| Reviews for Harry Potter and the RAF |
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Cwhit930 chapter 1 . 6/28 I nice short story thanks for the share |
Majerus chapter 1 . 6/28 I get why you cleared the vaults and destroyed his property - you wanted him to have zero ability to sustain life in the magical world. That said, you gave zero explanation as to who did it, let alone why. "Anyone with a key." Well, that's dumbles and the Weasleys. The Weasleys were still scrimping for spare knuts in their couch cushions, so it wasn't them. So, your story is based on dumbles being a vandal as well as a base thief. I am quite on the 'dark-lord-dumbledore' bandwagon, but the vandalism simply doesn't fit his character, not in fanon and - most importantly - not in how you present him to us in your own story. In other words, you leave a huge plot hole that is impossible not to stumble into, and it left a bad taste in my mouth for several pages worth of storytelling. You waffle between Robertson and Robinson so often it's a bit dizzying, but a quick "Find & Replace" would fix that, once you settle on one or the other. The rest of the story from there is pretty darn good. I especially enjoyed the ending :) Thanks for sharing, it was a very enjoyable story. |
Amber Serpent chapter 1 . 6/7 Okay, what's with the switching of Robertson and Robinson? And the fact that Shamus isn't even the proper spelling of the name? It's Seamus. |
Rico Perrien chapter 1 . 6/3 My only point of contention is that the goblins, being the 'trusted' bankers, would be very much more interested in theft and lack of fiduciary duty where it would concern the accounts of an orphaned head of family. Here, they don't seem at all concerned about it. The ministry stealing the Black properties, I can understand. |
odonnellzoo99 chapter 1 . 6/2 A good post Hogwarts story. Thank you. |
Ame's world chapter 1 . 4/27 Excellente fanfic ! J'adore Thanks a lot |
Matthew Bigham chapter 1 . 4/14 Just a quick tip for you when talking about firearms, don’t ever have one of characters say “ok now pull the trigger.” that’s incorrect “ok now squeeze the trigger.” Reason being if you pull the trigger on a firearm the round or bullet is most likely not going to go where you want it to versus squeezing the trigger will allow the bullet to go wear your aiming at. |
Matt chapter 1 . 3/20 Okay, halfway through the story you changed Harry/Jim's last name! One sentence it was Robertson, the next it was Robinson. Can't even keep track of the names of your own characters? Come on! Give your readers a break, will ya? |
FFFudgeUp chapter 1 . 3/21 Lovely story. Perfect ending. Great job! |
Tracey Young chapter 1 . 3/14 Other than the confusing switch between Roberson and Robinson, this was a danged good story. Thank you. |
johnapple chapter 1 . 3/5 Well worth reading. Thank you. |
Queen Alana 0108 chapter 1 . 2/2 I have always felt that a lot of people got away with two many things in harry and hermione lives. |
Inferius57 chapter 1 . 11/25/2019 This was a very interesting story. I'll put it into my Zombie proof vault for safe keeping. ]-) |
angel de acuario chapter 1 . 11/23/2019 Supongo que Harry recupero su herencia |
Dementor149 chapter 1 . 9/22/2019 Thank you for this. A truly unique plot line. Voldemort being run over by a car is a real hoot, plus Snape got his just desserts too. Best wishes - Dementor149. |