It’s been a while since I’ve seen this movie, but I think it’s neat you wrote a poem about Clopin. Your word choice throughout this piece is excellent – it comes off as very striking and well-written.

I like how the first stanza is obviously talking about his singing with never directly mentioning it. The use of words “lilting, striking and skimming” really build on the bird imagery that’s being used to describe his singing voice. It’s also a neat piece of characterization to mention the music of the bells in this part, and that Clopin would rather praise their music than take credit for his own show what kind of person he is.

The second stanza is very visually appealing; comparing the vibrant colors that he wears to the bird of paradise. I like how all the colors are then connected to his free-spiritedness. /This bird cannot last in a cage/All his vibrancy darkening blue./

The third stanza brings up his mysteriousness by comparing him to a raven, which works very well. He’s intelligent, observant and “elusive”, which really describes him quite well as the narrator.

Thanks for sharing your poetry- I enjoyed reading it. :)

Howdy, heydy! Popping over from a jaunt through the archives at the Reviews Lounge, Too - I saw your story and thought I would give it a looksee. As a quick note before I get started, I only know of the Disney version of Hunchback and it's been a while since I've seen it, so details might be a bit fuzzy with my canon-knowledge. Hopefully, that isn't a problem!

Onward!

First off, I'd like to say that while I usually am actively against rhyme schemes and rhyming in general in poetry, I'm really impressed with how well you handle it here. It actually adds to the piece and it seems very natural in that it adds a really even sort of rhythm to this piece rather than seeming forced or distracting. Kudos to you on that - it's rare that I think it works out like this, but you totally managed it.

Now something that I thought was really wicked about this piece was the fact that it seemed to echo Clopin's character, not just in the words but also in the rhythm. This first stanza especially has this incredible sort of musicality to it - even in my head, I hear it to a tune which would not be out of place at all in the movie. That said, the words definitely help and they capture him perfectly - he truly is a very vibrant character, full of life and pride and exuberance, but he's a side character. Despite being one of the most vivid people in the movie, he is very easily forgotten by a lot of people because he's not the 'face' of the story, even though the story would definitely be missing something without him, and he's totally fine with that not being noticed - in fact, he thrives in spite of it. I don't know how you do it, but you capture that whole feeling of quiet essentialness perfectly here - I feel that, despite it never being explicitly told.

Okay, another quick side note here, but I love your use of colour in this piece to paint the images and portray the character. All the vibrant description adds this lovely air of liveliness that really helps the piece along.

Alright, off side note. This second stanza is equally awesome as the first. As previously stated, I love how you describe him through the colours here. There aren't any dark hues, there aren't any blacks or somber colours - it's all light and playful and majestic. Mixing this with the last few lines about how his liveliness is unable to be contained, it provides an epic undertone of seriousness to it though without making it overwhelming. It's just this one subtle note of sobriety here among the colour, but it's impossible to ignore because it adds so much depth to Clopin - he's painted and beautiful and alive, but he's also a human and you can't contain him if you want him to stay as he is. It's wonderful how you handle this and I'm actually really impressed - well done!

And again, this depth you add here in stanza three blows me away. It's a sudden contrast to be comparing all this colour to this sudden and total lack thereof, but man alive is it awesome. Rather than causing the reader to jump out of the story with the shift, it has the opposite effect and pulls me even farther in. I love how suddenly this change of tone comes about, actually, because it's almost like flipping a switch and bringing out this sudden darker side. That effect causes this serious sort of mystic feeling and that mystery makes me want to keep reading. The way that this works with these lines about how this bright and lively character lives near a graveyard and has killed just brings about this total feeling of a masquerade and just WOW it's awesome. I love it.

And of course, your wrap up here is wonderful. Somehow, you perfectly summarise Clopin in these lines because you somehow manage to paint him as both an almost angelic, omniscient figure and as a not-quite-common-but-very-much-human man. He isn't just a person, he's a mystery and a beauty and something bizarre but wonderful that defies definition. To be seen by him and noticed by such an almost ethereal person is every bit the honour you paint him as, and just WOW. WOW.

All in all, this poem is awesome. You have wonderful imagery, wonderful emotion, a great rhythm to it - this poem is everything that poetry should be, and it is a wonderful tribute which quick literally is the written embodiment of everything that Clopin is as well. Absolutely wonderful work - very well done! Bravo and keep it up!

Bookworm

Hello there! I'm over from RLt. I'm not actually totally fandom blind, but I've only seen bits and pieces of this movie, and I don't think Clopin was in the parts I saw. Anyway, though, to the review:
At first I wasn't sure what to think about the loose meter, but I liked it better the more I read. That style actually seemed to fit the theme really well, maybe better than a strict meter would have. I particularly liked certain variations of long lines with short lines, like this part:
"But it's his own voice which livens the land,
He ignores the credit he's due."
You also made good use of internal rhyme in the central lines of each stanza.
You really show us this character by comparing him to three different types of birds. It made a fascinating contrast, especially the merry plumage of the bird of paradise and the raven associated with Death. The descriptions give me a sense of daring and recklessness.
Several of your rhymes sounded forced, as though you were really struggling to come up with something to rhyme in a few places. The ones I noticed most were "That he loves them seems so true" and "To confine him would just never do." I know coming up with good rhymes is hard, though. Just something to take a look at if you ever want to come back to this.
All in all, well done! I enjoyed reading!

Wow what a lovely poem! The Hunchback of Notre Dame has always been one of my favorite stories. I'm not much of a poet, but the way you wrote this flowed so smoothly and harmoniously. My favorite line would have to be: "His secretive knowing, in his eyes hint a-glowing." I don't know why exactly, but it just speaks to me. So great job!

I'm sure everyone has praised you on your imagery, and you deserve every ounce of praise you receive. You manage to suggest the bad and good sides of Chopin and remind us of his importance to the movie. The comparison to the raven reminds us of how he nearly killed the main characters, while the comparison to the bird of paradise reminds us that he's the one who put on the puppet show for the children.
I would like to talk about your use of poetic devices. The poem is too structured for a bird that can't be confined. You have a pretty consistent rhyme scene. Every line is end stopped. This poem is in a cage, even though Chopin is allegedly not. Poetry seeks to be the experience. Give your poem breathing space. Remove a few commas, or periods. Just play with the rhyme scheme a little bit, perhaps throw in a slant rhyme. That is not to say I don't like this. It is just that it is too rigid for the subject matter.

I've never really thought to examine Clopin's character much, as he didn't seem like the forefront of the film (I never read the novel). However, in all reality, he really does play a fairly large role, not just as narrator, but as witness to the character dynamics and our window to the world of Quasi and friends. Also, you remind us that not only did he witness the joys, but also the not so joyous events, such as death.

I'd never considered him a songbird, but as I read this, I quite like the comparison, and I love the raven comparison. Also, I adored the imagery about his eyes, because indeed, he really did hold secrets. Also, it seems to me the title is very fitting, considering it's set in Paris after all. And even though it isn't set to music as you'd hoped, it definitely had a lyrical feel. This was extremely well-written, and you've made me have an appreciation for Clopin that I didn't have before. Well done! :)

Even on the first read, this is a beautiful poem to read. It clearly shows a picture of a man with many facets.
The first verse showcases his voice. “Lilting chords” “striking high octaves” and “skimming low notes” speak of a remarkable singer who, knowing the time period in which this novel was written, presumably had no formal training since people with disabilities were shunned at that time. I would suggest, though, that in the second-to-last line the word “But” be moved to the end of the line.
The second verse is about his clothes. They are bright and eye-catching, making me want to watch him all the time, even take him home as my own toy. Yet, somehow, in doing that, his clothes would lose all their beauty.
The third verse tells me how he looks and behaves. As a complement to the music of his voice and the brilliance of his clothes, he has dark hair and a character to match. He seems to be a man who keeps to himself, purposely giving off a ‘cursed’ vibe (living near a graveyard seems a bit of overkill to me), knowing people will shun him “so much all the more.
On the second reading, things got even more intricate. It was then I realised that there is a pattern to the rhyming (in each verse lines 2 and 4 rhyme, as do lines 7 and 9), and that some of the rhyming only became apparent when I spoke the words aloud. This poem is beautifully crafted and exquisitely written. Great work!

Hi! For starters, I haven't watched Hunchback of Notre Dame for a long time, so I have some knowledge about it (probably more than some because it's sometimes mentioned in the Donal Duck comics I subscribe to).

I find that comparing Clopin to 'songbird', 'bird of paradise', and 'raven' is effective in showing that he isn't just a sweet person who sings well ('songbird' and 'bird of paradise'); he has a darker persona as well ('raven').

The comparison to 'songbird' just works well in highlighting Clopin's singing ability (because he sings in the beginning of the movie). First, the line 'his lilting chords enriching the air' makes a good entrance to the next two lines: 'striking high octaves with perfection' and 'skimming low notes with flair'. Those two lines are great; there's a parallel between 'high octaves' and 'low notes'. Combined with the line 'his lilting chords...', they are especially effective in depicting that Clopin can sing well.

The comparison to 'bird of paradise' perfectly describes Clopin's appearance, because it's colorful, just like Clopin. Clopin wears purple and pink, and there's something like yellow mane on his hat (the 'flame' metaphor brings me back to the mane, because 'mane' and 'flame' just work).

The comparison to 'raven' is effective in depicting Clopin's darker side. He is a bad guy after all.

The last stanza refers back to Clopin's exterior, which sums up the poem just well. Clopin is an adorable bad guy after all.

I find that the rhyme pattern is abcbdefgf in the 'comparison' stanzas, and abab in the final stanzas. Rhyming is difficult, but is always neat in a poem, and you manage it just well! Yeah, it makes this poem musical, and I don't think it's necessary to set it to music. :)

Great work!

Hey! Here because your story got nominated for an RLT award :) Also, I love Hunchback.

This is a fun tribute to Clopin, whose whimsy I always loved. His color opened the movie and set the scene and you portray that perfectly here in the first stanza by immediately calling him a "songbird". The comparison of him to the Bells of Notre Dame is another great simile because it highlights his eccentric flair that he wouldn't be Clopin without and ties back to the "songbird" designation.

I like that you continue the bird idea in the second stanza, this time describing the colors he wears. But really it is obvious that you are describing the color of his personality and how he is a free spirit, even before you use the reference to how you can't cage the bird and how confining one such as him (i.e. living a "regular" life instead of the Romani way) would be very wrong.

The raven description is also fun—again I find it to be double-purposed—as it's not just about his dark hair and mysterious dark eyes, but really about another layer of his personality. Clopin is the jester on the surface but there's a mystery about him and we will never know all the facts—but then that's part of his appeal.

The last lines seem not to fit with the rest but they are still a fine ending because it keeps that air of mystery that fits right in with his character and sums up the other stanzas, each in a line.

I totally agree this poem would be even better set to music—perhaps if there's an instrumental version of the opening song without his lyrics?

Very well done.

Hi there and congratulations on your nomination for Best Hurt/Comfort Story in the Reviewer’s Choice Awards over at the Reviews Lounge, Too!

I have to admit that while I know the Hunchback of Notre Dame, I am not fandom savvy enough to know characters and the like. That said, I thought this was a really great piece of poetry. You have a lot of great imagery throughout that creates this image of a character that is tortured and tormented, who spends his life living in the shadows. There’s a haunting quality in the words that tells us that this unnamed character has lived a hard and lonely existence. It’s tragic and sad and makes one feel badly for the character and the life they are forced to live.

This here: ((He is a raven,/His black velvet eyes, his glossy black hair,)) is a great personification of the trickster spirit that the raven is known as in most lore. However, the raven is also known as the harbinger. He brings death, delivers souls to the underworld. So this suggests that this person is tricky, that they like to play games, they are a prankster… and they could even be a deliverer of death.

These two lines here: ((His elusiveness and his humour,/And his dark, mysterious air,)) really reflect the trickster even more. You don’t always know you are face-to-face with the prankster until he’s played some prank upon you. I loved the use of the word (elusiveness) in combination with his (humor) because it helps to convey how much he remains in the shadows until it is time for him to make his entrance. The punctuation is appropriately placed, creating the right pauses when they are needed so that the reader considers the words that are being spoken.

I have to say that this section here: ((He does seem well acquainted with Death,/He's delivered it oft times before,/Yes, he even lives near to the graveyard,/Raven adage grounded, so much all the more.)) really solidifies that he’s not completely the nice guy that we might want to think he is. He’s given people death, he could be friends with the Reaper and he could even help with tricking unsuspecting people to their deaths.

In all, this was a really lovely poem and I greatly enjoyed reading it! Fantabulous job!

Well, even not set to music, it's still quite a fitting tribute to one of my favorite characters ever. Very beautiful rhyming scheme, and the rhythm is just captivating. It flits and flies like a bird very well, and reminds me of him. The title is perfect, and the whole comparison to birds is very nicely done. Characterization comes through so well, and the metaphors just add to the whole effect. It's so pretty.

It works well that this isn't super tight because that's the kind of character that Clopin is. I can just see his grin throughout, and it's gorgeous. Well done!

Cheers, dearie!

Hi there! I'm actually not fandom blind, I just haven't seen Hunchback of Notre Dame for years. So I'm a little familiar with it. I also study poetry in University so I know some poetry skills as well.

I like your rhyming scheme, abcbdefgf, very different. Although I was a little confused at first with why you didn't rhyme line five or six in the stanza, but now I understand. Well done!

I love the imagery in stanza two and three. You described him really well with concrete imagery (something I have yet to perfect). [Luscious purple, eye-catching pink] probably my favourite line. I can see the colours so perfectly.

[He's a bird of paradise] "bird of paradise" is a chiche. I would probably consider coming up with something different.

This poem speaks about so much inner beauty, that beauty is skin deep, it's what's on the inside that counts. You explained it very well in this with explaining his singing, and I absolutely enjoyed it. As a poetry student myself I know how hard it is to write these things. It takes years to master and months to write out a perfect poem.

Nice job!
-Sapphire

I feel so bad for the fact that I neither know the character nor know what to say. This was utterly beautiful and I feel that, if I knew the character he would come dancing around my imagination as more than a faceless figure constructed from what I learen from each line.

For all that I can say is that you gave a very good characterisation, because even I have an idea what he's about now.
Comparing him to those three birds easily creates and image in my mind.

And those last verses, are a nice resolution. Especially since your last comparison was a raven and you pointed out his darker features, all of that seems to be eased with those last lines. Reminding that he's not pure evil after all and quite friendly and kind. It's actully much like your last lines capture the essence of each part before.

I love it!

Despite me being a fandom blinder to this wonderful poet, you don't need to be one when your words sings to paint a person so wonderfully constructed!

I hate ffnet for not being able to highlight and paste which poem verse is my favourite. I do have a few actually.

"The bells he calls the city's soul. That he loves them seems so true. But it's his own voice which livens the land, he ignores the credit that's due." (I apologise in advance if I got your wording wrong since I am unable to copy the favourite verse)
- This paragraph was definitely my favourite. You had suggested he stands the hero in the city. That he is a humble person. That he values loyalty and dignity. It is a very imaginative way to see what kind of person he is.

Then within the last two paragraphs of the poems, he has a hidden personality that is hard to tell if he is a darker person and has the potential of falling to the wrong side. Strangely, your poem acts like a song!

Well done!

I really like this. Clopin is such a mysterious character, in that he has those moments where you're not sure whether he's good or amoral or even bad.
I think for the most part, you have a really good rhythm and flow that reminds me of Clopin’s songs. It's bold in the style of the songs he sings, and it works for him. I think there are a few lines that break the rhythm (“he’s a bird of paradise”, esp. because it breaks the pattern of ‘he is…’ by using the contraction, and “to confine him would just never do” because I feel that line especially is forcing the rhyme with ‘blue’. Towards the end you seem to find the flow a little more.
You also have some really evocative images: “All his vibrancy darkening blue”. It just brings to mind this wilting sort of sadness and decay, and it’s probably my favorite line.
I think your three main stanzas do an excellent job of exploring Clopin’s facets. He’s bright and dark and wonderful all at once, and I think your poem pays him a good tribute.
Cheers!
Kitten