Not surprised Foaly would be spying on Artemis and Holly, I'm just surprised Artemis noticed and spotted and little dot. Great stuff as usually.

Great chapter. Really shows that Artemis and Holly are met for each other.

This is good

The quote at the end says it all. Loved it, and i'm sorry you had to stop it. I really love your writing.
Well, then, see ya in the afterlife, my friend.

The ending is so randomly abrupt. Very good! I like the randomosity if it!

Sorry, but this just feels too much out of character. You should move much slower with their progression.
Foalys bug tho was really realistic :D

The kiss just happens too fast. It's just 'depressed Artemis-Butlers call-Holly's kiss', without anything else happening like Holly thinking about what to do and if she wants to reveal her feelings, a talk to Foaly, the travel to Artemis etc. Even given the fact that the time travel is tree years in the past, it's kinda hard to believe the story if it all just happens this quick.

why the cryptic line of text at the end?

I will tell you what I told multiple other people about their fanfic this is amazing but there has to be more to the story please consider writing more. :-/

If the story continues this great I might follow it or add it to my favorites

This was really good i like it but slow down slightly because its a little too fast paced. Will you still be writing this story.

quite a confession holly gave there...in most fanfics its very elaborate and takes 3-4 chapters but...LET THE ROMANCE CONTINUE.

Very good story. By the way, what kind of question is that?

Dang, this story had me at the begining, I am in LOVE with this story, please continue! ;)

The fact that Artemis and Holly admitting their feelings for each other is a really good detail to the story, but it all seems to fast-paced.