This was a very original take on a Voldemort wins story. I really appreciated all the details that you put into building this world and I felt like it was very believable.

Yay, a dark side wins story!

I absolutely love what you've done with the story so far. The idea is so new and I can't help but really feel terrible for the situation Alice finds herself in, and the depth that you've given Rodolphus and Bellatrix, along with their son Roderic, is already astounding. Wonderful job so far, I can't wait to read more. Keep up the awesome work! Also, when I saw you had 99 reviews, I simply couldn't resist being the 100th.

Cool, really cool. The little details are exactly the parts that gives us a better idea about the new regime and we also see so many characters in one chapter, along with their backstory, canon or not. Very nice :)
And yes, now I see why the seng you had mentioned is so fitting for Alice :)

LOVED the story Vivien and I want more... I didn't realize I was at the end and was shocked that it was over.

I want to know how it ends...

Question: Why is Remus still alive? Does the battle of hogwarts never take place? Who killed Dumbledore, Professor Snape? How did Harry die?

Thanks for filling in these gaps to the story, I want to know how everything fits together in the story to best set my context.

Hi, I've just finished your story and I really liked it, the plot is great and the characters well developped, you even got me to almost like Rodolphus! I don't know if you're planning on making a sequel of this, but I would really like to read that!
xxx Afrenchgirl

And the conclusion! Feels so odd, my goodness. It made sense that Neville didn't tell his family about his father, given the situation. The children's sadness was very moving. Rodolphus' reaction I was really stunned about, I'd honestly thought that Alice's failing to return might bring a lot of trouble for Neville. Of course, given the way Rodolphus exposed things to Voldemort, it worked out but that seemed to be quite the risk as Voldemort could have punished Rodolphus for making arrangements and going all the way through with them without consulting him beforehand…
I liked the way you described the children's party, with the gifts and the guests. The diary reminding Neville of Ginny was especially interesting, and Neville's reaction to Bellatrix's gift too… As for the discussion between Neville and Rodolphus, the latter had really worked things out and made them all official and as safe as could be, it was pretty impressive. I really liked the part with Roderic, his demanding to know why Alice had left and his being disappointed that she had run away. I was really sad for the poor boy, feeling abandoned once more that the one person he had grown to trust. In a way, I found it a little chilling that Neville and Rodolphus seemed to agree that Alice had behaved quite irresponsibly, although Neville didn't openly admit it. It was true that she was very wrapped in her suffering and her reactions could seem difficult to understand from an outsider's perspective, however. I was very interested by the way you used the children's game to make Neville realize that the life his mother had loved and been used to was one she could never have regained in the current society, and that she couldn't adapt to the latter, and so she had been right to go in that regard. I liked the balance you showed in the ending, it wasn't all bright but Neville had his family and his values and would hang onto that… Very nice!

Wow, this chapter was so full—the confrontation was really fascinating, such a crucial moment. I liked the way you showed Alice appreciating the wide difference between Healer Neubert and Rodolphus at the beginning. Neville's and Alice's reactions to the news were very fitting: Alice felt angry at first that Frank had seemingly abandoned them, but once Neubert had explained what had happened exactly she understood. I really appreciated the way she immediately thought that this behaviour was exactly like Frank, and made a correct assessment of how he had been feeling all those years—showed how well she knew him… And once that problem was cleared, she didn't blame Frank in any way and was very eager to see him again. I also loved her briefly thinking that the thoughts that had come to her in her desperation, about her being so weak he didn't want anything to do with her anymore, might be wrong after all—and the fact that she couldn't still take it all in yet though, and needed to see him with her own eyes and hear it all from him to be reassured. That part was quite moving. As for Neville, you pictured his reluctance quite well, how it all seemed too huge to be true, and he still had Rodolphus' warnings in mind. "If something's too good to be true, it usually isn't."—that was a good point. Alice's reactions to his behaviour were also well handled, she didn't really understand it at first as he acted much more guarded than she did, then she saw his point, but had rational arguments against it and was convinced by Neubert's story. You also really showed Neville's insecurities and his inferiority complex regarding his father, which he's always thought of as a hero and a role model, especially from his grandmother… And even though Alice reassured him and told him that Frank was only so demanding with himself, not with the others, she had her own fears to deal with and still believed she had grown so weak he might not want her at all—and she focused so much on the fact that she had actually begged for mercy when Frank hadn't. That was pretty moving.
Perhaps there should be a line break at the point in which we switched into Frank's POV… I really liked the way you showed the latter's extreme nervousness, and how bad it made him feel since he believed he ought to be more in control. It was really striking and meaningful that he went so far as to wonder whether Neville was his at all, he knew Alice would never have betrayed him with Rodolphus but the similarities still frightened him… The immediacy and intensity of Frank's reaction to Alice was really great, his assessment of her was so quick, he noticed the pretty surface things but was immediately struck by the impression of great fragility she displayed and the fact that she still bore the obvious marks of the hell she had been through, long after she should have gotten better… Their dialogue was pretty good too, very emotional and heartfelt—I loved Frank reassuring her that he was real, and her reassuring him that she didn't blame him for his escape. She was so firm and at that moment she actually seemed more solid than he was, as she focused on his feelings and on making him feel better, letting him know he oughtn't blame himself. It was interesting that they were so wrapped up in one another for a moment that Neville was a bit left on the side, and Alice had to pointedly mention him—but Frank had also focused so much on her because he feared to face Neville… At least the worries about his parentage were instantly soothed though, and it was fitting that Frank would be startled to find such an adult in his son. Neville instantly seemed to ask questions, subtly so, but we could tell he was on his guard and was assessing his father's story… And it was all the more meaningful because Frank was wary of what he was saying for as long as he wasn't positive about Neville's allegiances. The moment in which he actually asked to see his arm was quite striking, I also liked Neubert's small reaction that showed that Neville didn't quite realize that his abilities were used more than he suspected. It was interesting how the roles seemed to be switched from then on: instead of Frank being under Neville's assessment, it became Neville who had to justify himself. Just like Neubert, I was quite floored they would discuss such issues at such a time, but I also completely understood Frank's need to breach them. I was very interested in the way Neville explained the way he had come to work with Lestrange, as it will basically be your other fic… The tension was very strong in that whole part, Frank obviously wouldn't make excuses for his son for the sake of compromising and easing the atmosphere, and Neville was defensive but not defending himself, if that makes sense—he was accused, like he had expected to be as he hadn't expected his father to approve of him or be proud from the start, and although he stated his justifications, his attitude really seemed like he thought he deserved it all. Besides, Alice pretty much agreed with Frank at least about Lestrange, which you showed insightfully, not making her intervene, but just with nods and looks—it was Healer Neubert who had to intervene to state that Frank shouldn't be too harsh on Neville… Alice's abrupt reaction about her words reminding her of Lestrange's also made me wince a little for Neville, her distaste for those arguments flared immediately but that implied she was standing against the arguments that defended Neville. From the start it really seemed like Frank and Alice were siding together, understanding each other again and their son was left in the background or couldn't connect with them in the same way—preparing your ending from the very start of the meeting, in a way… And Frank thought of that already at that point, thinking Alice couldn't possibly go back, but had to stay there with him, away from Lestrange.
Thank god for Healer Neubert again, stressing once more that accusations were quite pointless and prompting them to postpone the most difficult subjects for the moment, and avoid accusations… I liked the way you showed Frank's shock at the notion that he had two grandchildren, how surreal it all seemed to him. I also enjoyed the rest of their dialogue… I loved the way you subtly showed that seeing Frank having seemingly gotten fully better made Alice feel quite inadequate again, blaming herself for being weak once more. That was quite moving. I loved the part in the apartment in which they were cooking all together, the memories it elicited in Frank, the mentioning of the picture, his noticing that Alice seemed more at ease and being sure that she could get better if she could get away and receive some proper help. It was obvious they all realized that staying would probably be the best thing for Alice, I appreciated the way you handled that talk, and Neville's acceptance, despite the sadness. The ending was very sweet for Frank and Alice, but quite sad for Neville, you really made me feel for him though I was happy for his parents as well…

It was quite interesting to see Neville's reaction to Snape's teaching, and how odd it seemed to him that he found it harder than working with Rodolphus… Your remarking on Snape being ever so encouraging made me laugh—typical! I also enjoyed Debbie's happiness and pride about her newly-discovered magic, and her requesting a broom—influenced by Roxy and Bellatrix's comment, indeed! Hannah's own joy and her pride about discussing the matter with Rodolphus was also nicely depicted, and the fact that there had actually been a case before in the family.
Neville's perception of his mother's state of depression, and his sense of frustration and hopelessness, were pretty nicely conveyed—to him it really seemed like she never got better, any progress hardly lasted for long, and there was nothing any of them could do. He was quite desperate to help her, but there was no way he could achieve that… It was very nice insight to point out that he hated to see her look vacant because it reminded him of the time when she couldn't even recognize him—really moving. You also really showed Alice's refusing to really open up to him about her mental state—and that could hardly help him feeling more useful… Her actual physical state basically confirmed his former impressions, that she wasn't getting better and he couldn't do anything to help, because the problem was in her head and the thoughts and state of mind she wouldn't leave him any access to. And he couldn't even be honest with her about it and tackle the issue, because admitting it came from her mind would make things even worse—what a catch-22!
I liked Neville's wondering whether Rodolphus was really insisting that Alice attend their meetings because of the Dark Lord, or whether he had more personal reasons… It was also interesting to see Neville's POV about Neubert and his side of the story. It was quite natural he would be intrigued, and Rodolphus quite suspicious. I really enjoyed their discussion, and Rodolphus' warnings to Neville. I also loved Alice's obvious delight at the idea of leaving to Germany, and her being concerned that Rodolphus would forbide her to go—but he really treated the two of them quite fairly, warning but leaving the decision up to them, although he sharply remarked that Alice wasn't well enough to attend a meeting with him, but could leave the country all right. It was also interesting to see that Neville had heeded Rodolphus' warnings indeed, as he found himself quite nervous before leaving…
Mary Cattermole being Mary McDonald—is this actually canon or your interpretation? Either way, it was very interesting and I enjoyed the short conversation between her and Alice. I also really liked Alice's obvious increase in liveliness, her joy at being in another country, away from Rodolphus, able to speak Voldemort's name freely (I also liked Neville's slight unease and worry at that…), able to actively do things to protect herself as well, such as the wards.
The ending part, with Alice's nightmare and the ensuing conversation, was quite powerful, it was great to see her eventually open up to her son, and also have him realize the extent of her suffering. It was fitting that Neville had assumed that Bellatrix had done the worst of the torturing, but the way Alice depicted her experience in Rodolphus' hands and his merciless behaviour, especially regarding the fact that they had gotten along well before and she had attempted to help him, was really striking and heart-wrenching. You really showed Neville's speechlessness and shock pretty well, and the fact that he suddenly understood much better the extent of his mother's trauma, and realized that the situation couldn't continue the way it was. I wonder if it wouldn't be really risky for him to come back without Alice, but the ending was still pretty good… I'm quite curious now about what happens next, with the strongly picking up plot!

I quite enjoyed your description of the hospital at the beginning of this… I also appreciated the reference to Alice, and especially the way Alice's chapter ended with Frank and Frank's began with a reference to her. Also really liked the way Frank disliked the phrasing that called him a "victim"—quite right, and showed that his fighting spirit was still very much there. And I liked the way the lifts made Frank a bit anxious, and you evoked his experience with them—quite shocking indeed. That was quite nice insight.
I was really interested in Frank's encounter with the healer… The scene was very precisely described. I appreciated the way the healer opened the dialogue by a positive remark to stress the progress Frank had already made by himself, and show that he certainly had abilities and strength, although he still couldn't quite get through on his own. Still, that wasn't enough to get Frank to relax, of course and he was still very much on his guard and quite wary. I liked the way he did feel a hint of pride at Neubert's words, and then the way he was much too proud to complain about small difficulties. "It was unworthy of a man, pure-blood and Longbottom. He didn't say that aloud of course because he knew that Healer Neubert, being none of those things might be offended."—that sentence made me snort, in a good way though ;) I liked the way Neubert picked up on that attitude, and it was clever of her to avoid arguing with him and opt to use a list of common symptoms to get him to admit which ones he was experiencing. It was only professional behaviour, of course but still quite subtle. And the way you dealt with the list of symptoms was also very interesting, both in the small relief it gave Frank since he could have been much worse after all, and in seeing that small things he wouldn't have linked to the curse actually did come from there. That part was really well handled overall, the various consequences were pretty fascinating.
Neubert's way of presenting the work they would have to do and its advantages was still quite subtle, showing that Frank would come out empowered and stronger and laying stress on his courage to show that getting help wasn't shameful at all, but something to be proud of. I also liked Frank's reaction to that and the way his rational mind won over his reluctance eventually, although he still wasn't comfortable with the idea. It was also good that there would be a delay before they could start with the therapy—all in good time—and that they could begin by working with real threats and irrational fears. It was extremely clever to use magical techniques just as Pensieves and Legilimency to help with relating traumatic events too, that really made sense. Frank's reluctance towards Legilimency was also nicely handled—of course Alice would be the exception…
I was very interested in the part about the magical damage Rodolphus' healing magic had caused, the abrupt flashback scene the subject caused was very vivid and the pain and horror there extremely sharp. I also liked the very intense and physical discomfort those memories caused in Frank, and of course he would feel ashamed of that. Indeed he wasn't ready to face that at all yet…
I liked the way you showed that the hospital offered various services to bring patients assistance, and the way Frank dismissed the group meetings and briefly acknowledged the usefulness of the rest, but immediately became intensely focused when it came to the possibility of finding his family members. That scene was also pretty well handled—Frank shooting question after question, then taking in the flow of information and all its implications—Alice's situation being better than he had ever dared think, yet still quite awful, and of course, the fact that she believed he had simply left her behind. I liked the way memories of their first meeting and the key moments of their relationship came back to mind, but then the stifling guilt that washed over him. Their feelings really mirrored one another, the love and shame and blaming themselves, thinking they'd been so weak. That was so very moving
I liked the way you showed Neubert's slight hesitation as Frank asked about her continued correspondence with Neville, and he picked up on that, of course. Frank's outrage as he heard that Rodolphus was using Neville to make communicating with Neubert easier was also quite powerfully depicted. I liked the way you worked in the part about the prison camps, and Neubert's bitter tone, stressing her personal emotions again—striking as it was so rare. It was great that Neubert offered to arrange a meeting between Frank and his wife and son, as indeed she had the possibility!
I liked the way Frank ran into people who had known his son on the Quidditch field, his remark about the children deaths as he heard about Cedric, then the way flying reminded him of his visits to the Black Manor. His thoughts about Bellatrix were very interesting, devoid of aggressivity and simply insightful. I was also fascinated by your insight on how Muggle-borns arriving into the magical world educated and questioning things despite their limited knowledge—the way you handled that evolution and showed how it could have been dealt with was very insightful. And the criticism of Dumbledore was sharp and lucid. I liked the way you closed the chapter with the information from Dean… Great job!

I liked the way you showed Alice's insight about Roderic at the beginning of this chapter, her surprise at seeing the boy laugh and her remark that she'd always seen Rodolphus being serious. I also liked the way you showed that the task with the plants was one Alice would be comfortable with, but not the Patronus one as it brought back many memories from the Order. That was very vividly and movingly conveyed, I liked the idea that they shared both their worst fears and their dreams. It was quite chilling that Alice's worst fear would be to betray secrets under torture, because it very nearly happened, and she held on, but the consequences upon her life were simply awful. James' reaction was very believable, and Marlene's was also spot-on, both intelligent and sensitive. It was clear that Marlene and Alice had been so very close and she'd been a beautiful person, and the sense of loss was all the more powerful because of that, as you showed how much she had needed and relied on her friends—all the friends she had now lost… With the Order members that remained it couldn't be the same, she wasn't close enough to them—it was a good idea to explain that, I'd forgotten a little about them because of all the plot regarding Alice, but the question of why she hadn't returned to them is a good one and you answered it quite insightfully. It was also very interesting to see that the Order had very suddenly stopped after Voldemort's downfall and Alice had felt lost and quite betrayed because of that, but she still had close friends—and Cordelia among them. I liked Alice's wondering why Cordelia had recovered completely while she hadn't, and the way you evoked the remaining consequences of the curse that might hit her all of a sudden was quite striking. Very painful and the sense of terror that accompanied them was strongly conveyed.
I liked the fact that Alice could confide in Neville about her fears, and that he was able to reassure her by telling her that he had participated in the making of the spells. It was quite fitting that Alice would blame herself, and be frustrated that she thought she had lost her former strength—and think that Neville 's reassurance was only meant to make her feel better… I liked the fact that Neville advised her to note down her symptoms to see if they could understand them better, trying to help her as actively as he could, acknowledged the fact that she'd opened up to him and showed her that it was a constructive behaviour and he appreciated it.
I really appreciated the part with Roderic—first their short encounter, his asking again to talk to her and her assuring him that she hadn't forgotten, then the lesson. It was very interesting to have Alice teach them about dark magic. I liked the fact that Francis seemed very interested and it startled her, but she told herself that it was normal that he showed curiosity. Your assessment of the difference between the two boys was so very insightful and very interesting. I liked Alice's definition of dark magic, and the very interactive way she handled the subject, having the boys find the unforgivable curses for themselves and responding to all questions, of course. The brief interlude in which mentioning the Imperius curse dragged Alice back into her own memories was quite chilling. I also like the way she clearly and openly explained how very serious the curses were, and how difficult to control such magic was—not aiming to frighten them, but talking to them like adults and making them understand. Roderic's quiet question about his own powers quite moved me, and I liked Alice's honesty and her stressing that he had control and should remember that (even if she wasn't so sure herself as she feared for what Voldemort had in mind for his future).
The zoo part was quite nice, I liked the way the boys were automatically drawn to animals that fitted their family's house, and Alice's noticing their differences in the way they described the fighting. Of course she might wonder, then, if his consciously controlling his sadistic streak meant that it was more developed or consciously embraced than he let it show… Besides, I really liked the associations of thought tiny aspects of an apparently mundane conversation made Alice triggered in Alice, about Florian Fortescue, and her negative reaction to hearing about the Lestrange household.
I was really interested by the conversation between Alice and Roderic. His embarrassment at the beginning was very strongly conveyed, and it was fitting that she would be surprised about Rodolphus actually telling Roderic the truth. I also liked the way you showed how lost Roderic felt, because this wasn't like his father as he knew him at all, and he just felt like he didn't know his parents anymore at all. But Alice was very understanding and helpful, I liked the detail of his almost smiling at her words. It was believable that he'd keep apologizing too. Roderic's comment about "You-Know-Who" was just priceless! I also liked the fact that Alice warned him that she might have negative reactions to things he said or did without meaning any wrong, but that it was due to her condition and not his fault. She was really very open to him and that was a pretty good thing as it encouraged his trusting her and being open to her in return. I liked the way he said that he still found her very brave, and she warned him against being open in his distaste of the Dark Lord… She was quite right to stress that he couldn't protect his mother and she had chosen this life, too. It was moving that although he knew it was impossible, Roderic couldn't help but state that he wished they'd get along better, and told her how he thought his father was genuinely sorry. And of course Alice felt bad for the child being stuck between them, although it wasn't really her fault and she'd only meant to help him. I liked the way she stressed the fact that he should not try to take it upon himself to fix his family's problems, but focus on himself instead.
I liked the way you showed that Alice had been afraid of attempting to cast the Patronus charm before, but she eventually decided that she needed to brace herself and try… The way you handled the scene was really meaningful, her trying memory after memory, but seeing that they were all laced with darkness and loss now. I liked the way it led her to thinking about Frank too, and it was interesting to see that she still blamed herself somehow, thought that he couldn't possibly love her anymore. That ending was so heart-wrenching—Alice crumbling and thinking she was condemned to hopelessness and despair from then on, and dreading the thought that Rodolphus might punish her for being unable to teach him. And she was so desperate everything she could do seemed senseless and pointless and like it could only make everything much worse—that was so striking, the self-hatred so vivid and violent. That ending gave me chills. Goodness…

I hope there'll be a way to get Neville and Alice to meet with Frank again (although obviously Neville won't want to leave his wife and children). Interesting to see Frank with the British refugees and starting to gain a bit more of an insight into his son. Another good chapter.

Roderic is proving to be a complex character with his propensity for cruelty and yet seeming sensitivity to Alice's position and the desire to protect his mother. I still feel that Alice needs to be careful because Roderic remains his parents' son and his loyalty will lie with them. I feel so sorry for Alice being unable to cast the Patronus Charm and considering she is unworthy to do so.

I felt real tension and growing worry for her in this chapter.

Well. Debbie's magic has shown itself in an intriguing way and possibly quite uncomfortable for her.

Voldemort using members of the family against each other is hardly surprising, but I feel Rodolphus needs to be wary of his wife's renewed interest in him.

Good chapter.