This triangle made Ryou almost acceptable -yeah, I don't really like him. I'm even a bit sorry for him, he had a very altruist behaviour, while usually Retasu is the unselfish one... Nice to read something different sometimes, I thought this could irritate me, while I really liked it! Maybe you're the only one who managed to make me read about Ryou xD

Wow, your writing is so amazing! This was so funny, Pai is amazing when you write him as drunk!

Haha, I like this... besides the gay part but nothing wrong with that. I love your writing, it is so descriptive and I love how you use good wording and such.

My fav part:

Fuck off, I'm thinking about Retasu!

Haha

loved the story make a story wher Pai said she's salty, like the sea… or maybe that's just when he had sex plzzz make a story it would make me happy thx

Wow. Just... wow. And to think I wouldn't have found this if I wasn't in the mood to read something yaoi-ish! Drunk Pai is hilarious, and Ryou was in character but there was a thin line which you could have crossed to make him out of character. So be careful. Nice to explain his not liking Retasu with 'I'm gay'. Good concept. Overall it was a good story.

I'd say this is one of your best. While I love Dust and Sand and Ghost Story dearly, they are a bit wallowing, whereas this was much more finely judged. On the surface it's all, 'lol, Pai's drunk, he's burbling, he's being awkward with Ryou,' but then you read it some more and you're like, 'wait. This is HEARTRENDING.' My first couple of PxLs show Lettuce madly in love with Pai and then him sweeping her off her feet, but since then my view of the pairing has reversed, and I see Pai as the one who's deeply in love, and Lettuce growing to return his love, or even preferring Ryou. Therefore the way you showed the relationships here was both plausible and powerful.

As to OOC-ness - well, I don't think there was any. I could imagine Lettuce's confusion clearly, even though we only heard Pai's account of it - often it's just residual feeling - 'Ryou was my first crush, I never had a chance to be with him so I can't let it go' - which makes it plausible that she would like Pai enough to have sex with him, start crying about Ryou and then get together with Pai by the end of the fic. A final letting-go. I see what you mean now about happy endings, by the way, and I'm super-glad that you focussed it on Pai and Lettuce enough to let them resolve the relationship.

Now I don't know why I found Ryou being gay OOC, since I ship him with Keiichiro. Maybe it's because I always saw his liking for Ichigo as red-blooded and real, rather than a denial - but I have no quarrel with his sexuality in this fic, and it's really not about his relationship with Ichigo, so a little tweaking is permitted. I'd say that he was the perfect character to write in the POV of for capturing that comic/tragic tone that I mentioned before, since Ryou is rather dry and dispassionate, but not without feeling. So far, so IC. And Pai, well - so many drunk fics are cliched, annoying, whatever, but I liked the way you wrote this one. I've always believed that Pai has a lot more passion and feeling stored up inside than he normally expresses - 'how dare you insult Deep Blue-sama, you bastard!' anyone? He really cares about some things - and having him drunk was a good way to get him talking. It was a nice balance between getting to see him burbling and using slang and having him IC - he was still grumpy, taciturn and misanthropic, just a little more verbose than usual. "Fuck off. I'm thinking of Retasu." That line is so cute and petulant and passionate at the same time. Even when she's hurt him so badly, he still wants to just focus on her. And of course I always cheer for positive descriptions of Lettuce in general, because she is my sympathetic character.

A couple of issues. I think this sentence ran away with you a bit: 'Deciding that if Pai were at the point of actually expressing himself, he clearly must have been so wasted that a little more alcohol wouldn't really make a difference.' I don't know what the technical term for this is, but basically you haven't got anybody doing the verb. It should be 'deciding...blah blah blah, Ryou...blah blah blah.' It's a clause without the rest of it's sentence, basically. I'm sure you'll see what's wrong with it as soon as you read it. And I'm not convinced by this cloning business - wouldn't they still need some sexual reproduction, because otherwise they wouldn't have genetic variation and they'd die out. Unless they know about cloning but don't know about genetic variation yet. In which case, suck it up, 'superior species!'

True

Ryou and Pai paired with each other... hmm... it intrigues me... You ma'am *or sir I'm sure there's male TMM fans XD* have given me a pairing to delve into the fandom of...

Good fanfic by the way X3

A drunk Pai is always a fun Pai lol

And yay for LettuceXPainess X3