While I admit I'm not a fan of scene retellings anymore, I wanted to leave a review just to show support for a fellow TPoB fanfic author. Your writing style is wonderful. I think it takes a lot of skill to write a oneshot; I can't do it. I am curious, though, have you thought of writing a fic that takes place outside of the book's storyline (like a prequel or sequel)? I bet you'd be great! Happy writing! _

This is really lovely. I could tell from the very beginning that you knew this work well and had the characters down pat. This is exactly the kind of thought Rhys would have been thinking at that moment: "Humans died so young; it was such a shame." There were lots of other little details too that showed you knew the story well. Given that it's the same scene, same dialogue and everything, I can tell that you had the book in front of you (I just reread this scene last night, so I remember the dialogue), but there was more; it was obvious you had a feel for the characters. I liked to see Rhys comment on her drab clothing as well. You did an amazing job of showing that he's mildly attracted without making it ridiculous or unrealistic. His thinking about her prettiness and his obvious eagerness to please and interest her ("He paused, waiting to see if she would say anything"; "He gave her another smile, hoping he didn't sound like he was rambling") are just enough. Perfect. The fear that he might seem to be rambling was rather endearing. :)
If I had any complaints to make, it's that this scene is so exactly like what's in the book except for its being Rhys's POV. I didn't really learn anything new about him from this, which is what a work like this has the opportunity to do. It's not necessary that you add to it, but it's something to consider, at least.
Thanks for taking the time to write something lovely in this woefully under-represented fandom. :) I've recently created a forum for writers of little-known fandoms. If you'd like someone to talk Mrs. Levine with and hopefully eventually get some other people interested in this piece, you're welcome to come on over. Just remove the spaces here: www. fanfiction forum /The-Plight -of-the- Little-Known-Fandom /178 363/

Omgush, this is too cute for words! I wanna find this book and read the whole story now xD I'm probably not good at leaving critiques so I'll just say; you can really picture the characters and what their personalities are like. I definitely believe this story is well written. And just from this short passage I think Rhys is a cute character.

Hey! I just now discovered this fic and I love it! Really fantastic! You totally understand the characters. Really really nice job. :)

I think it was very good! you should write more! although i thought she was a bit older than twelve?

This really is a lovely short. You ought to write others in Rhys's view, like, oh I don't know... the scene in which Rhys confesses...? ;)

I really loved this! I thought you did an amazing job with Rhys's character. No matter how old I am, I will never stop loving this book. :) Have you ever considered doing anything more with this book? Because it would be really awesome if you did!

Lovley I would love it if you wrote like an epilogue to the story with rhys' pov! Thanks for writing this story! :D

The two princesses of Bamarre is one of my favorite books!Keep writing!

I love this book

Nice job! However, I notice you don't tell us much of what he is thinking...I dunno. I haven't read the book in a while...

Very good fanfic! :) You did an amazing job writing this!

An absolutely lovely story; I'm so glad I found it! You did a great job inter-weaving Levine's dialog with Rhys's inner musings.

There needs to be more Bamarre fics out there so I beseech you to write some more! I thoroughly enjoyed this work and wish to read more from you.

I was just rereading Two Princesses of Bamarre today and reflecting on when exactly Rhys fell in love with Addie. So its funny I should find your fanfic! I like how you portrayed it - because he must have merely liked her on their first meeting. (a 17 year old [in human years] is MUCH TOO OLD for a 12 year old girl). They were probably just friends...at first. Thanks for writing!

~YIEQ

aww this is cute :) i love love love this story! there aren't enough "two princesses" stories on fanfiction, so this is great. write more, i'd love to read it!