...(i dont know what to say{said nicely...it was...good})

This was good, it had some parts in it I really liked, for example, 'At this point time stands still, for just an instant, even as the univers flies past at incredible speeds. The only advice I might give is that the sentences are kind of clipped. Sometimes I think you used commas were you could have just made a complete sentence. This story has lots of good parts in it but as a whole I'm not sure it flows together very well. This is just me trying to be helpful, feel free to ignore me like most people do. I did enjoy this poem, keep writing them!