I wanna know what happens next!

WHY?! SUCH A GOOD STORY! I WANT TO READ MOREPLEASEEEEEEEE
*cries in spanish because she is from mexico*

This is great! I hope you continue it someday. Merry Christmas!

ur a nerd

Aaargg! This is too amazing to leave unfinished!

Ummm...Brotherly love?

this is getting really interesting i can't wait til the next chapter XD

this is one of the stories that makes my heart go crazy.
I know you didn't update 2 years already but please update !
I really need to know what will happen next !

please update ;-;

Noooooooo! Why? Why would you leave us on a huge cliffhanger? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? ;_; Part of me needs Feliciano to get kidnapped soooooooooooo bad! Ugh...

Continue? For the reviewers? Please?

ArrivederLa!

so...interesting...want more...please... *grins*Really it was great! please Continue!

OMG! SOOO KEWL!...I love it! update...please?

part of me wants feli to get kidnapped by lovi

wow, I'm surprise that this doesn't have much review for a nice story.. Update soon :) this is nice...I would love to see how Feli will react.

I wanted to read this since the synopsis sounds pretty cool, but your format needs some serious work. There's absolutely no reason that a rather large amount of this isn't all compacted into some pretty decently sized paragraphs. Also, having your characters standing around in some void without moving while they speak is extremely distracting.

Take this, for example:

"Yo, whuddup Jane?" Jack said.

"Sup, brah." Jane said.

"Let's go hit that cool new arcade down the street!"

"Cool."

Now, let's work that out of it's 'skeletal planning' stage, shall we? Here's the same conversation:

"Yo," Jake called out loudly through the patchwork of sound that was New York City, "whuddup Jane?"

The petite yet devilishly 'street' women nodded his way with a small smirk stretching her lips, "Sup, brah."

"Let's hit that cool new arcade down the street!" Jake took a moment to strike up a kind of 'tough guy' posturing to try and mask his embarrassment as he sputtered out his request.

"Cool."

See? That's a really basic example, but you get the jist. It's much more rewarding to watch these people have a moment in a world with more than bones. Fleshing out the world that they're living in, their basic personalities, and a small poke at their relationship was attainable in only a few short sentences, and it was really very easy.

You need to put a lot more effort into explaining where they are and what they're doing before this can actually be considered 'readable'. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but you have to agree that reading something like this:

The dog by the street lamp was black.

It got up and walked away in search of food. A small boy saw it and pointed.

"Look! A dog!"

He yelled loudly.

Is a hell of a lot more tiring than reading something like this:

The dog by the street lamp was black. It got up and walked away in search of food. A small boy saw it and pointed.

"Look! A dog!" He yelled loudly.

It still sounds crappy because I'm not going to sit here and pump out something top-notch, but it sounds just slightly LESS crappy than the first example. It's also easier on the eyes.

I'd love to read this, so if you had any intent to fix it I'll be excited to hop on board.

AHHH! UPDATE! NOW!