Asuna should have a heart to heart with Kazuma lol

I wonder will you do a timeskip eventually where KazmaO levels up? Also, how popular is Oz? Does Kiritimati and Asuna know about King Kazma and or have accounts?

First off, I absolutely adore this story. All I want is more and more. It’s brilliant. And I know what you said in the last chapter about giving this up for adoption. Has any taken it? And if not, do you think you could ever come back to this if you finish your co-writing jobs?

I'm not sure if you're still active but I just wanted to say that this story is fantastic and I hope you find the time to continue it!

I love this fanfiction! It's a great concept and it's written very well! Please keep up the great work! :)

Your a rude person. I love fairy tail,one piece and summer wars. Your basically a anime hater that likes to hate on anime!

The issue with reviewing fics that go for a time is troublesome. This was posted waaaay back in 23 Dec 2013, like two years plus ago. No doubt you've become a far better writer in this time so for the sake of reviewing, I will pretend this is hip new and fresh so let's get started.

I will also start off by saying I still have NOT watched Summer Wars but from my brief research I think I could pull it off. And yes I first heard of Summer Wars from gigguk as well.

First up, the wordings. Stuff like announcements should always stand out from the rest and you could have bold and italise them.

I usually tell writers to write out the numbers but this time I would actually tell you to number you words so yes write 32 seconds rather than thirty-two. It's a digital interface we're seeing anyway.

The geography leaves much to be desired. Summer Wars is fucking COLORFUL man, it's bright and pretty and it does not translate as well on page. King Kazma barely gets a description him. The audience is quiet, it doesn't seem to be a spectacle. They might as well be fighting one v one with no one to watch.

Moar description is the solution.

/

In the real world, Kazuma logs out. Uh, how does he log out? I don't know what interface it uses and sure I could check wikipedia but that's your job as a writer, innit? He might as well be off his computer and stay in a safe zone while he checks on his baby sister.

Okay first of all Kazuma is a serious gamer. He SHOULD know about SAO already. If anything he should hear people on OZ thinking of MOVING to SAO. Kazuma sounds like the kinda guy who follows the development of such technology the same way certain gamers follow every news about our current VR technology.

Suddenly seeing an ad about SAO and choosing to pre-order would be near impossible. SURELY thousands of others would have done it before him. I'd rather you write him knowing about SAO beforehand.

/

So in short, the prologue is ... eh.

Like it works, it does, but it fails to suck me in. Even if I were familiar with Summer Wars (which I'm not) I would probably go "oh a Summer Wars X SAO fic, cool" and go do something else.

Perhaps something like "yo this is Argus I heard you did so and so and you're like super cool wanna check out our game?" would be interesting. Granted, if this was an OC I'd yell SUUUEEEE but seeing this is Kazuma and he is the MC from Summer Wars then I would be more to be sucked in. Like a demonstration by Argus saying "look how different this is from OZ would work".

Either way, I say it's alright, but not eye poppingly face suckingly good. Onto the next chapter!

Note: Will not review next chapter lest you reply.

I would just like to say a huge THANK YOU! for writing this. I never expected to find such an enjoyable read amongst the few existing summer wars crossovers.

Very good chapter! Now that KazmaO is fully emotionally invested, it makes sense for him to make a noob mistake. I'm also glad the animosity between him and Kirito is clearing up. Thanks for the chapter! I plan to check out those other fics as soon as I can.

nice chapter.

I'm enjoying the story so far; I hope it hasn't been abandoned! I do have one fairly minor nitpick though: the card game is called hanafuda, not harafuda

Please update this story! Completely loving it!

This is an interesting story! Summer Wars has the potential to be crossed over with, like, every game/machine-themed work ever, yet there are only five crossovers? Thanks for being one of the five!

Interesting. And while it's virtually dripping with teenage drama, well, they're teenagers.

That was actually a neat twist; annoying, but that just means Kibaou is in-character. A bit surprised Kazuma wasn't part of the raid, but meh. The interactions between him the others are also getting better.