his forehead touch mine. He had started to use the old ways with me the day my hair looked greyer than his.

"How are you?" He asked me after offering a wave to greet Saelon who replied with a nod.

"I'm good. What of you?"

"I'm off to see our stall at the market. Bifur should be there already. He was bringing down new toys."

"Some things never change." I said while accepting Bofur's help to stand.

"Some things should never change." He replied in his usual amused tone. "Where were you going?"

"To see the markets actually." Saelon provided as he stood up gracefully.

"Well, then let's all go together." Bofur offered me his arm and I took it gratefully.

The three of us took off at a slow pace while Bofur explained to Saelon what toys exactly their family was making. Saelon was politely interested until Bofur mentioned the articulated dolls. Then the elf's curiosity turned much more genuine.

It took us a bit to reach the marketplace, but the dwarves around usually seeing us left us enough space to walk at our pace. They knew Bofur as one of the Halls' main Masters. He was well known for his expertise in the mines as well as his great crafting abilities. The story teller was well respected among our peers.

It lifted my spirits a lot to see how busy the market was. What a sight! Stalls everywhere covered in many different kinds of goods. Foods, tableware, trinkets of all sorts. The Longbeards now had the luxury to actually own trinkets of all sorts. All the families weren't rich, but Fili made sure that everyone could be proud of their work and shared in the wealth that trade had brought the community. Fili's views might have shocked some dwarves at some point, but nowadays everyone could see how much it had helped our clan. Still, it didn't mean that our previous king had been forgotten. A large statue of Thorin Oakenshield stood in the main Hall, not too far from the Fall actually, and another one had been placed in a Hall of statues that Fili had insisted we kept. Many faces there were unknown to any dwarf alive, and many statues had been damaged, some irreparably. Still, what could be salvaged had been. Many statues stood in the Hall of our Forefathers. Some called it the Hall of Heroes, but I personally didn't like that name much.

Finally we arrived at Bifur's stall and he immediately had me sit on his stool before Bofur showed his ware to an intrigued Saelon. I conversed for a bit with Bifur, it had been many decades since the last time I required anyone to translate anything the old injured dwarf said.

After a bit, I saw Nori stride easily between the crowd, mostly unnoticed by averyone around him.

"There you are." He looked at me, love shining in his eyes, though an ever present glint of worry had me sigh.

We exchanged a few words with everyone before I took Nori's arm to go meet with the others for a late lunch.

That afternoon had me spending time with Dori and Fili before we all left to have dinner at Bombur's home.

Dinner was as cheerful as always. The dwarves laughed, shouted, argued, drank, sang and danced.

It was a beautiful evening spent with all the people dear to me.

Well, almost all the people dear to me.

"I wonder how Balin and Ori are." I muttered softly to Nori as we reached the door to our home later that night. They had left some time ago and I couldn't help but worry for them.

"I should have gone with them. They could have used a good scout." Nori said in reply, adding a log to the fire.

I frowned and shook my head.

"You sent several of the dwarves you trained." I was certain he had sent the best too. "And I'm glad you didn't go." I added selfishly. "It's already painful to think I will probably never see them again." I murmured softly, fully aware of my age and what little time I had probably left.

"Don't say that." Nori immediately retorted, not entirely able to hide the fear from his eyes.

"Nori." I sighed and held my hand out. He immediately took hold of it. "I will die before you." I said, pain and sadness weighing heavily on my heart.

"You're not going to die yet Sanmizim." He retorted stubbornly. "You can still live for long, peaceful years."

"Yes." I softly agreed, though I wasn't sure I could believe this lie myself. "I might. But whether I do or not, you must know that I am glad for everything that happened." I looked into his eyes and smiled. "I am so happy we've met."

Nori was silent but I could see emotions shine in his eyes. Then he blinked and cleared his throat.

"Don't talk as if you just took a sword through your chest."

I snorted at his words and rolled my eyes.

"And here I was, trying to be romantic." I deadpanned.

"Well, come on, let's be romantic on our way to the bedroom." He replied, helping me stand up. I couldn't hide how tired I was from him and he easily stepped in, helping me walk. "And next time you feel like taking a hike in the Halls, please ask someone to come along."

"I'm old, not useless." I grumbled and Nori smiled softly, pushing the door to our bedroom open.

Kindly he took my hand and placed a kiss on it. His eyes were teasing and I could see his smirk. It still made my heart flutter after all those years.

"I know sanmizim, but humour me, please?"

I snorted.

"Right." I allowed him to guide me to my side of the bed where he helped me to get rid of my dress, before he helped me into my night clothes.

I hated that he had to help me so much, but arthritis made it difficult for me to lift my arms nowadays. Sometimes it pained me to realize how young he still was compared to me.

"I look like an old prune and you still have colour in your hair." I sighed with a sad smile as I looked in the mirror that was in our room.

"You're still the most beautiful woman in my eyes." He whispered in my ear before kissing me lightly on the lips.

"And you're still a charmer, even after so much time has passed." I smiled at him.

"I love you Mizimul." He took my wrinkled face in his hand and smiled at me. "I always have and always will."

"And I love you too, my thief." I gently traced his features with my fingertips. Even with my eyes closed I could see his face perfectly.

"Try and get some rest." He kissed me once more before helping me to bed.

"I am quite tired today." I finally admitted.

"You've been running around the whole city." He teased me with a kind smile. "Of course you'd be tired."

"I didn't run." I protested weakly and he laughed. Oh Mahal, I loved his laugh.

"Sleep well, my love." He kissed me one last time and I closed my eyes.

I was quite tired that day. Moving and shuffling a bit I finally found a comfortable position and I let out a contented sigh. I was happy. My heart rate suddenly sped up a bit, but I felt too tired to bother about it. Little by little I felt myself drift away into a deeper sleep.

My last thought was about Nori.

Nori...

The Halls were utterly silent. The forges, the mines, all the workshops were empty. No one was working that day. Everyone had gathered in the main Hall and everyone was silent. No songs, no cheers would be heard that day. There would be a feast, but it wouldn't be before several days at least, when all the carvings would be finished. Until then, most of the dwarves would slow down or stop their activities entirely. Most would actually be busy with helping for the preparations. Some were crafting tools and beads to place in jars that would later be put in stone caskets. Some were working on preparing the feast that would have to be memorable. Some were being sent as messengers to nearby towns and cities. Some were working on the caskets and its intricate carvings. And some were also working on statues and paintings that would later be displayed in various Halls.

A grand statue was already planned to be set in the Healing wards.

She would watch over them for as long as those Halls would last.

These were sombre days.

She hadn't been that close to many families and clans, but she had known everyone, having treated everyone at least once in her short life.

She would be honoured as their Bastûna, as the first human to have been accepted in their Halls, as the one girl who followed their late king Thorin to the battle of Erebor and saved their king Fili's life and helped bring him back to them. And finally, she would be honoured as the one who opened the doors to Gabilgathol with their prince Kili, though they had always both joked that it had all been quite an unplanned adventure.

The king and all the council were in mourning as they had been the closest to her.

Words were softly muttered that Nori, the Master of Whispers hadn't left her side ever since he had discovered her death. Many knew that she had been his One, and those who knew what it truly meant were painfully aware of what he must feel. To have found his One, only for her to be human had been cruel indeed. They prayed Mahal to be kind to both their souls, though some feared Mahal could do nothing for a human girl, however close she had been to the dwarves. And how unfair was it? After all, she had, over the years, become a dwarf herself, hadn't she? Yet, those doubts were soon replaced by a deeply ascertained belief. No force could tear a dwarf from his One, not even death. It was Mahal's own rule after all. She had to be already waiting with their forefathers in Mahal's Halls.

She had bled with them, for them. She had been a dwarf in every way that mattered, and yet she had been human. And yet she had grown old and died at such a young age.

She would be honoured, as one of their own. Put in stone in the depth of their city, she would be placed in the Halls of the Heroes of old, where her husband would join her in decades to come. And doubtless Mahal will reunite them in his Halls.

Yes. Everyone was sure of it, even the King himself, she would be welcomed in Mahal's Halls where, while waiting for her One, she would feast with their forefathers and her old mentor. Enjoying ale and sharing stories, her soul living forever more.

Days passed and soon the week of preparation was over. Once more they all gathered in the Halls and corridors. The silence was complete. Then footsteps were heard. Slowly, a procession appeared.

No one was surprised by the sight, yet everyone was impressed.

King Fili came first, holding a silver casket that had been engraved in detailed designs of leaves and flowers. Amidst the designs, runes had been carefully carved to spell her name. Everyone knew that this was a gift barely arrived from the elvish city of Imladris. The Elvish lords had gifted their Bastûna with this casket containing, if words were to be believed, a tome filled with samples of medicinal plants. It was a gift beffiting the Healer they had lost. And the fact that the King himself had chosen to carry it spoke of the growing friendship between their people. As did the fact that the elvish healer who had arrived the day before her death was in the procession. He was carrying a crown made of fresh and dried medicinal flowers that he would place beside her. Behind them came the prince and the lady Dis. Each one carried wooden caskets filled with the items that would follow her soul to her next adventure, furnishing the home granted by Mahal in his Halls.

Master Bombur was carrying a large golden plate filled with food, while the lady Sigrid was carrying their Bastûna's brand new Healer's pouch, filled with the many tools they had finely crafted and engraved in the past week. Behind the lady was the master Bifur, carrying on a golden plate the twin daggers that had been made for her for this occasion. On his back, they could all see the silver staff that had been chiselled and engraved with precious jewels.

Then came the masters, Bofur, Dori, Dwalin, and Gloin were carrying a long stretcher where her body lay. Her face was hidden by the silver mask depicting her face in her youth. She was draped in silk sheets and every inch of her skin that should have been visible was covered in silver. Surrounding her hair like a halo were freshly cut medicinal flowers and on the sides of the long stretcher runes could be read with her name first, then an epitaph; Mahal's lost soul, the human-born who died a dwarf.

They all bowed as the procession passed, to show their respect, to honour her, and also to protect and give intimacy to those who followed her body, her family. No one needed to see them to know they were there, passing them, following the procession and carrying the most precious gifts for her to take with her.

As per tradition, master Nori would be right behind her, carrying her actual weapons. And everyone knew he was flanked by his son and his remaining daughter, each carrying whichever gift they wanted. Probably her actual medical tools and, maybe one of the journals she had written during her stay. Everyone had seen her at least once, bent over a table or desk, scribbling one thing or another away. Then she would hear that she wasn't alone and she would look up, offering a kind smile to her visitor, or a worried frown depending on the situation. And that image of her would stay in their memories.

They stood back up after the procession passed them, and some chose to follow quietly while others remained where they stood.

They would all mourn a friend, kin, a wife, a mother, but they felt reassured in the knowledge and certainty that they would see her again once they went back to the stone.

In the silence of the halls, there was only one sound that echoed and it was the final note to a long, full life.

The grave grind of rock against rock resounded through the mountains.

And finally, Bastûna Amelia was encased in stone and resting in peace.

THE END