I love your OC Raven...I hope you will cont...

Love it update please :)

Pls plsz plsz update!

Omg, can't stop reading,loving Raven and Riddick together

Yep, very addictive,loving Raven already...can't wait for more

Great chapter, very captivating,and addictive all at the same time

please update this story asap please

please write another chapter please

Spelling correction; it should be 'R-O-U-T-E'

can you please continue the story? i realize the lemon take down is important and all. but my heart shattered when there was no more to the story...

put my name on!

can't wait for the next chapter, keep up the good work :)

Just to inform you, all of the below is constructive critisism. I am not being rude, but you must accept ALL reviews whether they please you or not. Besides, what is a good writer without encouragement to get better?

First off, please work on your grammar, spelling, and punctuation. It is very difficult to follow the storyline, plus you managed to leave out / forget necessary detail to the setting and plot. What it is, I will allow you to figure out on your own, because I hope to know you have extended your knowledge for detail since this story was posted.

Second of all, I believe you failed to capture Riddick's gruff and careless personality, thus labeling him to be "OOC" or "out-of-character". He would not "like" a woman "more and more" because she happened to start up a decent little chat. Riddick lusts for beautiful women, yes, but there is a difference. He would not, and does not, "love" women. They need to PROVE they worthy of his /respect/ before they can come close to gaining his affection( Refer to Kyra / Jack. She only needed his respect before any compassion came along. ). Even then, you needed to have Raven strive for what Riddick thinks deserves more than just a passing glance or the brush of a hand against her own. At least something along the lines of showing him she's no damsel in distress. You needed to be a little LESS focused on making him fall for Raven immediately, because starting a random relationship in the SECOND chapter is too early, and is expected by most young or careless writers.

Third, Raven is what some people call "unoriginal". She seems to have the perfect body, the most beautiful eyes / face / hair / lips, etcetera etcetera. In other words, she's too wonderful. Give her some flaws. For example: a small mole on her neck, or an estranged personality that is leaning on the edge of nearly psycopathic. Anything extra to show everyone that Raven isn't just the pretty little convict.

You have potential, but keep learning.

Other than the 3 unimportant parts, grammatical errors, and spelling errors, this is a very good story. Please continue writing it.

This is a good fanfiction. Please update soon.