Please update!

I NEED MORE!

I think you could have really made this story good but it was painful to read. You should definitely proof read it was like you just didn't bother to proofread anything like nobody would notice.

First of all this is NOT a flame this is constructive criticism and if you can't tell the difference between them them frankly you shouldn't even bother trying to write.

First of all I found problems within the first few words of the first chapter And my confusion only grew from there. Let me give you a sample of your work so you know what I'm talking about. All of this is REAL and from YOUR story.

**She was quite literally Tony baby sister. Being that she was more than ten years his junior, fourteen to exact. She was accident she knew it, Tony knew it, hell, Mia was pretty sure everyone knew it.**

What's with the caveman talk? Language bad. Need rewrite. (Oh and everyone knows it? I'll be getting to that later)

**Mia, stood about five foot eight inches tall, walked off a private jet.**

What? That's the weirdest placement of a description I've ever seen. It reminds me of the not too subtle product placement in movies. You should have put it somewhere it matters. Like when Tony and Mia meet up again as adults you can note the subtle or not so subtle ways they are different.

**No such luck a man who eerie like Agent Phil Coulson stepped out of the car. A man who Tony said had died about a month ago.**

SWEET BUTTERY JESUS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Even if you haven't watched "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D" you have to have a good reason to even show why the hell Coulson would be alive A MONTH AFTER THE ATTACK ON NY! Do you know what happens when you break your ankle? You're in a cast for months, you go through rehab and then theres follow up appointment with the doctor. And that's for something as simple as a broken ankle. Phil Coulson WAS SHOT THROUGH THE FREAKING CHEST! There is literally no way he could be up and moving on his own letting everyone know he is alive. You just pulled an 'M. Night Shyamalan' and did what the director of 'X-men 3' did when he butchered the Phoenix storyline. Why is he there? Did he have a clone? Is he alien? WHY ARE YOU HERE AT ALL?

** "Please, Miss Stark we know you help us to get Natalie into Stark industries."

"Mr. Coulson, we both know that Natalie was really Natasha also known as Black widow. I may not be a genius but I am not dumb or blind."**

There are so many things wrong with this I don't know where to start. First off what is Mia? She obviously isn't a agent of S.H.I.E.L.D so why would she even know Natalia? Their paths would NEVER cross And on the slightest chance they would why the hell would she say OUTLOUD Natalia's alias and codename. She's a civilian and under no circumstances has the clearance to even know S.H.I.E.L.D exists. It's not a secret organization for nothing. Do you even know how badass Blackwidow is? She has super soldier serum in her! Where were you even going with this? And why would Mia help get Natalia into Stark Industries? She doesn't work there, isn't a stockholder and has no conection to it except Tony who actually owns and runs everything. Natalia isn't even qualified to be there. She's a spy it's what she does! She doesn't need a job working for Stark. It's like if you are in the Army and then someone goes "OK today you work for Burger King because I say so." You're gonna be like ,"No! What the fuck do I know about flipping burgers?"

You aren't trained to make fries you were trained to kill!

And she was named after Peggy but her first name isn't Peggy but her last name is Carter? Unless she is Peggy granddaughter or they got married there is literally NO reason that should be there. When people usually name their kid after some one it's the actual name or a variation of it. This makes zero sense.
I couldn't take it with this story and I decided to skip to the second to last chaper and lost it. Nobody knows of her connection to Tony? Are you serious? Why would she have any pull in Stark Industries if she wasn't directly related to Anthony?(that's how it's spelled not Antony) Tony has been under the limelight since he was a fetus so it's literally inconceivable that the whole world would just be oblivious to Mia's presence.

You really need to delete this whole story and start over from scratch or get a Beta.

I like your story.

More please

Please update soon love this story

Keep up the good work love it too death keep it up

great chapter. plse update

Update soon, please!

Started at a sad moment for Mia, but ended up perfectly adorable. The way he said "I love you" when she was asleep was dreaming, and now they both say to each other! It's lovely my dear!
Xoxo Mari

Why can't I have him as my boyfriend! #singlegirlproblems! Did I miss something cause I'm not sure if I know what Steve is missing either or are we going to find that put later and hope tony doesn't go to prison iron man can't go to prison

Great! The paparazzi is terrible!

Thank you for updating.

Ja Ne

Poor Steve, he couldn't say it! I hope he gets another chance quickly!
Xoxo Mari

Oh no how could they ruin the date it! Hope tony can pull something out the bag or Steve is just such a wonderful boyfriend that Mia can get through it