Cont. about feelings.
During that botched looking for Oro bit. Example
-Sasuke looks at his partner surprised at Naruto’s silence and the focus he is giving this search
There you see that Naruto is serious and worried and Hinata’s name wasn’t even mentioned. Of course you could have just showed him worried or talking to Sasuke about his concern or how he failed to protect Hinata. It can be done without changing your main story point. I want to see them not just going through the motions but feeling it.
You are dealing the confrontation needlessly again to the detriment of the story.
I also have to agree with the other reviewer on the point of kidnapping Hinata. Oro seems so high all the time that he acts idiotic.
I would recommend rereading what you wrote if it has been a while and you are unsure of some there are consistency issues within your story(with things characters did before and now.
Like I said it’s not all bad. You just got lost in the path of writing. Trim the excesses and get back on the path. Give the characters more feeling in their actions and you can pull it again.

Just binged the last few chapters and not sure what to think. There is a lack of focus on the protagonists that’s didsapointing. Especially Naruto. The story started fun but now seems too convoluted/going in circles and lost. I think you got lost in the too many POV & characters. The story is all over the place to its detriment.
You tagged Naruto & Hinata as the main characters, their POV should be the focus and the others extra or seen through their eyes. It Would have been interesting to see some things through their perspectives.
The impact of the one girls death would have been better if we cared more about her or if she was given a guardian that failed give some motivation to the others. She could have gotten a chapter to spotlight before her death and boom everyone sad. The same with the girl who attempted suicide and is on a coma. Then change away from those static situations.

On the detective front like others have argued, it makes no sense. You don’t have to know everything about police procedures but common sense and the logics of your world should prevail. What would be the reason to keep your agents on the dark about the disappearance of the #1 most important witness. Why doesn’t Naruto know she’s gone? Or Sasuke for that matter or any of their agents in the field? Isn’t that the priority so they can charge Oro with murder? Not just trafficking? Murder is worse and will get longer sentence (not that it matters since I have a feeling you will kill him in the confrontation). Now Naruto &Sasuke are going around like idiots without a care in the world, no sense of urgency about where could Oro’s base be, then bungle it until their oh, chucks we messed up. Opsie. That’s insulting to the characters & the readers. All the details with Shizune, Tsunade, bosses could have been handled in a couple of sentences without detracting from the action. There should be a sense of urgency to rescue this witness as others are incapacitated. But cutting the action for a-did this, b-did that c- jump off a hoop, etc is distracting and irrelevant at the time. Girl I is in a comma and K cares for her until something happens or the end of the rescue we don’t need to see her again.
Which brings us to the emotions or lack there of. From your writing the only ones to care for a girl are Suigetsu & Kiba. The rest not so much. The characters have no emotional investment. Why is the police so cavalier. Just a sentence can convey concern.

The end of this chapter throws the whole story off. She's giving him information that was previously given already. I would say you flashed back except she also provided new information that she just reviled to Naruto.
Plus the timeline is also off. This is saying the ransacking discovery and the murder happened today when it was previously established to have happened days ago.
And Hinata's personality seems off. And I don't mean off from cannon, I mean off from how you've portrayed her to be already.

I see that Tokyo Ghoul reference

Oh my God this is stupid. Orochimaru in this story is a moron and the only reason I can see that he hasn't been caught yet is complete incompetence. Hell, they can't handle something as simple as protective custody. This is a joke, do some real research and try again.

Oh nooo Hinata!

Where’s Naruto? I want to see what he’s doing to find Hinata instead of all the Tsunade & Jiraiya & Shizune stuff. At least the other guys continue to make an appearance.

Karen is a bitch of a friend & I’m more surprised nobody doubted her story or that Naruto hasn’t broken her door to talk to Karen. He should be worried out of his mind unless somehow he’s followed Suigetsu. Funny that Suigetsu has more empathy for Hinata than Karen...

Nobody’s worried their main witness is gone? Does Neji know she’s captured, does he care or is his still an ass. Does the KPD know wher they are? If saw they are very heartless. Again want to get to the action & the rescue, especially since your having Hinata tortured.

Why? I thought she was kidnapped for money to blackmail the Hyuga. What info does he need? The Jyuken? (That would be ridiculous, there are no super powers here). And if Kabuto/Oro knows she’s the witness, they would just kill her. The torture makes no sense. Maybe it’s a truth serum to get the location of the other dolls? Or her fsther’s lock combination; something that makes sense. If she doesn’t get saved before she gets turned into a junkie or is molested I will dump this. I can’t stand when authors put sexual molestation/abuse for no reason.

Again where is Naruto? When will the rescue occur?

I am kinda at the point where this story can't get any more ridiculous. First off: that isnt witness protection, witness protection is where the witness is taken far far away from where the crime they witnessed was committed, like hundreds of miles away, the other side of the country, a different country, not an agents house. Secondly: all federal government agents are taught and trained to never develop emotional attachments to witnesses otherwise the witness can be labled compromised and all their testimony is inadmissable. Thirdly: In a major drug cartel investigation all possible witnesses would be rounded up and held in a secure facility (ie. the kdea building) their personal lives would be on hold, there would be no school or social events or shogi matches, they would be kept safe and secure not left completely out in the open with a single agent per witness as escort. Fourth and final: no federal agency building could be stormed, overrun, and then evacuated by a drug cartel group like that, what you wrote was a professional navy seal or cia spec ops infiltration, which a drug cartel is not, they would have gotten through the gate and immediately been fired upon because federal agency buildings have guards around the entire perimiter not just one area, they never would have made it to the main building before being forced to take defensive positions from being fired upon by guards and agents alike. Now, all that said i understand you are trying to write a story with romance and danger and mystery, but you went about the entirely wrong way. Before writing a story like this do a little research so as to be at least a little accurate in the realities of these things.

Lucky bastard indeed Kiba...
I think that you have an interesting idea, but I think that we've been at the police station or KDEA station forever. The chapters keep going in circles. I know that's kinda what you wanted because you wanted to show a lot of different POVS, but it's confusing and repetitive.

It's so appropriate for Naruto to have a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle! It just fits him.
I can't wait to see if Naruto recognizes her ( I think he just got to Ichiraku

The only typo that I found here is that you wrote the raven haired woman when referring to Sasuke.
Nice chapie.

I think that I read a little bit of this story before, I'm so happy I found it again, because this seems so interesting and it has a lot of chapters (just the way I like it)

Shikamaru, Kiba and Neji sure do have to be careful and as vigilant as possible, seems like it was a close call with Kiba and Ino, really good chapter, can't wait to read more!

Oh no Hinata! I hope Naruto and the others are able to save her and they also need to listen to Karin! This was a really good chapter! Can't wait to see how everything comes to a conclusion! Loving it! :)

Whoa whoa whoa Karin is not a good friend... she just left Hinata there after knocking her out. I at least hopes she listens to Suigetsu so that Hinata doesnt get killed. Cant wait to see how Naruto's role will play out in all this.

I really enjoyed following this story, hope to see it back again soon! :) We'll be waiting patiently !