You had a lot of this person told this person and they told another person. It was a fair story. It didn’t fully make sense. There is no resolution evident. Unless, is it the support meeting? I think that the next chapter should less focused on Walter. I get it he’s a main character, but each chapter is more of the same. Walter is causing problems, he’s different, and dumb. You are just being repetitive in your writing. I’m saying this writer to writer you can’t be repetitive and have a great story. If you want a fair story that’ll work for you, but you could achieve a lot better work if you tried harder.

I read part of the first chapter and, not going to lie, it was quite badly written. I was about to quit but decided to see what the later chapters were like and you have improved. Majorly. I would like something to see how much your writing has changed in almost eight years, but I'm not forcing you to do so.

Returning your review :)
I do like twin stories as you know. Poor Harry, destined to be second again whether to Dudley or Walter!
Good old Mrs Weasley, always there for him!

Not very good

Hi excuse me if you are busy but when is the next one because I love this fan fiction it's super interesting! Thank You!

How much fairy tail have you been watching magnolia Marjorie fubuster is what I've discovered and this is what the would be magnolia miraJane and fulbuster I'm may be wrong or you just can't stop your self

Chapter 4
If I'M correct you should have one hundred reviews now, congrats. It looks like Walters becoming more like sociopath as he gets older, his the kind of person that gives slytherin a bad name

Chapter 3
It looks as if Walter is getting better, but James and Sirius are being counterproductive in the way they handle him

Review for chapter 2
It looks to me like Walter is just like Tom, exactly like Tom. He might be the next Voldemort

Review for chapter 1
I decided to give you a review since you are always reviewing my work and I have to say I like it quite a lot. It's very interesting!

I know it's been so long since this has been updated, but I really want to know more. It is a very interesting story that makes you want to read more and more.

Arkarian7

If you're going to nitpick other people's stories, perhaps you should start with your own. There's quite a number of run-ons and grammatical errors in this. It's also incredibly dull. It's all telling, no showing. You just narrative everything that's happened and there's very little action or dialogue.

Cheers~

The additional characters Damon and Walter were a welcome change... Although James was slightly OOC ..didn't he mature after marrying Lily? He doesn't seem like a good father in this chapter.

This story keeps getting better the more I read it. I wasn't sure in the beginning, but now I realised it's fab!

Great work! I like the fact that Harry has a lot of siblings, and I think you chose really cool names too. Damon and Myra are the best ones, in my opinion. Walter is a name I've always hated, so it suits the boy in this story.

A bit more dialogue would be nice as there isn't much, but overall it's really good.

Well, except for the paragraphs which are slightly too long for my taste, to the point where often I get bored and skip them, and the rather unoriginal title, the story has potential.