Updated please, please

Update soon...

I LOVE this story! Please update soon!1

That was so sweet! And cool! Bree has a gift.

really interesting gift! very well done chapter, just hope she can stop Fred!

I love the home schooling idea, I love that even with vampire brains and recall, Bree has trouble with geometry and is suffering with her thirst. I like her ideas for her room and the ideas Alice has for getting it accomplished.

The end of the chapter is really inventive.

just re-read once lookng for little spelling and other errors.

very well done!

really enjoyable chapter. But, coming and going through the window? really? what happened to all that civility the Cullens are famous for? They do have doors, right? :)

Oh, and be careful of spelling... "youthful" not youth full, and "through" not throw (as in throw the window).

good job!

good chapter with only a couple things to point out: Fred says "I haven't even seen their house yet! More or less their whole coven." Probably should say "much less their..."

and then, just when I was complimenting you a couple chapters ago on your doing a good job of NOT copying straight from the book, and here you did just that when describing the house... :(

I really enjoyed the banter between Bree and Fred. I like acceptance they are experiencing - for the most part, too.

Oh no! you did it... You used the word "defiantly" incorrectly! The word you want is "definitely"! Please please learn the correct spelling of that word? Take a minute to go look up the meaning of "defiantly", you'll see why this is one of my pet peeves. Oh and remember to watch the uses of "there", "their" and "they're", you have them right sometimes, but not always so be careful.

cute story and well done, good for you for writing Bree's point of view without completely copying from the original (something that really irritates me!). You need to go back and re-read the chapters or have someone else do that for you (a Beta reader) because there are a few spelling or word use mistakes in the chapters. I'll mention a couple in my reviews.

1) when Alice leaves the clearing it says "raced into the forest just."; just should be deleted or sentence finished.

2) next sentence says "numbly wonder how she could" should say wondered

keep up the good work.

I personally like Fred. I also really like Bree's gift! Neat idea!

Das ist gut! Ich liebe diese Geschichte! Du bist super toll! Ich danke Ihnen für diese Geschichte!

Sorry for my Germanese, studying and reading ff at the same time! I like this, carry on and update soon!

Your Lillipop xxx

Can you not make Fred stay long? I personally think he's a bit of a nuisance and he should live a solitary life, with a visit or two. Great story, anyway.

Cool chapter I think it's awsome, i also think Fred should leave soon.