That ending was lovely!

Oh my I'm breaking for Ui right nowHang in there Ui!

Wow...poor UiI'm rooting for her right now!\)

Well, well, soldier...

THIS...was...*A*

The first 2 chapters were simply heart-wrenching yet so...freakin'...S-W-EET! *O* Poor Ui...I really felt for her. I've read a lot of yuri incest fics, I've written yuri incest fics, but THIS! This is right there with the best fics I've read! :D

And this chapter right here...*A* SO...SO...Gah! X_x This was sweet beyond words, marine! X3

Now, I DO believe there should be a follow up chapter with closure. :P

Helluva job, marine!

Update ASAP! That's an order!

Semper-Fi! Carry on!

im not really one for yuri or incest but i just keep reading, chapter after chapter it's just soo goood.

I'm not really one for incest, but you wrote that wonderfully, i couldn't top reading for a moment. All the feelings and character detail you can really feel, so i have to say you did a amazing job

Please I read more! . You should definitely write at least one more chapter as a sort of conclusion. The two sisters should openly speak their minds about their feelings.!

Please! More! T_T

This is a very, very touching and intense story! You describe Ui's feelings in so much detail, it really makes me feel for her. I'm glad that this latest chapter turned out (mostly?) happy. You should definitely write at least one more chapter as a sort of conclusion. The two sisters should openly speak their minds about their feelings.

I actually forgot about this for awhile, its good to see it back.

Is this beta'd? There are some spelling mistakes but nothing glaring and most of them are in the author's note anyways.

Is the whole story going to be an internal monologue? I find I enjoy having a couple of normal chapters inbetween or a chapter from another person's perspective to help keep things unique and exciting.

I hope to see a lot more of this

Condor

These 2 are so romantic

Woah, never thought that someone would make a long fic about these 2

~kaizer20

I agree with Mark Ryan all the way.

I just started this series.

It kind of reminds me of Lucky Star with better character dynamics but not as funny(though it has its moments).

You know, if you do decide to continue this then I hope Ui's torture doesn't last too long.

Hope to see more.

Condor.

Update dude!

Well, where to start with this?

Firstly, God, this is a cruel piece. Only two chapters in and that horrid, desperate place Ui is portrayed to be in weighs on me. Mercy! The chorus demands mercy.

But I say this is a good thing. You have produced a very refined effect here, something very striking. The incest doesn't bother me in the slightest, as I myself have written one or two stories like that, and in the case of this show and these two characters, it could be interpreted to be perfectly fitting. And beyond that, there is a very nice added level to an incestuous relationship... Though this isn't really that.

The feelings Ui has are completely palpable here - heart wrenching even - that feeling of wanting something with someone so bad, knowing you're never going to be able to get it, and worse yet knowing that you're never going to stop wanting it. And that feeling of reliance, that feeling that you'll never survive without whatever it is you share with that person, and you know you'll lose it soon... It's tragic. Very well done here.

In criticisms I'd say revise these pieces for punctuation. I imagine you wrote it pretty fast - I say that only because when the inspiration takes me for something as this, I write very fast and pay little attention to whatever punctuation mistakes I may be making. I see a few omitted letters here and there, but the point still got across. Also, I know the ellipses have a nice look and help the flow, but I feel you overuse them. I would find other ways to do what you're intending with her fractured and confused thought processes.

Another note, I'm not sure I agree with the omission of honorifics. I do agree that adding unnecessary Japanese words is redundant when it is done only for its own sake, but adding words of other languages, when used for a certain, effect is good. For instance, in Japanese music, the lyricists often use English words where Japanese words would also suffice, simply because the English word supplies the feeling better. This is also the case with terms like 'joie de vivre,' which is French, but used in English because the transliteration doesn't carry the wanted effect.

And in the case of honorifics, I have to say that they add an important dimension to the story. They can signify, with only a few short letters, the relationship between two people. In one story, I used the honorifics in coordination with actions and dialogue to show that at first the two characters were merely acquaintances, and latter were very intimate. And this honorific idea is not nearly the same in English with transliteration.

In this case, though, with or without honorifics, the story works... Though for the affect of flow, it works better with, in my own opinion. Anyways, this is amazing stuff, and I implore you not to be discouraged! Put your shoulder to the plow and continue thusly, friend!

(Seriously though, this is good and I want more).