Interesting start

Sequel please

Thank you for sharing your hard work and passion with us. I recognize that this work is several years finished, but I wanted to encourage you in your continued efforts.
i couldn't get past chapter 8. If, by chapter 8, I cannot care about the lead character and find her a macguffin lackwit who would not be desirable except for her secret pedigree and a magical soulmate, then there's no point in reading more. Several stylistic choices kept me from liking your Bella and enjoying your work further. There was no lead in time to the romance where we see who the characters are before they are "together," just as there was no lead up or gradual unravelling of the mysteries she just encountered. Instead, she has it all given to her in a giant meeting where she had a mental break and became a gibbering mess that is then praised for handling the meeting better than they thought. This characterization of Bella is not the best possible choice, and it so seriously detracts from the interesting story aspects you've introduced (Jasper soulmate, Elf heir, Volturi inclusion, etc) that I really cannot stomach finishing the story. I hope to encounter some of your other works soon because your ideas are interesting. Wishing you every good thing.

this sure is a lot easier to read now that it's been beta'd. it's a good story.

Your use of OSM is annoying as all hell. Your grammar needs work and you have a very bad habit of using the wrong words (even if it's spelled right, it can still be wrong). This story has a lot of potential but it needs to be edited. I honestly feel the character Aaron needs to be re-worked, he is a fucking class A asshole. If I was Bella, I would have punched the fucker. Granted that could have been your intention but he is a Mary-sue asshole.

When there are grammatical errors in the very first sentence, it is pointless to continue. A beta, darling, please get one.

Um. I have one question. How old are you?

Such a difficult piece to read. Sentence construction and grammar is so poor. I wish this went through a heavy-handed beta cause I’d love to read a Twilight reworked with a J/B pairing. So unfortunate.

So he just knock her up on her birthday thanks to more fuckery of her grandfather.
Chapter18.

So he just knock her up on her birthday thanks to more fuckery of her grandfather.
Chapter18.

So he just knock her up on her birthday thanks to more fuckery of her grandfather.
Chapter18.

They must have been..
Parental sex not sex is what every male, female couple has.
So many mistakes ,so little time to fix them and enjoy the story.

Wheld a sword
Might actually get to work that theory...
That assumption would be most astute
Chapter15.
It is entire time.
Bella is so whiny wish she would grow up .
Audible gasp.
What is a horrible look of disappear?
Denali coven,seriously.
Quiet conversations.
Thick purple liquid.
Her reign be fruitful.

It is throne.
My cheek.
Single one.
Get us to do.
If he doesn't do...
Chapter 14

Why would he inject pain meds into a morphine drip is he trying to kill her?
Was that other elf/human mated to Eddies twin brother?
Peace and quiet.
You've got to be kidding me.
Lift her head up off...
We'll be up stairs.
occurred to me.
Our strength starts to wane or weaken.
I'd end up waiting until I was literally ready.
Come on,it is Denali,did you even read the books?