This is excellent! I am really hoping for a sequel too!

I think that you should write a squal where it shows how Susan begins to become the white witch just as evil as her. I think that this should be some time after the last battle because Susan abadened Narnia around that time and wanted to stop believing in it. I think that Jadis should smile as she takes Susan soul and body and takes it for her own turning her into the new white witch and being reborn. I think that Susan should begin to become more evil once the transformation is over her skin should be like Ice her hands hold the witch's wand her eyes hold nothing but evil. I think that Peter should see Susan in heven horrifed by what the white witch has done to his sister and know that he most save her from this darkness. I think that Jadis should return to Narnia with Susan who is now competely under her control because ice comes from her feat and her eyes are just as cold as Jadis. I think that the other Pervenices should be horrfied when they see Susan because she looks nothing like how they remeber her heir is still dark but will have hints of blonde in it, her eyes will be broweney blue and her skin will look like ice with none of the unseal wormth that Susan is knowen for. I think that Susan should let out an evil smile as she looks at her family now free of her former human side she should ambrace the darkness of the white witch and will have given in to evil. I think that Aslan should lunch himself at the witch to try and free Susan from Jadis control but because Susan did it with her own Will she will be lost and there is no way that Aslan can free her from the darkness. I think that Jadis should slam her wand into the ground refreazing Narnia so that she can regain control of the land and make it herown again. I think that Lucy should be esspicley horrifed that her sister would give into the witchs evil and know that she is the only one that can free her and stop the witch. I think that Susan should force Peter, Edmand and Aslan back with her power and face Lucy alone who will have her dagger out to try and stop Susan who will knock it out of her hand and grasp her sister's neck holding her with her ice cold grasp ready to kill her.

The line "you're not a queen here, are you, sweet?" just keeps ringing through my mind. I can just imagine Jadis saying it so calmly with mock sympathy. I think you captured the White Witch perfectly. This story also makes me hate Susan a little less. I was so angry at her for renouncing Narnia!

Is it just me or do you tend to write depressing things?

I adore angst ridden susan stories. This was brilliant. I like how jadis aka devil was susans downfall, and I'm assuming the reason she wasn't let back into narnia

Wow. I INSPIRED SOMEONE? Well, half-inspired someone? Amazing!

I don't really mind about the name, since most of my Queen's Downfall stuff was done under my old penname anyways. P

Again, thanks! It gives me a damn good ego boost.

*adds to her community* Notifying, because FF doesn't.

Nice.(;

God i love this series. Oh Susan... *shakes head.* I like to pretend that she didn't go to he'll in the end... Though she never was the strongest of the four. It's nice to see you write for a new category... I don't read much Narnia. Great job, as usual.