I'm in the middle of chapter 2 and can't finish. It's an okay story line but written VERY immaturely. This is written for a 13 year old who thinks they're grown. Not my cup of tea.

No it will ruin the whole story please don’t put babies

Nuuuu. Why is she the “bad person”

Why is it bold?

How old are you? Jesus. Ellipticals are unnecessary. This feels very disjointed and juvenile.

You should write more

I made it to chapter 8. I just can't. This story is all over the place. I could handle that. But the fact that the Alice must days something and Jasper and Bella Judy to with it. I hate it. I really just can't.

Imo (in my opinion) the story is kinda everywhere with there being shapeshifters and alice being kidnapped. I thought it was weirder that major didn't attack alice for not telling him or the fact that carlilse is still a part of the voltori unofficially...it is kinda all over the place

I love this story, in the end Jasper takes over the Vampire world and Bella is Queen. I hope there is a sequal

Will they wait until she is a little older so she won't be stuck as a teenager for eternity like fairy boy Eddie? i think out side of accidents people should not be turned until they are at least twenty so they don't look like a kid the change will make their features mature.

I would say they are the Romanians or it could be Joham wanting Bella to make hybrids for him.

If she sound like a cunt she must be a have come back to the story and fixed your mistakes.
So her nerves got the best of her and she ran off. why can't he feel the mating pull or does he and he is just too stupid to know what it is?

You needed a beta or pre-reader to check some of your spelling and grammar.
So i gather Alice saw the end of her control of Jasper and ain't will she be trying to bullshit the family to keep said control over the idiot?

Great story

should burn the hand he broke he wrist with...he'd still be alive