Amazing fanfic I can't wait for more!

Do more

Uhh...why is gale hawthorne in our kitchen? I liked that story, youshould add more chapters too it, it was very good!

Hello, I like the way you describe life between Katniss and Peeta, and of course their children. But I find a little hard to believe the attitude of Gale. Do not get me wrong I do not like Gale at all. But it's still hard to believe he seriously expect only have to say "Hello" to her, so that she falls into his arms surrendered, overflowing with love for him, leaving behind years of happy marriage with Peeta.

Not going to happen. So never, ever. illyara

i honestly, truthfully...LOVED IT!

Wow! Great start! I really like it and can't wait to read what happens next! Update soon:)

Um, some of it is rather OOC. I understand, original characters aren't easy to write for. You need to convince a crowd of people that this person is REAL.
I don't want to completely bash it, so I won't.
But there are a few things to think about:
1) Katniss wouldn't have a 'record deal.' She isn't portrayed like that type of person at all in the series and I think you should stick with it. It turned an okay piece into something anyone could have written.
2) I don't believe Katniss could be that hard on her daughter. Remember how hard she had it throughout her life? If anything, she could be more supportive of accomplishments her children make.
3) There are A LOT of grammatical errors. Remember: "Your sock is red. You're beautiful." And this one: "I'll always love you," he told me. "Oh, you." My lips curled into a smile.
Just little things like that say you put a lot of time and effort into your work.
4) RAPPING. God, someone shoot me. Honey, Panem didn't HAVE rap, nor did they have pop singers like we have today. This is a post- apocalyptic North America. Peeta isn't some ghetto white boy like Eminem (whom I love listening to, don't get me wrong. I love all music.) I don't even think they had music videos, going back to #1.
5) I could barely follow what was happening. Some parts were just too confusing for me to read. Use smoother transitions. Don't rush through your pieces. They won't turn out as great. Instead, take your time and appreciate each little moment and each small action. I like to think of it as weaving a tapestry. Which takes TIME.
Alright, I think that's it. But really; heed my advice. I've been writing for a while now. I was AWFUL when I first started, but I like to think I got somewhere. :) Keep writing, and pay attention to detail (Ooh, I love detail!).
-Faye