Deathfics are not really my thing, but just wanted to say this was very well written. Almost made me cry.

This is beautifully tragic. Lovely work, dear. ;_;

I'm a little taken aback. There was almost nothing uplifting about this story at all. But that's good. It shows your versatility as a writer. And I have to say, I'm impressed by all of the emotion you put into it, none of which was melodramatic or forced. It all felt very real, especially Ursa's lack of forgiveness. She wanted more than anything for her family to be mended, and Zuko not only refused to give it to her, he broke it apart even further (though not out of malice, but out of a sense of necessity... neither justifiable nor condemnable; he had the hardest decision of all). The idea was well-executed!

One thing you might want to change is the use of "moron" at the end; I know you meant "mourn". Other than that, very solid writing, and I'm always looking forward to new works from you.

That was beautiful. Well done.

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I really liked this! Well done and very emotional.

I liked Ursa, Azula, and Oazi's parts the best.

Ursa's Part-

Ursa's sorrow comes through really well, especialy with your soft, sweet word choice. At first, the way Ursa described her daughter made me think she was already dead. Maybe this was intentional, and if so, well done! I've never heard live Azula described with 'thin', 'hollow', or 'weak' before and it worked so well here. So sad!

Azula's Part-

The word choice here makes Azula sound so young, so helpless, and so alone. I have a feeling this was intended and I love it. 'She can see her mother and father.' makes me think 'from far away' almost. :)

'Her uncle visits and tells her stories; she acts like she doesn't listen, but she does. He gives her tea and calms her mind for mere minutes. He tells her he is sorry for not giving her a chance and that she could have been great.' I like this a lot, as it backs up what I said about the way she seems young. The part about the stories is perfect, as is the way he calms her mind. Aw! :)

'She speaks to him only once: "I was great, just not how you envision greatness." Pitch-perfect! The layout of this piece really packs a punch.

'Her mother visits and holds her, saying loving words and whispering sorries. She accepts them and loves the sound of her mother's voice. It is one of the last things she will ever hear.' The way Azula is held and loves the sound of her mother's voice makes me think 'baby' which is a lovely thing. So well done, that. The use of the word 'sorries' is amazingly wonderful. Wow. Just. Wow.

The use of 'She will forgive' really adds so much depth to the ending lines. I love it all!

Oazi's Part-

I really like the weather report, as I think this is the sort of thing a dying man would be thankful for. Very solemn.

So sweet how he wanted to go first. For her sake.

Poor man doesn't know how to articulate how he feels and then he sees Iroh and Ursa.

It was nice, if surprising, what he said to Iroh. He thanks him!

I LOVE the way he says simply that Ursa is beautiful and visits him. Like those go together somehow.

I enjoy the shortness of the sentences at the end of Oazi's life. The part with sound was great: the whistle of the knife, the tune of death, the first and last time Azula will hear his words.

The best lines ever: The first and last time she will hear it from him. A whistle in the air. A knife coming down. He closes his eyes and listens to death.

Zuko's last part was awesome as well. His comment about the rain and lightning shows he does care and mourns them in his own way. I love his knowledge and consideration of his people.

Not only do I love this line, I also adore the use of great to mean 'powerful' rather than benevolent: Lightning was their thing, what made them great.

Intriguing to hear' the royal family stands for everything'.

Cool,fitting vases for their ahses!

I liked how you used dialog sparringly, so that each time they speak, it means something big. So beautiful, all of it!

Grade: High A and a Favorite