Okay, so this is a really lovely little story. I think your biggest strength here is that you've managed to take a very complex narrative about AIDS, sexuality, and healthcare in the '90s and very cohesively sum up one character's experience with it and how it's shaped her views in the space of relatively very, very few words. You've fleshed out all your characters, especially Jenny, to a remarkable depth, and it was lovely to see Jenny growing and developing her own beliefs as she on several occasions speaks out or intervenes on Angel's behalf, finally seeing that culminate in her writing at the end of the fic - and both scenes of Jenny at the typewriter were very meta in the best possible way, too. Really well done!

I don't know anything about "Rent" bar a couple of parodies of the Tango Maureen I've seen in other fandoms - but in fact, because this story is written from the point of view of someone who is a complete outsider to the cast and their concerns, I don't think one needs to. And of course without any knowledge of the 'twist' in advance the story takes on a somewhat different perspective, as the reader's perception of Angel changes along with that of the protagonist.

Without any personal knowledge of nursing, I found the detail very convincing in this: it's the sort of professional slang ("staffing doesn't think they can give us more than one [nurse]", "she opened up the stopcocks all the way", "his T-cells were down, and the rest of his lab values were out of whack", "she'd had it in for Andrew since he'd arrived on the floor") that gives the impression that we're on the inside of this world looking out, and yet is sufficiently clear that we can understand what is going on without the need for clumsy exposition. I don't know what inserting a catheter involves, for instance, but it's apparent from the context that this is an intimate and humiliating procedure.

And I can really identify with Jenny's constant sleep deprivation (though round here it's more a question of huddling into the warm bits of the bed than flipping the "pillow to the cool side"!)

"If there was anything she admired about Angel and his friends, it was the devotion they had to their art" - this was one line that did puzzle me a bit, being canon-blind, since we never actually see any 'art' from Angel's visitors within the context of this story. Presumably Jenny makes observations/witnesses events that don't fall within the scope of the narrative here.

Overall this story conveys information very neatly without telegraphing it obviously to the reader: right at the beginning, for example, we have the patient's name, his sexual circles, the contrast between Jenny and Sarah, the thanklessness of the job ("having failed to bring Mr. Townsend's pain pills *exactly* at nine o'clock") and the timing of visiting hours all delivered within the space of a few sentences in the course of a natural train of thought in the narration.

Angel's 'transformation' is also very well done through Jenny's eyes (possibly especially effective for the canon-blind reader!)

"I been living with pain for a long time now. I don't want people calling me a drug-seeker for taking meds for it...judging me enough as it is..." - this tells us a lot about Angel's world and the casual use of drugs, but also hints at his identity issues.
"You're not that much out of childhood, she thought with dismay. How did a nineteen year old get this much poise?" - another elegant piece of information-dropping.

Having Jenny as an aspiring writer initially felt like a bit of an authorial insert (here's someone sitting down and writing about someone sitting down and writing 'what you know'!) but it proves very successful as a framing device for the story; since ultimately we are seeing this through Jenny's eyes, the existence of this piece is explained not as the random narrative of a stranger's death but as 'my first published article' :-(

The big theme of the story, of course, is Angel's transformation, enabled by Jenny's friendship: effectively his escape from the deadly reality of the dying boy in the hospital bed into a world where he can be the lovely woman he wants to be. (I couldn't help wondering about the practical aspect of the scene where Jenny finds him asleep on his pillow in full drag - doesn't it get messy? - and whether a mortally ill nineteen-year-old would still be able to look beautiful however heavily made-up. I assume that Collins brings in the wig...)

The pronouns start to get significant: 'she' for the Angel we see with Collins, 'he' for the patient with whom Sarah deals and whose physical signs are declining into his eventual death. I note that Jenny's earlier qualms about violating her co-workers' confidentiality have now segued into the inspiration that she can use writing as blackmail!

I actually liked the way you dealt with Sarah's hostility: not a big self-righteous scene, but effectively a compromise which gives the woman an excuse to wash her hands entirely of "the Schunard patient" and all his coterie, presumably to their mutual relief... Angel isn't the only person who isn't deprived of his dignity.

Hiya, here from RLT cuz you were nominated for a Reviewers' Choice Award. FYI, fandom blind but I don't think that will hinder me—however, please excuse any dumb comments that stem from that.

As a medical assistant student, WOW. I want to slap the ever loving hell out of that homophobic nasty Sarah for more than one reason. I feel really bad for Andrew/Angel being treated so poorly—and her partner as well. It is wonderful to see Jenny step up and be not only a caregiver but a friend as the story plays itself out. my heart broke a little to see Angel attempt to turn down the offer of much needed pain meds for the reason she stated. I had a friend who died of brittle diabetes a year ago and she was treated by rude nurses like Sarah and called a drug-seeker because of her tattoos, so this is something I can relate to in a way. :/

So Jenny is a writer too, huh? Not surprised she would try to mix in some of her real life experiences in order to attempt to seek inspiration, but of course, be VERY careful nothing is too close to the truth—lot of trouble, like she said. I do wonder if bringing Angel the cosmetic goodies would get her in trouble too—unless Angel would just fib abt where they came from. (Tho I hope she's keeping a log of Sarah's BS – THAT she can take to the boss, and with good reason!)

I like how you illustrate the chaos of busy nights at the hospital very well—been on the patient end and it can look just like that. When one is up to it, it makes for entertaining sight-seeing past one's door, heh.

OH YEA. I was hoping Jenny would call Sarah's nasty self out and she did in spades. WONDERFUL. And Jenny's got her good too—even if the boss is as homophobic as Sarah is, they can't turn a blind eye to Sarah violating patient safety and protocol. You got pwned, bitch. :P

How sad that Angel died, but I am guessing her death was canon. And it is sad but fitting that Jenny found her inspiration in Angel's story, but it is also a way that Angel's memory can live on—and, if Jenny gets published, that changes can be made.

Well done.

Hi there and congratulations on your story being nominated for Best Family/Friendship in the Reviewers Choice Awards being held at the Reviews Lounge, Too!

This piece is just (censored) awesome. Not many stories can bring me to tears, but this piece did. I only know Rent by the name, I've absolutely zero fandom knowledge beyond that I am afraid. However, you don't need it here. You do a rather impressive job of making this piece reader friendly by just giving away the right amount of information.

This opening line here: (("Filthy queers," muttered Sarah, glaring darkly at Room 209.)) was a powerful way to open the story. I disliked Sarah instantly after reading this line of verbal garbage from her. However it completely sets the time of the piece quite nicely. Clearly, this is the early days of AIDS and when it was viewed as a disease that only hit homosexual people. Sarah is reacting to that idea and taking her personal views out upon the people who are in room 209. That the person is sick and dying doesn't matter to her...they are a deviant and deserve what they have gotten.

This line here: (("And I don't want to die so hopped up on medication that I don't know which is the ceiling and which is the floor.")) is something I can see anybody in Angel's position as thinking and feeling. There's already so much she is going through physically that she just some dignity and a clear head while she lives her final days.

I thought that the way you represented how Collins ((...smile was genuine, but his eyes were tight.)) was happy to see his Angel as his Angel one final time was fantastic and such a poignant memory for him to have before the end comes. Death is inevitable but rather than misery and the pallid face of a loved one ravaged by illness, he sees Angel as he will always and forever remember her. I also love how Jenny recognizes that while Collins is happy to see Angel in her glory, she knows it is only a ((Surface happiness,)) caused by ((surface interactions,)). She easily recognizes it is a mask and that beneath it all Collins is ((...alone and scared down deep.)) about the future and a life without his Angel.

I seriously started tearing up here: ((Angel's lab results had come back near the end of her shift last night; his T-cells were down, and the rest of his lab values were out of whack. It was nearing time.)) because while it is unthinkable and impossible, you want to see a miracle happen and see Angel get better. I knew the end was coming and thought it was beautiful and tragic. You didn't wax on about Angel's death, or push the angst factor. The scene with Collins was short and bittersweet and conveyed everything wonderfully.

I thought this: (("The Rights of Angels," she typed. "One person's struggle with AIDS, and the healthcare system that needs to change.")) was the perfect memorial to Angel and an excellent way to close this piece. You perfectly sum up what the piece is about and how a change needs to occur. People like Angel absolutely deserve the same compassion and care from their nurses and doctors that other patients with a terminal illness would receive.

In all, this was a wonderfully tragic and beautiful piece. Fantabulous job!

Hi, GoldenRoya! Rhino here –hugs- I am completely fandom blind, so please forgive me any canon ignorance.
This story caught my eye because it is primarily one of prejudice and discrimination. As a person who lives with a disability, I relate very closely with both Angel and Collins. I relate to Angel not only because I have been forced to spend many nights in hospital without my loved ones around me, but because I have been emotionally and psychologically abused by people like Sarah. I relate to Collins because I spent a long time bowing to the authorities (like Collins did every time he left when Sarah told him to) and doing things just because I was told to, rather than because it was what I wanted to do or because it was the best thing for my loved one.
Thank goodness there are people in the world like Jenny who not only act against against bigotry and hatred, but show us how to do it for ourselves and hold our hands as we learn to stand up for ourselves.
This is a beautiful story.

Hey! I found this because you posted a link to it on the NaNoWriMo group on Facebook earlier tonight. I'm a member of the group as well, and I'm always interested in reading what my fellow NaNo-ers are up to in the writing world other than participating in NaNo.

After that long intro, all I want to tell you is that I liked reading your story.

Essy

Hello there :) quite canon blind to Rent, I'm afraid, but I will certainly do my best for you!

I'll tell you, what caught my eye immediately about this piece was Jenny. My parents are nurses and I've grown up being around the medical field and man, did my heart go out to her for her 'crisis'. In my mind's eye, Jenny already strikes me as a good nurse, someone who maybe gets a little behind with taking care of a patient but is trying her best. Dang, I'm not even a paragraph into the story and I'm already pulling a McDonald's and loving what I'm seeing :)

On a side note, Sarah needs to go take a long walk off a short peer for that opening comment /just saying.

["Thank you ma'am] this line of dialogue confused me because I thought it was coming from one of Andrew's visitors, but with the way it's structured, it looks like it's coming from Sarah? I'll just assume the first and move on!

Ugh Sarah, could you be anymore rude, I swear. Makes me want to smack her (and report her to the charge nurse). Speaking of the charge nurse, oh hey there! Staying overnight after working a day shift? Wow, Jenny's got some stamina about her and it says something about her character that she's even willing to stay in the first place. If I was her, I would be like 'peace out, homes'. Good for her for being the better woman.

Oh Jenny you deserve a thousand and one hugs for seeing past Angel's cover and wanting to control whatever pain you see despite his protest. That *points* is a damn good nurse.

I like how we get an aside with Jenny struggling to write something. It's a good show of she's not only a nurse, a medically-mind individual, but that she's also creative and has an ability to read between the lines when the occasion calls for it. I hope one day she gets something published, this sweet girl deserves a break.

I never cry at fanfiction. Ever. EVER. And you, this morning as I sit here typing this review, broke that streak with this scene of Jenny bringing Angel makeup. I wish I could put into words every sort of feel that went through me at this scene - from just her thought of what would make him happy to his reaction and gusto- and I simply...can't. Just trust me when I say that this scene is the most touching one I've ever read. Thank you. Just thank you. And the resulting transformation was just beautiful, like a butterfly that had come out of its cocoon.

YUSS JENNY STOOD UP TO SARAH! *applause* about damn time! I was just about to ask what Sarah's beef was with visiting hours (then I remembered that this story might've taken place many moons ago when visitors weren't allowed throughout the night) but yay for policy and justice and all the things! You go Jenny!

In the end, Angel's death made a difference. I certainly hope that people took her story into account and changed some laws and rules to accommodate everyone. If they didn't, they thus need to be kicked in the head *nods* family is family, blood or none to show for it.

Thank you for writing this, and I'm so sorry that I gushed about feelz and stuff so much. Favs list for sure and an extra pimping from whoever will listen! See you later!

Although I’ve never seen Rent, I was intrigued by the summary of this story, so I stopped by to read it.

“Filthy queers…” I remember the early days of the AIDS epidemic, the horrible things that were said from person to person without regards to the humanity of the afflicted. I guess that’s why I was drawn to your piece.

“Visiting hours are over…” I get an immediate feeling that you are a nurse or other health care professional and from the very beginning that makes me willing to take a journey with you and trust what comes ahead with only my knowledge as an occasional patient to guide me.

“….would you mind staying overnight?” It is always the good people, who are willing to take extra shifts that have the extra shifts dumped on them time and time again.

“…didn’t get the point she was trying to make…” people like that… rrr, they infuriate me, but she’s a great villain for this piece. I don’t know if she’s canon or your original, but thank you for giving me someone to be annoyed at right away. She’s a “great” antagonist and a great foil for your protagonist.

Angel and I share the same dislike of pain meds. I immediately empathized with that. On top of that, my brother is transgender, so I loved the fact that Jenny treats Angel as a “she” as soon as she understands her world.

Bringing Angel the beauty supplies was such a sweet, compassionate thing to do! I wish that there were more nurses like her, and less like the ones I’ve run into.

Jenny as a frustrated writer is a great way for the readers (at least here on fanfic) to feel like part of the story themselves. Every writer (of a certain age) has had one of those moments of tearing the paper out of the typewriter in disgust (or deleting a line of text for the same reason) and that dated the piece very effectively, reminding us that we are not talking about the current age.

The fact that Angel died as she lived was the triumph of this piece.

Thank you for taking on such a difficult challenge and for writing such a sensitive piece. Bravo!

Very well done.

I was initially thrown by your calling Angel "Andrew" in this, but you used the name to make a point, and did so very effectively. In the end, I must applaud.
I was just a kid/teen in the 90's, but my mother worked as an ER nurse at that time, and she used to bring home stories. No names of course- nothing that could be used to identify someone. In any case, based on what I know from her, everything in here seemed very real.
I keep going back and forth on your use of "sphygmomanometer." On the one hand, I had no trouble recognizing it. It is a word my mom often used, so I have no trouble believing Jenny would use it. However, I'm not sure all your readers would know offhand what it is. For their sake, you may want to consider changing it to blood pressure cuff. Also, after reading the word sphymomanometer, I was a bit surprised to see you describe the heartbeat as a "bump" sound. I was expecting "lub dub." I can hear what you mean in my mind's ear when you say "bump," but at the same time, I would have been more satisfied with "lub dub." My two cents.

Hi :) only marginally familiar with Rent, but I'll give this one a go.

First things first: I totally get why you felt like you had to write a disclaimer for Sarah's language and a few other things. That said, I don't think you're doing your fic any favours by having such a long A/N at the top... readers, even me, are extremely lazy creatures and may just give up before they even start the story. As such I'd put the A/N at the bottom and make it as short as possible. Most people in the fandom will know that things like "filthy queers" are the character and not you.

"Visiting hours are over..." I was quite confused by this paragraph, not being sure if Sarah was speaking every line or not and not following the process very well. If it were mine, I'd be tempted to reformat for clarity.

The part about the catheter was brutal. Very harrowing and well done.

"He's your..." I remember having similar embarrassed confusion when I wasn't sure whether two married gay men would use the word "husband" or not. Angel's poise there is great.

"The real me" had me grinning like a stupid loon :) But also very sad.

Jenny's pwning of Sarah was satisfying, but... and not in the least agreeing with homophobia or knowing what happens in canon... it did seem like a bit of a Zorro black vs white moment, and I was a little disappointed that Sarah was only ever portrayed as a vile, hissing villain with no redeemable qualities whatsoever. Though I suppose those do exist in real life.

It might have been cumulative, but I thought the report of Angel's death was a bit of an emotional overload- I felt kind of numb. "This day, this hour" was great, but dying in Collin's arms and the murmured endearments... didn't quite work for me. It's an ideal death (if such a thing exists) but I'm not totally sure I... believed it? Or something. Anyway, YMMV.

Very beautiful work, though. As an aside, I might take the healthcare and social stuff out of the summary, as it's a bit cluttery; but I'm glad I read this x

This small series of little vignettes that comprise the saga of the last days of Angel, a character that until now I had no clue existed, has taken me inside that world so deeply that I do not leave it quite the same as I've entered. Without being heavy handed, which would have killed the message, you portrayed Angel and her relationship with Collins and her performance as a drag queen in as natural of a light that it truly should be, because although it is a different, uncommon path to take, a unique type of person to be, it is natural and it is human all the same. I appreciate how you portrayed Jenny as, initially, apprehensive, since this is still the 90s in the story, and even if it wasn't, the world and even America hasn't gotten to the point of seeing this without a stigma just yet. Angel truly was a character that never lost their dignity despite their decline, and I loved how you selected only her divine moments, the ones that showed her inner and outer beauty, as the ones remembered. Pain is temporary but the beautiful moments are immortal.

Brilliant work.

I cannot afford to cry right now. I'm in the science lab, supposed to be doing a report on fruit fly genetics. Tears would give me away. But this was beautiful and I almost cried.

I also loved the commentary on the health care system and hospital politics.

Beautiful, the end made me cry

That was one of the most beautifully written one-shots i've ever read. It had me in tears by the end, which is a pretty rare thing from me.

Wow. All I can say is "Wow". This fanfic was just.. beautiful I loved it so much! I cried through it. You did an amazing job and this is very well written.