Exactly! Like...
Renee: Bella, u don't have to move to Forks yanno.
Bella: No, mum. I want to go. I'll be fine.
Renee: Ok
Bella: *gets to Forks* UGH! I hate this place! It's so wet and cold and it sucks! Imma gunna cry, like the pathetic teenager I am!

Like, WTF?
Btw, I luving the story so far!

This is how twilight should actually end! Great job.

This is the first time I'm reading Twilight (or an awesome parody of it) because though I tried to read the original book, I couldn't and fell asleep.
But this version is making me laugh like hell. Great job!

Dang. I would adore a sequel to this hilarious crap XD

You are amazing. I was laughing about the Sary parody you did. I totally want a Legolas corpse backpack, maybe I can ask Eldorna for one.

Sweetie, have you had an experience with an obese truck driver? I'm starting to get worried.

Oh.
My.
Damnitduck.
God.

SERIOUSLY?! THAT'S HOW IT ENDED?! HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MAGIC "VAMPIRE SPIT"?!
...

PAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA! Oh my god! x'D

*applauds*

Holy there-are-people-who-side-with-me-against-Twilight ?!, Batman!

WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND? :D

ahahahah..that was epic
loved it :D

Once there was a girl who decided to read this explanation about why this person hated twilight. She thought Twilight was ok, not the greatest, but read it anyway.

She liked what she was seeing so fa- Ok. Time to skip to first person.

I think Bella actually means "Beauty" Not "Beautiful" but close enough. And having the last name Swan does not really count, but I see where your going.

One thing about books- You HAVE to describe to protagonist. Not that you should take the path of Tara Gilesbie [Or however its spelled] but you should still at least say something like "She had Brown hair and blue eyes"

Anyway. In general, you deserve a high-five. :D

This could be just me, but as a smaal twilight fan, I found if you stick 'retardly' in as every single adjective/adverb it describes Bella perfectly.

Because Bella is a: Your mother is a *beep beep beep beep*Laura Mendsom*beep beep beep*Inventive menium*beep beep beep beep*tra goo la*beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep* hippopotamus*beep beep beep beep beep beep* Republican *beep beep beep*Daniel Radcliffe *beep beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep beep beep* in a castle far away where no one can hear you *beep beep beep beep beep beep* soup *beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep* Mickey Mouse *beep beep* with a stick of dynamite *beeeeeepppp* magical *beep beep beep beep* ALAKAZAM!

We are the Knights Who Say Ni

I did not mean to use the term "novel" to describe the original...work(?) Please forgive me.
However, having seen previews or whatever for the last of the books/movies, I think I should point out that "The Bed of constipation...Consumation(?)" probably came from IKEA...which is why it collapsed. Just a thought.

Now I no longer need to read the book or watch the movie. Thank you.*at this point- a la "the Godfather"- I will kiss your ring-that just happens to be made of the Bella's bones; and the ring has a sparkly happy face on it with these words: "The End...Thank God!"
However, now I want to read, in abbreviated form, the rest of the books/movies. Please use two sentences or less for each book/novel. Your introductions and commentaries will be longer, of course.

ONE GAJILLION GOOGOLS OF LULZ.