I like! Not much plot, but even better porn :D And just the right amount of sweetness with the 'I love...' at the end!:)

Lovely story, full of sex, ending in romance. Those are always the best kind!

Okay, so I definitely legit "awwwed" at the end.

There were a good number of places where sentences could be reworded to be clearer and some minor typos if I remember correctly, also some pronoun/antecedant confusion. It didn't take much from the story, but clearer is always always better.

Luckily, you don't have twenty million reviews yet to prove how awesome you are so you HAVE to listen to my advice.

The sex was decent. For a PWP it was a little on the thought/blahblah side and lacked much description. It worked here. I think a bit more could have been added though.

Interesting POV change. I notice that legitimate authors don't usually do a lot of POV changes in books and that causes me to wonder if its a bad habit for ffn but it was pretty decent here. Not like this is meant for a book anyway.

Its sweeter and more thoughtful than it has a right to be, being a pwp and all. And that's the best compliment you'll tear from me.

LOVE!Its so sweet and realistically awkward and just SQUEEE!

*clears throat* Ahem. Small fangirl moment there. Apologies.

Oh who cares if drarry isn't technically possible? This, my dear author/authoress, is. What. Fanfiction. Is. For. You've done it beautifully. I believed every second of it. Your writing style is brilliant, and I'm already a fan. Please make me happy and write more!

Well, after masturbating furiously for several minutes, I threw up all over my keyboard, because this was the biggest, faggiest piece of shit I've ever read in my life.

I can't believe you just wasted my goddamn time with this crap. I mean, the dream repetitive theme bullshit? Come on. Could you possibly be any less original? "Look at me, I'm Harry GayAss Potter and I have bookends on my stories." Grow up, dipwad.

Clearly you have no idea how the male body works AT ALL. Maybe you should go home, look in your pants, and then just kill yourself, because you are going to die alone. They modeled "Forever Alone" off of your face.

And what the fuck is this crap about Harry and Draco being in love? Are you stupid or something? They clearly hate each other, and not in a "I wanna fuck your brains out" kinda way. Even if they DID have sex, it would never develop into an emotional connection because they've been such complete DICKS to each other for so long. Go back to your boyfriend and ask him to hit you a few more times, you self-hating hippie.

I'm ashamed that writing in America has come to this. What would the founding fathers have to say about this? Probably they would scream and poop themselves and cry because of the magical glowing box that knows everything and is some kind of god. But after that, once they'd acclimated to modernity, they'd just shake their head in disappointment at you.

Aww i love it all! So cutee :)

It's really good!

Seriously, you should write more M, I would definitely read it.

So I COULD sit here and tell you how great your sex scene is, but I'm pretty sure you're aware by now that you have the sexy thermostat up to, like, 112. Which is really damn high. There are definitely two penises (penii? Okay, I know it's not, but something in me wants to call them that. Like "octopi." Which totally isn't right.), and those two dicks definitely go through the correct actions (and then some).

And I could sit here and critique the shit out of your writing, all the little canon, grammatical, or spelling errors. But that's dumb, because even Oscar fucking Wilde made stupid errors that an editor fixed for him. Who am I to judge you for that on a casual fanfiction website? Plus, really, if I were gonna call you out for OOCness, then that would be pointing the finger at all of fanfiction. If it was TRULY "in character" they woulda done it in the source material.

Or I could go on and on about how your knowledge of the male anatomy is retardedly amazing. But then I might as well go on and on about how you have an intimate knowledge of bed sheets, or birdcage liner. What am I gonna say? CONGRATULATIONS ON HAVING MALE ANATOMY! OH WOW YOU WATCHED ENOUGH PORN OR READ ENOUGH HOW-TO MANUALS TO FIGURE OUT HOW IT WORKS! No. You don't want that, and neither do I. It would lead to so many awkward conversations about Nazi chairs that are subjected to humiliations as hot gay sex happens atop them.

Bet you never saw THAT coming up in your reviews, did you? My sneakiness is only outdone by my wiliness. Which is only outdone by my snarkiness. Which is outdone by how many times I will bring up Hitler in one given conversation.

I could go into detail about what I liked (how do we get more people to use the phrase "shit-eating grin?" I feel like the only time I read it is when I write it or read it here just now), and what I didn't like (you didn't even ONCE use the phrase "whatever blows your skirt up" which really has become your catchphrase in my head), but my god there are two million words in this thing and I've already taken up 2000 of my 10,000 review characters.

But what I AM going to do is tell you that you have captured the essence of a budding relationship. The GOOD kind. The kind where you fall in love and exchange virginities with that person like they're paper Valentines, and it's terrifying and awesome and beautiful and embarrassing and completely unforgettable.

Have I told you how much I hate Drarry? Because I do. I could not give two shits about Draco, and the wild sexual tension that supposedly lies between him and Harry. I never noticed it, and blond people scare me (I say, tugging my hat down on my head so you won't notice my own blond hair) because I'm always worried Hitler will come back and make blond hair en vogue. (Oops, there he is again.)

Why am I telling you this? Because you MADE me give two shits about Draco and Harry and their relationship.

The way you have encapsulated being in love completely won me over. The emotion in your writing, the stupid awkward embarrassing TRUTH of not knowing what you're doing, but knowing that you want to do it and figuring it out as you go along so that maybe it's not as sexy as it COULD be, but fuck, doesn't that make it even sexier? All that makes this story kind of perfect.

This story has more heart and soul and spirit and honesty in it than most of the shit I can find in published writing. And if you think for one minute I'm just saying that so that you'll write me back and tell me about those kittens, you're a racist. No wait, dumb. You're dumb. Not a racist. But that's not my point here. My point is that this story has IT. You have IT. And "it" is not code language for "penis" or "herpes", but that mysterious X factor that breathes life into words. All the thesauruses in the world can't do that.

You've got it, or you don't.

And you've got it.

(that time it DID mean herpes.)

Kidding. Keep writing. Everything will smooth out on its own. I promise. You'll write and write and write, and it'll get better because you do it so often, and then you'll reread, and see what you like or don't like, and it'll get better because you'll remember what you like. And then you'll be telling people like me to shut up already because you don't write for US you write for YOU and who are WE to tell the great AEROMANCE what to fucking write in your fucking best selling novels?

Anyway, I feel that 4500 characters is plenty to stroke your ego, and besides, I have to write a senior portfolio by 1 pm tomorrow. Soooo... I'm gonna go get on that. Think you'll have more for me to read by the time I get back? GREAT! CAN'T WAIT! I will hold you to that agreement I just made without your consent two sentences ago 100% and be completely devastated if you bail on me.

Omg. That was amazing! Totally hot as! Thank you x

Beautiful :)

I absolutely do not believe that this is your first lemon! very hot indeed m'dear!

Well... That was rather...

*%# ing hot.

And I really enjoyed reading this (:

It flowed, the vocabulary is awesome, and it's just some amazing writing (Y)

X

i can definitely say that you got over your fear of explicit lemons! hot damn! A!

OH my wizard god that was hot...I love you even now more...is nora btw

So I suppose you want me to review then? You little bitch 3

ANYWAYS. So yeah. It was good. And I made the mistake of wondering what the hell your SEVEN other reviews said before I reviewed it myself. POOR PLANNING ON MY PART. Because now I have the feeling I'll have angry fangirls riding my ass for anything I say sarcastically/analytically.

I liked the one about your "knowledge of the male anatomy" it set up a humorous mood.

So my only problem for me that is GLARINGLY obvious, is Pygmy Puffs. Because you spelled it "Pygney". And that's the only one that's glaringly obvious, because I read this over two days and still remembered it.

Draco is AMAZINGLY in character, even when he's being sappy, so Kudos and major props for that. It's a hard thing to accomplish, and an even harder thing(excuse the pun) while writing a pure smut with an already established relationship.

One thing I did understand what you were doing(and probably venturing out on your own into the dark wilderness with) but felt could have been explained a little better was not knowing anything about preparation. You'd think two gay males at that age would have figured it out. But it could also be explained by lack of gay sex books at Hogwarts, but I shouldn't have to come to that conclusion on my own now should I?

What's next...I think I'll go on to the point of view change(yes I'm out of order here, gag me with a fork why don't you) I actually didn't take much notice of exactly WHEN it changed, but I'm thinking that in this case it was a good thing since it WAS a flawless transition, while still being noticeable. You put it at one of the best spots you possible could, or you wrote around where you wanted it so it would fit. Or I could be reading too much into it and even YOU didn't notice you had changed POV, in which case SHAME. SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

The bite paragraph(because I don't feel calling it a scene would be the right terminology) So I liked it. And I liked the thought behind it. But I feel it could maybe make a little more sense if you reworded it a TINY bit. Or even just added a few more words. Like "with that"(and you'll know where to put it if you read it over). Instead of "and" for example maybe a comma would be better placed.

And there's nothing else. Except...I'd be interested in reading the whole thing again, with the POV's swapped. Like, Draco at first, then switch to Harry's in the exact same place. I'm just sayin'.