Not a bad story.
The short chapters made it feel somewhat choppy.
Sarah besides being Jareth's wife seemed to be both with out any choice or purpose in the story.
A good story has decisions the characters must make, more than just what dress to wear.
You removed many choices, both Sarah and Jareth were trapped.
Still you not only wrote and completed it but posted it so others could enjoy your story, Thanks.

I loved the story. I could hardly stop reading it.

When Toby said that he was giving Sarah away I was going ~Aww~ in my head.

this is a wonderful story

That's terrible. I'm thankful I had a much better lecturer for my History & Theory of Drama class at uni. Good thing you still passed, though.

Something yellow? It's "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.".

Well, Toby's reaction to learning about the wedding was anticlimactic.

It should be "He could feel the loss and longing in her." and "She'd be a whole lot safer if she hadn't solved the damn labyrinth.". I also recommend taking out the "even" in "Hoggle had no idea that she wasn't even safe.". And "moved out into the and shut the door." isn't a complete sentence. I'm only mentioning these things to help you improve your story. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm being a know-it-all.

It's Sarah Williams. Also, where does her mother's name come from?

This is gonna be awesome.

Absolutely marvellous! A brilliant story filled with character, relationship and plot development! Over all a brilliant success and a simple yet sweet conclusion! Thank you very much for writing this!

This is a very well done story. I agree that many authors in the same fandom will come up with similar ideas. Another author I've read that uses a fire as a lead-in to Sarah's return is Paisley Rose in her story "The Possession." Jareth needs to be smacked frequently in that story, but he eventually gets over himself. I like what you've done here, and I'm glad that Sarah has finally recognized how she feels about Jareth. Looking forward to Jareth confronting the rebels attacking the Labyrinth. Great job.

Cynthia

I am so sorry for what you've had to go through because of a certain jacka**. I enjoy your story and believe it is your work. Please continue writing and try not to let negative people bring you into their negative world. :)

Hi there,

I just want to start by saying I am enjoying your story very much. The content is great!

I was wondering though (I mean no offense, so I'm going to apologize in advance, and hope I haven't offended you) are you an ESL student?

There have been a few points in the story where I have been down right confused by your use of language. A lot of it is fairly simple (for example in the beginning of this chapter - shined is not a word, "the sun shone softly" would be correct.

I would offer to beta for you but alas I am new to te site and do not meet the criteria as of yet.

I am enjoying where you're going with this. I just thought you should know.
Respectfully yours.

So sad to see it end. :(