This fic depicts Snape when he first became a Death Eater, before Lily dies and he redeems himself. Somewhat canon compliant? Hmm…not intended

Sort of experimental, contains plenty of broody-Snapey-angst and Death Eater relationships, portrayals, etc. Also there will be snippets of Snape's childhood/school years and past and present conflict with his parents

Has some mature stuff going on sometimes, so yeah…Rated T

Prologue: Something Warm

Severus was muttering to himself in irritation, attempting to climb a huge tree. He wiggled up the enormous trunk and gripped on to a branch, scrabbling and hoisting himself up gradually. He was scrawny but agile, managing to perch up high within a manner of minutes, his black stare scanning the horizon. He was looking for dark red hair, listening for the sound of jovial laughter, any sign of the girl he had grown so fond of watching.

He still hadn't forgiven himself for what had happened the other day. The girl, Lily, she had been so offended after he had called her a witch. No matter how many times he tried to forget about his mistake, nothing seemed to distract him from how awful she probably thought he was. He couldn't get over the fact that he had ruined his chance to tell her she was one, the only other person in that terrible Muggle neighborhood that was like him.

He held on tightly as a gust of wind surged through the tree and his black hair flew about his face, messy, greasy strands flinging all over. He put a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the sunlight and the wind as he tried to spot the girl named Lily. As he looked over the expanse of grass, the empty swing-sets, he caught sight of her, her figure rushing out from under the bushes just outside the playground. In the sun, her hair seemed to glow alight, like a lick of flame among the brown and green of the summer's day. She was wearing overalls, a yellow shirt, no shoes.

He waited, his breathing suddenly shallow from nervous excitement. He hoped that she was alone…he prayed that her stupid Muggle sister was not there to embarrass him this time. It seemed as though, for the first time in his whole life, he was lucky; Lily was by herself, wandering around aimlessly, and he knew he'd have a second chance. She was just a couple feet away from the tree when he called out to her anxiously, afraid that she would still be mad at him.

"Hello," he said, his soft voice travelling in the breeze. The girl jumped, clearly startled. She looked around in confusion and then she noticed him, her gaze settling upon his sallow face hiding in the branches. Her green eyes narrowed to slits after a moment.

"Oh, it's you," she huffed, crossing her arms, "Tuney told me not to talk to you. She said if you keep following us around we'll tell mum on you." Severus tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest.

"Please," he began, looking down at her earnestly, "I didn't mean to call you a witch like that. I just wanted to tell you— well, we can do magic the two of us. I know because I saw you when you flew off that swing. That's magic!" Lily didn't uncross her arms, but her eyes widened after a moment.

"Why should I believe you?" she said, "You insulted me."

"No," he scrambled, "I wasn't trying— listen, I know what you are. Those things you did— it's magic, you have to believe me! You're going to get a wand and— and then you'll go to Hogwarts—"

"Hogwarts?" Lily said loudly, "What's a Hogwarts? You don't even make any sense!" She started to march away, her long hair swishing as she went.

"No!" Severus cried out, but she continued to go. He blinked a couple of times and his grip tightened around the swaying branches. In his desperation, an idea came to his head.

"Watch, I can do it too!" he shouted suddenly, and she turned back around.

With that statement, he swept out of the tree over the ground far below, looking like a deranged bat in his overly large black coat. Lily yelled out in surprise, hurrying backwards as his shadow arched overhead. Severus, who had expected to maybe fly as she had several days earlier, instead plummeted to the ground clumsily. He hit the surface and skidded on his bony knees, scraping a layer of skin off each one, and then he rolled into a lopsided pile, his face pressed into the earth. Dazed, he found his hands to the ground and tried to lift himself up, his face flushing colorfully. He heard Lily rush over to him, her bare feet pattering against the ground.

"Are you okay?" she cried, sounding concerned, though there was a slight smile in her expression, like witnessing him fall was rather funny. He wiped the dirt off his face frantically and tried not to appear flustered.

"I'm fine," he mumbled sheepishly, despite the searing pain in his knees. He felt something on his shoulder, looked up and saw the Lily girl resting a gentle hand on him. He shuddered, unused to such a thing, and then there was a soft, plushy feeling extending from her touch, spreading down his shoulder all the way to his core. She held out another hand to help lift him up and he took it hungrily, savoring the touch of her palm and fingers intertwined with his own.

"You can let go now," she sniffed, and he realized that he was still grasping on after he had made it to his feet. He jerked his hand back quickly, his face burning hot. He then began to dash away, knowing he had made himself look like a complete idiot. Always messing things up, always, just like his mum and dad kept telling him…He didn't turn around to look at Lily, too ashamed of his inability to fly and impress her. As he kept going, however, he heard a tiny gasp, and it was enough for him to stop in his tracks.

"You weren't lying!" Lily exclaimed. Severus turned around, confused, and then he saw what she was gawking at.

All around him, the leaves and stones at his feet had somehow miraculously whisked themselves afloat, like some kind of slow-moving tornado
extending upwards around his lower body. He looked down, mildly taken aback, and then he brought his gaze to Lily, who was racing closer to him.

"You're amazing!" she said breathlessly, stopping with her eyes glued to the floating debris. Severus's heart practically burst with joy. No one had ever told him that before…

"It's nothing," he said softly, a smile growing on his thin face, "Just magic, like I said."

"Magic?" Lily echoed, "Is it really true? It's really magic?"

He nodded. Filled with awe, Lily leaned down towards the stones and leaves floating around his legs.

"Can I touch it?"

"Sure," Severus said. He watched her get close to him again, watched her place a hand into the slow vortex. She touched one of the larger stones and it hopped into the air, launching above both of their heads. The stone then fell and pelted Severus on the forehead.

"Ow!"

"Eek!" Lily yelped, standing up straight, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that! I didn't hurt you, did I?" Severus was rubbing his forehead.

"No, it's alright," he mumbled, "You didn't hurt me." Lily didn't seem to believe him. She leaned in to take a closer look, her face rather close to his. She was no longer showing the repulsion she had displayed the day before, was now interested in entering his space, perhaps because the one called Tuney wasn't there to convince her how horrible he was…

"You're all bruised," she said worriedly, "Are you sure you're all right?" Severus hunched his shoulders when he realized what she was referring to. Those bruises…he'd had them for days. No, that was not from her or from the fall…that was from his father, but he wasn't going to tell her that.

"I fell from the tree a couple times before you came," he lied, looking down at his shoes, "I was trying to fly, like you. You did it so well. People like you and me, we can do stuff like that." Lily stared intently at him, her green eyes wide.

"So all that stuff you said before?"

"I wasn't trying to insult you," Severus said immediately, attempting to make himself clear, "I was trying to tell you that…well…you're special. Both of us. I was going to prove it to you, but then…" He trailed off, not wanting to think about the embarrassing fall he had suffered only moments ago. The swirling vortex of stones and leaves settled back to the ground as he relaxed a little more, glad that he had final gained her full attention.

Lily watched them fall, and then she looked back up at him.

"I've always wondered," she murmured, her expression deep in thought, "I thought for the longest time…Mum and dad think there's something wrong with me…But there isn't anything wrong with me, is there?"

"No!" Severus insisted, "There isn't anything wrong at all! I'm the same way, and so is my mum! It's just magic, and you can't help it sometimes! I'm a wizard, and you're a—a—" He still hesitated, not wanting to anger Lily by calling her a witch.

"A witch?" she finished, furrowing her eyebrows at him. Severus nodded tentatively, relieved that she didn't seem offended. Lily instead looked mesmerized, and he could practically see the cogs working in her brain as she began to consider his words. He waited patiently before she spoke again.

"My name's Lily," she said.

"Severus," he responded, expecting her to think his name was odd. Instead of wrinkling her nose or looking confused, she just smiled.

"Right, Severus Snape. Tuney said you're from a family of weirdoes. Sorry about that. I told her that was not a very nice thing to say." Severus felt a hot, sharp prickle of annoyance towards Lily's sister. He vividly remembered the obnoxious blonde girl that had almost made him deaf with her shrill insults.

"Well, who cares what she thinks, she's just a Muggle." Lily frowned. She looked as though she was about to defend her sister, but she seemed too confused by the word Muggle to go on the defensive.

"You called her that before. What does it mean?"

"It means she's normal," Severus said, barely disguising the malice in his tone, "She can't do magic." Lily raised her eyebrows. She gave him a critical, questioning look, a look that he didn't like nor understand. For another moment the green eyes found the black, and then the girl shifted her attention.

"Magic…" she whispered contemplatively, and then her face lit up like a light bulb. "I'm going to try and fly again!" She began to run in the direction of the swing set. When she reached it she gracefully leapt into one of the swings, the structure creaking as she gained momentum. Severus stood awkwardly watching her, unsure of what to do next.

"You can try to fly too, if you want!" Lily called out after a moment as she swung back and forth, "No need to be shy, Severus!" Severus felt his face flush again. She had said his name. He had never heard his name, his parents always just called him boy. He was clenching his right hand, the one she had held, eyeing her with longing as she swung in front of him.

It was the warmest thing he had ever felt. Her gentle hand holding his own. It made him forget about the skin that had scraped off his knees, the endless loneliness he faced everyday he went home. It was something warm, something benevolent, something wonderful and pure. He didn't know what it was, but it touched him in more ways than she could ever imagine, and he was never going to forget the feeling. As he joined her on that swing-set, prepared to tell her everything about the Wizarding World, he couldn't help but smile, thrilled that he could finally talk to someone, a person just like him.