I love your writing style, and this story was amazing

This seems like the final chapter of a multi-chapter story rather than a oneshot. Too many questions unanswered: what happened to Cloyes? What exactly happened on the mission? You just showed Hakuro giving Ed the assignment and skipped to the aftermath.

Nicely written, just a really disappointing ending.

Great story! Well written and full of things I love. I was sad to see it end!

This is great! I love these kinds of stories. Nice job! ...does that make me a sadist? ;)

That's a compelling story fragment! Part of me wishes it could be longer, of course, to flesh out what happened, but I think you got across what you were intending in the length it was, already. Mustang's reactions were very well done, I enjoyed reading them and thought them very appropriate. Ed's were nicely in character, too. Good job, but it definitely left me wanting more!

Huh, interesting story. It's going to nag at me for a while though, not knowing exactly what it was that was going on with Cloyes. It was a sort of disconcerting ending, I'd like it if it continued, but things not getting explained also adds a strange but intriguing note to the story.

Anyway, well done on this and thanks for sharing. :)

This is such an amazing piece of writing, I hope you will consider taking it from a long one shot into a story, there's so much more that can be gained from such a wonderful piece of work.