This was a very good story. Keep writing, the world can never have to many work, really. :)

Aw, that was so sweet. I wish there was more :(

Grumble grumble grumble... It's your first story and you're THAT amazing? Not fair... My first story/chapter was NOT good...and still isn't good...at all. Like, I am going to go back and edit it as soon as I can.

There was even proper spacing between paragraphs! (Some new Fanfiction authors do not know how to space...)

There's a great plot, even for a one-shot! I'm a massive Jara fan, so this is pretty...awes- amazi- great. Yeah. (:

Mick is a...*insert swear words here* Though I love him with Joy, what he does to Mara is... ARRGH! THIS IS WHY SHE'S BETTER WITH JEROME!

The last two lines were...good.

UGH WHY ARE YOU SUCH A- WHY IS YOUR STORY SO- *runs off annoyed*

*you receive mail, three days later, from me* It reads...

Hey, so uh. You're kind of an amazing author, and I, uh, love it so much that I'm favoriting it.(Yeah, I know favoriting is not a word...that's not the point.)

So yeah, just wanted to let you know... so yeah, bye.(:

~Ary

WOW! That was really good! I loved it! First, DO JARA! And second, I love your word choice, it really adds to the story! I think this is a very realistic story. Mick doesn't really care about Mara, but Jerome does and looks out for her. Great job, can't wait to read more stories soon! :D

PS. The best way to improve, is to write. So hope to see more stories soon! :D

Amazing oneshot rosie. Very original, filled with details, perfect for a first fanfiction, simply exeptional! :)

Wow, that was really good! Especially for a first-time writer!

adorable. hope you write more fic on jara :)

Oh. My. Gosh.

That was amazing if not perfect!

Not only was it pretty well written, but the plot is took cute. (:

I look forward to see what other stories you have in store for us!

keep up the good work!

-Mary

I don't like Jara...but your fanfic was fantastic. You are an amazing writer.

(Aw, thank you~)

I can't wait to read your next one-shot or maybe a full multi-chapter story. :)

~Sydney

Awww, this was so sweet! I absolutely ADORED the part where Jerome was walking her home in the pouring rain :3 You're a great writer, Rosie! you should definetly write more! :)

omg that is sooo cute! it was good for your first story! very good indeed

at least it was better than MY first story...lol

ROSIE.

ROSIE.

ROSIE.

ROSIE.

Legitimately.

Oh my gosh, this is perfect.

You said everything you needed to, and in the perfect amount of words. It wasn't too long, or too short- though it was a little cliff-hangery. But it ties together nicely, even though you didn't go into detail about afterwords with Mick- I think you left off on a really nice note. :D

~Bubbles

Pretyy good once i log on i'll givr u my fulll rrviee ;)

Right now, I'm a little too lazy to log in, so~

Anyway, I loved it, like any well-written Jara story. As I have told you earlier, it's jflkasjflkjsadlkfj and that's saying a lot. I'm so proud of you ')

I love your writing style. I love your word choice. I love your last to lines, they were a great way to conclude the story, and at the same time, have the reader continue to guess on what would happen next, even if you don't plan to continue it.

I think it would benefit your writing as a whole if your paragraph lengths were more evened out, sometimes they only included a line, sometimes they included several. It's just something that takes a bit of practice, maybe you could add more detail to your shorter paragraphs to even them out.

I also think it could have been longer, I understand it's your first piece, but don't be afraid to just keep going and going and going, lengthy pieces are wonderful practice and great to read.

Keep up the good work!